*I know this is a weird ass story and three characters are SO OOC, but I had to write this. I dreamed the idea last night and laughed my ass off so I HAD to put it on fanfic. Review and let me know what you think ^-^*
"You're leaving for how long?" Kakuzu smirked, "I've already told you, it's going to be at least five days." Kakuzu, Kisame, and Itachi had to go on a mission that was pretty far out and we were saying our farewells.
Hidan tackled him in a hug, "You better fucking come back in one piece old man." Kakuzu rolled his eyes and patted his head, "I will you moron."
"Don't get frisky with Itachi and Kisame now." He cocked an eyebrow then gave me a rough kiss from my comment and then kissed Hidan. With that done, all three left. I know it wasn't a big deal to fuss over but, I was going to miss him.
Deidara, Tobi and I were in the living room playing cards when Sasori, Hidan, and Zetsu came in carrying a bunch of bags. I thought they just had a meeting session but it looks like they went out afterwards.
It was something about an experimental jutsu but I didn't know the details. For some reason when they entered, the atmosphere was feeling…..off.
Deidara and Tobi sensed it too and stared at them as I was. You don't have to be a ninja to get a bad feeling. We tried to ignore them and go back to our game, which I lost. "Damn." Hidan came over and popped me on the cheek, "Hidan, what was that for?"
It didn't hurt but I was surprised as hell he did that. "You should know better than to curse like that." I didn't answer and just stared in complete shock. "Are you feeling ok Hidan un?"
Sasori stroked his lover's hair and smiled, "Of course he is Deidei, now you be a good boy and play nicely." Deidara gave his Danna the exact same expression I had and was flabbergasted. Tobi was just as confused as we were and tried to stand up when Zetsu gently pushed him back down.
"Zetsu, why you won't let Tobi get up? He want to get a drink." Zetsu just spoke softly, "No I'll go get it Tobi." "I don't want you to hurt yourself." "That's a good idea Zetsu, is my girl thirsty?" I nodded somewhat and so did Deidara just to get them to leave. All three seme's left to go get us a drink and left us freaked out.
"Did I miss something? Is this some kind of joke they're playing?" "I have no idea and I don't like it un." "Tobi scared. They are NOT themselves." "They're like totally different people."
Deidara knitted his eyebrows in thought, "Do you think it has to do something with that experimental jutsu they did earlier un?" "That has to be it Sempai!" "What do we do about it then?"
He shrugged, "I guess just go along with it un." They came back. Hidan put the drink on the table and then pulled me onto his lap in another chair. I tried to get the drink but he took it from me and held it to my lips, "No, you're not big enough to do it by yourself yet babe. Let me do it for you."
He's talking to me like I'm a toddler. Deidara and Tobi were getting the same treatment as I was too. What the hell is going on? I was getting annoyed, "Will you just fucking stop Hidan?" He tsked, "What have I told you about cursing?"
I made a face and hopped out of his lap, "Who the hell are you and where is Hidan?" He frowned and shook his head before Deidara started. "Danna, I can do it myself un." Sasori smirked and ignored his lover's protest, "I know you think you can Deidei, but you're just not ready yet."
Deidara snapped and jumped off his lap, "What the hell is wrong with you and stop calling me Deidei damn it un!" Zetsu covered Tobi's ears like he was trying to shield him from hearing Deidara's curses.
Hidan muttered, "What am I going to do with you. I guess I have no choice but to give you some discipline." Sasori frowned, "Agreed." He took a struggling Deidara into his arms and pulled him over his lap, "This is going to hurt me more than it does you brat."
Hidan grabbed me and took the same action, "Good girls don't curse like a sailor Olivia." He yanked my lower clothes down and brought his hand down with a good hard smack. Deidara and I were getting spanked like a couple of kids!
Tobi was too scared to move and watched us get our punishment; they were hard smacks that stung badly. Hidan finally stopped and asked, "Have you learned your lesson baby?" I meekly nodded my head, just to get him to stop.
He pulled my slacks back up and kissed me on the forehead, "I have a present for my little princess." Princess? He sat me back in the chair and started fumbling through the bags. Sasori smirked, "I have something for you too Deidei." Zetsu put Tobi down and ruffled his hair before joining the other two.
Without hesitation all three of us broke to the bathroom and locked ourselves in. "Kakuzu picked a fine time to leave when we need help!" Deidara wiped the sweat from his forehead, "They're acting like they're our parents." Tobi nodded, "Tobi don't like this at all. They treating us like babies."
"Whatever happened to them, it better wear off soon!" The door knob jiggled and an aggravated Zetsu spoke through the door, "Alright children, open the door." We huddled into a corner without a word and stared at the door, knowing it was going to open somehow.
"Tobi! I'll give you to the count of three to open this door." Tobi flinched from Zetsu's tone and buried his face against his sempai's shoulder. "One." None of us moved. "Two." We're doomed. "Three!" We heard some jingling keys and the door swung open to reveal three agitated men holding…no way.
With a LOT of struggling and curses, all three of us were stripped of our clothes and put into what they bought us. We were carried to the living room and were forced to sit with our 'parents.'
I was sitting on the couch in between Hidan's legs, who was grinning from ear to ear and gently pinched my cheek, "My girl looks so pretty in her little dress doesn't she?" I was in a baby pink, mini tank top nightie with fluffy edges that barely covered my behind; in which I was wearing matching lacy boy shorts. Almost a negligee I should say.
Zetsu smiled, "She's so adorable Hidan." "Almost as cute as my little Tobi." Tobi was wearing a solid orange, fitted t-shirt with matching boy shorts. "It matched Tobi's mask perfectly, I just had to get it." Zetsu was rocking Tobi the whole time in his chair and the poor boy didn't know what to do.
Sasori grinned, "You did do an excellent job Zetsu. Deidei, please hold still." Deidara was slumped on the floor as Sasori just finished putting a bow onto his ponytail. "There, such a beautiful boy you are. No one can resist you now."
Deidara was scowling the whole time in his 'outfit.' His was just like Tobi's except the color was baby blue. I wasn't too upset about what I was wearing but still. This situation has got to be the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened at this apartment and I knew it was only going to get worse.
I was right of course. The day was almost over and guess what us baby uke's had? Toys, stuffed animals, more clothes, and other stuff we haven't seen yet I'm sure.
We've learned rather quickly just to go endure the humiliation and make them happy. No matter what we did, we couldn't get away from the loving attention and we'd get punished severely for disobeying the rules too. Trust me, it wasn't painless.
It was about nine when Deidara, Tobi and I were playing cards on the floor when I yawned. That seemed to be what Hidan was waiting for and clapped his hands together, "Looks like my little girl is getting sleepy, time for bed." I scowled when I reached out my arms for him to pick me up, "Don't give me that face. Daddy tired too you know."
Holy mother of Jashin! Now he's my daddy? I groaned and buried my face against his neck when he carried me to his room; just when I thought it couldn't possibly get any worse…it just did. I hate to see what else they've gotten in store for us tomorrow.
To be continued: