Explanation/pondering/vague idea of where this story is headed:
--First of all, it will go into TTT, and probably into RoTK. And the Mary-Sues will not be present the whole time. That would get rawther annoying to write, seeing as there are going to be two /more/. I know how to solve their little problem, but they will not go away until the end of LotR and possibly the beginning of TTT.
--Second of all, seeing as these four guys disappeared into Middle-Earth mid-trilogy, they have no idea what happens in TTT, except for 'Brad', the only one who has read the books. THAT should be interesting. Muah.




"Is an apple a socially accepted method of suicide?"

"Only in the most Disney-ish sense," Tyler replied, hastily snatching said fruit from Cameron's hand, where he had been glaring rather angrily at it for the past few minutes. It was the next morning, the Fellowship was on the move again, walking along through the forests surrounding Imladris; home of the elves, many interesting furry animals, and the illustrious Mary Sue.

"Then will you take that big stick over there and hit me with it a half a dozen times?" Cameron requested blandly. "I'd probably be unconscious after the first hit, but…"

"You just want to make extra doubly sure?"

Cameron glanced at him. "Actually, I am in doubt of the strength of your puny deltoid muscles."

"I could take major offense at that, but instead I'll just remind you that at least we haven't run into any /more/ Mary-Sues today. There is no need for a state of unconsciousness."

"No need...YET. It's only ELEVEN. In the MORNING," Cameron grumbled. "And what we've got is making up in intensity what it lacks in numbers."

He pointed up ahead of them for emphasis. Jenna, a.k.a. Cárnëánnâillíon, was walking so close to Legolas that she periodically trod on the back of his boots. This in turn caused him to edge away from her, closer to Aragorn, who was being flanked by Leia. And since wherever Legolas went, Jenna followed; this inevitably ended her up closer to Leia. And while both girls had been good friends back on normal Earth, here they seemed to be mortal enemies…and the combination was deadly. Contact between them often led to all out, no-holds-barred, brutal and uncouth name-calling, and sometimes violent and uncivilized poking.

Aragorn and Legolas were holding up splendidly under all this, although Tyler had seen Aragorn tapping the handle of Andúril tensely, and Legolas had on occasion taken an arrow from his quiver and examined the tip longingly, as though there was no other place he would rather see it embedded than in say…Jenna's mid-brain. By way of her mid-forehead.

"I could just cry," Cameron said simply, "out of sheer humiliation. This is worse than that one time at your nineth birthday when my parents decided it would be great fun to-"

"Yes, yes, no need to go into sordid details," Tyler said hastily, well aware that at least four members of their party were well within earshot.

"Oh no, do tell. I seem to have forgotten /this/ story," said a sudden voice from Tyler's elbow.

Tyler upped the number of Fellowship members in earshot to five.

"Hallo, Chris," he said tiredly. "And no, Cameron, you will NOT tell him the story. Not unless you want to be wearing your own skin as a stylish new hat."

"Ouch," Cameron said, and hastily moved away to join Brad, walking a few feet up ahead with Sam, and Frodo, who he seemed to have gotten on good terms with.

"You know, being a Hobbit isn't so bad, after all," Chris said wryly. "You can be walking right along next to someone and they are apt to completely forget you are there. Unless you chomp on their elbow of course."

"Should I be walking along with my arms in the air?"

"And perhaps waving them like you just don't care," Chris suggested. "but in all seriousness, Cameron /is/ right. This is awful."

"Oh, you mean Hippolyte and Meat up there?"

"Who and WHO?" Chris boggled.

"Hippolyte- leader of the Amazon women in Greek mythology. The men did the cooking and the child-rearing and all other womanly stuff, and the woman were the incredibly fierce fighters. Sound like Leia much?"

"Oh yeah," Chris nodded. "And I'd like to invite Brad to dis-posses Tyler's body now."

"Hey," Tyler objected. "Brad is not the ONLY one who reads around here. And is dis-posses a word?"

"It is now. And why in the world did you call Jenna 'Meat'?"

"Because her new name is bizarre and long, and Cameron has shortened it to Carne-idon'tcare or even just Carne. And that means meat in Spanish."

"Meat," Chris laughed. "With a side of Legolas."

"Now that mental image was very was uncalled for."

"Sorry. That should have been 'with a leg-of-lamb.'"


A few feet ahead, Brad heard something that sounded much like someone getting punched rather hard, and wisely decided to ignore it.

"So. Frodo," Cameron, who was walking besides him, said. "Glad you don't have any lusters yet?"

"You mean….them?" the Hobbit asked, pointing to Leia and Jenna, now engaged in a aggressive poking war. "I find them unnatural, rather frightening, and on the whole am glad I have none trodding on my feet." He said, as Jenna again stepped on Legolas's boot.

"Yeah, that might hurt," Cameron observed, glancing down at the Ringbearer's bare Hobbit-feet. "I'm sure those definitely aren't prosthetic."

"Pros…what?" Frodo blinked. "Does he /ever/ make sense?" This last question was directed at Brad.

"Well, there was one time back in the mid-nineties...wait, no, that was something else entirely. I guess he never makes sense," Brad said, nimbly evading Cameron's blatant attempt to trip him.

"I can make sense about /something/," Cameron said. "Like how about this; how is this journeying movie/book time-compression thing going to work?"

"That did NOT make s-" Brad began, before he got it. "Um," he said intelligently, and then because he had nothing else to say, he added, "er."

"Right, because as you said it, it takes the Fellowship about twenty or so days to get to /Moria/. In the movie as I /saw/ it, it was about twenty seconds. Not including the little Caradhas segue. Which, as I may point out, was not all that succesful."

"Wow, you get points on that for both logic AND remembering the name of what, if I remember correctly, you used to call 'the mountain with helluva snow.'"

"Oh shut up," Cameron said with dignity, and then noticed that both Frodo and Sam were goggling at them.

" didn't hear any of that," he said, and Sam blinked.

"Of course we did, begging your pardon," he said. "We were right beside you the whole time, and-"

"Sam," Frodo interrupted. "I think he meant we should /forget/ we heard any of that."

"Aaaah," Sam said immeadiatly. "Right, Mister Frodo. Forgotten."

"I think our conversation is better carried out about six feet up this way," Brad said, pulling Cameron by his shirt sleeve. "And you do have a good point, about the traveling I mean. Because after the Council of Elrond, the Fellowship stayed in Rivendell for about two months. And we were not there two months."

"Felt more like six seconds," Cameron noted. "I guess we'll just have to see what happens."


"Unless /what/? I don't like you when you say 'unless' like that," Cameron said worriedly.

"Unless something about time compression between the book and movie is specified in that /other/ book that fell on your head a while ago. You know," Brad said, "with all those crazy portals."

"Oh right," Cameron said, scratching his neck uncomfortably. "Well, actually, about that book..."


"I ate it."

"You did NOT. Where is it?"

"All right, fine, I gave it to Tyler."

"Okay, much better. And he did what with it?"

"How should I know? Maybe he shoved it up his-"

"TYLER!" Brad hollered quickly, turning around. Tyler, who was using Merry and Pippin as living shields to keep Chris away from him, glanced up.


"What did you do with that yellow book we got?"

"I've got it," Tyler replied, eyeing Chris warily.

"Exactly /where/?" Cameron put in. "You don't have a pack or anything. Unless you really DID shove-"

"You are just begging for a slow, painful maiming," Brad muttered after pushing Cameron off the path. "Okay Tyler, where is it?"

"In my pocket," Tyler replied. "Because, for some strange, unexplained reason, it shrinks."

"Oh the jokes I could make," Cameron muttered evily, climbing out of the bush where Brad had pushed him.

"Chris, leave Tyler alone so we can look at his book," Brad said. "Cameron, not a WORD."


Okay, nothing really happened in this chapter, except I found out it's way too much fun to write these guys. Whee.
Anyway, next chapter, things will HAPPEN! YAY! Like they'll get to Moria!
Oh yeah, and I tried to write a little more of the actual Fellowship characters in this one (actions, talking, etc.), and hopefully LOTS more in the next one. Because this is LORD OF THE RINGS category! Nyahhgg.
And yes, there were no new Mary-Sues in this chapter...but there will be. MUAHAHAHAHA. *cough* Er...yes.
And this would have been up a few days ago, but firstly I got sick, and then I did modeling, and then someone's birthday absorbed my life. So....I do have excuses! Lame though they are.