Just me being really random, really.

Disclaimer: Nope, sadly, I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or the book series with the titles like "If You Give a Mouse a Muffin."

Does anyone know why those books were told entirely in hypotheses?

If You Give a Ling a Lunch

A children's book by Edward Elric

If you give a Ling a lunch, he'll tell you stories about his homeland.

If Ling tells you stories about his homeland, he'll expect you to give him the secret to immortality.

If he expects you to give him the secret to immortality, he'll sic his ninjas on you.

If he sics his ninjas on you, you'll end up becoming vitriolic buds with the guy.

If you become vitriolic buds with the guy, he'll stalk you back to your home.

If he stalks you back to your home, he'll expect you to give him another lunch.

If he expects you to give him another lunch, he'll send your room service bill sky high.

If he sends your room service bill sky high, he'll have to repay you.

If Ling has to repay you, he'll aid you in hunting down a Homonculus.

If he aids you in hunting down a Homunculus, you'll both be eaten.

If you're both eaten, you'll have to eat leather boot.

If you have to eat leather boot, you'll end up meeting a palm tree...for some reason or another.

If you end up meeting a palm tree, that palm tree will turn into a total abomination.

If that palm tree turns into a total abomination, you'll all end up in the lair of that palm tree's father.

If you all end up in that palm tree's lair, Ling will be turned into a total douche bag.

Moral of the story, kiddies: Don't feed illegal immigrants lunch. They'll lose their souls.

Alphonse closed the hardback book with a tsk of his nonexistent tongue. "They're not going to publish this, Brother."

Edward shot him an indignant look. "Maybe not in Xing, but Amestrian kids love demented stories like this!"

Remember the laws of Equivalent Exchange! I give you a story, you give me a review!