Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.
Paul imprint story. Paul imprints on the witty and sarcastic Kim. NOT JARED'S KIM! I just really like the name and so I'm using it. If you don't like it I'm sorry just don't read. But for those who don't mind and would like to read please enjoy.
WARNING: this story is rated T for Swearing, Slight Racism, and Fat Jokes. Enjoy. I mean no disrespect to anyone with the things I say.
BTW my E key is sticky so please forgive me now if I miss a couple E's. I'll try my hardest not to and will double check.
Hurry up, Hurry up, Hurry up! I'm starving. Goodness Gracious this fat man is SLOW. Just order already! I love Taco Bell but if I had a nickel for every time I got stuck behind a fat man that took forever to order his damn food then I'd have ... 10 cents. "GRRLL!" Was that my stomach or did that guy just fart? I'm not sure. OMG! If it starts stinking in here I will have to shove a cork up this man's ass. Please be my stomach, Please be my stomach, Please be my stomach. I don't want to touch this man's ass or smell him. Please just be my stomach! I inconspicuously held my nose and look outside. Is it RAINING? My day just keeps getting better and better. I have to walk all the way back to the library in the rain.
UGH! I HATE WASHINGTON! I live on JBLM (Joint Base Lewis McChord) a military base in Washington State, and its awful here. I turned 18 in March and I cannot wait to go to college at the end of summer. It's June and school got out 3 days ago so I have three months to go. Kill me now. I'm so close to being free but so far away. I bet it wouldn't be that bad if I were anywhere else but my mom is in the Army so her being stationed here will be the death of me.
I've lived in Washington before when my mom was stationed here 7 years ago when I was 10 but we thankfully moved to Wiesbaden Army Airfield in Germany when I was 13. 2 years later Mom got stationed at Fort Shafter in Hawaii. We'd been there until Army Mom (ha-ha. nickname!) got stationed here in this dreadful sunless hellhole 7 months ago. I had to move here during my senior year and it SUCKED EGGS! I've even lost most of my beautiful Hawaiian tan in this short period of time here. It wasn't a very dark tan but it was decent.
So here I am on my wasting 20 minutes of my lunch break, so far, standing behind a whale who is probably trying to figure out if he wants 1 Party Box with 12 tacos or 2 Party Boxes. I have to be back at the Tacoma Library where I work at 1:00 which is in 40 minutes. I normally just work 3 hours in the afternoon but now that it is summer I work from 10:00 till 3:00. My pay is higher now. Yay me, I like money! A LOT!
I wonder if I tip this cow and pass him if anyone will notice or care.
"Ummmm..." that is all this air polluting elephant has said the entire time I've been here."I would like a..." *gasp* go on say it. Order. DO IT. It seems everyone in the fast food restaurant is leaning forward to hear this huge decision of his. "I would like..." he repeated pausing again, "You know what, I don't really feel like tacos today." WHAT! "Maybe pizza. mmmmm."
HE KEPT ME WAITING FOR ALMOST HALF OF MY BREAK AND HE DOESN'T FEEL LIKE TACOS! I stuck my foot out as he hobbled past me and he fell hard. Tons of people gasped and since I don't have time to get in trouble I stifled my laugh and pretend to care. "Oh My!" I exclaimed dramatically. I put my hand out as to help him up with no intention of doing so. I have no idea where my self-control came from but I managed not to die from laughing as he rolled over grunting and attempted to stand. The poor cashier and other employees had to help him up, by the time they got him standing he was sweating buckets. I had only let a couple of snickers out and I felt like I was about to bust out in a fit of laughter and die there in the Taco Bell.
"Oh! Sir, are you alright." I asked him in a fake southern belle accent, laying my innocence on thick.
His eyes got huge and he looked completed bewildered. Oh no, he's gonna have a heart attack. This sucks. I have to get back to work soon and I'm starving! Oh yeah... I hope he's ok.
"Sir?" the pile of fat with legs asked incredously. "I am a woman."
"A woman?"I asked and was not the only one who was surprised. Isn't that thing on its upper lip a mustache?
"Yes! A Woman! A whole lot of woman, at that!" she said pointedly. You're telling me. I'm not sure about the woman part but there is a whole lot of something.
"There is no way in hell you're a woman." said a Native American female sitting in a booth eating with a young muscular guy, who was also a Native American.
"I am so. I'll prove it." and with that she pulled off her shirt.
"I'm blind!" I cried. Many people made disgusted faces and noises, covering up children's eyes and the young native boy threw his cookies all over the floor. If you could call those sagging cottage cheese filled bags with a little cherry on top boobs, then yes she had boobs. And they were women's unfortunately and not just man boobs. So I guess it is a woman. Wow, now I only have 5 cents.
I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. A little short but it will get longer and better. I have done a bit of research on the military bases in Germany and Hawaii where I would love to live. Kim pretty much mirrors my personality. REVIEW PLEASE!