Dear Mary–Sue,

Firstly, congratulations! You're getting married.

Secondly, I have some tips for you. Tips for dealing with your soon-to-be husband, Portgas D. Ace.

The most obvious to be said, he has narcolepsy. Don't take it personally if he falls asleep while eating the food you cooked him. And trust me, as he is a D, you will be cooking a lot of food from now on.

You should also get used to eat-and-run style dinners. You will be having those frequently.

Never bring up the parent topic with him. I'm afraid he's still a little sad about the loss of his mother, and talking about his father is simply out of the question.

He has daddy issues up the wazoo, if you know what I mean.

And please, don't tell him about this letter.

He thinks I'm dead.

Your soon-to-be brother-in-law,