Hello! This is my first attempt in the Glee fandom, and I chose Furt because I've always loved the brotherly aspect of them. I had a lot of fun writing this, and hope you have just as much fun reading it. Enjoy!
It had started out simple enough. A small spat between stepbrothers over leaving the empty milk carton in the fridge.
"Seriously, Finn," Kurt had said in annoyance. "Throw out the milk carton when it's empty. Don't put it back in the fridge."
"Dude," Finn had responded. "Stop being on my back about everything all the time."
"I'm just trying to watch out for the health and well being of this family." Kurt's snarky reply made Finn even more irritated with his stepbrother.
"And how is bitching about me not throwing out the milk carton 'watching out for the health and well being of the family?" He asked irritably.
"Watch your language." Kurt snapped. "And I'll have you know that keeping the empty milk carton in the fridge makes the rest of the family irritated and therefore stressed and therefore unhealthy. Not to mention the fact that we all go to pour ourselves a nice bowl of cereal, or in my case, create a honey and milk facial mask, only to find that some idiot has left the empty milk carton in the fridge, and because of that, nobody bothered to get milk while they were getting groceries."
"Wow," Finn had said in annoyance. "You're being dramatic over nothing. I swear, sometimes you're even more divaey than Rachel."
"Divaey is not a word, Finn," Kurt hissed. "And since you don't seem to care about the health and well being of the family, I'll be sure to stop watching out for you."
With that final statement, Kurt had stalked out of the kitchen.
Finn had thought that this argument was over, and the day passed. Kurt, on the other hand, felt that he needed to prove his point and did so by stealing and hiding all of Finn's socks.
"Dude!" Finn had yelled the next morning when he had discovered his missing articles of clothing. "Where'd you put them?"
"Oh I don't think I should tell you, Finn," Kurt had replied cheekily, grinning smugly. "I've stopped caring about your wellbeing, remember?"
And Finn was forced to wear sandals to school that day.
(Kurt 1; Finn 0)
Now Finn, being the kind of boy that he is, could not just accept that Kurt had stolen his socks to prove a point, and instead spent all of that day's English and Math classes plotting revenge. And at last he had it. That evening, while Kurt was over at Mercedes' house, Finn snuck into Kurt's bedroom and examined the closet, which was organized with Emma Pillsbury like perfection by colour and then by designer. At last, Finn spotted what he needed: the hanger holding all of the fashion conscious boy's scarves. Chuckling to himself, Finn snuck back to his bedroom, where he put the scarves in the very back of his disorganized closet.
It wasn't until the next morning that Kurt discovered his missing scarves and yelled, "Finn!"
"Yes?" Finn asked innocently.
"Where the hell did you put my scarves?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Finn lied.
"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about, dear brother," Kurt hissed. "And if you don't give me back my scarves, I swear I'll castrate you."
"I'll give you back your scarves when you give me back my socks."
Kurt just shook his head. "You just started something that you can't finish, Finnegan."
"My name ISN'T Finnegan!" Finn yelled angrily.
Kurt didn't reply to that, but instead said, "It's on."
(Kurt 1; Finn 1)
The next day, Finn knew that Kurt was planning something because he kept grinning every time he looked at his stepbrother. And it continued all day; at breakfast, at lunch, during Glee, while they were having their after school snack. All day. What he was planning, however, Finn had no idea.
It wasn't until he headed up to his room to play his X-Box after school that Finn realized why Kurt was so pleased with himself. Sometime the previous night, Kurt had snuck on to Finn's x-box and not only deleted the high scores, but changed everything on the device itself so that instead of playing the game, Finn had to begin again, setting things up just how he liked it.
By the time he was finished, his mother had called him for dinner. Finn cursed as he made his way down to the dinner table.
"Watch your language, Finn." Carole reprimanded.
"Yeah Finn," Kurt replied, smirking. "How were your video games?" The smugness in his voice was ridiculously irritating to Finn and Finn shot him a glare to which Kurt responded with a look of self satisfaction that clearly read: I win.
Finn glowered at his stepbrother and turned to his plate of spaghetti, fuming and plotting his revenge.
(Kurt 2; Finn 1)
After dinner, Finn volunteered to do the dishes. After looking at him suspiciously, the rest of the family just shrugged and proceeded to do their own things.
After completing the dishes, Finn had what he wanted: the kitchen to himself so that he could successfully gather the necessary ingredients for his revenge.
An hour later, a stroke of pure luck came from Finn in the form of Mercedes Jones. The diva who was best friends with Kurt had invited Kurt to her house for a couple hours, stating that she had a fashion emergency. Naturally, Kurt had rushed over at once, leaving his bedroom alone and therefore leaving Finn able to put his latest plan into action.
When he was finished, Finn carefully ensured that everything was exactly how his step-brother had left it before sneaking back to his own room, waiting for the reaction.
When Kurt arrived home, Finn had to stifle the snort that he was holding back. Thankfully he was in his room and nobody had noticed. And in half an hour, when Kurt let out a bloodcurdling shriek, Finn knew that his plan had been a success.
Burt and Carole rushed to Kurt's bedroom, sure that there had been some form of accident. What they didn't expect to find was a green-faced Kurt. Literally.
Finn's plan was ingenious, really. While Kurt was at Mercedes' house, Finn had snuck into Kurt's room and unscrewed one of Kurt's many moisturizers. He dipped his fingers into the lotion that already had a slight greenish tinge to it. Then he opened up the food colouring he had stolen from the kitchen earlier and carefully allowed two drops to fall in. Using a cotton swab, he mixed the lotion around and quickly got rid of the evidence. When Kurt went to use his moisturiser, his face turned out green.
"Finn!" Kurt's voice had screeched like a banshee through the house. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Why would you mess with my moisturizer? Now my face is this hideous shade of green and you know how hard it is to take food colouring off! And you've ruined this whole pot of moisturizer. God, I hate you so much right now!"
"What makes you think it was me?" Finn asked innocently, smirking at his brother.
Kurt looked at Finn desperately, hoping for green stained hands or something similar but found his brother with nothing incriminating. "I just—KNOW!" Kurt screeched. "Now get out of my room before I kill you."
Finn just laughed and bowed out of the room, grinning from ear to ear.
(Kurt 2; Finn 2)
Finn wondered if Kurt had given up. Days had passed without anything. Of course, Finn had been on his toes, looking for a prank of epic proportions. When nothing came, he started to wonder what was taking his step-brother so long to retaliate. Kurt would never take the moisturizer thing lying down.
The Wednesday after his colouring-the-moisturizer plan, almost three days later, Finn began to panic. He didn't want to let his guard down because that was what Kurt wanted. But he wondered if he was just being paranoid. Maybe Kurt had taken the high road and forgotten about their little battle. He didn't know if he could trust his brother.
Thursday morning, when Finn opened up his football bag, he caught a whiff of something. It smelled like roses. His football gear smelled like flowers.
"Crap," he muttered. "KURT!" He yelled.
"Yes?" Kurt came into the room, smiling innocently.
"You made my football gear smell like roses?"
"You have no proof," Kurt said coolly.
"But I know it was you!" Finn was frustrated now. "What are the guys going to say? I smell like a freaking girl!"
"Not my problem," Kurt sniffed. "Maybe it'll help you and your Neanderthal friends smell better."
"They'll beat the crap out of me!"
"Why did you do it?" Finn asked, "I mean, stuff at home is one thing, but making my stuff smell girly and having me beat up is another."
"I told you, Finnegan. Don't start something you can't finish."
Finn glared at his brother, picked up his bag and stalked to football practice.
"Dude!" Puck had said when he smelled Finn's stuff. "Why do you smell like an old lady?"
"Kurt," Finn mumbled. "He somehow made my bag smell like roses because I put food colouring in his moisturizer because he erased everything on my x-box because I stole his scarves because he stole my socks because I put the empty milk carton back in the fridge."
All the boys looked at him in confusion.
"Wait—let me get this straight," Sam said. "You left the milk carton in the fridge so you're now having an epic prank war?"
"You let the fairy put lady crap in your bag?" Azimio laughed loudly.
Finn, Puck, Sam and Mike shot Azimio a dirty look, but refrained from saying anything and Finn looked at the ground in irritation.
(Kurt3; Finn 2)
Finn got home that evening still annoyed at his brother for the stupid prank causing him embarrassment on the team. But he was starting to run out of ideas. After a couple hours of thinking, he was finally able to create a plan that would hopefully make Kurt think twice before making Finn smell like roses again. Thanking his lucky stars that Kurt was out again, he tried to open the smaller boy's bedroom door. When it didn't open due to the lock Kurt had recently installed on the door, Finn simply smirked and pulled out a bobby pin that he had—ahem—"borrowed" from Quinn when he was over at her house. Jiggling it for a few seconds, Finn managed to open the door and creep silently into the bedroom, his arms laden with his supplies.
He took a glance at the bed and grinned. Kurt's pyjamas were already laid out on the bed, meaning that he likely wouldn't enter his closet until the following morning. Perfect.
Hoping with everything he had that Kurt wouldn't choose that moment to arrive, Finn methodically took all of Kurt's clothes—except the ones he wore in sophomore year when he was pretending to be straight to impress his dad—and replaced them with old flannel shirts, puffy vests and baggy jeans. Then he took the garbage bags (there were at least five) filled with clothes into his bedroom and added the stolen scarves to it, and shoved them under the bed. Then he placed some of his own dirty clothes around the edges of the bed, knowing that Kurt wouldn't dare touch Finn's horribly unfashionable and unsanitary clothes.
Finn went to bed hours later with a content feeling in his stomach.
And when he woke the following morning at six AM to a loud screech, Finn knew that Kurt had discovered Finn's latest masterpiece.
"Where the hell did all my clothes go?" Kurt had yelled furiously at Finn, his eyes flashing in anger. "Where the fuck did you put them?"
Finn knew that Kurt was angry because he never swore. He said it made him sound no better than the Neanderthals of the school or something like that.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Finn replied innocently.
"You do SO know what I'm talking about," Kurt's voice was still climbing, reaching gigantic decibels and likely waking the entire neighbourhood. "WHERE ARE MY FUCKING CLOTHES?"
Finn took a step back, slightly worried about his step-brother's sanity. "I'm not telling," he said bravely, covering his face with his hands immediately following that statement.
"You will tell me at once or else I will ensure that you never have children and that you will be able to hit notes higher than both me and Rachel combined."
Finn gulped and ran out of the room towards the kitchen where Burt and Carole were waiting, looking at Finn in worry.
"What's going on down there?" Burt asked. "Kurt doesn't swear. I figured it had something to do with this little prank war you two are having, but if he's screaming like that it must be pretty serious."
"I may or may not have taken some of his clothes and forced him to wear my clothes for the day," Finn smirked.
"Finn Christopher Hudson, you did not!" Carole gasped while Burt chuckled.
"It's all right, Carole," he said, "Don't punish Finn. I'm sure Kurt did something equally as horrendous to deserve it."
"He made my football gear smell like roses."
Carole looked at her son in confusion while Burt chuckled again. "That's a pretty serious offence, kid. All right, keep his clothes for today, but promise me you'll give them back tonight?"
Finn nodded. "I was planning on that anyway. I'm going to need my clothes back."
"Finn," Carole had sighed, "What am I going to do with you?"
"Love me forever and bake me cookies?" Finn asked cheerfully and Carole laughed.
"Just don't let it get too out of hand." Was Carole's final warning before leaving the kitchen. Burt followed suit and when Finn heard the loud steps coming up the stairs, he quickly took off running up to his room, ignoring his half-finished cereal and vowing to get something on the way to school.
"Kurt!" Mercedes had exclaimed when she saw her best friend dressed so blandly. "What happened? You're not trying to pretend to be straight again, are you?"
"No," the usually pristine looking boy replied. "My idiot of a step-brother decided that in revenge for making his football gear smell infinitely better using roses, he should replace all of my fine articles of clothing with his horrendous, cheap, unfashionable clothing.
Finn, who was listening from his locker a few away, winced. That hurt a little, even though he knew it was just Kurt being Kurt,
He knew that he should be expecting something big very soon.
(Kurt 3; Finn 3)
Finn stayed on edge the entire next few days. He wouldn't touch anything that Kurt had given him, had washed the clothes that had been in Kurt's hands three times and hid away in his room, hoping to avoid his stepbrother at all costs.
He knew that Kurt was up to something because he knew that messing with clothes was serious business and that Kurt would see revenge no matter what. Like Kurt, he got a lock on his door. He hoped that this would keep Kurt at bay, praying that his stepbrother didn't know how to pick locks.
Tuesday evening, four days after the clothing prank, Finn began to feel itchy. It started out a simple itch on the head, but soon spread to his neck, back, arms and legs. Soon he was scratching all over and would not stop. His skin was red and raw-looking. He knew that this could only be itching powder. He had felt the symptoms before when he had used it on his friends years ago, but never this badly.
"How the hell did you get me to itch everywhere?" Finn asked his brother, who was reading a book quietly in the living room when Finn came running in, still scratching.
"Itching powder, Finn. You can purchase it at any local joke shop or online."
"I know it's itching powder, smartass, but I want to know where you put it to make me feel like this!"
"Where didn't I put it is the better question," Kurt said thoughtfully, smirking happily, obviously feeling as though his clothing had been avenged.
"I said, where is it?" Finn yelled as he continued to scratch his head, similar behaviour to that of a gorilla.
"Well," Kurt said slowly. "Let's see. I put it in your shampoo, body wash, after shave, pillow case, sheets, shoes and pyjamas. I'm surprised you've only felt the effects now. I put it all in last night."
"I can't believe you did this!" Finn yelled again. "Why'd you have to take it this far? Not cool, man."
"No, Finn," Kurt snarled, "What's not cool is you forcing me to wear god-awful clothes for an entire day and then making me reorganize my closet because you mixed everything up when you shoved those clothes so carelessly into the garbage bags."
"Yeah, but that didn't physically hurt you," Finn argued.
"It has scarred me for life," Kurt sniffed.
"You're acting like a drama queen again!" Finn huffed.
"Maybe you should just give up then, Finnegan," Kurt said.
"MY NAME IS NOT FINNEGAN!" Finn roared. "Quit calling me that!"
"I'll quit calling you that when you surrender."
"Never going to happen!" Finn exclaimed as he continued to scratch. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and get rid of my stupid itching before I start to bleed all over the house from scratching."
(Kurt 4; Finn 3)
Finn knew something drastic had to be done to make the score even again. He knew that he had to do something worse than stealing all of Kurt's clothes or putting food colouring in his moisturizer. He had to do something that could only result in Kurt's surrender in this war.
But what? He was running out of ideas. He could pull the usual stuff, toilet paper his room; hand in water while sleeping etcetera, but that just wasn't enough for Finn. He needed something truly impossible to top. One idea came to him immediately, but it didn't seem epic enough to end a war. But it was a start until Finn thought of something better.
He had to wait until the next day after school to get his supplies and had to wait even longer until everybody in the house was fast asleep.
Creeping out of the house and into the driveway where Kurt's car was parked and supplies in hand, Finn was grinning ear to ear. This was a simple prank that wouldn't cause any lasting damage, but it was enough to tie him over until he could think of a more complex plan.
Giggling quietly to himself, Finn took the first can of shaving cream out of his bag and squirted the entire thing onto the windshield of his brother's car—one of Kurt's most prized possessions, he might add. Then he carefully spread it evenly over all of the other windows. He blew up some balloons and tied them to every available place and tied three rolls of streamers all over the bottom. Then, finally, in the shaving cream on the windshield, he wrote with his finger, Revenge is Sweet.
Then he cleaned up his mess so that there was no evidence left that it was him, and put his supplies back under his bed and curled up in bed, contentedly falling asleep.
And the shrieks that woke him the next morning only made him smile harder.
(Kurt 4; Finn 4)
Finn didn't know what to expect, seeing as how they had already done so much to each other. But he knew that his stepbrother probably had a plan. He waited for something to happen, and waited some more.
One day, about two days after the car incident, he heard footsteps from behind him as he made a grilled cheese sandwich in the kitchen. He whipped around, fists already raised, ready to defend himself from whatever Kurt's evil master plan was. "I swear to God, if you hurt me in any way I'll punch you in the face."
But it was only his mom.
"Finn, Honey," she said. "What's the matter?"
"Sorry mom," Finn mumbled. "I thought you were Kurt."
"And what would make you think that you needed to defend yourself against your stepbrother?"
"I don't know," Finn said sarcastically. "How about world war three that's going on here?"
"You've taken this thing pretty far," Carole said seriously. "Maybe you should just surrender."
"And give him that satisfaction? No way, mom."
Carole rolled her eyes. "Finn, you're being a bit childish about this."
"HE'S being childish."
"You both are. You're seventeen for goodness' sake!"
"I'll give up when he surrenders."
"You're impossible," Finn's mother sighed.
Finn ignored her and turned to flip his grilled cheese, only to find it ruined by paint that was smeared all over the grill.
"Kurt," he muttered. Kurt knew that Finn was the only one who used that grill after he melted a shoe on it that one time, and had used that to his advantage, waiting until Finn was hungry before striking. It was evil.
"Finn?" Carole asked worriedly, sniffing the air. "What's that smell?"
"Kurt's latest prank," Finn muttered, holding up his ruined sandwich. "I can't even make another one! That was the last of the bread."
"How's your grilled cheese, Finn?" Kurt's smug voice came from the doorway as Carole left the room, sighing deeply as she went.
"Harsh, man," Finn said. "But you just wait. Revenge is mine. You'll never win this battle."
"I beg to differ on that front. I am a Hummel and Hummels never lose."
Finn tossed the ruined sandwich at the smaller boy, yelled in irritation when he dodged it and stalked out of the room, intent on revenge.
(Kurt 5; Finn 4)
The next few weeks were terrifying for anyone who knew the two. They were dead set on pranking each other in the most humiliating fashion possible. Finn had pulled the old whoopee cushion trick and managed to get Kurt at least five times in one day. Kurt had retaliated by hiding all of Finn's left shoes. Finn had then managed to steal all of Kurt's musicals on DVD. Kurt followed by hiding all of Finn's video games. Then they started to get more extravagant. Kurt had put the photo of Finn potty training all over school where everyone could see, and Finn responded by finding the picture of a naked toddler Kurt in his father's tire shop and posting it all around school. As Finn had stated to his mother, this was world war three.
Carole and Burt Hummel lived in fear of everything in their home after Kurt had spiked Finn's dinner with super-hot sauce. The entire Glee club sat well away from both of the boys for fear of being accidental targets, especially after Finn had rigged the choir room door to tip water over Kurt's head as he walked in, the end result splashing not only Kurt, but also Brittany and Mercedes.
Life was tense for everyone who knew the two stepbrothers. Nobody even knew if either of them remembered why they were fighting each other, but at the moment, all they wanted was for them to get along again. The pranks were getting old.
(Kurt 10; Finn 10)
"Ahem," Mr Schuester said as he began Glee practice three weeks after the whoopee cushions. "We have a couple of visitors today who are going to help us with our plan, guys."
"What plan?" Kurt asked. "Why wasn't I informed of it?"
"Hey guys," Burt Hummel said, entering the room, his wife's hand in his.
"Dad?" Kurt asked at the same time Finn said,
"Kurt, Finn, we're staging an intervention," Carole said. "We've all agreed that we've had quite enough of this war. You have accidentally harmed all of us or made us all fear for our lives and sanities over the past few weeks, and it needs to stop. We're all begging you to form a truce and declare a tie."
Finn glared at everyone. "We haven't harmed any of you—well, except for the bucket."
"What about when Kurt made your pants rip?" Santana asked. "I was scarred for life when I had to see your lumpy, Pillsbury Dough Boy ass."
Everyone rolled their eyes.
"Why can't you just make up?" Asked Sam.
"Please?" Brittany asked. "I don't like it when people fight."
"Yeah!" Mercedes added. And I don't like being scared to be around you two."
Finn looked at his stepbrother, feeling a little ashamed at how he had treated his family and friends in order to get even on Kurt. Kurt looked like he felt the same way. Kurt stared into Finn's eyes and said.
"Okay, I think we're even right now, anyway. 10 to 10, I believe. What do you say? Truce?"
Finn smiled. "Truce."
He took Kurt's hand and they shook before pulling each other into a brotherly hug.
"Wait—that seemed a bit too easy," Burt said suspiciously.
"Well, I was running out of ideas," Finn admitted sheepishly.
"Me too," Kurt replied. "I was resorting to googling ideas."
"Hey! Me too!" Finn said.
"That explains why they deteriorated in originality as time went on," Rachel said.
Everyone laughed again.
"Do you even remember what you were fighting about?" Puck asked in amusement.
"YES!" the boys shouted in unison.
"It was because—because—" Kurt cut off. He couldn't remember.
"It was because Kurt—"
"Finn did something stupid...I guess I don't remember."
"Hey! I resent that!"
Everyone laughed again, and things were normal again. Until...
"FINN CHRISTOPHER HUDSON, GET YOUR ASS IN HERE AND GET RID OF THE EMPTY MILK CARTON!"
Well? What did you think? Reviews are love :)