Author's Note: This is just a "what-if" scenario I thought of out of the blue, and I had to get it down on paper.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ender's Game or Potter Puppet Pals. They belong to their respective creators.


Battle School is for Losers

Ender Wiggin walked down the hall of Battle School one day and started singing to himself.

I'm Ender Wiggin

Battle School is for losers

I'm totally awesome—

Just then, Ender was stopped by none other than Colonel Graff.

"Ender, I have been informed that you've missed geometry class for over five weeks," said Colonel Graff. "I have no choice but to ice you and send you home. I'm going to inform your—"

All Ender heard was "blah blah blah". 'I want tacos,' he thought.

"Ender Wiggin—" Ender heard Colonel Graff say. He tuned everything else out, thinking about tacos, until he snapped back to reality. "Do you understand the ramifications—OOF!"

Ender punched Colonel Graff in the gut, sending him flying into a wall and knocking him unconscious. Then he took out a saxophone he somehow brought to Battle School with him and started playing, disturbing everybody else's games and work. The only people who found Ender's antics that day funny were Petra, Alai, Dink, Bean, Hot Soup, and Crazy Tom.

Unfortunately for Ender, when Colonel Graff brought him back to Earth and told Ender's parents what their son had done at Battle School, not even Valentine found it funny.