Wow, I seriously can't stop starting fics! ARGGGG make it stop!! Okay, anyyway.

After seeing millions and millions (okay, overexageration) of Girls-End-Up-In-Middle-Earth fics, usually ending up as GIrl-Gets-Hunka-Hunka-Burnin-Love-LOTR-Character....I wondered what the GUYS of good ol' plain earth are thinking. And I decided they would be MAD if all the girls were being sucked into Middle-Earth and then stolen by Hobbits and Elves and whatnot!
Soo....join Brad, Cameron, Chris, and Tyler as they Rage Against The LOTR and storm Middle-Earth!!
(BTW, don't own LOTR....or even Brad, Cameron, Chris or Tyler as they are take-offs on real people...names changed, of course)


"Well, there goes another one." Brad said morosely as a loud scream was heard from the girl's bathroom, denoting another girl sucked into Middle-earth by way of swirlie.

"Will they ever STOP? Half the student body is already gone…." Chris said over the sound of frantic flushing now present- other girls trying to get sucked in the same way.

"Damn that Legolas." Cameron muttered. "And that Frodo…and that Aragorn…and that Pippin…and hell, damn them all!"

"Almost all the girls have gotten zapped into Middle-earth since December!" Tyler added. "Including our GIRLFRIENDS. There's no telling how they're terrorizing the poor citizens of Middle-earth…."

"Don't think about them, think about US." Cameron pointed out. "There are no girls left…ANYWHERE! And it's all THEIR faults." He said, gesturing vaguely to the girls bathroom and the Middle-earthen toilets of DOOM.

"We should DO something!" Brad joined in emphatically. "We should take a stand! Rise up against the hobbits who are taking our girls!"

Brad received quite a few odd stares from random passers-by at this declaration, but his three friends nodded vigorously.

"Okay, so we'll go to Middle-earth and bring back all the girls, and maybe teach the Ultra-Handsome ones and co. a few lessons…." Cameron cackled evilly.


"Let's storm Middle-earth!"

"WHOO! Power to US!"

"Uh, guys…." Chris spoke up. "First, we need to GET to Middle Earth…."

"Oh yeah…" And suddenly a damper was put over the boys' master plan.

"But hey, I mean, it can't be TOO hard. There are thousands of cases of people getting pulled there!"

"Yeah, but that was only to girls." Tyler pointed out.

"Oh yeah." Another damper dropped on top of them.

"Okay, here's what we do! First, we make a list of all the ways people have gotten to Middle-earth!" Brad said.

"And how do we go about that? The only way girls have gotten there around here is through the toilet and by eating cafeteria food…..." Tyler trailed off.

There was a long pause as the boys considered, then unanimously shuddered.

"Not going there…." Cameron said, still involuntarily shuddering.

"As I was saaaaying…" Brad broke in. "If we look at we'll find about seven-hundred ways to get into Middle-earth. All tested and all successful!"

"Okay! To…….the INTERNET!!!" Cameron declared triumphantly, and the boys rushed off in a mad stampede towards the high-school library.


Yes, oh the sadness of short chapters. Others will be longer, as this is only a prolouge. There's no telling what crazy, hormone-ridden boys will do when they GET to Middle-Earth! MUAAH!!!