Chapter 13

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Sure Christmas was only a few days away and that meant a time to be merry and well not prank your father; but in my defence he was totally asking for it. So who was I to deny him something he obviously wanted?

After enjoying a few musk sticks I left the house again. Screw his dinner time table. Operation Pink comes first. I ducked into Granny's and dragged Ruby from wiping down tables to the ladies. "What's up?" asked Ruby. I could see the concern in her eyes. She was so cute, just like the little sister I had always wanted.

"Operation Pink!" she looked at me in total confusion. "Dad said that his house is salmon not pink." Ruby giggled. "So I'm going to show him exactly how pink his world can be."

"You know he's going to be mad and I'm not just talking about mad here I'm talking about monstrous Mr. Gold mad." She warned.

"Yeah but that's half the fun."

"He'll kill you. I mean seriously kill you. Who knows how many bodies he's buried out there in the woods?"

I laughed "No that's not his style. He's more likely to turn you into a snail and step on you."

"Great! Because I really want to be a snail." She mocked.

"You'd make a sexy snail." I teased back. She laughed at that. "So are you in. It would be revenge for all the times he's annoyed you."

"Well when you put it that way... hell yes." She smiled before pulling me into a hug.

"When do you finish your shift?"


"Great! Bring any pink stuff to mine and we'll get to work around ten thirty."

"See you then." She smiled as we walked back out into the diner.

Granny glared at us "What are you two up to?"

"Oh, just a surprise for someone special." I smiled innocently. "See you later." I waved at Ruby before walking out the door to head back to the general store. Let's just hope that guy doesn't sneeze on me again. Seriously he should see a doctor about that.

In the general store I paced down the aisle looking left and right for anything pink to put into my basket. First thing that stood out was jelly crystals. When Jo Grant married the charming Professor Clifford Jones I may have broken into their house and filled up their bath and sinks with jelly topped off with confetti. In my opinion it looked really pretty. Though I could see how it could be annoying which is why it's perfect for Operation Pink.

As I walked down yet another aisle I noticed the pink hairspray. No that would be too cruel. Still there was that voice in my head calling out to me 'Come on! You know you want to.'

"No!" I groaned.

"No what?" asked Regina who just conveniently happened to be walking down the same aisle.

Shit I can't believe I said that out loud. "No, I don't think pink hair would suit me." I replied.

"Probably not, but imagine your father with pink hair." she snicked "That would keep the whole town laughing for weeks."

I had to laugh. She was right; it would be funny if I wasn't dead because of it. Admittedly I don't remember Regina having mind reading abilities. If I didn't hate Regina so much I would ask her to help. I'm sure that she would love getting back at dad, not to mention she'd probably come up with a million ideas for Operation Pink. But as I hate her and Ruby seems like a prank genius I don't need her nor want her.

As I kept looking through the store I couldn't help but think that it was a shame they didn't sale pink suits here. Though if I made a phone call to someone like Jack who has a vortex manipulator I could have them delivered at 10:30 tonight.

I walked down the last aisle barely glancing at the items on the shelves. In all seriousness how were the poorly stocked toy shelves going to help? That's when I saw the big, pink, fluffy teddy bear. It even had a pink bow tie. I had to laugh as I heard an old friend's voice echoing through my ears "Bow ties are cool."

I picked up the teddy holding it on my hip like a baby as I walked over to the counter. Mr. Sneeze a lot looked at me strangely before sneezing several times in a row. I guess he normally doesn't get someone buying 20 pink jellies and a giant pink teddy bear, though the sneezing is unacceptable. "You can gawk at me as I leave without paying or you can start scanning the jellies." Well he had no right to stare at a grown woman like that, even if she was hugging a teddy bear like a little kid not to mention the sneezing.

"Ah ...yeah" He murmured as he reached for one of the jellies.

It was just a relief to walk out of the store. I stashed the shopping in my car before ringing Jack. "Hi Jack it's me... That's not true! I don't only call you for that! Though if my dad continues with this whole 'drive Sophie up the wall' thing I might need you for that...No shotting the wall only works when you're bored...come on what do you think immortal friends are for?...Anyway Mr. Off topic...Fine! Captain Off topic, I need you to bring me five pink suits...No, men's suits...I'll explain when you get here...Storybrooke Maine 2230 hours."

With all that sorted I walked in to the pink house "You're late!" He yelled from his study "Dinner was meant to be on the table five minutes ago."

"Well people who lie about the colour of their house have to wait longer for dinner than your average honest person." I retorted as a heard the familiar thumbing of his cane.

"Ah," he smirked as he came into the light "I have to wait because my daughter is lying about the colour of the house she currently calls homes."

Maybe I would need Jack tonight after all.

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