I do not own Star Trek 2009, Supernatural, Stargate SG-1 or NCIS: LA.

This was supposed to be part three of Collisions but it spiralled out of control and grew enormous. You should probably read Collisions first otherwise you'll be wondering how SG-1 ended up meeting Starfleet.


"You know what the problem is with being retired, Carter?"

"No sir."

"You end up thinking you miss this."

"Do you, sir?"

"Thought I did until we got stranded in deep space with no way home."

There was a snort. "Oh come on Jack, it's not that bad."

"Yet, Daniel, yet. The universe just kicked us in the pursqueeter and now I'm waiting for her to punch us in the teeth."

"You're becoming a pessimist in your old age." There was a yelp and a squawk.

"I'm not old, I'm a seasoned veteran and don't forget it."

"Jack, gib me back my glasses."

"O'Neill, was it necessary to assault DanielJackson's nose and abduct his glasses?"

"I was bored so yes! Carter, do we have a way back yet?"

There was a zapping sound, sparks flew and a flyaway blonde head popped up over the console, bright blue eyes glaring at her team mates. "No! And it might go faster if you all decided to follow Cam's example and tried to help!"

"Sam, you ready to test that conduit?" Cam's voice crackled through the temperamental comm system.

"Momma's boy," Jack scoffed and then shrank back as Carter continued to glare.

"I have an entire damned Daedalus-class ship to repair. Either go away or come help. Yes Cam I am, just a second."

"Has anyone seen Vala?" Daniel asked as a change of topic, blinking shortsightedly from where he was slouched in the co-pilot's chair.

Everyone glanced about and shook their heads. Finally Teal'c volunteered. "I have not seen her for some time but she said she was going to ascertain that the kitchen was fully stocked."

Jack twirled Daniel's glasses and slipped them on. "Damn Daniel, you're blind."

"Shut up, Jack."

Carter rolled her eyes and disappeared back under the console.


Six hours later

Carter cursed and slammed the naquadria generator hatch shut.

"Carter?" Jack asked, having drifted aimlessly down to the engine room with her after Daniel had threatened to clap Jack in an ancient Goauld torture chamber.

The astrophysicist took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

It wasn't working.

"Carter, talk to me," Jack said in his "Colonel O'Neill" voice.

Carter rubbed her forehead. "Sir, we're stranded. That hit we took fused several key parts together and I can't MacGyver replacements. We're not going anywhere. We can't even go back and pick up the rest of the crew on P4-5C3."

"Okay," Jack said slowly, slipping back into the SG-1 dynamic seamlessly. "Do we have any alternative options? Anything insane and life-threatening that only you could pull off?"

"Sir, we are in the most deserted quadrant of space we've encountered yet. The only thing we've ever found out here were the…" her voice trailed off.

"The?" Jack prompted.

"No, that's crazy," Carter dismissed it.

"Carter, as much as I like messing with Daniel and Mitchell and as much as I like running around with you and Teal'c, floating dead, literally and figuratively, in space is not my idea of fun. Talk crazy."

Carter propped a hip against the nearest console. "Well, eight months ago we encountered an anomalous wormhole that brought us to another universe entirely. I was inclined to think it was another reality because the other ships involved in the encounter were indeed alternate reality versions of the ship we ended up meeting, but realized that we were the only ship that jumped universes and that the other ships were just a side-effect."

Jack's eyebrows bunched up and he shook his head. "What?"

"The wonder-shuttle."

"What about it?"

"This is the sector of space where we found the wormhole that took us to the wonder-shuttle's universe."

"So?"

Carter picked up her faithful tablet and started scribbling out calculations. "There was a gate that we skipped through when it opened. I know typically our stargates are one way, that they have to be opened in the right direction in order to go through, but we were actually yanked through this one instead of flying through on our own power and I'm inclined to think it's a two-way, inter-universal prototype. We looked for evidence of research relating to the 'gate but never found any. I think we should try powering up the 'gate and going through it to find Starfleet. They might lend us a shuttle."

Jack shrugged. "Great."

Carter seemed to have hit her second wind now that she had a new idea. "I need Vala and Teal'c down here ASAP."

Jack punched the comm button. "Let's go universe-hopping."


Impala

"Bored, bored, bored," Dean droned. "Why the hell couldn't we drag Enterprise with us again?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Because this quadrant of space has been quiet for eight months and we're only swinging through this extra bit of space because Impala's fast enough to do so and still meet her courier on time. It's all your fault for letting the brass know we're the fastest ship in the 'Fleet. Whoa, wait a minute," he muttered as his scans fluctuated wildly. "We're getting a reading! Wormhole opening!"

"Ori dudes again?" Dean asked. "Cas, put the ship on yellow alert."

"No, but it's not the SG-1 pyramid ship either. It's something bigger and if my scans are right, honestly it looks more Earth-tech than anything else." Sam twiddled a few more buttons. "They're hailing us."

"On screen," Dean ordered. "Hey! It's Mitchell!"

"Winchester!" Lieutenant Colonel Mitchell greeted in return, waving at smoke spewing from the bulky console in front of him.

"Dude, your ship looks like it's seen better days," Dean began critically.

Mitchell chuckled shortly, thumping a fist on the top of his station. "You think? We're dead in the water after that little stunt. She was on her last leg before we crammed her through a 'gate between universes. We were hoping you could help us with repairs."

Dean arched an eyebrow, more than a little incredulous. "You hopped universes just for repairs."

Mitchell shrugged. "Without our hyperdrive, we were 1400 light-years from any sort of planet with a 'gate or tech to help us out. We figured even if we got stranded over here, it was better than dying in a giant steel coffin."

"Respected." Dean could get that. "Sam?"

His brother scanned the ship again. "Um, still not entirely up on their version of the warp drive, but the scans aren't promising."

"Captain!" Ash suddenly broke in. "Klingon bird of prey registering on our sensors!"

"Red alert," Dean ordered calmly. "Mitchell, we'll beam you aboard – "

"Not necessary," Mitchell replied. "Our hyperdrive might be fried but our shields and weapons are fully functional. We'll lend a hand. Daedalus II has a pretty nasty bite."

Dean shrugged. "Two is always better than one."


Daedalus II

"You promised Winchester what?" Carter yelped and Mitchell ignored the indignant scientist, already in the pilot's seat.

"Carter, you said yourself they're pretty much going to have to get us a brand new ship. We may as well be useful in return."

"Mitchell's right," Jack chimed in, settling into the captain's seat. "Just keep us in one piece Carter so we can beat up the bad guys. Daniel, take the communications console. Teal'c, you're on weapons and Carter, Vala's your extra pair of hands."

"Who died and made you captain?" Daniel grumbled even as he plopped into position, slipping the headset on.

"I'm a general, technically this is below me," Jack grinned cheekily and Daniel rolled his eyes.

"Technically you're retired and I think it's been bad for you. You never flouted your rank before."

Jack swiveled in the chair, watching the bird of prey (dumb ass name for a ship if you asked Jack) start firing on the big ship labelled Impala. "You say that's a little Starfleet ship?" Jack demanded incredulously. "And I'm not flouting, Daniel, I'm exercising."

"That's a little one sir and I'm pretty sure if you saw the Enterprise you'd try to steal her." Mitchell brought the ship around.

"Shields are up, O'Neill. Preparing to engage weapons."

"Excellent. Teal'c, you know what to do."

The Daedalus II may have had a crippled hyperdrive, but she was still packed full of Earth's patented never-say-die grit and she followed the Impala into battle with all the enthusiasm that had brought down the Gouald.

"Fire all forward rail guns, Teal'c and Mitchell, I don't want to find out the hard way that their phaser-thingies are stronger than the wonder-shuttle's. Keep us from getting hit," Jack snapped out, already immersed in battle-adrenaline. "Daniel, make sure we're coordinating with the Impala. Ending up blue on blue would suck."

"Blue on blue?" Vala asked from the back of the bridge. "Sam said to," she ripped a few crystals out, jammed new ones back in and shook one vigorously, "make sure your control crystals were good. What's blue on blue?"

"Friendly fire," Daniel volunteered as the three warriors focused on hammering their new bad guy.

"The railguns are surprisingly effective," Teal'c commented calmly as he fired away at the Klingon ship. "I believe they do not have this form of energy technology."

"Impala hailing," Daniel reported suddenly.

"On screen," Jack ordered. "General Jack O'Neill, Stargate Command. Captain Winchester, I presume?"

The sandy-haired captain nodded briskly. "Yep. Look, I've got a situation. We've gotta toast this bastard but we've just received notification that there's a massive atmosphere leak on a small science station a short distance from here. You're doing a damned good job of holding your own, but if we skip out to save the station we'll be leaving you in the lurch. I'm pretty sure your shields aren't calibrated to withstand disruptors. Can you hop over to the station and beam out the scientists before they end up in hard vacuum?"

"Carter, did you get all that?" Jack asked calmly.

"I did sir and we can, provided there aren't any more Klingons in the area."

Jack nodded to Winchester. "All right. Send us the coordinates and we'll have a look."

"Captain," a tall shaggy-headed kid (not really a kid but he reminded Jack of Daniel, complete with enthusiastic, altruistic face) broke in. "Enterprise just confirmed that there are more Klingon ships in the area. They're headed our way at max warp but they won't make it in time to save the scientists. I don't – "

Jack glanced at his team, who all had that determined glint in their eye. "Tell Enterprise to meet us there. We'll get the geeks and hang on until Enterprise shows up."

"You sure?" Winchester asked and held up his hands when Jack sent him a patented O'Neill withering glance. "My bad. You'll handle it. Impala out."

"All right Mitchell, let's go rescue us some nerds."


Impala

"That O'Neill guy kinda reminds me of Pike," Dean mused as they hammered the faltering bird of prey.

"How so?" Sam asked conversationally as he juggled three or four finicky systems.

Dean shrugged. "It's in the eyes – freaking nothing will scare or stop those guys anymore. Daedalus II will come out all right if he's in charge and we know that the SG-1 guys are the exact opposite of useless."

"I hope you're right," Sam breathed as the Impala shook under fresh disruptor fire, "because we've got more Klingon company."

"Shields at 76% and holding Captain!"

"Right, let's show them how the Impala gets it done."


Daedalus II

"So, do we know where we're going?" Vala asked, draped over the back of Daniel's chair. "New universe and all."

Carter glanced up from the map spread across the tactical table. "Yep. The calculations for distance are surprisingly similar and it's just a short distance away. We aren't going to get lost. Beat up by the bad guys, maybe, but not lost. In fact, we should be coming up on the space station just about…now."

They spotted the small gleaming white object floating in space, a silvery stream of atmosphere marking the massive breach. "It's tiny!" Vala lamented in dismay.

"Oh, I don't know about that," Carter said slowly. "I know Winchester said it was small, but it's at least as big as the Impala." Sure enough, once they were within beaming range, the station dwarfed the Daedalus II and Vala had her nose pressed right up against the bridge view screen, craning her neck back to look at up.

"Science station Beta 754, this is the Earth ship Daedalus II. Impala sent us by to pick you up. Beta 754, do you read?" Daniel hailed the station, kicking his station when the connection crackled. The interference disappeared.

"This is Beta 754. Who the hell are you?"

Jack grinned and took over. "We're from another universe, just stopped in for coffee, doncha know, and volunteered for the mission when the Impala ran into Klingon trouble. You want off the station or not?"

There was a pause in which Jack raised his eyebrows. Free but somewhat sketch ride off the leaking death trap? He'd take it if he were in their place.

"Standing by for transport, Daedalus II."

"Thank you," Jack muttered. "Mitchell and Carter, can you go make sure our guests are comfortable? That they don't think we're aliens and try to, oh I don't know, take over the ship?"

Carter and Mitchell nodded as Vala rolled her eyes. "Oh come on Jack, I don't think they'll try that."

Jack raised a sceptical eyebrow as Carter activated the beaming technology and confirmed mass arrival in the hold. "What team have you been on for the past few years?"

Vala opened her mouth, paused and conceded the point just as the station beside them shook, shuddering under unseen weapons fire. "O'Neill, there are two war birds bearing down on our position," Teal'c reported calmly.

"Vala, take the helm. Teal'c, make sure the shields are at maximum. Carter! What are the odds of us hiding behind this space station and the Klingon-dudes just assuming everyone's already dead?" Jack asked hopefully.

"Nil, sir."

"Damn. Daniel, have you got in contact with this Enterprise?"

Daniel held up a hand, murmuring into the comm for a minute longer before turning to Jack. "We've been hacked. The Klingons put a tap on the line. Luckily," and here he grinned, "Lieutenant Commander Uhura noticed and I taught her the basics of Ancient when I was here last so the Klingons have no idea what we're saying. On the flip side, it'll be another three minutes until the Enterprise arrives."

"Vala, don't get us shot up until that ship gets here."

"Yes sir!" the bubbly woman saluted from her chair. "No getting shot," and she yanked the entire ship violently sideways, dodging a disruptor beam with a hair's breadth to spare.


Enterprise

"Captain," Uhura reported as the Enterprise clipped along at a respectable warp 7 (they had been going faster, but Impala said they had it handled and so Enterprise had dialled back), "the Daedalus II is responding to the science station emergency because the Impala was already taking fire when we hailed them."

Kirk blinked. "The Daedalus II?"

Uhura grinned. "From the SG-1 universe and she's taking fire from Klingons."

Kirk laughed in disbelief. "Incredible. They're nuts. Sulu, maximum warp, yellow alert." The Enterprise chewed up the distance in a hurry and burst onto the scene just in time to swoop over the tiny grey toy ship valiantly holding off two war birds all on her own. "Sulu, Chekov, I want those Klingons surrendering to us in five minutes. Uhura, put me in contact with the Daedalus II."

The connection was scratchy and the SG-1 ship clearly falling apart at the seams but the silver-haired commander of the Daedalus II was cool and composed, wearing a displeased scowl that would have stripped paint. "I assume you're the Enterprise? You're late!"

Kirk grinned. "Sorry about that, Impala neglected to tell us you were the ones responding. Stepped up the pace as soon as we heard it was you. Captain Jim Kirk at your service. Hey Mitchell!"

"Kirk! Dude, how you been?"

"Captain, Klingons are requesting terms of surrender," Spock reported quietly and Kirk frowned.

"Klingons don't surrender," he remarked slowly.

Had Spock been human, he would have shrugged, as baffled as his captain.

"They don't surrender?" the commander interjected and Kirk frowned.

"They fight to the death no matter what, which makes this very suspicious. Spock, can we safely drop shields and beam everyone onto the Enterprise?"

"I believe we can, Captain."

"Accept the Klingon surrender and evacuate the Daedalus II. That is, if you have no objections Commander…" Kirk trailed off.

"General Jack O'Neill, Stargate Command. And no objections. This bucket's falling apart around us and unless you're volunteering the parts, we can't fix her on our own."

Kirk nodded decisively. "We'll make sure you get back to the right universe. Scotty, mass-beam everyone off the Daedalus II and when they arrive, I want the SG-1 team sent to the bridge."

"Aye-aye, capt'n."

"Assistance appreciated," O'Neill replied briskly but wholeheartedly.


Daedalus II

"Well," Carter mused as she hitched up her pack of field gear, "the IOA's going to have a field day. We left a multi-billion dollar space ship in another universe. Maybe we should just stay here."

Mitchell snorted a laugh. "And leave General Landry to deal with the fallout himself? You'd better make damn sure he can't come through that inter-universal gate to hunt us down."

"Well, since Jack's clearly rejoined SG-1," Daniel snipped, still irritated about his now slightly mangled glasses, "we can just feed him to Landry and the IOA."

"Ooh, good idea! Can I bring popcorn and watch?" Vala cackled as Teal'c patiently held out her pack.

"Perhaps Skittles would be a wiser choice," he volunteered with mild amusement and Vala grinned, swiping the pack from his hand.

"You're absolutely right, Muscles. What was I thinking?"

"Vala? Thinking? So many comments, so little time," Jack caroled blithely and grinned at Vala when she glared. "Everyone clear? No scientists still poking around at the rudimentary barbarian technology?"

"A final sweep of the ship has everyone accounted for, sir. We're all that's left and I'm sure Captain Kirk doesn't want to test the Klingons' surrender." Carter commed the Enterprise and Jack watched in fascination as the transporter lights swirled around them like fireflies.


Enterprise

"Well that was…new," Jack commented, stepping off the transporter pad.

"Aye! Welcome to the Enterprise! Commander Montgomery Scott, chief engineer at your service."

"Scotty!" Carter cried in excitement. "Hey listen, about that shuttle you gave us," and Jack realized that he hadn't seen Carter this excited in quite some time.

He had been the one to push them on this mission after all, making sure the whole gang plus Jack came along because he'd noticed that SG-1 had been yanked in six different directions lately. Daniel was caught up in academia, turning into a dusty bookworm and even passing on archaeological digs in an attempt to head off the universe's next great disaster. Teal'c was growing grumpy and irritable herding the recalcitrant Jaffa towards something approaching equality while Vala skipped through the seedier parts of the universe tracking down the Lucien Alliance. Cam had been voluntarily stranded on the Gamma site, training new cadets and gaining an undeserved reputation as a hard-ass. Carter buried herself in either her lab or Area 51 in an attempt to keep the technology up to date on the wars in two galaxies. And Jack himself had been retired because he told the IOA exactly what he thought one too many times and some great, galaxy-imperiling crisis hadn't cropped up to save his ass.

When none of them had showed up for movie night, all citing work as a legitimate excuse, Jack decided to take matters into his own hands and he may or may not have convinced Landry to yank the entirety of SG-1 onto an interesting but simple archaeological run.

As usual, it all went to hell.

And now he was trapped in another universe and loving it.

Judging from the expressions on everyone else's faces, so were they.

Daniel practically scooted out the transporter room door, babbling something about Uhura and updating her on some language theory. He was followed by Cam, who had admittedly looked like a kid in a candy store when the Enterprise first arrived. Vala bounced in their wake with an evil glint in her eye that boded ill for the poor lamb she was going to sexually harass.

This left Jack and Teal'c standing quite happily in the transporter room. "I believe your plan is working, O'Neill."

"Plan? What plan? There was no plan. Like I said, the universe is kicking us in the teeth. I mean, seriously, we're so screwed right now."

Teal'c clearly didn't believe him.


Kirk decided he liked this retired leader of SG-1. Jack O'Neill was a man of Pike's calibre, a veteran still in prime fighting form and sharp as a honed blade, hungry for more action, juggling his very excited team with ease and aplomb.

"Right. Klingons," Kirk began, getting to the point. "They never surrender. Which means there's something else going on here. What it is, I don't know. Spock, what does this science station do?"

Suddenly the jabbering bridge fell silent. Enterprise and SG-1 members alike tuned in as the first officer took the floor. "The station itself is an anomaly. Starfleet decided to fund the expedition to the planet below because of the dead civilization present."

Ears perked up. "Dead civilization?" Dr. Jackson asked, eyes alight already.

"Indeed. The civilization was several technological breakthroughs ahead of most planets in this quadrant and they made use of an unknown, highly efficient power source. Starfleet has been attempting to reverse-engineer this generator for the past eight months. They have made no appreciable breakthroughs until last week. Since then, the Klingons have been attempting to take the planet."

Again, Dr. Jackson raised his hand and Spock nodded. "What happened to the civilization?"

Spock inclined his head slightly. "We do not know."

Dr. Jackson whirled on General O'Neill, who held up his hands. "If it's safe and if Captain Kirk has the time, we can let you go down to the planet and play with the rocks."

"Actually," Kirk drawled, "your assistance would be appreciated. I just got an update from Starfleet. We're supposed to chase off the Klingons and expedite the generator production before more enemies arrive. Spock, pick an away team to head down to the planet. Any members of SG-1 who are interested are welcome to poke around while we clean up the mess in space."

Spock was staring at the SG-1 team thoughtfully. "You said during our last encounter that you are a first contact team?"

"Yep," Mitchell replied.

"Our archaeology department is…lacking in scientific process," Spock said with mild distaste, "and none of them are capable of defending themselves. Captain, with your permission and if the general agrees, I will simply take SG-1 down to the surface. Lieutenant Colonel Carter can be of assistance in the generator production and Dr. Jackson's thorough professionalism outweighs our archaeology department."

"Lacking in scientific process?" Dr. Jackson asked worriedly.

"Yeah," Kirk sighed. "It's a new initiative by Starfleet but I'm afraid this is the first archaeology department on the flagship and they don't move very quickly. And we got the dregs of the barrel because few archaeologists want to work on the Enterprise because we rarely stay in one place long enough to conduct a proper dig. In short, our archaeology department is unfortunately a group of blithering idiots. Don't worry Dr. Jackson, you will be a huge help. General?"

O'Neill rocked back on his heels. "Why not?"

Kirk grinned. "Excellent."


Planet-side

"Well looky there, campers! Just like home," Jack commented as they materialized on the planet's desert surface in fatigues, P-90s and the field packs. Spock had raised an eyebrow at the kitted out team but Mitchell said they had experienced too many situations gone sideways to leave any of it behind.

And just like home, Daniel spotted the ruins immediately and scuttled off with excitement. "Daniel!" Jack shouted but Mitchell waved lazily.

"Vala and I will go after him, keep him from falling through holes or walking into an ambush, sir."

"Why don't I get to stay with the sexy alien?" Vala practically whined.

Mitchell rolled his eyes. "Like I said sir, Vala and I will go."

Jack nodded. "Radio contact in ten after you've scouted a perimeter."

Mitchell flipped a casual salute and herded Vala after the rapidly shrinking archaeologist.

"The scientists had a secondary base in this cliff face," Spock directed, leading the remaining team members to a camouflage screen. The cool rush of recycled air met Carter as she practically zipped inside in excitement. Spock held the door open but Jack shook his head.

"Teal'c and I are going to go poke around. Been on the wrong end of too many ambushes if you know what I mean."

Spock paused. "This is prudent. I will ensure that Lieutenant Colonel Carter remembers to contact you in ten minutes."

"Excellent. You've got her pegged already."


Impala/Enterprise

"Hey Kirk, see you've got the Klingons wrangled," Dean commented as his crew scrambled to effect minor repairs, having trounced the bird of prey and its friends and caught up with Enterprise.

"Yeah," the Enterprise captain replied thoughtfully, "but something's odd. We're in a standoff and I don't know what the stakes are. The chief scientist isn't hiding anything and while this generator is a decent idea, it's not worth five Klingon birds in this sector."

"Hey, where's the Daedalus II?" Dean asked suddenly.

Kirk scowled in irritation. "We couldn't protect it and win a battle at the same time. We beamed everyone off the ship and then let the Klingons have it. Hope Stargate Command isn't pissed. Spock took SG-1 down to the surface instead of our new archaeology department. Dr. Jackson's the capable type." And Uhura was still ticked he hadn't let her go with them. No matter her interest in languages, she wasn't an archaeologist and he wanted most of his bridge crew around. This situation was going to take a nosedive if his instincts were right and he'd need her.

"So we'll just sit on our hands and wait for the Klingons to make the first move," Dean concluded.

"Yep."

"Son of a bitch."


Daniel, Vala and Mitchell

Jackson was lost to the world, Mitchell realized quickly. Completely immersed in this wholly new culture, the archaeologist's sky-blue eyes were boring into the ruins as he scrambled about like a monkey, muttering excitedly to himself.

"He hasn't been this interested since we found Atlantis," Vala commented in awe and Mitchell shrugged.

"Didn't realize I'd missed this, letting Jackson run amok. Lately all he's been doing is focusing in on saving the world."

"Do you realize that I've never seen anything like this before ever?" Jackson shouted in glee from on top of a wall like a kid in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory and Vala giggled.

"I'd better go help, make sure he doesn't fall off the wall."

Mitchell nodded. "I'll go case the area. Stay alert, 'cause Jackson sure as hell won't."


Three hours later…

Vala was sitting merrily on top of a rather tall wall, basking happily in the sun when Daniel yelped suddenly and scrambled out of the enormous ruined hall he had been enamoured with. "What?" Vala asked and Daniel blinked at her, brain still working at top speed.

"I know why the Klingons are here and we have got to go. Now. Get Mitchell. I'm calling Jack."

Vala scrambled down from her perch and tumbled into the shade where Cam was snoozing peacefully as Daniel fumbled with his radio and started barking information at Jack, who barked back until Daniel slowed his words down to intelligible speed. Even then, Vala caught the last irritable "Daniel, you still aren't making any sense. Meet us back at the rendezvous point and we'll talk then."

Mitchell jogged up to them and Daniel started off without a word. "Come on," he called over his shoulder, "before they wake up!"

The phrase 'before they wake up' coming from disaster-magnet Daniel Jackson suddenly had Vala sprinting ahead, Mitchell falling into step with Jackson as they had done so many times before. "They?" he panted, shooting a wary look over his shoulder.

"They," Jackson confirmed grimly.

Jack, Teal'c and Carter were waiting for them, having had a much shorter distance to go. "Talk Daniel, and make it stupid for us," Jack ordered.

"Well, I don't quite have all the details because I didn't have time to decipher the hieroglyphs on the wall, but the gist of the story from various different sources around the ruins tell of what I assume is a primitive Klingon war vessel. This was at least a thousand years ago and I think the Klingons had just mastered space travel. No weapons aboard the ship itself, primitive living conditions, but they were looking to establish a colony. They landed on the planet with their formidable beasts of war and defeated the people living here." Daniel took in a huge breath and was off again a second later.

"But the last ruler of the indigenous peoples released a great enemy that they had kept captive for many years to eliminate the Klingon war beasts and holed himself up with the remnants of his people in that great citadel there. The enemy was successful in eliminating the Klingons and their war beasts before a day had passed, leaving a handful of Klingons to take to the sky, swearing to never return to the planet."

Daniel stopped, staring at everyone expectantly.

"So?" Jack asked bluntly.

"So the creature went into hibernation and the recent excavations may or may not have disturbed it."

"After a thousand years?" Carter asked skeptically and Daniel beamed at her.

"Actually, I think they recalled it and put the thing in stasis. And the Federation scientists poking around in the ruins set off a timer that's about to run out."

The mention of technology had Carter and Spock paying attention. "So it could be awake soon," Carter said slowly. Daniel nodded. "And that's why the Klingons are here. They want to examine the beast they couldn't beat all those years ago," she finished.

"I believe it would be prudent to retreat to the Enterprise at this time," Spock interjected firmly.

"Agreed," Jack said firmly and blinked in surprise when Daniel didn't protest, only checked his P-90 and scanned the area. Upon exchanging glances with the active SG-1 members, he was at once comforted and disturbed to realize they were as surprised by Daniel's reaction as he was.

Shouldering his own P-90, Jack surveyed the scene as Spock spoke into the communicator. "We cannot beam up at this time," the Vulcan reported a few minutes later. "The Enterprise and Impala have engaged with more Klingon ships and the shields are up."

"Should we move into the bunker-thingy over there then?" Vala suggested and everyone looked at Daniel. "Um, uh, I think we should get to high ground. The legends say this thing travels through and under soft sand. Climb the cliff."

"The temperature up there will be extreme and there will be no shelter," Spock pointed out.

"Agreed," Teal'c weighed in. "However, it will indeed be easier to spot an enemy coming even if it is under the sand." The stoic members of the group exchanged a glance. "I believe we should be last up the cliff," Teal'c added and Spock bowed his head slightly.

"That is a logical conclusion."

"God, there's two of them now," Jack sighed. "All right. Mitchell, you're up the cliff first. Jackson next, Carter and Vala follow him. Then me and the terrible twins."

The 'terrible twins,' (who did not look very impressed with their new nickname) and Jack covered their team mates as they swarmed up the cliff.

Then there was a great booming sound and everyone froze.

"Daniel?" Carter asked into the radio.

"There was a great stone cover, at least eight tons heavy over the crypt," Daniel replied, dangling from his rope and scanning the area with new scrutiny. "It wasn't meant to keep the creature in. It was meant to warn everyone when it fell off the crypt top and onto the 'echoing floor.'"

"So it's out now," Vala shouted, forgetting to use the radio.

"Move it, move it, move it," Jack barked, backing up to the cliff face and latching onto Daniel's rope. Teal'c was a heartbeat behind him and Spock waited a bare ten seconds more before following suit.

Mitchell had just made the top of the cliff, squinting against the blowing sand when he spotted an ominous ripple in the dunes below. "Let's go!" he shouted as Daniel and Vala spilled onto the top. "It's coming!"

And that was when the Klingons materialized down on the sand as well, spotting the scrambling team members almost immediately.


Impala

"What the hell is on that planet?" Dean demanded as the Impala shook under intense fire from a K't'inga class war ship, the heavy artillery of the Klingons.

"According to Spock," Uhura replied over the open comm, the least busy person on the Enterprise's bridge, "Daniel thinks it's a creature that eradicated a Klingon attack force and their war beasts in under a day."

"Well shit," Dean muttered. "Of course the Klingons want it as a pet." He watched in exasperation as the Enterprise ducked about. The Impala was practically useless against the big Klingon ship and the Enterprise was taking a hammering. "Sam, tell me you've gotten through to Starfleet!"

Sam snarled in disgust just as Dean finished issuing the order. "Dean, they put me on hold."

"What? Is that even possible?"

Sam scowled. "We're being blocked out by one of the admirals who refuses to take us seriously. Who have you pissed off lately?"

"I don't know Sam! Get us some help!"

Rolling his eyes, Sam pulled up the roster of ships in the area. Technically they weren't supposed to call directly on other ships for assistance – Starfleet wanted to keep track of where their ships were, keep things nice and organized, but Sam figured everyone would rather be alive and in shit than, well, dead and in shit.

"Yes," he hissed in victory, punching buttons. "Los Angeles, do you read? This is the Impala, mayday, mayday!"


Los Angeles

"Captain, I'm getting a distress call directly from the Impala," Nell reported and Callen glanced up from his report-writing.

"Not from Starfleet?"

Nell listened intently. "Apparently Admiral Cartwright's pissed at Captain Winchester again and stalling them out but Impala and Enterprise are currently facing down a K't'inga-class war ship by themselves."

Callen set the PADD down, decision made in an instant. "Yellow alert. Maximum warp. Punch it, Deeks."


Planet-side

The SG-1 team plus one Vulcan sat dangling their feet over the edge of cliff, watching warily.

The Klingons spread out, clearly heading in the cliff's direction when the moving ripple of sand intensified and the wind began to die down, casting an ominous silence over the landscape.

"Daniel, what exactly is this thing," Jack demanded and Daniel shrugged.

"Like I said, I couldn't read the hieroglyphs but if the murals are correct," the archaeologist threw up his hands in disbelief, "it's an enormous, uh, barbed, poisonous serpent. Thing."

"A giant barbed poisonous serpent thing?" Jack repeated slowly with his trademark incredulity.

Spock seemed to be enjoying the heat while everyone else sweltered, soaking in the rays with as much pleasure as Vala until the Vulcan leaned in to join the conversation. "Are you certain, Dr. Jackson?"

Mitchell leaned back to look up at the brilliant azure-green sky. "Oh, Jackson's never wrong about the doomsday stuff," he drawled with calm resignation. "He says there's a giant serpent barbed thing, he's going to be right."

There was a huge explosion of golden sand under the Klingons' feet, the ground roiled and a great, fanged, ruffed head shot out of the confusion in shades of tan and gold, barely visible amidst the flying clouds of sand, long serrated teeth gleaming wickedly as the thing snatched at its prey with frightening speed and accuracy.

Jack whistled. "Damn."

"It can't get up here, right Daniel?" Vala asked, carefully hiding the quaver in her voice.

The archaeologist shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. But it'll definitely cost the thing some time and by that point, I expect the Enterprise or the Impala should be around to pick us up."

"Should, huh," Carter huffed, sipping from her canteen and grimacing at the warm water.


Enterprise

"Uhura, tell me you got through to someone, anyone who is coming to assist," Kirk demanded as the bridge shook yet again under a heavy hit.

"Los Angeles ETA twenty seconds, sir," she snapped back briskly.

"LA, that's good," Kirk muttered to himself. "How's the Impala, Chekov?"

"Taking heavy fire, keptin. Shields at 34% and falling. They vill be able to take one more direct hit."

Kirk scowled."Scotty, I need more power to the shields!"

"Oh aye, more power to the shields he says," the engineer growled down below decks, hammering circuits into compliance and bawling out his fumble-fingered minions. "Aye, more power to the shields and aren't we almost burning through the bloody conduits as it is?"

Scotty slammed down an engine hatch, rerouted the power feeds yet again and smacked his comm. "Ye've got all the power ye're gang tae get, capt'n an' if the system overloads we'll be absolutely defenceless!"

"Understood, Scotty!"

"Understood my ass," the irritable Scot shot back after the comm turned off, a conduit sparked and Keenser waggled a wrench at him, waving Scotty over.

A miracle-worker's job is never complete.


Up on the bridge, Enterprise was a smoke-filled, noisy, tense world with sparks highlighting broken, bleeping panels, the captain snapping orders left and right.

Just as Kirk was afraid they were going to lose the Impala, Los Angeles sailed in, fresh and raring to go. "Uhura, does the away team need a beam up?" Kirk asked during a brief lull in the fight as the K't'inga-class ship (so new that it didn't have a name) squared up with the LA, clearly trying to decide if they wanted to take on two Constitution class ships at once.

"Yes, Spock said something about an," Uhura tapped a few keys, clearly replaying the conversation to ensure she got her facts straight, "abnormally large sand serpent, approximately fifty feet in length."

"Sand snake? Why don't they just shoot it?" Kirk puzzled.

Uhura shrugged expressively.

"Scotty, can you lock onto the away team?" Kirk asked. There was a pause over the comm.

"Capt'n, there's some sort of device down on the planet interfering with the transporters. I swear it wasn't down there before. Chekov, be a good laddie and have a gander," the puzzled engineer requested.

"Uhura, tell the Impala and the Los Angeles we're checking on the away team. Sulu, keep backing up the LA and don't let the Impala get toasted. Chekov?"

The ensign squinted at his station. "Ser, it's some sort of stasis field that's been released recently. It's veakening as ve speak but the interference in the atmosphere from the dewice deactiwating vill not allow transport for another tventy minutes at least."

Kirk stared at the screen, thinking as the Enterprise took yet another hit. "Shields at 65% and holding," the Russian officer added helpfully. Kirk came to a quick decision.

"Right. Sulu, you have the conn. I'm taking a shuttle down to the planet to pick them up. At the very least, we should get them up off the ground. Tell Bones to meet me in the shuttle bay if he's got the infirmary under control." Kirk stood abruptly and nodded around the bridge. "Got it?"

When he received affirmation, he strode into the lift, a grin spreading on his face as the doors closed. "Giant snake, huh?"


Planet-side

The wind was picking up as the sky began to darken and still the sand roiled in long lazy waves, the snake circling around and around. There was no sign of the Klingons, despite Vala's fervent wish that the metal and leather armour would give the snake indigestion. Of course Carter and Spock found the snake interesting, to Jack's disgust.

He, Cam and Teal'c were all for rappelling halfway down the rope and seeing if the P-90s would make a dent but Daniel had rather sensibly pointed out that the Klingon disruptors had only left blackened bursts on the snake's smooth, undoubtedly hard scales and that a P-90 was more likely to tickle the thing than kill it. Best sit and wait. Carter agreed with him and so, to Spock's mild confusion, SG-1 plus one Vulcan remained sitting out on the edge of the cliff like a little row of odd, wingless birds.

"I was under the impression that 21st century military was not a democracy," Spock finally ventured after Jack said he was rappelling down and Daniel said that was one of the stupidest ideas Jack had had to date, although Daniel was quite sure Jack would impress him yet again one of these days. Mitchell laughed, Daniel wrinkled his nose as Vala smirked, Carter elbowed Jack and Teal'c's face bent into something resembling humour.

"Technically," Jack drawled, "I'm retired. Mitchell and Carter are of the same rank. And the rest aren't military. Can't dish out orders like you do in outside of the SGC. That and SG-1's always been a little strange. Even in the beginning, getting Daniel to follow orders was like pulling teeth with needle-nosed pliers." Said archaeologist looked rather proud of his contrary nature. "And hey, we gotta be doing something right. We're still the premiere off-world team even after what, thirteen years now?"

Carter shrugged. "I don't keep track. I feel old if I do."

"Yeah, the rookies nowadays don't try to razz me but instead look up at me as if I'm some sort of great Earth-saving genius." Daniel blinked mildly as everyone else rolled their eyes in exasperation.

"Just so you know," Mitchell informed Spock with amusement. "He actually is some sort of great Earth-saving genius. They all are. Even Vala."

"Don't forget yourself, flyboy," Vala chimed in.

Jack huffed in old-soldier disdain for mushiness. "Yes, let's all form a mutual admiration society. Spock can join for free, since I'm guessing he's saved his Earth a couple times as well."

"As a matter of fact, I have," the Vulcan added just before the giant serpent threw itself at the cliff with teeth-jarring force and Vala almost toppled off the edge. Everyone scrambled back as boulders rattled loose and the solid rock below them quivered.

"Daniel, how solid is this thing?" Jack asked, not sure he would like the answer.

Daniel scowled. "It depends on whether or not the cliff formed on the sand or the sand formed around the cliff. Judging from the way this thing's shaking, it landed on top of the sand. If the snake keeps pounding away at the right spot, it could all fall apart."

"Dr. Jackson's analysis is accurate," Spock correlated.

"Great. So what do we do when this thing inevitably dumps us on our asses in the sand?" Mitchell asked as P-90s got a quick once-over, shaking sand out of places it didn't belong.

"Well, if I had to pick a place to start shooting," Daniel mused, "I'd say the eyes and the inside of the mouth would be our best bet."

"Captain Kirk is on his way down with a shuttle to pick us up," Spock reported a second later.

"Excellent. Everyone stay away from the edge and wait for the captain," Jack ordered briskly, putting the grab on a curious Daniel. "No checking out the big snake Danny-boy. If you fall over the edge, I'll have to go back and tell all those little starry-eyed newbies that their great Dr. Jackson got eaten in the lamest way possible."

The cliff was literally crumbling under their feet as Mitchell, Carter and Jack started taking sniper shots at the snake. It wasn't going so well when the shuttle arrived in a whoosh of air and scattered pebbles. "In, in, in!" Captain Kirk shouted and the away team didn't stand around to argue. They piled into the open door like puppies, Jack slamming the door shut behind them with alacrity.

"Well-timed, Captain," Spock said by way of greeting, slipping into the co-pilot's seat.

"Thanks, Spock. Everyone okay?"

SG-1 glanced around at each other. "Fine," Jack concluded. "Carter, please tell me you got the plans for that generator thingie."

Carter shot her general a highly insulted glare. "Of course I got the plans."

Everything was rather anticlimactic after that. Los Angeles and Enterprise took care of the K't'inga class ship and the Impala hung on long enough to kick the shit out of the small fries. Carter, Sam (Winchester) and Spock had a great deal of fun putting the generator together and if a copy of the plans ended up in Carter's backpack, the Starfleeters had no problem with that.

Daniel and Hetty from the LA got along fabulously which frightened more than a few members of the assembled crews, especially when they overheard Hetty telling Daniel about a rather "interesting P'loouik dish that utilizes real snake venom. Of course you have to be sure to take the antidote within three minutes of consumption. I'll give you the recipe." Of course Daniel agreed enthusiastically, citing it as a "fascinating example of inventive cuisine. We could take a shuttle down to the planet and get our Klingon-eating, scaly friend as an experiment," as he eyed Jack speculatively.

"I'm not eating anything that's made from snake venom," an apprehensive Jack said firmly. "Even if it tastes like chicken. Especially if it tastes like chicken."

The captains, Jack and Mitchell sat down to hammer out the details of a tentative long-distance alliance, seeing as the geeks could confirm that this was indeed another universe and not an alternate reality so there wouldn't be any entropic cascade ("There's a difference?" Jack asked. The geeks glared. Jack subsided).

"You found Atlantis?" Sam (Winchester) squeaked in awe to Daniel after Jack had made a passing remark about contributing Atlantis' Ancient technology in assisting Starfleet's development of a stable wormhole network.

Daniel grinned goofily. "Oh yeah. It's in another galaxy. An entire city built as a giant space ship. Coolest ship I've ever seen. Beats even the Enterprise, sorry."

"Dean, can we?" If Sam had a tail, he'd be wagging it, begging to go.

"Maybe, Sammy, maybe. Only if Starfleet says yes and you definitely cannot stay. Period."

"Come on Dean! Daniel, you said it was a city-space ship, tell me more!"

Jack considered thumping his head off the desk as the geeks yet again dragged the negotiations far, far off track.


In the end, Carter and Spock managed to stabilize the prototype wormhole, ironing out the flux in time so that SGC wouldn't have to worry about time skipping past them anymore. In exchange for a 'rough sketch' of a working wormhole's schematics (Jack, Dean and Mitchell let their eyes glaze over as Carter slammed down a very large tome of plasti-paper and Spock practically salivated over it), Starfleet sent SG-1 a functioning Miranda-class ship (Pike had given the Winchesters a very bad five minutes when he falsely insinuated that the Impala would be going with the SG-1 team permanently).

In return, apparently Daniel and Jack were staying behind to tag along with the Impala to this giant pyramid that no one had been able to unlock. According to legend, it was one of the universe's first libraries. Daniel was in seventh heaven, studying up on the new culture with all the voracity of a starving piranha. Naturally, Jack groaned and moaned about going to a library but when someone volunteered to take his place, he back-pedalled pretty quickly.

And when someone mentioned the Lucien Alliance or the last of the Ori priors, thereby dimming Daniel's enthusiasm, Jack sent them a very nasty glare. They promptly shut up.

In exchange, the Enterprise was going to visit Earth.

The crew thought this fantastic. Kirk was excited until he realized an entire delegation of diplomats were hitchhiking on his ship and the SG-1 team members scuttled off into the shadows, all too well-acquainted with diplomats. The last thing a woebegone Kirk saw was his sniggering friend, Dean Winchester waving gleefully as Jack O'Neill flipped the Enterprise captain a mocking two-fingered salute.

Enterprise tripped over a Lucien Alliance ship robbing a poor honest trader on their way back to Earth. With unparalleled glee, Cam Mitchell got to pilot the great ship into battle as part of his training. Someone had to at least teach other SGC personnel how to pilot the shiny new Earth ship Sharpe and Kirk figured a practical approach was best for the experienced Earth pilot.

They put the run on the Lucien Alliance in five minutes flat.


"General Landry, sir." Carter and Mitchell snapped to attention as the slightly flabbergasted general peered around the Enterprise's bridge, full of gleaming glass, white plasti-steel, a highly professional crew and one charismatic captain.

"This isn't the one we get to keep, is it?" he asked in bewilderment.

"Afraid not," Kirk replied. "Captain Jim Kirk, USS Enterprise. And I've been told by Starfleet that the Sharpe is the only ship we'll be providing. We're bending our regulations as it is. You'll have to figure out how to build your own ships and from what we've seen of your universe, a Constitution class ship would be overkill, not to mention disastrous in the wrong hands."

General Landry stepped forward to shake the impressive young man's hand. "Fair enough. Let's get down to business, shall we?"


"Dan-iel."

It had taken the eldest Winchester exactly thirty seven minutes of working with Dr. Daniel Jackson to perfect his own version of Jack's exasperated, bored moniker.

"What, Dean?"

"Are we done yet?"

There was an answering, vaguely negative mumble.

"Jack. Seriously dude. I am roasting my ass off and he's been sitting there for six damn hours like some sort of geeky Buddha."

Jack was inclined to agree with the long suffering captain, who had opted to stay planet-side for adventure instead of floating around in space going cross-eyed with boredom while Sam ran extrapolations on gas giants. The retired general stepped up, bringing a decade's worth of Daniel-wrangling to bear on the archaeologist.

"Daniel. You've gotta be getting close now."

"Look Jack, this is an entirely new culture. You wanna give it a try?" There was that unconsciously triumphant/challenging note in Daniel's voice.

Bingo.

"Sure. I'll just get out the C-4." Jack reached for his pack and flipped up the top.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait." Pause. "I got it." And off Daniel went on a tangent, rattling off undoubtedly interesting history as he slipped ancient stones together until the pyramid rumbled dustily, the doors sliding open with an awful groan of ancient gears.

Dean stared at Jack with new-found respect as they followed Daniel into the musty darkness.

"Dude. You're my hero."