Hidden Tales From The Chamber Of Secrets - 1 - Mrs Norris

by Polydicta

The now obligatory selection of plot-bunnies, orphaned scenes, omakes and idiocy that sometimes bring my mind to a grinding halt. Ongoing warnings for smut, language, character death, bashing, torture, mutilation and reader brain-damage. Brain bleach recommended.


All fiction is derivative and fan fiction doubly so. I make no claim to own any part of any of the following, all I have done is an attempt to put together the elements in a novel fashion, using words and ideas like Lego ™ bricks.

There is no money involved – all I do is to share what I do for my own amusement.


Hidden Tales From The Chamber Of Secrets - 1 - Mrs Norris


Note: Just a stupid idea that came out of reading a fiction featuring a typo on the word 'Petrified'.


Harry had left Lockhart's room and decided to walk off the stiffness of sitting for four hours writing replies to the popinjay's fan mail. He had bumped into Professor McGonagall as he climbed the astronomy tower and Professor Sinistra had seen him sitting in one of the windows watching the last, fading light of the sunset.

The clock chimed eight and he decided to head back to the common room, meeting Hermione at the foot of the stairs.

"Are you alright Harry?"

He nodded. "Yes, the ponce had me writing replies to his fan letters. I had to get rid of the ache of sitting for so long, and to get the stench of his damned after-shave out of my nose."

She giggled at his comment, knowing precisely what he meant. She appreciated, having seen the idiot in action, that he was just a self-publicist with an ego the size of an oliphaunt. They continued to walk in silence. A comfortable, companionable silence.

As they passed Dumbledore's old classroom he heard a pitiful wailing. Harry's heart lurched as he realised that someone's pet was in distress. Rounding the corner they saw a terrible sight.

There sat Mrs Norris, yowling and trying to remove the pink and lilac bows, her fur curled and fluffed. The cat's claw's were painted a vibrant red and her whiskers were curled and corkscrewed. Around her neck was a pastel pink collar encrusted with dazzling, iridescent, magical diamante. The creature bore toe-rings, anklets and bracelets and, for some inexplicable reason, a number of diamante ear-rings.

No matter what he thought of Mr Filch or his cat, he couldn't bear to see a creature so unnaturally used. He snatched up the poor creature and began to soothe it, telling Hermione to go and find a teacher and Mr Filch.

"What have you done to my cat, Potter? I'll kill you …"

Harry was sat with the now calm if exhausted pet on his lap.

"I … I … didn't …"

"Calm yourself Argus …"

Hermione had returned with Dumbledore just in time to see Harry being verbally assaulted.

"Mr Potter?"

"She's calmed down a bit now, Professor. She's not happy, but she's a bit less upset than when we found her."

He stood and handed the red-eyed cat to her master.

"It's alright Argus … she's not been harmed, she's just been prettified."