This Story takes place right after *On The Beach*

Disclaimer: All ER Characters belong to Warner Bros., Michael Crichton, and NBC

This is a Elizabeth/Carter/Kerry friendship story

After the funeral Elizabeth stars showing signs of depression and Kerry and Carter try to help her but will
they be able to?

Chapter 1: I Don't Want To Say Goodbye

Elizabeth sat on the sofa in her living room looking around at all the people Mark had touched. She dabbed her eyes with tissue. Her tears were non stop. She loved Mark. She loved him so much and now he was gone. He would never hold her , kiss her, or tell her loved her again. She glanced over at Rachel holding Ella on her lap. They would have to grow up with out their father. Rachel was almost 15 but Ella she was just a baby she would probably have no memory of her father.

Elizabeth reached for some more tissue. She spotted Doug and Carol walking toward her. Carol started crying as soon as she saw Elizabeth. Doug looked at her with sad eyes. "I'm so sorry Elizabeth" he whispered. "Mark was like a brother to me" She nodded as more tears filled her eyes. Carol sat down beside her. "Mark was very special he saved my life and Kate's life I loved him" she said softly as more tears filled her eyes.

Elizabeth couldn't take it any more "Stop it, just stop it" she said as she got up and ran to the kitchen. She was leaning over the sink sobbing when she heard a soft voice. "Elizabeth" she turned and was surprised to see Kerry standing there. "I know" she said through her tears "I'm so sorry ,I'll miss him, Are you okay Elizabeth" "I've heard it a million times" "I wish people would stop telling me that they're sorry" I wish people would stop asking me if I'm okay" More tears spilled from her eyes as she grabbed a coffee mug from the dish rack and slammed it into the sink. "Because I'm not okay, I'll never be okay again my husband just died" She looked right at Kerry. "How could he do this to me Kerry how could he leave me"

Kerry brushed away her own tears and stepped closer to her pulling her into a hug. Elizabeth cried into Kerry's shoulder. "I loved him so much, we were suppose to be together forever" Kerry sighed sadly tears filling her eyes too. "I know" she whispered "I know" "Sometimes life doesn't go the way we want it to but at least you got to know Mark and you got to love him even if was only for a short time." Elizabeth was about to say something when she heard a familiar song being played. She pulled away from Kerry and walked back into the living room.

She stood there looking around the room at all the faces of her and Mark's friends. Doug and Carol sat on the love seat. Doug was holding Carol as she cried. Susan sat nearby a steady stream of tears rolled down her cheeks. Carter stood by the fireplace holding a stethoscope in his hands. Jeanie and Reggie were sitting together. Reggie squeezed her hand gently letting her know he was there. Malucci sat alone. He knew people wouldn't be too happy to see him but he had liked Mark and he wanted to be there to say his final goodbyes. Abby sat with Luka her eyes red from crying. Anna was standing alone looking at some photos of Mark and his family that sat on the mantel. Peter sat with Cleo her head resting on his shoulder. Robert, Donald and Dr. Swift were engaged in some sort of conversation. Jing Mei stood staring out the window and Gallant and Maggie were talking with several of the nurses.

Elizabeth noticed Rachel near the stereo holding Ella. Singing softly to her as she gently rocked her. Elizabeth couldn't take it anymore. She looked at Rachel. "Turn it off" she said as tears slid down her cheeks. Rachel looked at her tears filling her eyes. "Elizabeth it's daddy's lullaby I was playing it for Ella" Elizabeth glared at her "I don't care I..I don't want to hear it...just...just turn it off" By now everyone was looking at her and Rachel. Rachel was worried about Elizabeth. She gently touched her arm. "Elizabeth I think you need..." Elizabeth interrupted her " I don't need anything Rachel the only thing I ever needed is gone" She cried as she ran up the stairs in tears.

Elizabeth made her way to her bedroom. She threw herself on the bed. She sobbed into her pillow for what seemed like hours. She sat up and noticed some of Mark's medication still sitting on the nightstand. She reached over and grabbed the bottle. She opened it and poured the pills into her hand. She looked at their wedding picture sitting on the nightstand. Fresh tears ran down her cheeks as she looked from the picture to the pills sitting in her hand.

Carter watched Elizabeth run upstairs. He knew the signs of depression all too well. After the stabbing and Lucy's death he had his own battle with depression. He became addicted to pain killers and at times he even had thoughts of suicide. Thankfully he had friends like Peter, Mark, and Kerry. They'd helped him get through some of the most difficult times of his life. They were his true friends. He looked up at the empty stairs. Elizabeth needed a true friend right now. He made his way upstairs. He walked to Elizabeth's room.

Elizabeth had gotten up and went to the bathroom. She now sat on the bed with a glass of water and the handful of pills. She was startled by a knock on the door. "Elizabeth its Carter can I come in" Elizabeth sat there silently thinking maybe if she didn't answer he'd go away. Carter got worried when she didn't answer. He opened the door and waked in to see Elizabeth sitting there with the water and the pills.

He walked over to her. "Elizabeth its going to be okay, you don't need to do this" he whispered. She looked at him her eyes filled with tears again. "My mind is made up Carter I'll be okay I'll be with Mark" she said softly. She started to bring the pills up to her mouth.

Will Carter be able to stop Elizabeth from taking the pills.....Find Out In.....Chapter 2:Thank You.......Coming Soon!!!