Author's note: Apologies for long delay in updating everything. Here's a little Hallowe'en piece to keep you going!

Never Ever Tell by Lilachigh

This is a collection of all the times Buffy and Spike met that we never got to see or know about.

Season Seven:

"Look – just tell me why you did it."

"It was a joke, for god's sake!"

"No, it was a party game – a Hallowe'en party game for teenagers!"

Spike looked sulky. The screaming had died down a little, although sometimes a sudden piercing cry from upstairs showed that one of the guests had remembered what had happened again.

"I didn't choose the soddin' game, Slayer. You were out patrolling. I was trying to be helpful. To be festive."

Buffy rinsed out another wet cloth and patted the Potential who'd fainted. To be honest, she was annoyed that Spike's behaviour had upset them so much. They should have been used to such things by now. They were going to see far worse very soon.

"Next Hallowe'en – how about, so don't bother?"

Spike was about to comment that if The First had it's way, there wouldn't be another Hallowe'en, but stopped himself in time. "They wanted to play 'Operations', not me," the vampire continued self-righteously.

Buffy glared at him.

Anya asked, with interest, "What exactly were you playing, Spike? Is it a sex game? Xander and I often used to play doctors and nurses, but he wouldn't always wear the candy-striped uniform and so – "

Buffy broke in, unable to stand the pictures forming in her brain. "No, what happens is you turn out all the lights and someone pretends to be a surgeon and hands round things he has just taken out of a body and you guess what they are. It's all in the imagination. A piece of rubber for a tongue, a bowl of jello for brains, a sponge for lungs, a bone for – " She shot Spike a look that could have staked him where he sat when he lifted a suggestive eyebrow – "Well a bone! But you just pretend that they're real."

Anya shrugged. "So why all the screaming and fainting when I turned on the lights?"

Buffy glared at Spike again, daring him to laugh. "You're supposed to use a peeled grape and say it's an eyeball."

"I couldn't find any grapes," Spike broke in indignantly.

"There was no need to use a real demon's eye, though, was there? And if you did, you could have washed the blood off it first!"