The Couture Complexity


Penny let out an aggravated scream, her fingers scrambling and pulling with frustration at the drawstring of her pants. She had found before going out for her yoga session that the pants were a lot more comfortable for that type of movement if they stayed on, and so she had tightly tied the cord above the slope of her hipbone. As an added bonus, the JUICY logo on the back really stood out when it wasn't half hanging off her butt and instead cupped it tightly.

But now the cord was stuck and she had tied it just a little too well because she couldn't seem to wriggle out of them either. She was half a second away from cutting them, but, well, they were Juicy Couture and they were new. Penny was a little opposed to debasing new property like that, especially something that cost $120.

Not that she paid full price for them. Oh no, she didn't have that kind of money, but it was the principle of the matter. In fact, the reason they were hanging off her, when the basic idea of Juicy Couture pants was to never hang, was that they were a size too large, but she had found them like-new at a second hand store downtown and she did like her ostentatious symbols of being a little wealthier than she was.

She tried wriggling out again, but no, the tied drawstring ended up digging into her skin and turning her thumbs purple from lack of bloodflow when she tried.

She had to go to work in twenty minutes, and it was pretty unrealistic to think that her manager wouldn't notice track pants on underneath her uniform.

Penny stomped across the hallway and flung open the door. Leonard jumped at her sudden appearance, tea going all over his front. Sheldon didn't even look up from his computer.

"At least close the door behind you," was all he had to say about her sudden appearance with what sounded like a long, aggravated sigh.

"I'll shut it if you do, Sheldon," she sniped back. "I need your help Leonard. And I'd appreciate you taking the situation at face value and not reading into it too much and like rambling on about the implications once I leave—"

Penny was pretty sure Sheldon snorted at that, but she was on too much of a roll to pay much attention.

"—but I need you to untie these pants for me. They're stuck, and I can't see well enough to do it and cutting them off is a last resort."

"Sure Penny," Leonard agreed, almost eagerly, getting up from his seat and approaching her. He stared down at her bared stomach with a squinty look before tentatively reaching out. His fingers were gentle, but no matter what angle he approached it, he couldn't fumble the knot untied.

"I'm sorry," Leonard finally said five minutes later. "I'll get a pair of scissors."

Penny gasped and withdrew. "These are a hundred and fifty dollar pants!" she exclaimed, extremely offended. "You can't just cut them off me."

"I can't do it Penny, I don't think anyone can. That knot is too tight."

"I beg to differ, Leonard," Sheldon said without looking up. "It is a simple matter of negating the coefficient of friction enough to allow for the material to slide."

"Butter?" Leonard asked, confused.

"Two hundred dollar pants!" Penny exclaimed, pointing to the general vicinity of the knot – ok, more like her crotch, but it wasn't on purpose!

Before Sheldon could answer, she planted herself in front of him in his computer chair, hands on her hips. "Prove it," she dared him. "No butter or anything that will stain," she added as an afterthought.

"I don't need to prove it. Scientifically it has already been proven. Repeating such an experiment would be on par with Leonard's work and is below my intellect."

"Hey!" Leonard exclaimed, face scrunching at the insult.

"And I believe it says something that he was unsuccessful," Sheldon concluded.

"HEY!" Leonard exclaimed again.

"Oh," Penny laughed breezily, trying not to grit her teeth. "I see. You don't actually think you can, so you don't want to set yourself up for failure. I understand."

Sheldon took the bait like she knew he would. His fingers curled around the drawstring, knuckles brushing against the velour and sometimes her skin. His head was bowed downwards, making it so she could only see the curve of his neck.

He huffed impatiently, shifting the position of his hands, and the air blew against her exposed midriff, warm and surprising. She didn't know why she expected him not to breathe, or for it to feel dry and cool if he did, but it raised goosebumps along her flesh and she leaned her torso closer to him so he could get better access – to the pants!

Sheldon was more suited to this, Penny reflected, watching him as he attempted to disentangle the knot with his fingers. They were long and dexterous, and he had the ability to remove himself from the situation and the frustration that came with it. It took patience and finesse, and though Penny didn't usually think Sheldon embodied those qualities, well the knot was slowly loosening beneath his skilled touch.

And suddenly it just let go, surprising her with the release.

Her pants automatically fell with nothing to hold them up. They didn't go far, only about an inch further down her hips, but Sheldon must have thought they would continue down to her ankles because he reflexively reached out and grabbed her hips, both his hands holding her (and her pants) in place. His fingers curved, long and elegant, over the bone and flesh, thumbs pressing into natural hollows and his hands just seemed to fit in a way that wasn't obvious until she experienced it, like every other person to hold her like this didn't have the right hand span in comparison. She looked down, barely breathing as he licked his lips and carefully removed his hands, ensuring that her pants really were staying on.

"Thanks Sheldon," she said, still able to feel the echo of his breath against her stomach. Something was fluttering against that spot, digging deeper with each beat, and if she didn't know differently she would say it was butterflies. "You can help me off with my pants any time," she told him, casually patting his arm as she removed herself from their apartment as quickly as possible.

A/N: What? A ficlet that is basically a euphemism for sexual frustration and foreplay? Would I do that?