Ennis stood on the mountain, his thoughts lost as he pondered his next move, there were two options, live or die. No. Scratch that. He was already dead on the inside, the option was to kill his physical body or let it wander the earth like a zombie.
"Jack…." thought Ennis closing his eyes and keeping the tears in. "you are something of an ass…leaving me here alone, you were the last person who I could go to."
"FUCKIN JACK TWIST IS TOO GOOD FOR US GOD DAMN LIVIN PEOPLE! WHAT? I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU TO STICK AROUND LONGER?" Ennis screamed loudly, his thoughts now echoing throughout Brokeback mountain. Ennis grabbed the hat on his head threw it on the ground. He shut his eyes real tight and pressed his hands to them, pushing the tears in, while letting out sighs of grief. His shoulders shook, and he slowly found himself gasping in sobs, not letting himself cry.
"Jack….Jack….Jack…." he whispered into the air, a certain pleading tone caught in there that he didn't want to let out, just in case Jack could hear him. Being vulnerable was not something that Ennis didn't like, whether he was alone or in a crowd, keeping to himself was a skill and a necessity.
Unless he was with Jack.
Jack was the only person he cried in front of, the only person who he would take down all his walls, bear his soul. However, he didn't even want Jack to know how much he needed him, especially since now it was impossible.
Ennis came back from his thoughts, collecting himself, and shrugging off the rest of the grief. He walked over to his hat, picked it up, dusted it off, and placed it back on his head. He got up on his horse, and rode away.
Ennis woke the next morning, the sun peeking through the window in his little house, waking him. He looked over at his clock, it read 8:20 a.m.
"Shit." he whispered, he had planned to wake up and start fixing up the house, it was his day off, and he had saved up enough money to get supplies. However, lying there he didn't want to do anything, so he stared at the ceiling. Suddenly, he heard a rickety car seemingly in the distance, he threw the covers off of himself, ran to the window.
As the rickety green truck passed by his house, he kicked himself. This wasn't the first time he had jumped at the sound of a run-down vehicle, and every time he realized it wasn't Jack, it could never be Jack, the hole in his heart got bigger.
He walked over to his closet, opened the door, like he always did after such events. At first he didn't dare look to his right, he couldn't look at it at first, it was another reminder of his absence. After dressing, just as he was about to close the door, he opened it wide again, and stared at the jacket, tucked under his shirt. He took the hanger off the hook, and walked over to his bed and sat down. He slowly took his shirt from around the jacket, and sat there, clutching Jack's jacket, bloodied sleeve and all.
"Jack…" he found himself calling in a whisper.
Without knowing why, for the first time, he took the jacket off of the hanger, and found himself slipping his arms into the sleeves. As he gave it a little whip to get it nicely fitted on his body, even though it was a little too small for him. Ennis closed his eyes, he didn't, he couldn't think of anything besides Jack.
"You son of a bitch…" he said with tears stinging his eyes.
Suddenly, Ennis let out a small gasp, keeping his eyes closed, his head now tilted towards the ceiling. Jack's faint scent on the jacket was stronger than it had been a few moment ago… and then…Ennis felt him…he felt Jack…his arms wrapped around him in a tight embrace. Ennis didn't dare open his eyes, he sat there, letting himself believe that Jack was hugging him, was holding him close. Ennis could almost hear Jack whispering in his ear "It's alright….It's alright….It's alright…" Ennis couldn't hold it in anymore, with his eyes still shut, he started to cry.
"It's so damn hard, Jack, it's so damn hard! I can't hardly stand it anymore! I miss you Jack! You son of a bitch!" Ennis cried out in breathes as he cried. "It's cause of you I am like this you know, it's always been because of you…you, Jack Fucking Twist…because of you that I can't be happy alone, can't be happy without you being next to me, no matter what my mind is on you, and I can't hardly stand it no more!"
Ennis stopped talking and just cried all the while, still feeling Jack holding him, smelling Jack's scent as if he were nuzzled right up against him, and hearing him still say "It's alright…"
"It's not alright Jack…it's not alright…" Ennis whispered, now placing his head in his hands, still crying.
Ennis opened his eyes startled from the loud bang, and just as quickly as he came, Jack left. Ennis got up and looked out his window, to see Junior parking Kurt's car in his driveway. Ennis quick took off the jacket, placed it and the shirt back on the hanger, and hung it back up.
Three knocks came at his door, and he quick spun around, tried to dry his face on his sleeve and answered it.
"Hey, daddy" said Alma Junior smiling up at her father. Ennis smiled down at his twenty-one year old daughter. Then he noticed she looked different, and he stared at her bulging stomach. His smile faded as he looked back at his daughter's eyes, who giggled in happiness.
"Well, come in come in, sit down!" Ennis said leading Junior into the house and grabbing her a chair. Junior laughed, and politely took a seat. Ennis went to the fridge, pulled out the whiskey bottle, poured himself and started to pour Alma one too, but she stopped him.
"Daddy, didn't ya know that drinking can hurt the baby?" Ennis looked over at his daughter with a questioning look on his face.
"Yes, I read it in a study in a magazine." Alma Jr. said with a certain hint of pride in her voice. Ennis sighed and grabbed her a glass of water. "Water ok for the baby?" Ennis asked mockingly as he offered her the glass, and Alma smiled at him, and took the glass from his hands.
Ennis sat down, and raised his glass, "To my baby girl's baby!" Their glasses clinked together, Ennis swallowed his shot in one gulp, as Junior took a sip of her water. Ennis leaned back in his chair.
"How far along are ya?" Ennis said gesturing to her stomach with the empty whiskey shot in his hand.
"Six months." Alma Junior said placing a hand over her stomach, smiling down at her little miracle. "Kurt was real happy when he found out" she said looking back at her Father who seemed to be in a trance staring at her stomach.
Ennis blinked a few times and looked up at her, "Sorry baby girl, I was just thinking of what it was like when your momma found out she was going to have you." Ennis smiled as he dazed off again…
"Ennis." said Alma a shaken smile on her face. Ennis got up and walked over to his wife, holding onto her shoulders, since she looked like she was about to collapse.
"Ennis." Alma said again looking into his eyes, this time he could see something there…happiness…pure happiness. "I'm pregnant." she stated. Ennis remembered taking a step back, and sitting down himself, then he started crying.
"I'm going to be a dad…" Ennis said, an apparently wide smile on his face could be seen through the tears of happiness.
Alma Junior sat there and patted her dad on his knee, "You cried?"
Ennis nodded, feeling tears stinging at the back of his eyes, "The day you were born, I cried harder, when you looked up at me I said to you 'Hey there Junior…I'm going to be your daddy.' and you just looked up at me, like you understood me." Ennis took his daughter's hand off his knee and clutched it between his two hands. He noticed how they weren't the same little ones from twenty-one years ago. He pressed her hand, in his, against his lips and gave it a little kiss, and tears started coming down his face.
"I'm so happy for you, Junior, so happy" Ennis said sincerely.
Junior got up as her Father let go of her hands, and hugged him. "Thanks daddy" she was also shedding a few tears. After holding onto the moment for a little, Ennis sniffed, and Alma let go.
Ennis coughed, and as they sat a little in silence, Alma Jr. broke the silence.
"This…this isn't the only reason I came up here dad…" she looked down at her hands, and was fiddling with them. Ennis watched her intently as she reached into her coat pocket and pulled out an envelope. Alma Jr. looked between her dad and the letter for a couple minutes, not handing it over.
"Dad…" she started but every time she would close up again and look back down at the letter in her hand. Ennis sighed, "Come on Alma, spit it out, what have you got there?" Alma looked up at him, then at the floor as she handed the envelope over to him. He stared at her with a look of confusion, then looked down at the envelope. His eyes were staring in disbelief as he looked at his name scribbled across the front of it, in an all too familiar style.
Ennis looked up at his daughter in shock and confusion. "What…what are you meaning by giving me this…when…where did you get this?" Ennis asked his daughter in pleading tone. Junior looked her father in his eyes, her own getting a little wet.
"One day, after your fishing trip, you left your clothing bag out, and well, I-I wanted to surprise you and wash your clothes, you remember that I washed them… and, well that there note…well it was in your shirt, I took it out, meaning to give it to ya, but…" Junior stopped stared down at her feet. Ennis kept staring at her, intensely.
"But what, Junior?"
"I-I was six daddy, and I thought it would be funny to hide it…"
Ennis found himself getting mad at his daughter, he clenched his teeth together to hold it back.
"I-I didn't mean for it to be so long to give it to you, I really did plan to give it to you later, but it got lost somehow, I thought I put it in my special box…but…well I had put it in with the baby clothes…and I didn't find them until momma brought them up to me to use." Her eyes now wet, and when she blinked a tear rolled its way down her cheek. She stared at her feet, her shoulders shaking from holding in the cry.
Ennis put his head in his hands, clenching his fists and teeth, letting out little angry grunts.
"I'm so sorry daddy…I'm so sorry" Junior said her voice shaken, and tears now falling repeatedly from her eyes. Ennis stared at his daughter, who was continuing to look at the floor. Ennis took one look out the window, glaring out into the sun, letting his thoughts drift away. Ennis let out a sigh, stood up, placed the note on the windowsill, and hugged his daughter close.
"It's alright baby girl…it's alright…" Ennis said in a soothing tone, as he stroked her hair. "It's alright…"
Alma Jr. looked up at her father, puffy red eyed, and looked hopelessly at him. "Daddy? you aren't mad?"
"No, I am rather upset…this is from Jack..." Ennis had to swallow the lump in his throat. "My fishing buddy…"
*Hey so this is my real first fan-fiction so please give me reviews and constructive critcism is always welcome ^_^ Try to get the rest up ASAP*