After serving a shorter than expected time behind bars, the Wet Bandits were released from prison.
And Marv met a girl who claimed to be a successful twenty-three year old business woman...but she was actually Linnie McCallister, sister of Kevin, who never should have been in the bar on the night she met Marv because actually, she was lying about everything - and she was only seventeen...
But Linnie fell in love with her bad boy Marv Merchants, being completely unaware of her brother's involvement with the Wet Bandits a few years before, because Kevin had kept that to himself...
Then Marv found out the truth about Linnie, but ignored Harry's warnings to keep away because she was too young for him and a McCallister, too – Marv was in love and refused to listen. Then Linnie discovered she was pregnant. But Marv had also been keeping secrets – he had a dangerous addiction to heroin that was rapidly spiralling out of control, and when he overdosed and Harry found him just in time, Harry decided to put Marv's life straight once and for all – starting with calling at the McCallister house and telling Linnie that Marv was dead because he believed Marv would drag her and the child down into the gutter with him and they were better off without him...
Then Harry told Marv a lie - that Linnie had terminated the pregnancy because she wanted to start a new life without him- and she didn't want to waste any more time on a junkie.
Then he tracked down the dealer who sold him the drugs and gave him a savage beating, threatening to kill him if he ever dealt drugs to Marv again.
But a short while later two men turned up to avenge the beating Harry had given to the dealer. When Marv found out that Harry was left fighting for his life with a bullet in his head, he took one look at the damage done to his best friend and that was enough to make Marv decide to give up the drugs forever...
Fifteen years later, Harry and Marv are closer than ever and Marv has devoted his life to caring for Harry, who never fully recovered from the shooting. Then Marv bumps into Kevin McCallister, who is now a grown man in his late twenties, who is shocked to discover the former Wet Bandit is still alive – and even more shocked when he finds out that Marv is now drug free and has completely turned his life around. When Marv learns that Linnie kept the baby, now a fifteen year old girl called Bethany – he wonders if they would be better off to carry on thinking he's dead after all these years – but Kevin tells Marv that Linnie has never forgotten him and has told their daughter all about him...
While Marv considers if he should see his daughter and comes to terms with Harry's reasons for lying all those years ago, he gets a call and has to go off on some urgent business – and asks Kevin to look after Harry while he is away.
At first Kevin refuses, thinking Harry probably still hates him. But Marv explains that since the shooting, Harry's personality has changed – and he has no memories of his days as a Wet Bandit. Then Kevin sees just how much love and devotion Harry and Marv share, and decides to stay with Harry to help out.
But while Marv is away, bisexual Kevin finds himself increasingly drawn towards Harry Lyme, who is a very charismatic older man despite the damage the bullet did to him – and nothing like the mean Wet Bandit he used to be. He tries to forget that he overheard Marv telling him how much he loved him, and the two of them begin a relationship – but Marv won't be out of town forever and Kevin knows what he has with Harry is not destined to last, because Harry is with Marv – and Marv Merchants will never let him go...
Warnings: Contains slash and adult situations and some strong language and references to drug addiction.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, this is a work of fanfiction
When Kate McCallister answered the door one afternoon in winter, she was surprised when she saw who the caller was: she didn't know him but he reminded her of a cop who had once called at the house a few years before.
But this guy was no cop. He was short and stocky and bundled up against the cold in a long, heavy winter coat and wore a thick, warm hat. He looked at her with dark eyes that had an expression she couldn't read and spoke plainly, spelling out some facts:
"You're Mrs McCallister, I know that. You don't know me, my name's Harry Lyme. I'm a friend of Marvin Merchants."
Kate's eyes flashed with the kind of anger that could have made them blaze fire as red as her hair as she looked back at the man on her doorstep.
"You're his friend? That older man my daughter thinks she's in love with? You've got a nerve to come around here, Mr Lyme!"
Harry would have yelled back at her, he would have said a lot of things:
Like, Marv was not a smart guy. He had met Linnie in a bar and believed her when she said she was twenty three. Marv would have believed anything that girl said because he fell in love with her.
Harry could have told Kate that he had followed Linnie when she left the house and found out she was actually at college, that she was only seventeen, that she had lied when she told Marv she worked for a fashion magazine in the city.
He would have told her that her daughter was a liar, that she had lied to get into bed with Marv because she liked him so much - and she had broken his heart when he found out the truth, then scared him half to death when she broke the news that now she was pregnant, too...
Harry wanted to shout and yell and cuss and he wouldn't have cared if Kate McCallister had called he cops and had him dragged off to jail for it.
But Harry had only just stopped crying because he had found Marv at home on his bed with the needle still in his arm, Marv had overdosed and Harry had called the paramedics while he had desperately tried to keep him breathing.
Harry had spent an hour at the hospital sobbing as he waited to find out if his best friend would live or die.
Marv had pulled through and Harry had decided as long as he was hooked on drugs, he needed someone else to take charge of his life – and that was what he was doing right now...
He didn't want to lie about this, but Marv needed a new start. He didn't need a seventeen year old girlfriend and a kid – he didn't need to be hated by her family, either. He needed to get over the over dose and get on a methadone program. He needed to get out of the life he was living right now before it killed him.
Heroin was a dirty habit that Marv just couldn't let go of and it was his ticket to an early grave unless Harry did something about it...
So Harry did not yell and cuss at Kate McCallister.
Marv had almost died and right now he felt so hollow and drained all he wanted to do was help him, even if it meant telling the kind of lies he would hate himself for later on...
He took in a breath and found the words were easy to say, far easier than he imagined, because he was doing this for Marv, because somebody needed to save his life and he was the only person who could do that.
"I came here to tell you Marv's dead." He told her, "He died of an over dose. I found him this morning. He was on his bed with a needle in his arm. I called the paramedics but there was nothing they could do, he was too far gone. It was an accident, he didn't mean to do it, he told me the day before that he was looking forward to a future with your daughter. But that's what happens to junkies, they mess up and then they die. I'm sorry for your daughter and that kid she's carrying but he's gone."
Kate's anger vanished as she stood on the doorstep staring at him in shock.
"He was on drugs?"
"He's had a problem on and off for years, Mrs McCallister. He was a heroin addict. He tried to stop, I've lost count of how many times he tried but he just couldn't do it. And now Marv's dead. And I'm sorry for your daughter but she's better off without him – the way he was going, he would have dragged her right down into the gutter with him and that's no life for her or a kid."
Then Harry turned around and walked away without looking back, got into his van and drove away, because the next visit he planned to make was to the bastard who sold Marv the drugs...
While Harry Lyme paid a visit to a drug dealer and beat him senseless with a baseball bat, while the dealer was spitting blood and broken teeth as Harry shook him awake long enough to tell him to stay the hell away from Marv Merchants and never sell him junk again, Linnie McCallister was waking a up after a long sleep that had seen her miss most of the afternoon.
"Hey sis, are you okay?"
Linnie sat up and smiled at Megan.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I never knew being pregnant could make me feel so sleepy all the time."
Megan sat beside her and thought about how crazy her Mom had gone when she found out about Linnie's baby.
"I think Mom's still upset."
"Can't change it now." She stated, "I should have been careful but I wasn't. And I want this baby – I love Marv."
And she smiled.
Megan thought about Linnie and her exciting tales of how she met this sexy older guy in a bar.
"What's he like?" She asked her.
Linnie's eyes lit up as she remembered the night she had walked into a bar and lied about her age – and when she had seen Marv, she had carried on lying after he bought her a drink...
"He's cute." She said dreamily, "He's tall, he's got brown curly hair that almost touches his shoulders and he has the bluest eyes you've ever seen! And he's got great hips, too!"
And so many images flashed through her mid that all she could do was let them run like a series of snap shots: The look in his eyes when he smiled and invited her into his apartment, the way he held her tightly and kissed her, he didn't kiss like the boys she was used to fooling around with; he was a man and he knew what he wanted... She hadn't been sure about going all the way with him at first because she had never gone all the way with anyone before. But Marv had made her feel safe and warm and loved and in his bed she had found out what it felt like to make love for the first time...
She gave a sigh as she thought about the feel of his arms around her, his body entwined with hers and the feeling of peace that she got when she was in his arms smelling nothing but the scent of his skin...
Linnie spoke softly with a smile on her face as she talked about her lover some more.
"He's funny, and he's not too smart - but that just makes him even cuter! I'm not sure what he does for a living, I know he works for Harry but that's all he said."
Megan thought about their Mom and her voice dropped lower.
"I don't think Mom will ever let him in the house, Linnie!"
Her sister shrugged.
"I don't care. Mom doesn't understand. She probably can't remember what it's like to be in love for the first time! And anyway..." Linnie's voice dropped to a whisper, "Marv said in a couple of years when he's got some cash together, me and the baby can go and live with him. He wants to marry me."
Megan's eyes grew wider.
"Don't tell anyone - especially not Kevin. I don't get why he freaked out so much when he found out. What's the big deal, Marv's a nice guy. Kevin doesn't even know him and when I told him all about him he went nuts! He said I was with a really bad guy!"
"Kevin's still a kid." Megan replied, "He doesn't understand this kind of stuff, not like I do."
Then Linnie thought back to a quarrel that had almost broken her up with her boyfriend.
"He was so mad at me when he found out I lied about my age! I don't get what the big deal is – I'm seventeen, so what if I said I was twenty three? I had a fake ID to get into that bar; I was only doing what a lot of girls do, trying to be older so I could have some fun."
"Fun?" Megan looked doubtfully at her pregnant sister.
"And look where it got you."
But there was no trace of regret in Linnie's eyes.
"We'll be okay." She said, feeling very sure of it, "We love each other."
Kevin came out of his room and saw his Mom standing at the top of the stairs.
She paused for a moment and just looked at him and he knew right away she was upset, he could tell at one glance.
"Mom?" He wondered, "What's the matter?"
As he walked over to her, Kate McCallister looked at her youngest son and blinked away tears, feeling thankful that Kevin was a good boy. He didn't get into trouble. Neither did Megan, who always worked hard and got good grades and so had her eldest son Jeff. Buzz had sometimes got into trouble for fighting at school and once he had been in trouble with the law for underage drinking, but that was all – none of her kids had messed up so far... except for Linnie, who had gone through a brief, stupid wild phase and ended up meeting some low life older man who had got her pregnant...she had never planned to meet Marv Merchants, she had wanted nothing to do with him - but it still ripped her heart out to think she would have to be the one to tell her the guy was dead...
And Kevin was looking at her with sweet, kind eyes as he wondered why his Mom was on the brink of tears.
"Mom?" He said again.
Kate shook her head.
"Not now, Kevin. Go to your room, please. I need to talk to Linnie in private."
Kevin just looked at her.
"Why?" He wondered.
"Just go to your room!" She said sharply.
She saw a flicker of resentment in her son's eyes and wished she could take back that sharpness she had inflicted on him, but Kevin turned and went back to his room.
Kate stood in the hallway for a moment, wondering what to say to her daughter. She wondered if it would be better if she waited until later on, when her husband was home from work – but by then Linnie would know something was up and when she found out what was wrong she would feel even worse knowing her mother had held back from telling her...
Kate McCallister took a deep breath and went down the hall and pushed open her daughter's bedroom door.
She saw her sitting on her bed talking with her sister.
Linnie's smile faded as she looked at her Mom, recalling the countless fights they had been through over Marv, over the baby, too... Her mother had been hysterical when she first found out what had happened, but her Dad had been completely opposite; he had spoken to her quietly, reminded her that she was still their daughter, told her she needed their support, not their condemnation... But her father was at work right now and as she caught the look in her Mom's eyes she wondered if she was going to start lecturing her again, criticising her, maybe she had thought of yet another reason to come up here and start yelling at her...
She got ready for it, but instead Kate just walked over to her and sat down on the bed.
Megan had caught the look in her eyes and she was staring at her now.
"What's the matter, Mom?" She asked in a hushed voice.
Kate McCallister looked at Megan and wondered if it might be best of she left the room – then she decided maybe it would be better if she stayed, because after she had told her the news, Linnie would really need her sister because the two of them had always been so close.
Her Mom's voice was shaky as she spoke to her and that scared her because she had never seen her Mom this upset before.
"What?" Linnie said, looking back at her and wondering what had happened. Her Mom looked like she was in shock, as if she had just had some really bad news...
Kate looked into her daughter's eyes and wished she could have handled this situation differently. She wasn't quite sure how differently, but she had never wanted something like this to happen...
"I know you think I hate you for what's happened but I don't honey." She told her, "I just wanted your life to work out differently to this. And I'm so sorry..."
There was a look in her Mom's eyes that Linnie had never seen before and couldn't identify but she knew something bad had happened and that feeling was making her heart race as she wondered what had made her Mom so tearful.
"What's this about?"
Kate took a deep breath. She had never had to break bad news to anyone before and she had never imagined she would have to say something like this to her own daughter.
"Harry Lyme called at the house while you were asleep."
Linnie stared at her.
"Harry called here? Why?"
As much as she had hated a man she had never met for messing up her plans for her daughter's future, she had never wished him dead; Linnie loved him and he was the father of her child. Explaining what had happened felt like the hardest thing she had ever had to do in her life.
"You do know Marv was taking drugs?"
Linnie didn't feel at all surprised y that remark; she had seen the needle marks that scarred his arms had he had told her what that was all about...
"Of course I know!"
Kate stared at her.
"It didn't bother you? Are you completely crazy, Linnie McCallister?"
Linnie gave a sigh.
"Mom, listen to me: Marv has to inject himself every other day. He buys his stuff on the black market because he can't afford medical bills. And he's careful where he buys it and he always uses clean needles, he doesn't take any chances."
Kate felt numb with shock as she looked back at her daughter.
"How the hell can you think that's okay? How can you be so relaxed about it, Linnie?"
Her daughter shook her head.
"Mom, you're acting like he's a junkie or something! He's not! I asked him about the scars and needle marks on his arms and he told me, he's diabetic. He has to inject insulin."
Kate blinked and quickly wiped her eyes. This was getting even harder to explain; Marv hadn't even told her daughter the truth about himself...
"No, Linnie." She said, "He was lying to you, honey. Maybe he just didn't want you to know. Harry Lyme told me Marv was a heroin addict."
Linnie stared at her.
"What? No, that can't be right..."
Then an awful coldness swept over her as she realised what else her mother had just said.
"What do you mean, he was a heroin addict?"
"Harry said last night Marv was talking about how much he was looking forward to the future with you and the baby. But this morning Harry went into his room to wake him up and Marv was on his bed with a needle in his arm. He'd accidentally overdosed, honey."
As Linnie gave a gasp and tears filled her eyes, Kate felt as if her heart was broken - her daughter had really loved that guy and now all she could do was watch her fall apart as she heard the bad news...
"Is...is he okay? Please Mom, tell me he's okay!"
Linnie had almost screamed those words at her.
"No, Linnie, he was in a very bad way and the paramedics couldn't save him. He died, sweet heart. He died this morning."
As Linnie gave a sob Kate reached for her, but Megan reached for her too and it was her sister who she turned to for comfort, sobbing in her arms like she was never going to stop.
It was dark and cold and Marv felt like all he wanted to do was get home, curl up in bed and stay there forever. He shivered as he got into the van and glanced at Harry, who was glaring at him.
"Don't look at me like you want sympathy!" Harry snapped, "Get off that shit Marv!"
As he heard him say those words Marv gave a heavy sigh and sank back against the passenger seat of the van, wishing Harry would understand it just wasn't that easy to do.
Harry slammed the passenger door shut and the jolt seemed to shake his bones. Marv caught sight of his own eyes in the mirror and looked away, knowing Harry was right: He was a junkie and he looked like one, too. He was losing weight, he felt and looked like shit and right now he felt like there was nothing he could do to change that, either.
Harry was still furious with him as he opened the driver's door and got in.
"You don't give a shit about anyone who cares about you, all you care about is your next hit!"
Marv stayed silent.
"Selfish junkie bastard!" Harry snapped, slamming his own door and sending a jolt through Marv's bones for a second time.
Then he switched on the engine and turned on the heater and drove away from the hospital, still calling Marv every name he could think of as they headed for home.
As they drove in the darkness Marv suddenly broke the silence.
Harry Lyme's grip tightened on the steering wheel and he kept his gaze locked on the road ahead.
Marv sounded tearful and Harry felt like it was killing him not to pull over, put his arms around him and hold him tightly. He loved the guy. But he couldn't do it. Marv had to understand what he was doing to himself and the only way to do that was the hard way.
"I still don't understand how you got hooked on that shit in the first place." Harry said.
"I got out of jail before you, I was on my own and I had nowhere to go..."
"So you thought you'd use drugs? You thought you'd get a hypodermic full of fucking junk and shoot up with it?"
"Some guy told me if I took it I wouldn't feel cold when I slept on the street..."
Harry gave a sigh of despair.
"I always knew you were dumb, Marvin. I never thought you'd be that dumb!"
Then Harry spelled out a few facts mixed with well meaning lies to try and shake him out of this mess he was in once and for all.
"You won't be buyin' from that fuckin' dealer you used to go to any more. I went over to his place and beat the crap out of him."
Marv stared at Harry in shock.
"Are you crazy? He'll have you killed!"
"If he comes near me, I'll kill him first." Harry stated, "I've still got a gun. I'll shoot the bastard. I ain't scared of nobody!"
Then he fell silent for a moment, knowing what he was about to say was both a lie and a lie that would break Marv's heart – but as far as he was concerned, there was no other way to handle this - Marv needed a clean break from everything.
"Linnie called the apartment. She told me she heard you're a junkie. I told her it was true because I know you lied to her about your arms when she first asked you. I knew she wasn't dumb; she'd figured it out. And then she said she didn't want to see you again. She said you and her were over - and she's got rid of the baby too. So you can forget about her now, because she doesn't want you any more, Marv."
And Harry looked back at the road. He knew Marv was crying because he could hear him giving little sobs but he couldn't bear to watch him as he cried like that.
"So all you've got left is me." Harry told him. "And I'm not gonna throw your ass out on the street - if you went back to being homeless you'd be dead inside a week. We're going home tonight and tomorrow we're packing up and getting out of town. I've got some friends we can go and stay with. And you're getting on a methadone program."
Marv said nothing, he just carried on sobbing quietly and Harry stayed silent as they carried on driving towards home.
Later on, after they'd got home and Harry had gone to bed, Marv lay on his own bed alone in the darkness as he wondered what he would do tomorrow when he started to get the first of several shades of living hell that would shake his bones and itch at his skin as he was reminded he needed another hit before tomorrow night.
He was trying not to think about it, but Harry had some stuff stashed away downstairs in the garage that was left over from a job they did a while back and if he could shift a couple of radios and maybe a watch he would be okay; he would be able to get his next hit... He didn't want to steal from Harry - and Harry would probably punch him for it when he found out, but right now it was all he could think about. He knew he couldn't get clean; it was too difficult – and it was so much easier to just carry on taking the drugs.
Harry didn't understand.
That was his last thought before he slipped into a heavy sleep.
Marv didn't hear the crash in the early hours of the morning as wood splintered as the door was kicked in.
He didn't hear the fight that went on either but sounds seemed to bounce off him as he slept still feeling half numb, half in a dream-like state.
Then he heard a boom that sounded like an explosion and he sat up, catching his breath as his heart pounded and he shook at the suddenness of it.
Marv got out of bed and opened his door.
"Harry?" He called out.
There was no reply.
It was then he saw the door was wide open and broken, the lock had been busted off and there were splinters of wood all over the carpet.
"Harry?" He said again in a frightened voice.
He went through to the front room because he noticed the door was wide open and there was a bloodstain smeared across the paint work.
Harry was on the floor, lying on his back and he had cuts and bruises and his eyes were closed and he wasn't moving. Then Marv noticed a dark stain spreading rapidly through the carpet as blood pumped out of his head.
"Harry?" He said again, falling to his knees beside him.
Marv cautiously tried to move him, thinking maybe they guys who did this had hit him with something- then he saw the bullet wound.
"No..." He said as he gave a sob and saw the blood on his hands as he let go of him, "Oh no, Harry, please don't die...please..."
Then Marv got up and grabbed the phone. His grip was slippery with blood as he called the ambulance, he grabbed a blanket from the chair and tried to keep him warm, then Marv grabbed some clothes, quickly got dressed and stayed beside him, not caring that he was covered with Harry's blood as he waited for the ambulance and begged him to stay alive.
Linnie McCallister had been crying all afternoon.
Megan had stayed with her, Megan was still with her now, holding her and stroking her hair and telling her that she had to calm down because she had the baby to think of.
Kevin had come out of his room and listened as the conversation unfolded. His Mom was crying too and saying how sorry she was. Then later on his Dad came home and after his parents had spoken together downstairs in a quiet conversation that he didn't catch, they had both gone back upstairs and spoken to Linnie together.
Finally Kevin had gone into Linnie's room and asked her what was wrong. She had told him.
Kevin hadn't stayed with her long; she needed Megan more than she needed him.
He had gone back to his room and closed the door, then spent a sleepless night recalling Harry and Marv the two Wet Bandits who he had last encountered only a few years back in New York... it kept going through his mind, every trap he had ever set, every moment he had spent trying to beat the bad guys... then finally, as the dawn brightened up the sky, Kevin had thought about it all again and been surprised that he had tears in his eyes. Marv had wound up on drugs? Marv was dead?
After they way they'd threatened him in the park and shoved a gun in his face, Kevin wondered why he didn't hate the pair of them.
But then he guessed he just wasn't the kind of guy to really hate anyone.
He had never told his Mom about the Wet Bandits, purely because she had never forgiven herself for leaving him home all alone at the age of eight. She had never really got over that – ever since that day she had been so much more jumpy, so much more anxious and she still took valium for it sometimes. He had known even when he was a little kid that it was kinder not to tell his Mom about his adventures - because she wouldn't have seen it that way at all...
Now he never could tell her, not now Linnie was carrying Marv's baby...
The thought that his sister's kid was also a part of Marv didn't freak him out any more; it was as if knowing the guy was dead had made him see things in a new light.
And it really shocked him, too: Marv was dead and here he was thinking about the Wet Bandits and crying over a guy who he used to think of as an enemy...
Kevin didn't fight it.
He just let the tears come as he mourned for his sister's loss, and for the loss of something else he couldn't define; in a strange kind of way he felt as if he had lost someone too...
It was gone ten in the morning and the blood on Marv's clothes was dried and going stiff.
He had washed his hands but it didn't make much difference; he knew his clothes were starting to stink because blood smelled bad when it dried like that but he didn't want to go home until he had seen Harry. He had been waiting for hours; Harry had been rushed into the emergency room and then had surgery to take out the bullet and it was a long time before anyone let him know what was going on.
When a doctor finally spoke to him, Marv felt numb and so shocked by it all that he wished this was nothing more than a bad dream, because it felt like it was a nightmare – and it was nothing to do with how much he needed the drugs.
As the doctor told him the news, Marv pushed thoughts of drugs right out of his mind - it was drugs that had caused this. If he hadn't bought the stuff and overdosed on it, Harry never would have gone over to the dealer and caused trouble - and the dealer wouldn't have sent someone over to shoot Harry in the head...
The doctor was speaking to him, telling him that Harry was out of surgery, he was in ICU and there were no guarantees that he would make it. She told him if he did make it the guy he remembered was gone because the bullet had caused massive brain damage. Harry would never be the same again and it was too soon to tell exactly how the brain damage would affect him, but he had to be prepared for the worst because there could be no easy outcome for Harry.
Marv heard all of this but as he listened there was also a single thought running through his mind and when he went into ICU and sat beside Harry's bed, that thought was still with him as he saw Harry lying there on life support and as he took hold of his hand he spoke that thought aloud as tears ran from his eyes.
"This is all my fault." Marv said tearfully, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Harry..."
Then a nurse who was checking the equipment around Harry's bed noticed Marv was crying.
"Try to calm down a little bit." She told him, "Because Harry might wake up soon."
Marv was still looking at Harry, thinking about the terrible damage that bullet had done to him and knowing he could only blame himself for this mess.
"If he gets better," He said quietly, "I'm taking care of him. I want to. I want to look after him for the rest of his life."
And the nurse looked at Marv. His coat was off and he had pushed up the sleeves of his blood stained shirt. She gently touched his arm, tracing a line along a recent track mark.
"What are these?" She asked him.
"Needle marks." Marv said tearfully, "I'm a junkie."
And he looked up at her.
"This is my fault." He said quietly, "I overdosed and Harry beat up the dealer...the guy sent someone over to pay him back for it. They shot him in the head, they shot my best friend!"
The nurse put her hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes.
"Do you want to get off this stuff?" She asked him, "Because you can't look after Harry if you're on heroin."
Marv looked back at her and suddenly it wasn't so hard to say what was on his mind. The nurse was pretty with short blonde hair and kindness in her green eyes and she was the only person who was willing to listen, so he told her everything.
After he finished explaining that he wanted to get clean but had never felt strong enough to do it, she offered to help him.
"If you really want to do this I can help you, Marv." She told him, "I'll help you get on a methadone program. It really is the best thing to do if you want to take care of your friend."
But Marv looked at Harry and thought about it and then he shook his head.
"No." He said quietly, getting up and putting on his coat, "Thanks for the offer but I don't want more drugs to get off drugs."
And the look in his blue eyes said it all; his mind was made up now.
"He's hurt because of me." Marv stated, "Because of me! So I'd rather get off this shit by myself. I want to do it the hard way."
The nurse stared at him.
"No, you can't go through withdrawal like that! Going cold turkey on heroin is a terrible way to get off it, you could kill yourself-"
"I deserve it." Marv stated, then he kissed Harry's cheek and walked out of ICU, determined that next time he saw Harry, the drugs would be out of his body forever. As he thought about what he had decided to do, it suddenly didn't seem so difficult any more; he knew what he was about to do would put him through hell, the kind of hell that would make him wish for death – but all he had to do was remember Harry lying in ICU and his resolve came back again:
He would get off the drugs, he would do it the hard way and he didn't care how much it hurt, because as far as he was concerned, Harry was hurt and it was his fault, so he didn't care how much pain he went through in the process – he had to get clean and do it right now – and if it hurt, so be it; Marv wanted it to hurt because of what had happened to Harry, he wanted the pain because he figured he deserved it...