AN: afta redin da hairy potty books (That sounds…delightful…) (not rly i saw the mooviez lolololol) i desided 2 make mi own hary potty storee.
note 2 da reedars: neva beliv any1 hu sayz a blak man dont like fired chickin (If you look to the bottom of the chapter, loves, you'll notice that this boy has the nerve to call others 'racist', even after making the previous comment.)
I wuz sittin out on da porch an mi mama leend out da windo an sayed "watchu doin soulja spirit buu jackson?". (I do believe he's modeling this story after My Immortal. Why else would he have this crazy-long name?)
"nuttin much" i said "we gut no food".
"o turtle don cri" (Yes, loves, he is called [for no reason] 'Turtle'.)
"na mama i aint mad" (You cry when you're mad.) i says. den i loked at da gund n said "i wish i had sum fried chinkin" den... dere wuz fried chikin on da grion!11111111111111 (The fact that 'grion' is closer to 'groin' than 'ground' leads me to wonder if perhaps he meant to say it was in his lap.)
"yo buu wuz dat i smel" mi mama said. I lookd arund all snecky like and den i whispad "fried chikin" an it went away. i wuz scared but nut in a afrayed way. den i whispad again "fried chicken" and it appered agan!111 so den i desided 2 tri sumden out. "wattamelon" (because it wasn't racist enough) an dere it iz a big ol slice o watrmellon at mah fet. mah mam lend out da door agan "boi now i no i smel sumden"(from buu to boi. Boooooiiiii!). so den i leaned ova and wispad "fired chikin... wattamelon" an dey boat went away. i gut up an says 2 mi mama "lock mama!11 i aint gut nottin!11"
"but im so hundreh" sayed ma mama (She acts suspicious when he 'has' something, then b*tches when he doesn't. Men-o-paaause!). den i felt sad. so i pointed mah finger at da grund an sayed "fried chikin" den a big ol bunmch of fired chikim appeerd. mi mama jumpt an scrammd (And she b*ches when he actually DOES have something. Men-o-paaause!). she ran in da house an slamed da door. "dun cum bak or ill shot ya!" she sayd. so i left. (And THEN she threatens to shoot him! Hom-i-cid-al ten-den-cieeeees~!)
so whadda think? IF U FLAM UR RASSIST. (Flam flam, flim flam jimmity jam, wopper bopper. I'm a rassist!...Sorry, loves, I'm kinda high on fired chikn right now.)