Summary: Bella is in love with a married man and she's left facing a harsh reality when she utters three little words.
PTB (MeteorMuse and shelikesthesound) made this o/s so fucking pretty for me, thank you.
Any other mistakes are mine.
SM owns Twilight.
The minute I wake up, I am thinking about him—about his eyes and the way they see me, his lips and the way they worship my body, his hands and the way they caress me. I've missed him terribly, this day couldn't have come sooner. One day a week is all I get, and sometimes it is just not enough. It is all he can give, and still, I stay.
I love him.
The long hours at the office have been killing me, and not being able to contact him makes it that much worse. All week I come home to an empty apartment, and I have dinner alone. One day, I hope we can change that. We haven't talked about it, but I have hope we will soon.
He has a very busy life, constantly traveling for business and his…personal life. He knows I'll wait for him. I would do anything for him.
I hate that we cannot see each other any other days, but that's okay. He is mine on Wednesday—every Wednesday. He promised me that, and I never fail to show up at the coffee shop.
I get dressed for work, and on these days, I wear a skirt. He loves them on me, especially when he gets to push it up past my waist and have his way with me.
It's what we do. We meet for coffee, and the rest of the evening is spent getting reacquainted with each other in the most luxurious hotels I have ever seen. He loves to spoil me, and I let him. Sometimes we'll go out and do other things, but it's not as fun. I don't mind we never visit with friends, or that I haven't met his family; I'm happy just being with him.
I love him.
We met a year ago.
I stopped at a small coffee shop just outside of the city. I was on my way home from visiting my parents. I had seen the place on my way and decided to stop.
It was a cozy little coffee shop, filled with the warm smell of coffee.
The jingle of the bell alerted the little old lady behind the counter of my presence. She ushered me to a table by a wall of books. I had not intended to stay but thought why not? She took my order and let me be. I browsed through the books, but I didn't pick anything up. Everything looked too old and neat to disturb it. The large windows on the opposite wall let in enough sunlight to give a nice glow to my little corner. It was a perfect spot to sit and read. I was instantly in love with it.
I would definitely be coming back to this place, I thought to myself.
The door opened and the bells jingled just as I was digging into my piece of chocolate cake. In walked the most beautiful man I had ever seen. He wore a charcoal suit with a black shirt, the top buttons undone. His tie was loose, and he carried a large briefcase.
He waved at the old lady and went straight to a table by the window. I watched him as I drank my coffee. He took off his jacket, letting me see more of his body. The shirt was fitted; it hugged his chest and arms beautifully. You could tell that he liked to work out; he was lean but muscular in the right places. I could guess that he might have a six-pack too, what I wouldn't give to run my fingers over those abs…
He set up his laptop; papers soon covered the little table. He didn't notice me until he reached into his bag and pulled out a pair of glasses. Fuck me, he wears glasses? He placed them on his face and when he looked up, he caught me. I should have been embarrassed about being caught ogling him. His eyes were green, and his hair was…a coppery mess. Those glasses made him look even sexier. I am sure it was illegal to look that hot.
He smirked at me, and I blushed, I looked down immediately. My face felt hot, and I didn't dare look back up again. I concentrated on my coffee, which was delicious, by the way, and my cake.
I looked up when I heard the clicking of the keys as he typed. I admired his face, his strong jaw that tightened as he concentrated on the screen. I wondered what he was doing here in the afternoon, instead of working at his office. Whatever the reason, I'm glad he was here. He was so pretty to look at.
He quickly got up when he saw the lady coming his way with his order. I didn't even hear him order anything. He must come in here often for them to know what he wants.
"I told you I would get it, Gloria," he admonished, trying to take the tray away from her. Gah. Even his voice was sexy. One could only describe it as velvety. Yes, definitely velvety.
"Hush you. Let me take care of you. You're always working so hard," she scolded as she placed the tray on his table. She patted his shoulder and told him to enjoy his hot chocolate.
Gloria looked over at my table and smiled at me. "He's so stubborn this one," she pointed at him. "But isn't he just handsome," she gushed. He looked up embarrassed; it was quite adorable.
I smiled at her, too shy to respond verbally.
"Where are my manners?" he stood up and walked over to me. "I'm Edward, and you are?" he stretched his hand out to me.
"Bella." I blushed, taking his hand. "Nice to meet you, Edward." He held onto my hand a little longer than appropriate, and he gave me a lopsided smile.
"He's a good catch, dear." Gloria interrupted and just walked away. He rolled his eyes, but he was clearly a little embarrassed.
"She's a sweet lady, but she butts in when she's not supposed to." He smiles.
"May I join you for a bit?" He pointed back to his worktable. "My work can wait. I've got a beautiful woman in front of me." He flashes a crooked grin.
The rest is what you call history, with a few more details in between, Edward and I have been seeing each other ever since. Every Wednesday.
It didn't take long for me to fall madly in love with him.
"Ooh look at you, Miss Thang!" Steph snaps her fingers and looks me up and down. "It must be Slutty Wednesday again." She laughs and I roll my eyes.
"Shut up, bitch. Jealousy isn't your color." I hiss quietly, as I try to contain my smile. I walk past her to get to my desk. I don't like being late, and I've got a lot to do before I can leave.
"I'll meet you in the break room at eleven!" she shouts. I love Steph, but her office manners are deplorable. She knows I'll be there, so I don't answer back.
There is an extra spring to my step today, and I know exactly why. I've already gotten a message today from his assistant confirming our "meeting" today. It's annoying having to go through her, but it makes things easier for Edward. He is always working and doesn't have time to call me personally. I understand. And anything that goes through his assistant doesn't look suspicious, at all; he is very careful about that sort of thing. I'm also pretty sure Charlotte gets paid very well to keep her mouth shut.
The stacks of files on my desk keep growing as the morning progresses. It doesn't even faze me, I just get to work and eagerly wait for three o'clock to come.
I meet Steph in the break room at eleven o'clock. She drills me for details, and again, I say very little. She's been at it for a month now; trying to get a name, or detail just a s juicy. I won't dare tell her that I've actually been with him for a year. I'll never hear the end of it.
She knows I'm seeing someone but nothing else. Sometimes I will throw her a little detail or two but nothing too revealing. Edward is a very wealthy businessman, and he relies on his superior reputation with his clients. It would be really bad for his image if any sort of scandal got out. I certainly do not want that for him, so it is easy for me keep quiet; I like the mystery I leave people with, anyway.
He thought I would walk away when he told me our relationship needed to be under the radar—he just didn't know how hard I had fallen for him. I assured him it was okay with me as long as I was able to be with him.
Like I said; he is mine, and I'd like to keep it that way.
"Why do you keep him a secret? Are you ashamed of him or something?" Steph starts with the questions. She thinks she'll tire me one day, and I'll just confess everything to her. Unfortunately for her, Edward means too much to me to ruin it all for this gossiping bitch. I call her that, but she's a good friend. She knows I get pissy because I can't wait to leave.
I scoff. "I'm not ashamed of him! I just like to keep that part of my life private."
"Does he keep you a secret, too?" She continues her interrogation. "Because that shit wouldn't fly with me. I want my man to flaunt me around." That kind of hurts, and I hope it doesn't show on my face.
"We're just private people…and it's complicated." I know it is a lame excuse, but what else can I say? He does keep me a secret. It does not mean he doesn't care about me. I know he does.
"How complicated is it?" She leans in. She thinks she's got something good. I've been doing this so long, I know I won't reveal anything to her.
"A family conflict is all. We want to be together, and his family would be in the way of that." I shrug.
"Why would his family not want you guys together?" Shit, she doesn't shut up. The questions get old fast, and I just want three o'clock to get here already.
"They just don't. I have to go." I walk out of the room and head to the bathroom. My head is spinning. I hate thinking about his family. The less I think about them, the easier it is for me to continue being with him.
I freshen up my makeup. I look in the mirror and really look at myself. I wonder if I will always be a secret. I'm a beautiful, confident woman. How long will I let myself remain hidden? Am I doomed to that coffee shop and the inside of expensive hotels? I also wonder if he ever thinks about a real life with me…
I sigh, frustrated at myself. I should not let Steph's questioning get to me. She always manages to say something that makes me question what I am doing. It is a nagging little feeling I push to the back of my mind. I've become well accustomed to suppressing certain feelings, and it gets easier every week. The minute I see him, it all goes away and only resurfaces when I'm alone. Sometimes I think of ending it…but then Wednesday comes along, and I just want him. I know I deserve better.
It's been a year, and I've been thinking of bringing it up to him. I want to know where we are going with our relationship. I want to know if he is going to settle down with me…of course, that means he needs to do something about his personal life. I do not know if he is even willing to consider it. That's when I hit the end of the road, and I have a feeling he has no intention of having more with me.
The real question is how long will I let this go on?
I don't know, to be honest. I am in this situation because I want to be.
Before I know it, it is three o'clock, and I'm rushing out of the office, waving goodbye to Steph. She whistles at me, and I roll my eyes. I know I look damn good, though. Edward likes that "naughty secretary" look, and in turn, he's my sexy, horny boss.
I always make him fuck me while he's wearing his glasses—there is just something about them that drives me crazy. Damn, I cannot wait to see him!
"Hi baby." Edward whispers in my ear, catching me off guard. He kisses my lips, and my god does it feel good to have his lips on mine again.
He is a little late meeting me today, but I forgive him instantly. Having him this close to me after all those days of not having him is like heaven. I feel like I can breathe, I wouldn't dare ruin it right now.
He comes around me to take his seat. Damn, the man can rock a suit like nobody's business. It is fit perfectly to accentuate his broad shoulders and lean body. I know firsthand how amazing his body is under all those clothes. Yeah, I'm a little smug sometimes. I can't help it. He carefully drapes his coat on the back of his chair before he takes a seat across from me.
"I ordered you a turkey sandwich." I slide his sandwich over to him. Knowing him, he probably hasn't eaten anything since breakfast. My man is married to his work, and hardly takes the time to eat anything.
"Thanks," he says as he opens it up and takes a huge bite. "Do you mind if I do a little bit of work right now? I'm behind on some emails." He mumbles, already pulling out his laptop. It doesn't even surprise me now; he's such a workaholic. There's nothing wrong with that; I love that about him too. I told him I would take all the good along with the bad; I'm not going anywhere.
"Sure, but you better leave that crap in the car later." I grin. He smirks at me and gets to work. We won't be at the coffee shop much longer; I can see he's eager to leave, as well.
I brush my foot inside his pant leg when he starts to look too serious as he types away. He looks up, glasses on and glares at me. I giggle; he cannot look mean when he's wearing those. He's not mad, but I know he's getting frustrated. I'm already frustrated, so we're even.
We talk about our week while he works. I ask about his family, and he says everything is well.
"I put Jaden in tee ball last weekend, and Justin tried out for little league." His face lights up when he talks about his kids; I don't mind hearing about them. I know he loves them.
"And the baby?" I ask.
His wife gave birth to their third son, Jeremiah, four months ago. He showed me a picture on his phone of the baby when he was about a month old. I haven't seen his other kids or his wife…he prefers to keep that private. With the baby, I guess it was just a moment when he wanted to talk about his new joy. He was smiling from ear to ear as he scrolled through his phone to show me his new son. It was a picture of him holding the sleeping baby. I could tell he is going to be handsome like his dad. His little, almost bald - head had a little red hue to it. It was adorable.
"He's good." Edward shakes his head and smiles. "He still doesn't let us sleep, but he's amazing."
"That's good." I don't ask any more about his family. If I ask too much, he gets upset, and that is understandable.
He says that when he's with me, he just wants to focus on me and get the stress relief he needs from his job and his life at home.
I know my boundaries; I never interfere in his life and only ask basic questions. They are a part of him, after all. And I accept him—all of him.
He doesn't talk much about them, but sometimes he'll give me a glimpse of his life away from me. Other times, he doesn't do it to hurt me, but he'll mention Ally—his wife. I know he loves her, too, and I'm okay with that. It still doesn't stop me from trying to get more time with him. I want mine, too—like she gets hers.
And maybe I can give him a baby. He says he wants a baby girl. Ally doesn't want any more kids, though.
I would be more than willing to have a family with him.
He says he missed me after I told him about how lonely I felt this week without him. I pout, and he leans over the table to kiss me.
"I wish I could see you more. Maybe you can—" He raises his hand to cut me off.
"You know why I can't, Bella. Let's not do this right now." He sighs, looking down at his screen again, his fingers press down on the keys a little harder than before. His jaw is set, it is clear I've upset him. Instead, I just admire his beautiful face and wait for it to lose the scowl he gets when he reads certain emails. I refuse to think that expression is because of me.
We don't talk much after that. I let him work, so that he can give me the attention I need later. I'll wait for him.
We've been in this suite before; it's actually one of my favorites. It's on the nineteenth floor, and the view is…just magnificent.
Edward comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist as we take in the city below us. The sun will be setting soon, and I can't wait to make love to him in the orange glow that will come through the floor-to-ceiling windows.
I lean back and rest my head on his shoulder. I feel so complete with him. This is why I stay. The connection I feel to him is like none other. I worry I may never find it again if I let it go.
I love him.
"Remember the last time we were here?" he murmurs, his warm breath in my ear, sending shivers throughout my body.
"Mhmm" I turn around in his arms. "I also remember the first time we came here," I whisper, looking into his eyes. He leans down and captures my lips with his.
"That was a special night, baby. You became mine." He mumbles into my mouth. I bite his lip and suck it into my mouth, moaning softly.
This is where he told me all about his family—about his wife and kids. Still, after all that, I stayed because my heart had already been his. There was nothing he could say that would make me leave him. Well, if he had told me when I met him he was married, I probably would not have pursued him. But he waited two months…and I was already so far in, I could not imagine being without him.
I will always be his, so long as he will have me.
He pushes me back against the glass with his body; I can already feel him hard for me. I reach down and grab him, he groans, deep in his throat, into my neck. He's hard and thick in my hand.
I remember how he fills and stretches me; I can't contain myself. My clit tingles, as desire washes over me at the memory, and my hand massages him harder.
"I've been waiting too long to have you, Bella." He kisses and nibbles on my neck, his breathing is more ragged the longer I fondle him.
"Then take me. I'm yours," I breathe, stroking him through his slacks.
That ignites a fire in him, and he attacks my lips, forcing his tongue in my mouth. I kiss him back just as fiercely, my tongue tangling with his, tasting and loving it. I start to unbutton his shirt, and he follows my lead, unbuttoning mine.
My naked back hits the glass; my nipples are already hard—one in his hand, the other in his mouth. I throw my head back and arch my back as waves of pleasure move through my body and lead directly between my thighs. I can already feel myself so wet.
"You like that, baby? You like it when I suck on your tits?" He knows I like it, and he loves it when I moan like a whore. But I'm not just any whore, I'm his whore when he wants me to be.
My nipples are being deliciously tortured by his mouth.
He finally releases my breast and pulls my skirt up. My ass in a thong is in plain view to the city below us, but I'm too busy slutting it up to give a fuck. He slips his long fingers past my thong and they slide right in between my lips. I don't know how, but his long, slender fingers are always so cold…they feel so good against my warm pussy.
"Fuck. You're so wet." He groans, stroking my clit, eliciting more moans from me. I spread my legs wider so he can get to where I really want him before his fingers lose their chill.
"Inside." I urge him, panting. I fucking love those fingers- not as much as I love his cock, though. He grants my wish, and I feel myself stretch, the coolness adding to the pleasure.
"Yesss…that feels so good." I mewl. He smirks because he's the fucking man, and he knows it. I grab the back of his head and bring him down for a kiss. "Fuck me with your fingers and then fuck me with your cock." I bite down on his lip as he starts to pump his fingers, in and out.
I lose all coherent thought when his fingers are inside me—fucking me like this. I turn my head to the side, and that beautiful orange glow is washing over us. The city lights are becoming brighter, and the room is darkening—our bodies only lit by the glow. It is perfect. His fingers are perfect. He's perfect.
He takes me to the top fast; my orgasm hits me hard. I come on his fingers, crying out his name. It won't be my only one today, and for that, I'm thankful. Edward knows how to take care of me.
He presses his chest against mine, trapping me against the window again. We're both breathing hard; he's ready to get his. I know because his cock is stabbing me in the stomach a little painfully.
Edward quickly lifts me up, and I wrap my legs around him. He takes me to the bed and gently lays me down. He pulls my skirt and thong down easily. His eyes are hungry as they rake over my body. An intense heat runs through me, and I feel an urgency to feel him over and inside me. I want his heat, and the familiar pressure of his body crushing mine. I spread my legs, and he steps in between them.
I never even noticed when he got rid of his pants, but his cock sliding in tells me that he has. He waits for my body to get used to his size—I'm stretched almost painfully. But when he moves...my pussy is in heaven. I bite down on his shoulder, and enjoy the salty taste of his skin on my tongue.
He thrusts and pushes, long and deep.
Our eyes stay connected, I tell him everything I can't, and everything I want him to tell me with my eyes…and with every thrust I meet. I want him to know. After all this time, I just want him to know, and I want things to change. Maybe im not strong enough, because I feel like I'm gonna break. I want so much more with him. I keep looking into his eyes and desperately search for something that says that I belong here.
I am completely consumed by him—his body over me and inside me. His eyes are filled with lust, and yet I still search.
"You're mine, Bella." He growls in my ear, pushing harder, deeper. So much deeper. His words bring me comfort momentarily.
"Always." I moan. I want to be his, always, but can he be mine?
I bring my legs up higher, and he finds a new position hitting that special spot. I'm distracted by the intense pleasure I'm feeling, and suddenly, I don't care if he belongs to me or not. He's making me feel good, encouraging me to lose myself in ecstasy.
"You feel…" He grunts, pushing in and out faster. "So, so good...mmm…fuck." He speeds up his movements. Thrusting. "Are you gonna come for me again?"
I barely register his question. I'm swimming in a sea of pleasure.
"Yes, yes!" I hold on to his thigh as he slams into me over and over.
He suddenly slows down and completely stops, his cock still inside me.
"Turn around." He gently commands. I do what he says. He slips out of me, and I hate how empty I feel. "Rest on your forearms," he murmurs as he runs his cock up and down my pussy. I feel one of his hands gently caressing my back.
The punishing thrusts pick up again as soon as he's inside me. I can feel so much more of him this way. My stomach coils, and I'm ready to let go again.
He holds onto my hips as he pushes in. I reach under me and graze his balls with my fingernails as they slap against me.
"Fuck!" he moans out the word, the last syllable ending with a growl. I know that drives him crazy. "You're gonna make me come!"
"That's the point, baby. I want you to come inside me."
A few more thrust, and he's pushing me over the edge, making me completely lose myself in him. And I swear he makes me see God and all that is holy. The pure joy that I feel is like no other. I want to burst at the seams and scream. I do.
I tell him I love him.
I tell him I love him. I scream it at the top of my lungs. He pumps harder and faster, almost erratically.
And it is the most beautiful sound when he calls my name as he releases inside me. Gently, he lays over me, covering my back. I revel in the warmth of his body over mine.
He slowly rocks us, still calling my name, only softly now in my ear, "beautiful Bella, so beautiful." My heart swells at the adoration in his voice.
I make him feel this way.
In a perfect world, I would be his wife, and we would be making love like this every night. It doesn't matter how rough or gentle he is with me, what I always feel is love. Even when he fucks me against a wall, or the windows in this suite, there has to be more than just passion involved.
There just has to be.
We lay, wrapped up in each other's arms a little while later.
I know he heard me say I loved him, but he hasn't brought it up. I've never said it to him, and now that I did, I meant it with all my heart.
We've never said it to each other. I don't know how he feels exactly, and I suddenly feel a little foolish.
I've been having sex with this man for a year, yet I still don't know how he feels about me. Would he ever tell me the words I need to hear?
My heart will be shattered if he says he doesn't love me.
"What are you thinking about?" he whispers into my ear from behind me. How does he even know something is bothering me? I thought I had been lying here very still. "You're all tense, Bella." He massages my hip and kisses my bare shoulder.
I turn around to face him. He smiles gently at me, and my heart swells. I love him so much.
"I meant what I said." I break the eye contact because I'm a coward. I stare at his chest—so hard and smooth under my fingers. He sighs and pulls me closer to him. My cheek presses up against his hot skin.
"I know baby." And then…nothing.
He says nothing.
My heart aches for what I was expecting him to say.
I'm hurt and confused, even though I knew this was a possibility. I admit I might have leaned a little more to the idea he did love me, but…I just didn't prepare myself for the ache in my chest if he didn't.
He didn't say he doesn't love me…instead he says nothing, and that hurts much worse.
"Bella, don't cry, baby. You know my situation…" he trails off. Yeah, I know his situation; it still didn't stop me from loving him.
I take in a shaky breath.
"I know…but…" A sob escapes my mouth, and I bury my face in his chest. It's not fair. None of this is, and I have no one else to blame but myself. I hold onto him for dear life. I feel like I'm losing him, and I don't know how to stop it. It's hit me harder than I thought.
I get my shit together, even though I still have tears running down my face, and I pull away from him. My breathing is shaky, but I still make myself look at him.
"Bella…" he says softly. I shake my head and sit up to face away from him. I pull the sheet up to cover my body, and I look around for my clothes.
I can't be here anymore…this is not for me. Not after this reality check. All this time I have stupidly believed in a false reality…what else is here for me?
I find my skirt on the foot of the bed, and I quickly put it on.
"Wha…what are you doing? Are you leaving?" Edward asks incredulously. It pisses me off. What the fuck does he expect? I've stayed because we never really identified our relationship and, as long as there was a possibility of more, I would stay. Now I know I cannot stay. The dream I've had in my head has been shattered. I have nothing with him.
I ignore him and cross the room to find my bra and blouse. He gets off the bed, not even bothering to cover himself. Any other day, I would have loved that view, but it just reminds me of how fucking stupid I've been. Fucking a married man and believing he could love me.
He pulls my arm to face him when I pull on my bra. "You're gonna ignore me now, too?" The tears in my eyes don't even faze him. I have no idea what he's thinking, he just looks desperate…but for what?
"I…I just need to go, Edward." I pull my arm away from his grasp, brushing away the tears and willing myself not to cry anymore for him.
"Not like this, Bella." He pulls on his disheveled hair. "Come sit down." He tries to lead me to the living room. I'm hesitant, because I don't want to be here. I'm humiliated, and if he says sweet things to me, I'm afraid I will stay.
I love him.
And I have to fight against that.
"Come on, baby." He holds my hand and tries again. I let him lead me to the couch.
"This isn't gonna work out." It hurts me to say it, but for once in the time I've been with him, I need to do the right thing.
"Bella, don't say that. You…you don't mean that," he pleads, lifting my hands from my lap. He kisses my knuckles, and I feel like I'm going to be sick.
"You don't pay me, but…I'm basically your whore, Edward." I squeeze his hands hard with my own and pull them away. "You're married…like fucking married! And I'm so fucking stupid because I love you!" he sits there, not saying anything.
"That's the second time I've told you that and…nothing. You don't say anything." I say dejectedly.
"You're not a whore, baby." He whispers and tries to reach for me; I move back and shake my head.
"Then what the fuck am I?" That's one question I don't really want to know the answer to.
"You're my Bella. Why can't that be enough?"
"Because…I want more," I whisper. It feels like my heart is being squeezed, and I can't breathe. My vision becomes blurry, and my cheeks are wet again. I feel him pull my body to his; I'm too weak to fight him. I let him hold me just this once.
"Bella, I care about you. You're an amazing woman; everything about you is amazing. You have the ability to make my shittiest days so much better with your words and the way you care for me…and I know this is selfish but…I need you. I need you in my life. You've become my best friend…and my lover. I'm sorry I can't give you more. You deserve so much more, but I'm too fucking selfish to let you go." He kisses my hair and rubs my back as I cry. "It's not just about sex…being with you is like a breath of fresh air…and every week I eagerly wait until I can finally see you…and then…I can finally breathe. I don't know how else to explain it, baby. You mean everything to me."
I concentrate on his words. They are beautiful to me, but they don't mean anything. He's selfishly stringing me along, because he gets something out of me…but what about me? What do I get?
"You're wrong, Edward. I can't possibly mean everything to you if all we'll ever have is this hotel room." I sniffle and try to get it together again. I hate these stupid tears. "If you can't give me more, then I can't continue this…and I know you're not gonna leave her…" I look up at him for confirmation. His eyes are sad as he slowly shakes his head.
"I love my wife, Bella. I—I can't leave my family." His eyes tear up, and I have to look away. He has managed to crush my heart more than it already was. "But I can't leave you either…" he croaks.
I get off the couch with my broken heart and look down at him. "You're a selfish bastard," I spit. "You don't even deserve your family. I know I'm no better, but I'm making this right, I'm walking away." I turn around and look for the rest of my stuff.
I ignore Edward, sitting on the couch, looking like he just lost his puppy. He's a big fucking boy, he'll get over it, I tell myself.
It disgusts me I still feel like I should console him.
I roughly pull on my shoes and throw my hair in a ponytail. I search the whole suite for my purse, and I can't find the fucking thing.
"Your purse is in the closet." He says from the couch. I look up at him, and he has his head in his hands. He's not looking at me….he's just sitting there pulling on his hair.
I look around one last time and prepare myself to let it all go.
To let him go.
He pulls my arm back right before I walk out the door. "Please, Bella…" I shrug him off. It's over, and we both know it.
"Go home to your wife, Edward. Worship the ground she walks on, she's the mother of your children, and she loves you." I grab his hand and make him look at me in the eyes. "She doesn't deserve what we've done…and for that, I'm sorry." I kiss his hand and turn to walk out the door.
I leave him in that hotel room with all our memories. I truly hope he goes home to his family and finds what he's been missing; what he's been desperately trying to find with me. And I hope he will be happy, because I need to know I, too, will find the same kind of happiness.
I barely make it to the elevators, before I finally break down. Big, fat tears pour down my face, and I muffle my sobs with my coat.
9 weeks later…
I pull myself off my bathroom floor. This shit is getting ridiculous. I can barely keep any food in.
I don't bother to brush my teeth again; I crawl back into bed and try to sleep away all this confusion and pain I've been dealing with.
Two weeks of this, and I finally broke down last week and got a test…
A/N: Ummm...I'm a masochist. I'm sorry. Please let me know what you thought :)
I'm considering a second part to this, so hang tight.
Thank you all for reading.
p.s. ProjectTeamBeta is amazing, and I will never post another horrendous chapter again. Ever. I swear it!