March 08, 2025

The dinner seems to be going surprisingly well. Blaine and Kurt were "in the area," so they figured it would be nice to see each other again. There's a lot to catch up on. Blaine and Kurt are married now. They lift their hands up to show their rings and look at each other with wide smiles and light blushes on their cheeks.

"You've really learned how to cook, Jeff. Last time I met you, it was burnt toast and Ramen," Kurt jokes, taking the final bite of his pasta carbonara. Blaine nods in agreement, and Jeff grins.

"Thanks, guys. I've tried moving away from the whole 'boxed food' phase." Leaning over, he rests his head on Nick's shoulder, looking up at him. Nick looks somewhat confused. "You okay?" Jeff whispers, reaching up and stroking his hair. Nick jumps a little and looks down uncomfortably at Jeff before nodding.

"Yeah, fine. Sorry." Something's clearly off, but it doesn't seem enough to bother Nick because a smile – albeit a slightly tense one – comes across his face.

"No, it's fine," Blaine says, and he gives one of his wide smiles to Nick, his eyes crinkling at the edges. There's a pause before Blaine says, "So, we were wondering whether maybe you guys wanted to come up in the summer." Kurt swallows before excitedly nodding.

"Oh, yeah! I was – Should I say it, Blaine, or do you want to?" Blaine laughs and kisses Kurt on the cheek.

"It's your news to share." Kurt nods before turning back, wringing his hands together excitedly and bouncing slightly in his seat.

"So, uh, my first Broadway show… I kind of landed a role as Angel in the Broadway revival of RENT." He laughs excitedly, and Blaine wraps his arms around him, a look of pride in his eyes.

"Congratulations!" Jeff says, grinning. "Of course we'll come, right, Nick?" Nick nods as well, and he smiles.

"Congrats. Woah, Broadway." He nods his head, looking surprised, and Jeff laughs. He's glad for Kurt; it wasn't everyday someone's dream – especially one that big – came true.

"I'm going to go grab dessert," Jeff says, and Kurt stands up.

"I'll help. I can't sit still anyway." Jeff grabs the plates, and they head out into the kitchen.

"Really, though, congrats," Jeff says as they walk through the door. He sets down the plates in the sink before turning and hugging Kurt.

"Thanks, Jeff. I really couldn't have done it without Blaine's help, though." There's a pause between them as Jeff pulls back and opens the fridge, and he hears Kurt shift. When he looks up, cheesecake in hand, the smile on Kurt's face has disappeared.

"I – I was wondering how Nick's doing."

Oh. Jeff sets the cake down on the counter and purses his lips.

"Okay. Some days are harder than others, but mostly he's fine."

"He just hasn't said much, and – I don't know. I'm sorry."

Jeff can't look Kurt in the eyes. He can't admit that he's jealous of what Kurt has with Blaine. Because whether they have a shitty day or a fantastic one, at least they know that they have thousands of them ahead.

"It's fine. At least I have him for now," Jeff says, still staring down at the floor. He notices Kurt moving forward, and there are two arms wrapped around him, pulling him into a tight hug.

"It isn't fair. I'm sorry. Both of you deserve so much more," he says. Jeff nods and smiles as Kurt squeezes his hand and pulls back. "Feel free to call any time if you need someone to talk to or just…"

"Thanks." Jeff nods, and they head into the kitchen, smiling and holding the cake.

It's another three hours before they leave. They all hug each, saying their goodbyes at the door. Jeff pulls Blaine into a hug first and does the same with Kurt. Nick does the same with Blaine, smiling widely. When he turns to Kurt, though, he doesn't go for a hug. "It was nice meeting you," Nick says, extending a hand and smiling. Jeff's heart seems to stop for a moment.

Kurt freezes, unsure what to say, and Jeff pulls back, shaking his head. This can't be happening. The most he's forgotten is maybe the mailman, Jerry. But Kurt's been their friend for years. He's known them since they were sophomores in high school. He watches Blaine slowly place a hand on Nick's shoulder, his eyes wide and unsure.

"Nick, this is –"

"No, Blaine, it's fine. It's nice to meet you too, Nick," Kurt says. His voice is slow, and he sucks in his lips worriedly.

When Jeff lets out an audible sob, his chest constricting, all eyes turn to him. Kurt and Blaine shift uncomfortably at the door, feeling as if they're intruding, as if this is somehow their fault that Nick can't remember Kurt. Nick's brow furrows. "Did I say something? Are you okay?" Jeff's tries to get something out, but his throat closes, and he continues simply shaking his head. "Holy shit, Jeff, what's wrong?" Nick's running at him, arms around him. "Jeffie? Talk to me, please."

Jeff doesn't know whether he should tell him, but the words come out before he can stop them. "You know Kurt." Nick's arms stiffen, and an inscrutable expression falls over his face.

"No… I've never met him." His words come out slowly, carefully, as if he's hoping Jeff will change his mind and agree with what he's saying.

"Yes, yes you have. It's Kurt. You know Kurt. You know him." He says it as if it'll somehow remind Nick, but Nick just looks at him blankly for a moment before his face falls.

"I'm sorry, Jeffie. I really don't – I can't –" There are tears forming in Nick's eyes as well, and Blaine and Kurt take it as their cue to say that they need to leave. Both of them helplessly stare at Nick and Jeff, and they give Jeff an apologetic, sad smile before walking towards the door. Jeff shakes his head, trying to compose himself. He can't let himself fall apart in front of Kurt and Blaine. "Jeff?" Nick's voice is low, and his eyes are fixed on Jeff, as if no one else is in the room.

Jeff takes a deep breath and shakes his head, pulling out of Nick's grasp. "I need water. I'll be in the bedroom in a second. Let me walk them out, okay?" He hopes that Nick takes the cue to leave. When Nick goes to follow him, his head snaps back. "Don't." For a moment he almost changes his mind as he seems the hurt and fear cloud Nick's eyes, but he can't face Nick right now. Still, guilt settles heavily in his stomach as Nick's face falls, and he gives a jerky nod. His shoulders slump over as he heads towards their bedroom.

They make their way quietly down the walk towards Kurt and Blaine's car. Jeff's hands are stuffed deeply in his pockets, and he focuses instead on breathing, trying not to cry. The silence is heavy and awkward, and eventually it becomes too much to bear.

"I'm sorry. Jeff, it isn't fair –" Kurt looks at a loss of what to say, but there's something about the way he's looking at Nick, with a need to comfort him. As he goes for a hug, the moment breaks, though, and Jeff snaps again.

"No, it isn't fair." Jeff bares his teeth. "He's not supposed to forget you. He's not supposed to fucking forget anyone." His hand clench into fists deep in his pockets, and he lets out a low, angry hiss.

Kurt falls silent again, his brow furrowed as he searches for some words of comfort. Jeff's throat closes. He's tired of the pitying stares. He just wants someone to fix it. What's another sorry going to do? He's heard the phrase a thousand times over.

It's the way that Blaine reaches out to grab Kurt's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze that finally makes him break down. Though Blaine doesn't say it, he can almost hear his thoughts as he looks over at Kurt. Thank God it isn't us. Tears form at Jeff's eyes, and he can't help but think how unfair it is that he never got to choose.

He hugs Kurt and Blaine quickly before dashing back inside. He makes it over to the glass cabinets before breaking down fully. He stays as quiet as he can, not wanting Nick to hear. Nick's hurt face flashes in front of him, as he takes a gulp of water and stifles a sob. Pulling himself to the kitchen table, he sits there for another twenty minutes, cradling his glass, until the tears are gone and he's left with nothing but a low ache in his chest, Nick's words echoing in his head.

When he goes into the bedroom, Nick's fast asleep.

March 09, 2025

"I'm sorry." Jeff doesn't open his eyes, though from his breathing – the way it hitches when Nick speaks – it's obvious that he's awake. "I want to remember. You have to believe me." He reaches out, his fingers slowly running down Jeff's arm, dancing around and tracing small patterns against it. "Jeff, please," Nick's voice is low, and he reaches down to Jeff's fingers, squeezing lightly.

It's only then that Jeff opens his eyes. Last night's events swirl through his mind, and that low ache from yesterday slowly builds up again until Jeff feels like he might throw up. He takes a shaky breath and swallows thickly. "I know." Part of him almost wishes, in a sick, horrible way, that he was forgetting on purpose – that it was his fault. Then he could have something, someone to blame. But with nothing and no one, it's impossible not to get frustrated and angry. All he wants to know is why; is that too much to ask?

"I love you." Nick's voice is quiet as his hand goes up to Jeff's face, his fingers running down his cheeks before petting his hair. "One of us has to remember that, so just…" He leans in and presses a light kiss on Jeff's lips. Though he's calm, he seems oddly resigned. "I love you," he repeats, and he pulls back to his chair.

"I love you, too."

May 22, 2025

Nick leans down, slowly pressing their lips together, his hands on either side of his head, pressing down the pillow. "Gorgeous. How are you so gorgeous and mine?" He chuckles before lifting his hand, tracing his pointer finger across Jeff's lips. Jeff can feel his throat tighten, and he parts his lips slightly, letting Nick's finger slip past before he sucks lightly on it. Nick shudders above him.

"Problem?" He cocks an eyebrow, though the act drops as soon as Nick's fingers dance down to the top of his shirt, playing under it.

"That you're still dressed? I think that's about it," Nick mutters, and his head drops down sucking on Jeff's collarbone. Jeff's hips arch up, and he wraps his arms around Nick. When Nick pulls back, before he can start fiddling with the buttons on Jeff's shirt, Jeff presses their noses together.

"I love you, okay?" Nick's face softens, and he kisses him again, this time their lips moving slowly against each other. Carefully, he sucks on Jeff's lower lip, pulling it back to worry it between his teeth. His hand moves up, and he runs it through Jeff's hair, tucking a bit behind his ear.

"It's more than okay." His nose nudges up against Jeff's cheek. "And I love you, too. Lots and lots." Slowly, Nick unbuttons Jeff's shirt, slipping it off his shoulders and down to the floor. For a moment, he just stares at Jeff's bare chest as if it's the first time he's seeing it. Then, he starts kissing downward, his hands moving to Jeff's hips.

"You – Oh, God," Jeff chokes out as Nick's tongue flicks over one of his nipples and sucks gently. His teeth scrape lightly against it, and Jeff arches upwards, his hands running down Nick's back. His fingers move to the base of his shirt before slipping under it, running up the base of his spine. Nick shivers above him, and he moans lightly as his tongue slowly run down his skin.

He presses light kisses down, his lips zigzagging from side to side. Jeff's fingers unfurl before clutching onto Nick's shirt. He whimpers, and when he looks down, his eyes meet Nick's. Nick pulls up for a moment, although his breath continues to tickle against Jeff's skin. "So gorgeous," he murmurs before dropping his lips down.

Nick's hands move to Jeff's hips, and they run along the waistband of Jeff's pants before moving to the zipper. Carefully, he undoes it, pausing to look up at Jeff with such wide innocent eyes that it reminds him of their first time. Jeff's laugh is quiet and breathy as one hand moves to Nick's hair, his fingers running through it. His hips lift off the bed to help Nick slide his pants off. They fall to the floor with a light bump.

Nick's eyes fall to the tent in Jeff's boxers, but he first presses a kiss to each hipbone. His lips linger, and Jeff's head falls back to the pillow. His eyes close, and he lets out a needy whine as Nick's finger dips underneath the elastic. Slowly, tugs the boxers down, and Jeff's hands tighten around the bed sheets.

Nick's fingers run down his hips to the inside of his thighs, following the light curve, and Jeff's breath hitches. "Nick…" The name comes out reedy and impatient, and he tries to find friction against nothing.

"Gorgeous," Nick repeats before following the pattern of his fingers and kissing up Jeff's thighs. Jeff's achingly hard, but there's something intimate about this. And while his body needs more now, he simply appreciates Nick's careful touch, as if he's blind and reading braille, attempting to memorize what's written on Jeff's skin.

Finally, he places a light kiss on the head of Jeff's cock, and Jeff melts against the bed. His fingers fist the sheets, and he lets out a choked groan as Nick's lips wrap around him. Nick's fingers fall, and he cups Jeff's balls.

It's as if his chest is tightening. Jeff breathes in sharply, and he holds it, trembling as he tries not to arch upward into Nick's mouth. Nick must realize because he does his best to make small shushing noises as one hand reaches for Jeff's stomach, and he runs the backs of his fingers lightly up and down.

Tensing, Jeff's eyes open again, and he lets out another moan as Nick stares unblinkingly up at him. Nick's lips are wrapped around his cock, and he lets out a light hum, the vibrations riding up Jeff's cock as he slowly slips down further. He takes in as much as he can before hallowing out his cheeks. His tongue drags along the underside as if feeling the weight of it, and he sets the pace.

He bobs his head up and down, and Jeff can only take so much before his head lulls back against the pillow, and his eyes shut again. His stomach tightens, and he lets out a low whine as he loses control, thrusting upward into Nick's mouth. Nick's pace quickens, and Jeff knows he isn't going to last long. Nick must sense it too because he pulls off with another wet pop.

Jeff writhes at the strain in the pit of his stomach, aching for that release. He whimpers, and Nick's hands run soothingly up and down his chest. "Patience, love. Here, turn over onto your stomach." Jeff follows his instructions immediately, and he waits, trying to find some sort of friction against the sheets as Nick grabs the lube and quickly sheds his clothes, dropping them to the ground.

Nick's careful with the preparation, going slowly as he stretches hm. He's careful not to give him too much. Then again, as Nick twists his knuckles in deeper, slowly pulling his fingers out before pressing them back in, Jeff can't help but rock back and forth against them.

When Nick finally presses a kiss to his back, he changes his mind. "Turn around. I want to see you when you come." His hand pulls lightly through his hair as if the request is nothing but innocent. Jeff obeys, wrapping his legs around Nick's waist as Nick aligns himself. After a moment, Nick lets out a low grunt, his lips pressed sloppily against Jeff's as he pushes in.

Jeff whimpers, and Nick gives him a moment to adjust before slowly pulling out and pressing back in. The whine that leaves Nick's mouth makes Jeff tense up, and he gasps, staring at Nick with wide eyes, their teeth scraping together as his lips move slightly to the side.

Their movements are jerky as if they're inexperienced, but they move together. It's slow. Despite the pressure in Jeff's stomach, he doesn't want it to end. His hands grip whatever skin he can. They run up and down Nick's sides before clamping shut. His breaths come in low, short pants, and he arches upwards as he tries to get Nick deeper. His legs tighten.


The word is tense and hangs between them for a moment, and then Nick nods. His lips fall to Jeff's neck, nipping and sucking at the skin there, leaving a mark. His hand falls down to Jeff's cock, and he gives it a few languid strokes, off-tempo with his thrusts. Jeff's head buzzes, and his entire body fills with heat as he comes.

He buries his head in the crook of Nick's neck as he rides out his orgasm, with Nick milking him. Jeff's entire body seems to pulsate with warmth, and he whimpers and moans out Nick's name along with a drawn-out babble of words. Nick only takes a few more thrusts to topple over the edge as well, and he tightens around Jeff too.

They hold each other, Jeff pressing sloppy kisses to Nick's shoulder as he slowly comes down. For a moment they lie there, Nick pressed on top of Jeff. Their hair sticks to their foreheads with sweat, but they don't care. They stay like this for several minutes, breathing heavily and clinging to each other. Jeff, afraid to let go, stays pressed against Nick, listening to him breathe.

He's almost sure that Nick's asleep when Nick suddenly, finally shifts, peppering his face with kisses. Jeff's eyes water for a moment, and he smiles widely, his eyes staring up adoringly at Nick. "I love you," Nick says, and he finally pulls himself out. Jeff winces before shifting so that they're pressed together again, and he wraps his arms around Nick's waist.

"I love you too, Nicky."

If Nick says anything else, Jeff doesn't hear it before he drifts off to sleep.

August 13, 2025

Nick laughs, moving away from the bowling alley and going over to his chair, leaning back as he stares up at the scores. "100 to 120. It's not bad."

"Yeah, but I still beat you," Jeff says, grinning widely. "I'm still proud of myself for that double."

"Yeah, yeah…" Though Nick rolls his eyes, he can't help but let an affectionate smile take over his face. After a moment, he curls into Nick. "You're so soft."

"And you look tired." It's no surprise. These days, Nick seems to have bags under his eyes all the time.. Jeff doesn't mention that.

"Yeah. And you're really comfy right now."

"Come here." Jeff's arm wraps around Nick, and he lets out a yawn. "I guess I'm pretty tired myself." After a moment, Jeff lets out a low groan, and he reaches out for the beer. After taking a long swig, his eyes close, and he sighs quietly, content.

"I want some. Gimme." Nick's hands reach out, and he pouts until Jeff gives him the beer. Nick's eyes close as he gulps from it; when he finishes, he licks his lips.

"I needed that."

"I'm that much of a chore to be around, huh?" Jeff teases, nudging Nick lightly. Nick immediately laughs but shakes his head.

"No way, José."

"Just a little?"

"Not even a little," Nick says. He tilts his head up to press their lips together, and they wrap their arms around each other. Even when Jeff pulls back, he doesn't move far, leaving their foreheads pressed together as they look at each other and smile as if there's some special secret between the two of them.

A few minutes pass before Nick finally pulls back, groaning. "What's wrong?" Jeff asks, reaching down to squeeze his hand.

"I've forgotten how uncomfortable these bowling shoes get after a while," Nick whines, pouting down at his feet.

"Well, we haven't bowled since we were in high school." Stretching out his hand, Jeff gets up and smiles. "C'mon, we'll go get them off and get home." Nick grabs Jeff's hand and beams broadly before giving a firm nod. When he moves up, he wraps his arms around Jeff's waist one final time before heading towards the exit.

"That sounds absolutely fantastic."

January 02, 2026

Jeff lies, staring at Nick. He looks peaceful like this. If he tilts in closely enough, Jeff can see his eyes moving behind his eyelids, and he can't help but wonder what Nick is dreaming about.

Jeff's careful not to wake Nick up as he shifts in the bed so that he's tilted on his side. He's mere inches away from Nick, and he reaches out and lightly, carefully, run his fingers through Nick's hair. A small smile flickers on Nick's lips, and Jeff smile back.

Looking over to the window, Jeff can tell that it's a gorgeous day. The sun is shining through the crack in their curtains, and even through the light fabric, it's flooding the room. Outside, there's no wind, and there's a light titter of a bird's call. It's perfect for the picnic he'd been planning for a while. Slowly, he starts to make a list of what he'll need for it. It's Nick shifting around in bed that alerts him again, and Jeff focuses his attention back on Nick.

"Morning, baby," Jeff murmurs, pressing a kiss to Nick's temple. He feels bad for waking him. Nick's never been much of a morning person, and Jeff knows that he's usually unapproachable without his first cup of coffee. Still, it's unusual for Nick to completely stiffen as he does. "Nick?"

Nick's eyes are distant and guarded as he finally looks over at Jeff, and before he even speaks, Jeff knows that there's something terribly wrong. He seems so detached. He seems like he isn't Nick. Jeff wants to say something, but suddenly his words seem caught in his throat.

"Who are you?"