The darkness has come to swallow him whole. It seemed that all his bad choices manifested into the sick, twisted image of Sam with Ric. God, the name felt like bile in his throat, how he wishes he could've killed him so long ago. He's drowning himself in alcohol, wishing for the images to die, but they never do. Its as if the memory was taunting him, forcing him to see the damages his choices created. He pushed her away. He shouldn't be mad. He shouldn't be hurt. He tries to convince himself that this was what he deserved for pushing her away, but the anger was still there. The hatred still burning within him.
He lays on the steps, begging for the memories to shut up, but they don't. Slamming his fist against the side of the steps, Jason wonders if anything can kill the images from playing in his mind again, but he doubts anything can. A knock could be heard, but he wonders if he's just imaging it. So he lays there for a while longer, waiting to see if the person will knock again. When they do, he lifts himself up from the steps to see who it was. Never in a million years would he have guessed it would be her.
The look in his eyes mirror her own and he wonders what was going on with her. They stare at each other for a moment, both not really believing that they were there in that moment. Elizabeth recovers first and walks past him into the penthouse. He can see she's in pain, it was evident in her eyes. He takes the chance to get out his problems and enter into hers. Once again, he's thankful for her because she is able to stop him from thinking about his own problems.
Her tears fail to stop and so he offers her the only comfort he was able to turn to. She eyes him intently, curious that he would offer her that kind of comfort, but takes the shot regardless. She wonders what's going on with Jason, at first she thinks he's drunk, but he quickly denies it. Even with the denial, she can still see he's hurting. There's a darkness in his eyes, a painfully vibrant darkness and she wonders how that look came to be in his blue orbs.
The words seem to flow out and they find themselves in the same kind of heartache. Both having watched the people who they envisioned spending their lives with in bed with someone else. They talk some more, of both the present and the past. Confessions are made and an old flame is ignited. The closeness between them starts to get to Jason first, then to her, as they unknowingly play their little dance. Push and pull, close then putting distance between them.
Jason follows after her, not liking the distance anymore. He thought he got over the need to touch her, every time in her presence he is compelled to feel her soft skin against his, but he never gave in. Standing there, so close to her, he wants so badly to. He can see that she feels the desire to, but she's trying to deny it. A confession is made and he's not sure what to do with it, but he speaks his mind regardless.
"Life has a funny way of coming between us." he hears her say softly, truer words never spoken.
"But we're still friends." Jason points out, noting just how much he relied on that over the years, the certainty of her being there.
She tries to pull away from him, knowing she spoke too much, but he won't let her. He takes hold of her arm, pulling her back to him, not wanting the distance anymore. His breathing is turning shallow as she continues to talk. He barely registers what she has to say, the need burning within him too vibrantly. He doesn't want her to think. If he could, he'd take her out on his bike to show her the wind. Anything to drown out both their thoughts, but something more appealing comes to mind and he hopes she won't pull away. She hopes she won't deny herself what she wants because he can see it clearly in her eyes. He can feel it radiating off her body, she wants him in as desperate of a way as he wants her.
Jason trails his fingers up her arm, lightly dragging it over her neck, just touching her as she talks. He stares at her, watching what him touching her is doing to her, seeing her reserve breaking. He undoes the tie of her hair, wanting it to flow down loosely. He wants her completely as she is, in all her beauty, without anything holding her back. He leans into her, silently begging her to make the connection, his heart skipping a couple beats when her hands go up to frame his face.
When their lips meet, Jason's reserve explodes and he gives into his deepest desires. She's letting him touch her in every way he has always wanted to. His hands roam her body, touching and caressing everything he can, feeling every reaction her body makes to his touches. There's no pulling back this time. She gives in and he takes her completely. He feels like this isn't right, they should be in a bed, but he can't stop himself long enough. He wants her now in the most desperate way.
"I never expected this." Jason admits, sitting with her, amazed at how beautiful she looked. Not that she wasn't always beautiful, but her beauty is so different in that moment.
"Neither did I." Elizabeth smiles slightly, her hand propping her head up as she looks at him. "But I'm not sorry."
"No regrets." Jason says softly, staring into her eyes. "Is that the lesson?"
"No regrets." Elizabeth agrees, smiling at the look in his eyes, the darkness wasn't there anymore. "Its like we've come full circle."
"In a way, we have." Jason brushes her hair from her face, wanting full view of her eyes.
"I think I should go." Elizabeth sits up, hugging the blanket around her body. "If I can find a place to stay for the night. I can't go to grams, I'm definitely not going home, so maybe..."
"Maybe..." Jason coaxes her.
"Maybe I'll go to the on-call room at the hospital and hope no one asks questions..."
"Or you can just stay here..." Jason sucks up all the courage he posses to finish the sentence. "...with me."
He says things he never thought he'd be able to admit. How much she means to him. How much he appreciates her presence in his life. Then the new dance begins, this one better than the last because this was different. This wasn't about the pain they suffered, the love the lost, this time it was about them. Their past. Their connection. Their needs and desires. Everything burning within them as they make love to each other. Its everything they imagined and more, passion burning vibrantly between them as their bodies mold against the other.
. . . . . . JaSam & LL2. . . . . . .
Jason is standing there, he can hear her talking, but he can't bring himself to really look at her. Its hard to see her without thinking about Ric's hands all over her. Its strange because he can look at Elizabeth and not see Ric, but looking at Sam, that's all he can see. Maybe its because he's never seen them together and he witnessed Sam and Ric first hand. He didn't care, he just didn't want to look directly at Sam. He just couldn't.
"When you saw me with Ric, did you even think to stop it?" Sam questioned, her heart racing fast, her mind swarming with so many thoughts.
"I thought about killing him." Jason admits in a low tone. "I just...I just walked away instead."
"God this can't be happening." Sam breathes, tears frozen in her eyes. "Jason, when you left the lakehouse, what did you do?"
"I just...you know, came back here and started to drink." Jason admits, thoughts of the night coming to mind. "Elizabeth showed up, she was upset...she just found out that Lucky was having an affair with Maxie Jones."
"Now that's unlikely." Sam sighs, shaking her head.
Jason gives the excuse that Elizabeth had given him, that Lucky was strung out on pills. As he continues to talk, he's not really talking to her anymore and she can see that. Jason's mind goes back to the night he spent with Elizabeth. How long had he wanted her, but never gotten to give into her essence. He knows Sam'll be hurt by his admission, but Jason tells her anyway. He gives her the truth of how he dealt with her romp with Ric. Hurting her further when he says it wasn't to get back at her.
Sam would understand if it was to pay her back, but he doesn't play games and he wouldn't lie. Too many lies have been passed between them, he just couldn't do it anymore. He's tired of pretending, of lying, of not being true to himself. He won't do it anymore.
Elizabeth gets home and finds a note, saying that he is going to an NA meeting and she pauses at that fact, but only for a moment. Pushing that out of her mind, Elizabeth focuses on the kiss that could still be felt on her lips. She doesn't give it a second thought, walking into the room she gets her luggage and starts to pack. She wants to be gone before Lucky gets home or, at the very least, have everything in the car. Rushing to pack her things, Elizabeth finds pills in places she couldn't even stomach seeing.
She had everything in the car by the time Lucky walked through the door. Elizabeth slung her purse on her shoulder once her coat was on and she could see the confusion in his eyes. Standing her ground, Elizabeth waits for him to speak. She could see that he notices things missing.
"What's going on?" Lucky asks, confusion in his eyes.
"Its over." Elizabeth says plainly. "I'm filing for divorce."
"What?" Lucky shakes his head. "But I'm going to NA meetings. I'm going to get clean."
"And that's good for you." Elizabeth agrees. "I just can't be the one to help you through it."
"You're just going to leave?" Lucky's eyes grew big. "But I need you!"
"No...you need yourself." Elizabeth corrects. "You're the only person that can help you now. I can't help you Lucky...Cam needs me more."
"I'm his father..."
"Don't make this any harder than it already is Lucky." Elizabeth sighs, walking over to the door. "I'm filing for the divorce papers. If you ever really loved me, you'll sign them without contest."
He tries to stop her, but she's too fast for him. A part of her heart ached for her to stay and help him, but she knew it was pointless. As a nurse, she knew that the addict will only get clean for themselves, no one else has any affect on their sobriety, so she had to be strong enough to leave. For herself and for her son, it was time for her to let go of Lucky. Tears in her eyes, she gets into her car and drives away. This is what's best for them. As hard as it is, this is the right thing to do.
"I didn't expect you to come back." Jason hesitantly admits, smiling as he stares into her eyes.
"Can I come in?" Elizabeth asks, suddenly nervous.
"Y-Yeah, of course." Jason steps aside, allowing her to walk in before closing the door. "What did you..."
He tries to ask her something, but he forgets what he was about to say when her lips come crashing into his. All thoughts leave his mind as she molds into his body, he holds her close, the need to touch her abundantly strong. The kiss doesn't go any further. Its a simple embrace, acknowledging things have changed between them. Things that neither want to ignore. He kisses her soundly, wrapping his arms around her possessively. Not caring that he just destroyed any chance of him and Sam getting back together. She doesn't care that she just ruined any chances of her and Lucky. They both just give into the kiss. No other thoughts registering but the feel of their lips as one.
A/N: There you go. Hope you liked it. Let me know what you want to see or how you want it to go and I'll try to work it in.
Please, don't tell me you like the start of the story. I mean, I love all reviews, but I really want your thoughts on it.