Mother Knows Best

Author: Bunni

Disclaimer:*Chibi-Bra yawns and holds sign tiredly that says, "Why are you even bothering reading this? I don't own the anime, Damn it all!"*

Summary: Goku sings, Piccolo vainly tries not to listen (while both try to get B and V together), Veggie's mommy tries to matchmake B 'n' V, V has to hook up with B and not look funny while doing it, and B is caught in it all, having no clue whatsoever. Also includes Krillain moments.

Shout out to:

Faith in a Bad Guy: O.o;; I say the same thing, except it's for reviews. ^______^ j/k

aqua-illusion: You did? *sweatdrop* Well that makes one person who supports Goku's song lyric career.

Goku:*big grin and he gives the people who support a thumbs up* *clears throat* *Jamaican accent* Ah, Thank ya pretty lady, 'cause ya know it works, when you butter me up and make me not look a dork *insert sweatdrop by listeners here* so now I'm here, bringing you good cheer, mon. So come on and review again!

Bunni:*hesitantly claps*..that was..interesting, Goku.

Goku: ^_^ I can do another.

Everyone: NO!

Goku: O.o;;

Bunni: What everyone means to say is, "There is not enough time for another jingle, but wait till later, okay?

Goku:...okay! *cheerfully hums Jamaican song*

Bunni: the horror..o.o;;

Sue: LOL! You don't say *big grin* well even though that woman you know is probably related to Roshi (curse the cooking *holds her stomach* I should have never ate that cupcake of his! the arms were a dead give away!) I loved your review @_@ it made me laugh, hehe, and there is more to come to this story. *evil giggle* I am so bad.. *goes off to write more random craziness*

Squirrel: Piccolo shall be your shield.. he's just a little.. eccentric right now. Yeah! That's the word! Eccentric!

Piccolo:*rocks himself back and forth while clutching his knees to his chest* The horror.. the horror..

Bunni:*falls over anime style and sweatdrops* Aww.. it wasn't that bad was it?!

Piccolo:*still rocking back and forth* THE HORROR!


TigerQueen: Oh believe me, Vegeta's gonna make a total fool of himself, as long as with other people. *sniggers*

LaVon: Yes, more, more silliness! *lightening crackles around her as she laughs diabolically* MORE! *is hit by lightening bolt and is burnt to a black crisp*.. *blows out a puff of smoke*..ow...

Mother Knows Best
Chapter Six
Missions, Costumes, and Lemons!

Vegeta paced in his bedroom. Two hours had passed by, now 6:34 A.M., and he still had no idea what to do in his predicament. On one hand, he should obey his mother and father, but-but.. He trailed off in thought.

It wasn't as if the Saiyajin no Ouji didn't know how to commence Saiyajinn Courtship. Quite the contrary actually, Nappa and Radditz had both given him an oral and written test along with handbook on the situation.


He was barely fourteen and going through puberty when Nappa and Raditz decided to give him the 'talk'. (AN: The 'Talk' is dreaded by every parent in every dimension..*sniggers evily*)

"Saiyajin no Ouji. I think we need to have a talk." Raditz said seriously after one day of purging. They were on the planet, Mohak, a place where big human-like creatures with mohawks and bad odor reigned (not for long anyway) and most of the race was extinct by the day's set.

Vegeta raised an eyebrow, and crossed his arms, acting as if he were taller than Raditz. "What?" He snapped. Nappa and Raditz looked at eachother tensely and looked nervous.

"Weeellll.." Nappa started as he shifted one foot to another. Radditz twidled his fingers, and looked at the floor, seemingly interested with a dent that strangely resembled a turtle.

"Well?! Out with it or I'll blast you into oblivion!" Vegeta growled, lifting his finger as an emphasis. Both gulped, and Raditz said quickly, "It'stimetotalkaboutthefactsoflife, YourMajesty!"

"What?" Vegeta's eyebrow quirked even higher with that was possible. Nappa stepped up.

"What he means, sire, it's time for the... talk.." He did a little move of his head at the word 'talk'. Vegeta looked a little confused, as much as he would let himself show.

"Nappa, what do you mean by 'talk'?.."

"I mean, "THE TALK", Prince Vegeta. You're going through changes, and they are.. well special in their own... way... thing.. yeah..." Nappa struggled around the words. Raditz was still looking at the floor, for he was so captivated with the turtle dent.


"Yes. Changes. *awkward silence* Damn it! Radditz, you do this! I'm going to watch the cartoons!" Nappa made a move to go, but was stopped when Raditz put his hand on the elite's shoulder.

"No, I think it's better if we do this together!"

"What? No! You do it!"

"Listen, I just want BOTH of us to be a part of the Prince's life. It's really important that we do this TOGETHER."

(AN: Imagine a husband and wife arguing with their kid in front of them; Raditz: Wife, Nappa: Husband, and Vegeta:The kid going through puberty..)

"Listen, His Majesty can go fine with only one gaurdian doing this. You do it."

"No, we do it together."

"No, you do it, by yourself."

"No, we do it together!"






"ENOUGH! JUST BE OUT WITH IT OR YOU'LL BOTH SPEND A WEEK IN THE REJUVENATION TANK!" Vegeta roared, his head getting three times as big. Both Saiyajins 'eep'ed before him and stopped arguing at once.

"Prince Vegeta, you may have to brace yourself.." Raditz warned. Vegeta snorted but braced himself secretively.

-One Hour Later-

Vegeta's eyebrows twitched upwards and both Nappa and Raditz sat down the opposite of him, watching him carefully.

"So.. what you're saying is that-"

"Yup.." Raditz nodded.

"And that the-"

"Uh huh.." Nappa grunted.

Vegeta smirked. " Now I see.. So how do you commence mating again?"

Nappa got up and crawled on his fours, his knuckles on the floor of their ship and legs crouching.

Raditz decided to narrate Nappa's movements. "First you get on an all fours, be sure to have the right movements, as to have different ones might confuse your possible-mate. Remember you only do this if your absolutely, postively, extra-ordinary sure that the female is good enough to be your mate, or if she's good in bed. Either one, you have to do this." Nappa then started bouncing all over the room on all fours, screeching and howling, then beat his chest, then did it all over again. He paused to throw leaves (they gathered them earlier) all around, and went on bouncing and making monkey/ape sounds.

"Why is he throwing leaves and making those noises?" Vegeta asked, sweatdropping.

"That's how we usually commence mating, sire."

"Oh.. why didn't I see it before?"

"It's usually in private."

"Uh huh.." Vegeta nodded, but he thought it looked a little out of the ordinary. Then shrugged. If his father did it, so could he.

"After we do this, we give the female a chance to do the same, then if she accepts, the male hunts her and the first part of the Mating Ritual is completed."


"Yes, hunt. She has to run, the male chases and tries to catch her. If he does catch her, the second part is completed."

"What's the third part?"

"The actual mating." Raditz explained, as Nappa stood upright, dusting himself of the leaves. A rogue leaf had floated downwards and lay comfortably on the top of Vegeta's flame-like hair. Vegeta didn't notice; but Raditz and Nappa did. Vegeta went on talking.

"Hn.. so what does this dance look like?" Nappa and Raditz were zoned in on the leaf, and didn't hear Vegeta. Vegeta quirked up an eyebrow, and tried again.

"So what does this dance look like?" Still no answer. Vegeta's vein in his forehead burst out because he wasn't used to being ignored.

"DAMN IT! ANSWER ME!" The yell startled both of the lackeys and they scrambled around.

"Huh? What? Is there a fire?" Raditz yelled as he jogged around looking for any flames.

"Where's the fire?" Nappa yelled as he got out the bucket of cold water. Raditz ran around and took the fire-extinguisher and collided with eachother, making the bucket of cold water drop on Vegeta's head, making the hair fall down instantly. The fire-extinguisher blew up and it's foamy contents spilled all over the room, mostly on Vegeta. The Saiyajin no Ouji was unmoving, his eyes closed, slightly shaking. The leaf that was on his head fell gently to the floor into a knee-high puddle of foam and water.

Vegeta opened his eyes at his quivering companions, and spoke one word. "Run."

And that's what they did, almost got caught together in the door because they tried to go through it at the same time. Nappa shoved Raditz out of the way and raced out, with Raditz yelling his butt off, not far behind. Vegeta calmly walked out of the spaceship, closed the door, then powered up, jogging after them, still foamy and wet.

"AAAAAHHH!!!" They both screamed. Vegeta merely growled.

-End Flashback-

Vegeta smirked. Ah, fond memories.. Nappa and Raditz had spent about three days in the RT (Rejuvenation Tank), and after that they continued on with the Mating Ritual lessons. It was all complicated and made the younger Vegeta roll his eyes more than once. Like he was ever going to get a mate.

Now here he was, pacing ten years later, nervous as heck. Vegeta took out a small 6" by 4" inch black book that said, "All The Questions You Were Afraid To Ask About Saiyajin Mating and Mating Rituals" in white print as it was crammed on the small cover. Vegeta neatly went to the chapter with "When Your Future Mate Isn't Saiyajin".


Now back to our favorite blue-haired genius. She was in her lab, wearing boyshorts and a white t-shirt with a cartoon monkey swinging from a branch with it's tail and with a bannana in it's hand on the front of the tee, and pink 'n' fuzzy slippers. Wearing that T-shirt always reminded her of Vegeta, strangely. ^^;; Beside her was an empty cup of coffee, but she was too busy to notice that little difference.

Bulma blinked tiredly as she looked at the newest invention that would put CC on the map. It was an "Info-watch". A watch that had the time, a minature television screen so you could watch anything: news, cartoons, movies, you name it., was waterproof, fireproof, and now tropical-storm-proof, you could talk to your friends who also had the special watch, not to mention check your email and had a schedule organizer also. All she had to do was screw in this last sprocket, and connect the blue wire to the yellow and she was done.

Wait.. was it the blue wire to the yellow, or blue wire to the green? Or was it blue to blue and not blue to green or then again it could be blue to yellow? Bulma groaned. Or was it that the blue wire was to be left alone and the other wires had to be connected with each other?

'NOO!! Damn you Vegeta! Damn you Jaeb! Damn you all!' Bulma growled as she pounded her hand unto the table, and her eyes widened at the crack. She looked under her hand and there was the brand-new prototype "Info Watch", smashed to little peices, while her hand was unharmed. Bulma felt herself get up and looked at a blank wall, then she laughed hysterically.

"This is just the best day of my life!" Bulma laughed more and looked up the ceiling. "Kami! I love you so much that I'm starting to hate you!" Then her laughs turned into tears as she crumbled to the floor, sobbing. "NO! You know how hard I worked on that invention? It's not fair! It's not fair that Vegeta seduced me early in the morning, or that I forgot my own birthday, or that there's a woman haunting me in my dreams to pair me up with Vegeta, or that I'm still all hot and bothered because of Vegeta, or that I think I'm attracted to Vegeta, or that my invention died at my hands! It's just not fair!!"

After a few minutes of crying, she got up, and set a determined face and sat down looking at her smashed invention. "No. Vegeta. Mark my words. I shall be strong and resist your Godly charms! MARK MY WORDS!" She shook a fist in the air, then stared at the "Info Watch" forlornly, and blinked heavily.

"Man.. I'm pooped.." She held her forehead slightly.

Her head swimming, her sight blurry, Bulma groaned again as she hit her head ceremoniously against the table, then let her forehead lay there among the blueprints and design plans.

A few minutes later, snoring was heard.


Piccolo drank a tall glass of warm water, and set it down. Gohan, Goku, and Chichi (well she was sort of mad at him right now..) stared at him. Piccolo coughed a little.

"Sorry about my earlier behavior. I don't know what exactly happened. It was all a big blur to me." Gohan grinned, as well as Goku, both having identical grins. Chichi sighed heavily.

"It's ok, Piccolo." Gohan comforted as he ate the last piece of eggs. Goku made a move for it, but alas, Gohan was quicker. He shoved it down his throat, and Goku whimpered, and looked like he was going to cry, but seeing a donut on the side that Gohan missed, he brightened and downed it before you could say, "MiB".

"Just remember.. it's MY Spatula of Silvery Impending Doom, doom, doom, doom." Chichi made a perfect imitation of an echo as she hugged the spatula to her chest. Everyone except Goku sweatdropped.

"Okay Chi! It's your Spatula of Impending Silvery Doom, doom, doom, doom." Goku nodded as he copied Chichi. Chichi smiled and went inside, humming a tune as she washed the dishes and set aside her spatula where she could see it, just in case Piccolo made a move to take it.

Piccolo shook his head. The Sons were weird..

"Gohan!" Chichi called from her place at the sink. Gohan snapped his head up and looked questioningly, "Time to study!" Gohan looked like he was going to protest but remembered what happened with Piccolo, and sighed heavily, and trudged upstairs.

"Well, it's time to get to it." Goku said excitedly as he went down the hall to the closet. Piccolo followed him, still feeling embarassed about his earlier behavior. 'This family has a weird effect on me..' Piccolo concluded.

Goku was humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song. "Now, Piccolo, if you choose to accept this mission, the-"

"Baka! Didn't we do this before we left Baba's?"

Goku blinked and rubbed the back of his head as he thought.

"Oh yeah..."


Baba went away to the other dimension or wherever the heck she goes when she decides to leave (-.-;;), as Piccolo and Goku went off to left, but Goku had other plans. He had seen this a million times in Mission Impossible.

"Ok, Piccolo, before we go, I must do something."

"...." Piccolo didn't say anything as he tried to control his violent eye-twitching.

"Ahem..*deeper, more wiser voice* Piccolo, if you choose to accept this mission, there shall be great trials, in which you shall be risking your life for the greater cause so that-"

"Whatever, Goku." Piccolo rolled his eyes. "I accept this mission, blah blah blah blah yadda yadda! Who gives a damn!? Just give me my costume, let me make a fool out of myself trying to get Bulma and Vegeta together."

Goku blinked before sighing heavily. "You win... Let's go!"

Piccolo had thought this was a moment of peace, perhaps prosperity would reign after this, but no. This was not meant to be for our favorite green Namek.

"A wimbo-wai, a wimbo-wai. Oh-in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the Saiyajin sleeps tonight. Oh, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the Saiyajin sleeps tonight- Sing with me Piccolo!"

Piccolo groaned as they took off. He really didn't deserve this you know.

-End Flashback-

" I remember! didn't sing with me.."

Piccolo gritted his teeth. "Just. Get. The. Costumes. Goku."

"'Kay, Pickle-boy!"

Piccolo massaged his temples. 'I do not want to kill Goku. I do not want to strangle him in his sleep. I do not want to accidentally blast him. I do not want to hurt him and have the pleasure of never hearing his voice haunting me ever again..'


Jaeb paced back and forth, much like Vegeta had. Her mind was on the same thing. How was her baby boy going to be matched up?

'Hmm... this is going to be a rather tough one. Even The Elite Celus (Celery! ^_~) and First-class Peia (Pea! ^-^) weren't as difficult as this one.' Jaeb thought as she stopped and felt around for her son and Bulma's ki.

Bulma's ki went erratic for a brief minute before relaxing, and her son, well he was rather nervous the way his ki went going up and down, up and down, up and down, so up and down, up and- AH! She stopped that train of thought. It was getting on her nerves.. -_-..

'Let's see.. Bulma is asleep or so it seems.. Vegeta had the talk with his father.. So he's nervous..' She gave a small smirk at that. It hadn't been easy, but she finally convinced the people at HFIL to let King Vegeta speak to his son for the uh.. 'talk'.

'Now that my dear Veggie has done his part, I shall do mine.. but what about the side-effects?' Mentally she waged a war. If she were to continue on with plan B, it might leave temperary (or not) side-effects on both of them., and they might not be such good effects either. Jaeb sighed heavily. It was too late. She got into this matchmaking and she swore by all her power she would get those two together.

Even if it was the last thing she did.. which she couldn't do, 'cause she was dead, so there was no risk. ^__^ Jaeb smirked. 'Problem solved.'

Setting forth her task, she concentrated hard.


Krillain strolled around aimlessly, sighing heavily. After a big breakfast at the Soki Diner (A very good diner to eat at, yet sort of pricy) he felt at his empty wallet crying out to him, "Feed me! Feed me!" in its' nasally annoying voice. Krillin groaned. He hated being broke.

Again sighing he decided to walk around some more before going back to his training, O.o;; perhaps even *gasp* look for a job. That was until he spotted a slot machine, and looking down at the small zenni dollar bill, he shrugged. It wasn't as if he was going to win; might as well try.

He put in the dollar zenni in the machine and pulled the lever, and waited for a minute, before getting impatient. It finally stopped and he groaned. Lemons..

Krillain was about to move on when he felt a tap on his shoulder; he turned around and faced a man with a light mustache and dark hair with grey eyes.

"Excuse me, sir?"

Krillain blinked at the man with a mustache.

"Yes?" Before Krillain knew it there was a beeping noise and lights going on and off all around him, and playgirls dressed as bunnies came out with a large check.

"You have just won a million zenni!!!" Krillain's jaw dropped to the floor, as he numbly became aware that the playgirls were massaging his head, cooing at him as if he were the cutest thing since Lil' Romeo. Confetti and streamers were strewn around as a crowd became attracted to all the noise.

All Krillain could think was.." don't think I won't be broke for a while..."


LOL! Thought there actually was a lemon huh? *pokes everyone* Hehe, well their isn't. I appreciated everyone's reviews, but the next chapter might take real long to finish, 'cause I'm going back to school and running low on ideas (*coughnotcough*) so wish me the best of luck that I come back soon with more chapters. ^-^

Next Time: Jaeb's plans into action (will they work)? What will Vegeta do? And more importantly, WHAT ARE GOKU'S AND PICCOLO'S COSTUMES??? Find out next time on "Mother Knows Best". Hey I can make an echo, echo, echo, echo. *people sweatdrop*


Please leave the bunny some reviews, will ya? *pokes* Maybe she'll update soon if you do. ^-~