This piece of nonsense was inspired by a couple of fics from other writers and by Lori taking something out of the trunk that Danny didn't know was there. Posted from the Hilton Hawaiian Village.
26 Things Danny Found in the Camaro's Trunk
A is for ammo. Lots and lots of ammo.
"Steve, you have ammunition for weapons we don't even own!"
"Can't be too careful, Danny."
B is for bullets.
C is for cartridges.
"It's only a few boxes."
"A few dozen!"
D is for dynamite.
"Dynamite? Kinda old school for you, isn't it, babe?"
"I'd used up the C4."
E is for explosives.
"Even more explosives?"
"I got more C4."
F is for first aid kit.
"At least that makes sense, considering all the ammo and the explosives, sitting next to the gas tank of MY CAR!"
G is for grenades.
"You've got incendiary grenades, fragmentation, smoke, tear gas and flash bangs — it's a regular smorgasbord of death and dismemberment. Maybe we need a bigger first aid kit."
H is for a half-dozen handguns
"Automatics, revolvers, how many kinds of gun do you need?"
"Gotta use up all that ammo, Danno."
I is for ibuprofen.
"That's for you, Danny. You look like you're getting a headache."
J is for jack.
"Finally something that belongs in a car trunk!"
"And they're also good for ..."
"Don't tell me! I don't want to know."
K is for K-Bar, likewise for knife.
"Lethal, yet safer than so much of the other stuff in my car."
L is for lifejacket.
"Because Danno don't swim."
"I swim. You know I swim. You've seen me swim. Why do you keep saying that?"
"Can you swim 10 miles, half of it underwater, and tread water for two days in open ocean?"
"So you're saying that, really, only whales and dolphins can swim?"
M is for MREs.
"Just in case. You have to keep your energy up. Always be prepared."
"Great. My partner is the Boy Scout of Doom."
N is for night vision goggles.
"Gotta see what I'm shooting at."
O is for oil.
"Hey, that belongs in a car, doesn't it?"
"Yes, Steven, it does. But this isn't the kind the Camaro takes. It's for an older car, like, oh, I don't know, like a Mercury Marquis?"
"I meant to take it out when we got to my place, but we had that thing, and I forgot."
"I'll remember for you. I'll even help you take it out. In fact, I'll help you take a lot of this stuff out. Think of how much faster you can drive without all this junk in the trunk. I can't believe I just said that."
P is for photo.
"A picture of Grace?'
"Yes, something I put in MY car. To remind me of what I have to lose when I follow you into a hail of bullets. … What, no snide comment?"
"About Grace? Never."
"Occasionally you show glimpses of self-preservation. Occasionally."
Q is for Quikrete.
"Cement? Why do you have a tub of cement in my trunk?"
"Actually, it's quick setting concrete. You can use it for a lot of things …"
"Na na na! I'm not listening!"
R is for rope.
"In case you want to tie anyone else to the hood of your car, Danny."
"That's very thoughtful."
S is for semi-automatics.
"I know. Using up the ammo."
T is for tire.
"Hey! Where's the spare tire?"
"There wasn't room for it with the grenades and ammo."
"Then why did you keep the jack?"
"Because they're also good for ..."
U is for Uzi
"An Uzi, James Bond?"
"It belonged to Joe. I didn't get a chance to return it."
V is for vest.
"Safety first, Danny."
"I can't believe you actually said that with a straight face."
W is for water.
"It's important to stay hydrated. And you really don't want to eat MREs without it, trust me."
X is for X-rays.
"Wait, are those my X-rays?"
"Yes, Steven. They're the X-rays of your skull after you tried to head butt a speeding car into submission."
"I only chipped a tooth."
"Proving you've got a thick skull like I've always said."
"Wait, you keep those for the same reason you keep that photo of Gracie, don't you? As a reminder of what you could lose following me into a hail of bullets."
"Correction. A reminder of what I could lose if I don't follow you."
"That's so sweet."
Y is for yellow crime scene tape.
"We go through a lot of that, you know."
"Believe me, Steven, I know!"
Z is for zip ties.
"Because, if you won't let me shoot them, I've got to do something with the perps we catch."
"I won't argue with that. But do you really need the jumbo economy max pack?"
"We catch a lot of perps. Because we're such a good team."
"We are that. I have to say I'm a little surprised, Steve."
"Because of how much ordnance I've stored in the trunk?"
"Because it wasn't as much as I expected."
"That's because the rest of it is in the glove compartment."