Two people, brother and sister, looked at the bright blue marble in the dark starless sky above a gray lifeless space-like surface. One who, when depicted as messaging someone, would be a gray neutral face, the other one a white skull. One with the black scythe-shaped hair slowly gaining a zigzag shape, the other with purple hair which looked as if it was going to enclose itself within a wireframe cube within few years.
Dib and Gaz Membranes, if not the only then at least the first people to live on the Moon, were again staring at the Earth, missing their father and missing the paranoia.
They remembered everything about the night when they went. Their father, the world-renowned yet mysterious man known to public only as "Professor Membrane", had invented the first nuclear gun that could encircle the Earth, covering 40,000 kilometers of aerial distance, and return to the starting point. He was awarded the first lunar apartment to be built ever, because of certain events the space programs had gone way further than where the people are reading this, but mostly stayed on Earth while Dib and Gaz lived on the Moon, with return pods if they wanted to, well, return. Or simply fly around the Earth-Moon system.
Dib then returned to his telescope, spectating the Earth as it went unsuspicious, while Gaz returned to playing one of the games she brought back from Earth, Portal 2.
She watched as the main character, at the risk of a nuclear meltdown, shot a portal to the Moon. Everything in the chamber, up to all artificial intelligences and the player herself, were sucked up, with a male voice shouting "Let go! We're in space!"
And then the main character saw…
Dib's and Gaz's apartment.
Out of all places that Valve Software could have chosen, they specifically contacted Professor Membrane and asked him for the models of the apartment, styled in a retro space fashion, and two return pods, one with a blue hue, and the other with a purple one.
Gaz took a screenshot of it immediately and exited the game. Despite it nearing the end, she was pissed off that her and Dib's privacy was violated.
Gaz went to Dib's and wanted to tell about her discovery, but just as that, Dib ALSO had a discovery.
"I've registered a nuclear explosion down on Earth, about 100 kilometers above the surface, and a purple dot is now leaving. I must investigate further. You stay and guard the house from any space zombies."
"There is no such thing as space zombies," Gaz snarled and watched as Dib left the house and flew off in a blue return pod.
Gaz watched the dot as Dib approached the Earth. What a sinful planet, she thought.
"Doom doom doom doom doom! The end!" said a dysfunctional SIR unit, Gir, ending the six month long Doom Song.
A green alien with ruby eyes, identifiable as an Irken, named Zim, was about to strangle Gir when the Voot Cruiser started beeping. "Approaching planet: Earth."
"Earth! This is the planet! Gir, we're finally here!" The Voot then started orbiting around the Earth and collecting information.
Ten minutes later…
"The Voot Cruiser has currently made one circle around the planet Earth. The circumference is measured to be 14,000,000 Galactic Species-Wide Units. The planet Earth is currently governed by two distinct forces in a cold war: the United States of America and the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics."
"Shouldn't it have collapsed like this?" Zim wondered, remembering the Irken history period when there was a rebellion on Irk. But before his train of thought could get anywhere further, the Voot started beeping again.
"Warning. Two incoming projectiles detected. Composition is mostly the ninety-second and ninety-fourth elements' radioactive isotopes. Affiliation: both factions have sent a projectile."
Zim directed the Voot to fly above the Earth. He watched as, when both projectiles collided, the result was a spectacular explosion.
"See what I thought? They're just going to destroy themselves eventually."
The Voot then centered its crosshairs over an island in the middle of the Pacific, 0.955766 degrees south latitude, 174.759521 degrees west longitude. "Area detected to be politically neutral. Conclusion: Safe for landing."
As the Voot entered the Earth's atmosphere, it started slightly burning, but stopped as the device landed on an unsuspecting uninhabited piece of land.
Dib watched the entire masquerade from his own return pod. Surely there was something weird going on, but what precisely? That still demanded further investigation.
As he watched the purple dot turn slightly red and draw a line in the atmosphere, the return pod started beeping. It was Gaz calling, trying her best not to care about the 1.3 second lag.
"Dib, return now. The remote class is going to start soon."
"But Gaz! The fate of humanity could depend on it!"
"Oh, you and your humanity." Gaz cut off. Dib sighed and returned to the lunar apartment, trying not to be nervous. His teacher just hated him that much.
Zim inspected the island. There was some wildlife, but no specimens of the species that the Voot called "humans".
"Release the complementary fleets. This Earth and its humans demand to be investigated. Then destroyed."
From the Voot retracted additional ships and flew all across the Earth. Zim then took out a capsule.
"Gir. This thing is going to build what looks like a perfectly normal Earth human house for us. Then we will devise disguises for ourselves."
"Can I be a mongoose?"
"SILENCE! Let us begin the invasion."
Zim threw the capsule and it disappeared in the tropical grass. Then, after a while, a green house with a pink roof and pink windows emerged, encasing the Voot inside itself. It then retracted a satellite TV plate, some lawn gnomes and a flag saying "I (heart) EARTH" on it. After that Zim and Gir walked inside, sure that no spy was watching over them.
Inside there was a holographic screen and a capsule. Zim pressed some places on the screen, and soon enough it was scrolling through different human shapes. Zim rejected them, one by one, until he settled on a fairly simple disguise that still made him look like an alien, consisting of a wig and contact lenses. Zim then walked into the capsule, it emitted light with the Irken screaming, and an entirely different Zim walked out.
"Master? Where'd you go?"
"I'm here! It's just my disguise! Now, for you, I'm thinking maybe a dog."
"Can I be a mongoose?"
Zim picked a suitable dog shape and put Gir inside the disguise capsule, and after a few seconds walked out…
a green dog with a zipper in the middle.
"Well, what done is done. Now, to speed up the learning-about-the-Earth process… Computer! Search for any form of education I could access!"
"Search for education initiated."
And, after a while, a TV transmission was received, showing a classroom with the teacher, kids and another TV inside.
"Dib! You're late again!" Ms. Bitters shouted to the TV again. She had freaky cyan glasses and a long black robe which looked as if it belonged to an eldritch abomination. "I once wanted to be an astronaut. Now I see I shouldn't have given this up."
"Wasn't there an implosion on your ship?"
"Really? I guess then I should have been a cosmonaut. The way it is in the Soviet Union."
Just then, the classroom started honking and a TV descended from the ceiling.
"Class, another hopeless appendage to the student body has caught our horrible transmission. It's traceable to the Pacific Ocean." The TV turned on, showing Zim.
"Hopeless kid, say something now, because after this moment… you can raise the robotic hand on the TV to ask a question. BUT THAT'S IT." Zim's TV grew out a robotic hand which then flailed around an accidentally hit the screen showing Zim. Everyone started laughing.
"SILENCE! Now, introduce yourself."
"My name's Zim, and I'm a perfectly normal human being. Just don't point at me, and we'll get along just fine."
And just as these words echoed throughout the classroom, Dib's robotic hand pointed at Zim's screen, poking Ms. Bitters in her side.
"That was rude, Dib. One more poking and your TV is going to the aquarium over there."
Dib's hand returned to its normal position. "Okay, Ms. Bitters."
And just as that, Zim's hand went up. "Ms. Bitters. In the case of a full-blown alien invasion, how much do you think this planet's defenses are prepared?"
The teacher ignored him. "So, as I was saying, we're just doomed. Doomed. DOOMED!"
But the time in America ticked to three o'clock, the bell rang, the class went flying across the town, and both Zim and Dib's screens showed static.
"I was right. He IS an alien. Just something I could expose." Dib thought to himself, staring at the static.
"Just don't forget to deliver this to Bellevue, Washington, okay?" Gaz gave Dib a letter, directed towards Valve Software.
"Okay, Gaz." Dib nodded and left for Earth again.
Zim looked at the 3D vector graphic view of his island. "Sentient life still not found."
"Very well. What a perfect operation base. Would have sucked to land in the middle of a city."
As Zim was sunk in his fantasies about how the Earth would eventually be his, the house started honking.
"Incoming missile detected. Composition resembles that of a manned spaceship. Affiliation: the Moon."
"The filthy humans also have settled on the Moon?" Zim shouted loudly as he was going to his Voot in case the base blew up. The lawn gnomes below also revealed laser guns hidden in them.
As Zim was now flying, the spaceship suddenly stopped and in its pilot seat sat a kid he already knew.
"Dib-stink! What are you doing here?"
"Now now, Zim. I can clearly see that you are an alien."
"No I'm not. Perfectly normal human being just as you."
"How about the green skin?"
"It's, um, a skin condition."
"The lack of ears? Is that the skin condition as well?"
Zim looked psychologically defeated. "Yes."
But he also pressed a button on the Cruiser and the lawn gnomes aimed and shot at Dib's return pod.
Dib started flying away in his damaged pod while Zim was trying to catch him. They flew faster and faster, over the US, the Great Lakes, Canada, the Atlantic, western and southern Africa, the Indian Ocean, the inhabited part of Australia and finally back to Zim's house, an endeavor that lasted mere ten minutes once again.
But the second Zim and Dib had made the journey of 40,000 kilometers, or 14,000,000 Galactic Species-Wide Units, they made a crucial mistake. Both the United States and the Soviet Union regarded the Voot Cruiser and the return pod as nuclear missiles, and sent nuclear missiles themselves so they could explode mid-air, rather than devastating the surface. Sometime during their second journey across the Earth, the nuclear missiles finally approached Voot, return pod and each other, and hit each other, encasing Zim and Dib in a nuclear explosion once again and making them lose each other's sight.
"You will pay, Zim! One day I WILL expose you." Dib's voice said as he was going back to the Moon, and Zim was going back to the Pacific.
Almighty Tallest Red and Purple were drinking soda in the Massive. The spaceship was nothing if not full with snacks. The Irkens, quite obviously the tallest of their kind, one with red eyes and the other with purple ones, were also staring at the screen when someone spoke over the intercom.
"Incoming transmission from Earth."
"What is Earth?"
The screen then cut to Zim in his base.
"Invader Zim, reporting."
Purple dropped his soda can. "You're alive?"
"Oh yes, my Tallest. Been a quite hard day here on Earth. Been the subject of two nuclear explosions. This nuclear gun could sure be used to destroy Earth. But other than that, the mission so far goes well. Have a nice time, my Tallest. Invader Zim, signing off."
The screen went static. Red and Purple were watching at it, then at each other, in pure shock.