Summary: Hermione never kissed Ron during the Final Battle. Ron never voiced his true feelings. Then she was gone and he moved on. But Hermione's back and Ron has a second chance to get it right without causing collateral damage.
The idea for this story came from a reader, evilelmo666, who presented me with lyrics from Bon Jovi's song, Bed of Roses and I loved the concept. Here are some of the lyrics that stood out to me:
Now as you close your eyes
Know I'll be thinking about you
While my mistress she calls me to stand in her spotlight again
Tonight I won't be alone
But you know that don't mean I'm not lonely
I've got nothing to prove for it's you that I'd die to defend
I wanna lay you down in a bed of roses
For tonight I'll sleep on a bed of nails
I wanna be just as close as your Holy Ghost is
And lay you down on a bed of roses
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter
Bed of Roses
Chapter 1: I Made My Bed
This was what it feels like to live inside of your own horrible mistake: The evidence of my stupidity and carelessness being thrown in my face on a daily basis. Whether I'm at work or at home I'm being reminded of it, of how screwed up I am. And it's all my fault, how my life has turned out. Well, alright, I don't have a terrible life. At least I didn't think so until she finally returned. I could say that I had no choice. That she rejected me because she was the one who left, then came back assuming things would be the same; that I would be the same.
But by then it was already too late. I had changed, but only because I lost her. I had lost her when I never even had her. How the fuck is that even possible? I should've let my feelings known; should've acted on the obvious tension that was so intense between us, but I was too bloody scared to risk my heart, and then she was gone and I had to let her go. I had to, but I didn't, not actually. No matter how hard I try it's impossible for my heart not to race when I see her now. After a whole year of her absence, only receiving an owl once a month to maintain our friendship, I now get to see her every day, in the corridors of the Ministry, when we all get together with Harry and Ginny and the rest of our Hogwarts friends, at the Burrow where she visits Mum and Dad who invite her to every birthday and… she's just always there… all the time, and it's doing my head in. When I hear her talk, laugh… even when she sodding blinks I want to simultaneously smile until my face breaks and stab myself in the eye with a damn fork. And all of this because of my heart and its stupid feelings; it doesn't know it's not supposed to react to her. It doesn't know that I'm supposed to have those heart skipping moments with another, because she is unattainable… because that is how she wants it. I have to remind myself that she doesn't want me and if she wouldn't have left, would she? She wouldn't've been gone so bleeding long if she felt anything for me… would she?
And that's fine because I have someone who loves me… who wants to love me. Does it matter that I don't love this other person? If you ask her she'd tell you that I do, and to not be silly. And why would she think that? Well, maybe it was when I decided that moving in together after only six months of going together was a brilliant idea… yeah, that might've been it. I may have even agreed when she said she loved me, and when she asked if I loved her back I may have said yes, but I know that I have never said those three words out loud to her, nor has she ever asked me to. I wonder why she would let me get away with not returning the one phrase that every bird wants to hear? And does she have any idea of my true feelings? That I'm in love with someone else? Maybe she does and hopes that I'd get over it and learn to love her. Or maybe I'm the one hoping that in time I could accept what this perfectly lovely girl is offering me and learn to love her… and the thought makes me sick to my stomach. But the thought of hurting her makes me feel even worse, like a retched human being. I think on some level I want to prove to myself that I didn't just get with her to fill a void that the person I really love probably doesn't even realize she was supposed to fill.
Before I knew what was happening she was sleeping over my flat, had a drawer with her frilly nighties filling it, and then another; her girly things in the bathroom. Everywhere I turned I could smell her; that smell of lavender perfume, and lotions, and fucking shampoo. If her name had been Putrid I shudder to think what would be filling my nostrils every day. But who doesn't love the smell of lavender, right? Even in excess it's a lovely odor, relaxing even… And she's so sweet, and nice, and loving, and treats me like I'm a king, which I have to admit feels damn good, but more often than not I feel like a twat because even though we have a great relationship, Lavender and I, the love that I have for her – And I realize I do love her on some level or else I wouldn't be with her – it will never to the degree of what I feel for Hermione.
A/N: Super short chapter, I know, but I wanted to sort of set the tone and ease into the plot as it is a bit out of my comfort zone. As you can tell it's after the battle and Ron is with Lavender, not with Hermione… yet. I assure you this IS a Romione story! Anything else would be ridiculous, right? Pfft. Anyway, like it says in the summary the kiss during the battle in the book never happened, at least not in the same way as the book. Lots more will be revealed as the story progresses. This isn't going to be a long story, but I want to update as often as possible so the chapters are probably going to be around the same length.
I am also going to continue to work on Anxious and Look at Me. Those stories are much longer and are like my children so I nurture them differently than I do my other projects. I will be updating those soon!
I would really appreciate some feedback, so please review! Thank you so much for reading!