AN: I can't believe I finally wrote this. It's crazy. I started writing the sequel months ago when Facebook Friends ended but I could just never get through the first chapter. Something about it seemed off to me and then I suffered from complete writer's block and I just couldn't finish it. Then a few weeks ago this one just came to me in bits and pieces as scenes in a dream. I didn't have time to write it but then the other day I couldn't get it out of my head and this just flowed out. It definitely wasn't how I intended to start this story, but I think it works and I'm pretty sure you'll hate me for it. I went back and re-read Facebook Friends and man I'm pretty sure this is not how you all thought this one would go but I hope you like it…look at the end for another author's note. Thanks everyone for being so patient.
You and I
As I stepped off the elevator and headed down the familiar path, I slowed my steps. I hadn't really seen Logan except in passing for a few days now. We were both extremely busy with work and I was also busy with planning our wedding. This time without Logan had left me with way too many thoughts. Everything in our lives felt like they were spinning out of control….nothing at the moment was as we planned, in fact it was the complete opposite. I didn't know what to do, I just wanted everything to go back to the way they were.
What I really needed to do was talk to Logan. He was my center. The rational one in our relationship but lately it seemed like we were just in two different places mainly due to our work schedules but it was starting to concern me. I missed him. I missed us. Ugh.
I sighed and pushed opened the door and quietly walked into his office and found him with his head leaning against his hand and his eyes glued to the computer screen looking more tired and worn down than usual. He looked up at me and I could see the dark circles under his eyes. A small smile formed on his lips but it didn't quite reach his eyes which was disappointing. He seemed to take in my attire before glancing at the clock on the wall behind me and frowned.
"Oh crap, Rory I'm so sorry I completely lost track of the time going over these latest contracts for the restructure. I completely meant to head over to Stars Hallow but…"
I quickly put my hand up and he stops rambling looking at me expectantly. "It's ok don't worry about it, I understand." I say smiling walking further into his office and place my bags on one of the guest chairs and he stands up and walks around his desk greeting me with a small kiss. I wrap my arms around him breathing in his familiar scent before pulling away, rubbing his back slightly.
"I know and you are amazing for being so understanding but I know how important this was to you, to Jack. I can't believe I missed his birthday. He must hate me. I can't believe I wasn't there… again." he says and I can see the sincerity in his eyes as he rubs them. "How was it?"
"It was fun, there were bouncy houses, lots of food, music, cake…you know a Lorelei birthday party extravaganza…completely over the top but fun and don't worry Jack doesn't hate you. He could never hate you, you're his cool big brother Logan who buys him all of the coolest toys." I point out before cupping his tired face with my hands. "You look so tired Logan. You need to rest, some sleep." I say and he nods his head in agreement. "I uh brought you a burger from Lukes." I say pointing to the brown paper bag I had placed on his desk and he smiles.
"Thanks I don't think I've eaten since lunch, maybe even breakfast." he says grabbing the bag from my other hand, pulling out the burger and unwrapping it quickly before digging right into it. I watched him eat and after awhile he looks up at me sheepishly. "Sorry, I don't mean to ignore you, I guess I didn't realize how hungry I was."
"No problem I figured as much. You uh tend to forget to eat when you're in the trenches." I said before moving to his side and leaning against his desk, "So your mom was there, at the party. She said it was to support her future in-laws or something." I say and he rolls his eyes. I bite my lip and grab a binder clip on the desk and play with it in my hands nervously. "She uh asked me when I was planning on sending out the invitations for the wedding since its in 6 weeks."
"Those haven't gone out yet?" he said looking at me surprised.
"Uh no…I…I….Logan…" I said gazing into his warm familiar brown eyes suddenly feeling very unsure and I couldn't keep his gaze and I looked away.
"Rory what's going on, why haven't you sent out the invitations for the wedding? I those were ready to go weeks ago." he said grabbing my hand and as I looked up at his face I could see the worry there.
"They were… are. It's just…well, Logan, you know how much I love you, how much I have always loved you." I say looking into his eyes. "But everything has changed these last few months since you took over for your dad. I know it's not your fault but we're exactly where we said we would never be Logan. I think maybe we should hold off for now."
"Wait so…so what are you saying Rory, do you not want to get married anymore?"
"I…yes…but I…I don't know." I stutter looking to the floor.
He quickly lets go of my hand, stands and runs his hand through his hair before staring to pace. I stood there not moving, only my eyes followed him. He looked at me then shook his head and walked over to his bar and poured himself a glass of scotch before downing it one gulp and pouring another one repeating the process.
"Let's just back up a minute Ace and let me understand this. I know things have been hard lately, that I've been working more than ever, but we knew that when my dad…we knew it wasn't going to be easy and I thought you were ok with that."
"I was. I am." I say defensively.
"Ok then you know I have to fix some of the deals my dad did when he wasn't lucid and just taking over everything has been an adjustment with the companies but it won't always be like this Rory."
"I know and you know how much I support you. How proud I am of all of the work you are doing, keeping your family's company together but I..." I said walking back up to him. "When we got back together, when we got engaged we always talked about how you were never going to completely take over HPG, that you would stay with HMV mostly but now here you are running the entire empire. I don't blame you for that because I know that the situation was completely out of your hands but can you honestly tell me that it won't be like this forever."
"I love you Logan. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I do. I can't imagine being anyone else's wife, but right now…" I said feeling tears come to my eyes as I near him, "Right now just isn't the right time."
"So what we postpone the wedding for awhile?"
I opened my mouth to say a yes but nothing comes out. "I…I…"
He looks at me and understanding seems to dawn on him. "You don't want to just postpone the wedding do you, you don't want to get married at all." he says quietly.
"Do you want to break up?"
"No of course not Logan, how could you think that? I just don't think we should be thinking about getting married right now." I spit out trying to get him to understand but not finding the words that I had rehearsed in my head earlier. Everything was going too fast. How had we gotten to talking about breaking up?
"If you don't think we should get married then you don't think we should be together." He said raising his voice.
"No that's not what I said at all. Don't put words in my mouth Logan." I say feeling myself getting angry. Everything was going wrong. "I just think we shouldn't get married right now."
"So what do you want to do Rory, we postpone the wedding indefinitely until things settle down. That could be months, years even and then what in the meantime we just stay engaged…waiting."
"Would that so bad? We'd still be together. Partners just like always." I say raising my hands up.
He sighed loudly and ran his hands through his hair before looking up at me again. "Why does it feel like we're never moving forward, that we're just stuck in the same place?"
I looked at him and felt a sense of déjà vu. This was starting to feel very much like my college graduation all over again. "And why does it feel like with you we always have to be going somewhere. I'm happy with you Logan. Why can't we just be together and let that be enough."
"Let that be enough? Do you hear yourself Rory?" he said pouring himself another drink. "I asked you to marry me and you said yes. You said you wanted to be my wife. We've been making plans for months to get married and now you're telling me you don't want to get married anymore. You've completely blindsided me here Ace, I thought we were happy. I thought we were on the same page and then you come in here saying you want to postpone the wedding, but in fact you don't want to get married. We've been building this life together Rory, so I don't know what you want me to say here."
"We do have a life together and whether we get married or not we will still have that life." I try to reason.
"I'm just trying not go backwards again." he says looking pointedly at me.
"We're not going backwards Logan, we're just staying as we are for now until things settle down." I explain.
He doesn't say anything for a moment and seems to think about it before looking back at me. "And what happens when things do settle down but it doesn't look that much different from how things are right now, will you be ready to marry me then?" He asks and I'm silent for a moment unsure of what to say but my silence seems to give him his answer. "You may say we're not moving backwards Rory, but you don't seem to want to move forward either."
"That's not true Logan."
"Isn't it?" he yells out and I'm slightly taken about by the angry fire I see in his eyes, "I'm the head of two major corporations Rory. I know this wasn't in the original plan, but we both knew that realistically I was probably going to take over HPG someday and it was probably going to look a whole lot like this. So don't full yourself into thinking that once the dust settles and I get everything back together again things will just automatically go back to normal. Don't use that as an excuse for coming in here and saying you want to postpone, cancel, whatever the hell you want to call it, just say it Rory you don't want to marry me. Just admit it Rory you want out."
I felt like I was falling. His words, his anger, his sadness made me reel. I should have been expecting it but I wasn't. I should have been expecting it because he knew me better than anyone but this wasn't what I wanted. This was the last thing I wanted.
"Logan I…" I started to stay but unsure of how to respond. "I want to marry you I do I just…"
"If you want to marry me then let's get married right now Ace. Let's get on the jet right now and fly to Vegas or Hawaii, Paris, pick anywhere in the world you want. Let's just get married. That's what you've been telling me the entire time we've been planning this wedding, is that you just want to get married, well then let's do it." he said standing in front of me with excitement and hope in his eyes.
"I…I…Logan…I…" I wanted to fall into his arms and just say yes, but for the life of me I couldn't say anything and he was right. That's exactly what I had been saying every time Shira and my grandmother called me in to look at another floral arrangement or pick out linens and silverware. I always said I just wanted to be his wife and he always laughed and said that he wanted nothing more than to be my husband right there and then but we would never hear the end of it from his mother and my grandmother and forever was a long time to be nagged by those two, but at that moment I couldn't find the words to just say yes.
"That's what I thought." he said shaking his head sadly picking up a paper clip on his desk and playing with it in his hand.
"Logan…no I love you so much. I want to marry you its just right now with everything with HPG and HMV up in the air I don't…"
"Stop trying to make excuses Rory. This has always been my life, you knew that coming in, you've known it the entire time." he said with sadness in his eyes. "I thought this time was different but I guess not. You're still afraid to move forward and I get it, I get why you're scared but I don't know what you want me to say Rory because I'm ready. I've been ready for a long time. I'm ready to be your husband and I don't want to wait anymore. Our wedding date is six weeks away so I'm asking you to marry me, to be my wife. Let's stop running Ace, I love you and I want to be with you. I know everything is crazy right now but I know that we can get through it. We've been through so much already we can get through this. I promise you we will." he says smiling with so much hope in his eyes. "What do you say Ace, marry me."
I look at him and smile slightly feeling the tears roll down my face. This man, Logan Huntzberger knows me so well. He is everything I want and he loves me so much.
"Logan CNN offered me my own show." I say and I watch as his face falls.
"Oh." he says and he turns his back away from me. I grab his arm lightly to get him to look at me and he shakes me away.
"I'm so stupid, I should have known the minute you started talking about postponing the wedding it had nothing to do with how much I have been working but with you and your future alone."
"No that's not it, our future together Logan, that's all there is." I plead, "Our future."
"Our future? I'm asking you to marry me and you tell me that CNN offered to give you your damn show. You couldn't give me an answer without laying that one on me." he spits out with fire in his eyes. "God Rory do you even care about us, about me or is all you see is your career?"
"Logan that's not fair or true."
"I didn't mean to tell you like that."
"Ok then so how were you going to tell me? This is the future we have together that we're talking about here right. You don't want to get married and you have a job offer with CNN so I'm just trying to figure out where I fit into this life you've created for us here Rory!"
"Logan I know you're mad right now but it's not like that. I want to marry you, I just don't think we should do it right now and the offer from CNN doesn't matter." I try desperately to explain not even understanding myself how things got to this point.
"Of course it matters Rory. You couldn't tell me if you wanted to marry me or not, but instead you told me that you got an offer from CNN but I guess if I'm really looking at it that's my answer right there isn't it." He says looking at me accusingly. "Just admit that you don't want to get married anymore and I'm guessing CNN offered you your dream right, the ability to go overseas to cover the latest story. Looks like you get the dream career after all just at my expense and at the expense of our future."
"Don't Rory. Don't try to come up with some kind of excuse because its clear that you may love me but you're still too scared to get married and make that commitment especially when you have a wide open future in front of you with the perfect career." Logan said. He stopped then shook his head and looked up at me sadly. "I can't do this anymore."
"What…no…no. Logan no it's not like that. I love you. I want to marry you." I say grabbing his arms with tears streaming down my face.
He pries my fingers off his arms and I see him glance at the ring he gave me just a few months ago before kissing my forehead. "I'm sorry Rory I can't."
I stand there completely shell shocked unable to move as he walks out of his office. I hear the ding of the elevator and then silence. My knees finally give out and I fall to the floor in one giant heap. Tears are streaming down my face but I can't think, I can't breathe. What just happened? What did I do?
AN: I know you all hate me now right? Ugh sorry…but because this is the prologue, starting in Chapter 1, I will be going back to a few months after the ending of Facebook Friends and we can see how everything got to this point in the Prologue. Please be patient with me I don't have very much written yet. This may come out slow but I felt like since I had this chapter done I owed it to all of you to get this out since you've been waiting forever.
Thanks and please review – I really want to know what you all think.
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