Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Chapter 9 Part II: Bed of Roses
Hermione's beside me in a flash, horrified. "Why did you do that? I had every right to read what was in that letter! You didn't have to do that, Ron!" she screams at me, tears rolling down her face. "I already know... I just wanted to read it for myself, and now I can't because you're a … a bloody idiot!"
I'm shocked, both by her words and what I've just done, and before I can respond, she pushes me angrily out of her way and turns her back to me. Shit, what've I done?
"Hermione, I'm sorry... but I can explain things better than some barmy letter," I say, pleading to her back, which is trembling. "Well, maybe not. I'm shit with words, but I can try! I just can't let that be the way. I... I need to do this on my own, without help and... wait. What do you know?"
"I don't know anything," she says, without even turning around. But I know she's lying. I walk up to her and grab her by the elbow. Her eyes flash angrily at me when she twists around; they're wet with tears and her chin is trembling. She glances at the blackened pile of ash in the fire and sighs as if she just lost something so precious.
"You know... about the letter? But how... I'm confused."
"Did you mean what you said?" she asks, ignoring my question and confusing me even more. "You want to tell me yourself, what was in that letter?"
"Yeah, I did. I do. I mean, I want to." How am I supposed to tell her anything when I can't take my foot out of my mouth?
"Then I'll tell you everything, as well. I promise. But only after you've had your say. Is that fair?"
My hand drops from her elbow and I chuckle, shaking my head at the absurdity of the night and this very conversation. "I have no idea what's fair anymore, Hermione. I can't even tell my arse from my head right now, to be honest with you." Then I'm serious and nod, because her expression is the same as she had in the kitchen, before she hit me. "But yeah, alright. I can do that."
Hermione seems to relax as she moves around me to sit on the sofa again, with a straight back. And she peers up at me, waiting for me to join her. After taking a deep breath, I sit on the next cushion and then move a bit closer, turning so that my back is against the arm and I'm facing her. She does the same, facing me, and there is no where else to look except at each other.
"Alright, so... okay, do you remember that night at Hogwarts, during the war, before Fred... before he died?"
"I remember everything about that day, Ron," she says, and then shivers. "Vividly. Why do you ask?"
"Do you remember, after we came back from the Chamber of Secrets, after you killed that Horcrux, and-"
"Ron, where are you going with this?" She trembles and brings her socked feet up on the sofa, wrapping her arms around her bent legs.
"Sorry, I don't mean to bring all this shit up. I don't want to upset you. I just need to explain what's going on, and I have to start there. I dunno, just let me get through this, yeah?"
"Fine, continue," she says with a sigh, and rests her chin on her knees. Okay, I can do this.
"Right. So we were in the Room of Requirement with Harry, and everything was going mad out there, and I said something about the elves or whatever-"
"You said we should save them," she interrupts and lifts her head. "You didn't want another Dobby." She smiles. "I remember thinking how selfless you were and-"
"But there was something... I wanted to- but it looked like you were going to- but then you didn't..."
"Y-yes. I remember," Hermione says, then she looks lost in thought. "I wasn't sure if you had felt it, too. I had a second to decide... I wanted to kiss you, but didn't know if it was the right time, and Harry was there and the war was going on. I often wonder what would've happened had I just taken the risk and just- " She frowns. "Why didn't you just kiss me? What is wrong with us?"
"I don't fucking know." I rub my face and blow out a deep breath, dumbfounded, because I can't believe she felt the same way this whole time and had I known- But I did know, didn't I? Deep down inside my gut I had some sort of clue, but was too scared to act on it... and then she left. "We're both bloody idiots, aren't we?"
"It does seems that way," Hermione says grimly, staring down at her hands. We're both silent for a moment, and I watch as she plays with the hem of her jeans. "I should have never left," she says quietly.
"I wish you hadn't, either," I say, and she finally looks at me, and it feels so fucking good to say it out loud, to her face. "I had no clue how to bring it up, how badly I wanted you to come back... but I was in such a fucked up place with Fred and my family... I figured you wanted to stay away from all the misery, so I shut up about it. But I missed you like hell, Hermione. I was so angry with you for leaving."
I can feel those old feelings bubbling up again. The ones that I stamped down by telling myself she must've had a good reason to have left the way she did, to leave me. I had felt selfish and horrible for feeling an ownership over her, especially since we were nothing more than best mates at the time. But we were, so much more, and I must've realized it. We both did, and still she left, and still I let her go.
"I should have been here for you," Hermione continued, as my anger and regret doubled over. "But I thought I was doing the right thing, giving you space. I wasn't in a great place myself, and the last thing you or your family needed was to look after me. I had to get my parents-"
"I would've gone with you."
"I know, and that's why I left the way I did. Your family needed you, Ron. You needed them."
"But I wanted you."
"Then why didn't you tell me that before I left? Why didn't you write me to come back?"
"What was I supposed to say? Come back so I can cry on your shoulder so then you can be just as miserable as I am? That I missed you like hell, and I wish I had kissed you that night? That I -" There's a lump in my throat when I realize what I just said out loud, and what I almost said, and I'm panicking.
"Yes!" Hermione cries, and grabs my forearm. Her palm is cool against my warm skin, and the contact is making me mental. My eyes are itching and I inhale a shuddering breath, willing myself to calm down... "Exactly like that! Because I did want to kiss you that night! And I would have come back in a heartbeat had I any indication you wanted me, too. But you let on that things were going well without me."
I'm frustrated. How could I have been so stupid? How could she, Hermione, of all people, be this daft? I'm shit when it comes to feelings, but isn't she supposed to get these things? "I didn't need or want your pity, Hermione. You seemed happy and were better off without me, yeah? Isn't that the real reason you left? I was too much to handle with a dead brother and all that. I was a sodding mess."
"That is not true at all. Did you really think that?" Her grip on my arm slackens, and I feel bile rise up in my throat to join the lump already there.
"I used to, now I'm not so sure. Still, you left because of me, for whatever reason-"
"And I've regretted it! Don't you see? And I came back, despite all of it. For you! Besides, you had Lavender..."
"Yeah, I did. And I fucked that up, too," I say, the mention of Lavender's name pulling me back to reality. I stare down at Hermione's hand still atop my arm, with its small tapered fingers and unpolished nails. Lavender has about every shade of color to cover hers. I doubt Hermione owns one bottle of that smelly stuff... "Her parents, they died during the war, and we sort of connected that way, I guess. We helped each other. But I never meant to- I never set out to hurt her. It all just- happened."
I see her hands tighten once more around my arm. "Well, I'm grateful she was there for you, really I am. I just wish I was the one to... to be with you." I catch her eye, and before I can say anything she takes a deep breath and continues talking rapidly, "I heard you and Lavender outside the pub. You were talking about the letter and the pendant, about me. And she said you never told her you loved her. And you said you wanted to do the right thing. And those awful things she said to you. She was so angry and I felt so badly for her. And you're still not very good with your words, Ron. Honestly, you have to work on that."
I moan loudly to keep her from talking and sag heavily against the back of the sofa. I can't hear anymore of this. I feel like I'm going to be sick. I'm reliving that botched up break-up all over again through Hermione's eyes, and I'm mortified, but also a bit hacked off. I sit up suddenly and glare at her. "Are you fucking kidding me? You saw all of that? Blimey, Hermione. Where were you? Hiding out somewhere?"
She bites her lip and looks at me guiltily. "Disillusionment charm. I was hiding in a doorway," she says with her head down, then looks up at me with pleading eyes. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to eavesdrop, really I didn't. Well, maybe I did a bit, but I was only going out for some air. Then I saw the two of you, and didn't want to interrupt. But then I heard her say my name, and I had to know what was going on. I'm so sorry."
I let out a snort of laughter, because really- could this night get any more weird?
"You're not upset?" she asks timidly, and I stare at her as if she's gone mad.
"Fuck it all, I dunno," I sigh heavily, and I sit forward with my elbows on my knees. "I dunno what the hell I'm doing anymore." She slides closer to me, our thighs now touching, and her hand is on my arm again. I can feel her looking at me, and out the corner of my eye, I see her head cocked to the side and her bushy ponytail hanging over her shoulder. But I can't look at her.
"Ron, look at me." She's adopted her no-nonsense tone, which makes me turn, whether I want to or not. I can feel the heat rise to my cheeks and ears because she's gazing at me so intently, making sure that what she says next I will know to be the absolute truth. "I don't care. I'm sorry, but... I don't care about any of that. I am so sick of caring!" She stands up and my eyes follow her; she looks fit to burst. "I don't- I don't want to care anymore! For so long I thought I was doing the right thing. And here you thought you were doing the right thing, and we're both stupid for it! I worried myself sick about you, and this whole time you- you..."
"I love you."
She stops and we're staring at each other, stunned. Holy fuck, did I just say that out loud? I mean, it's been talked around this entire time, and she must know already...
"You love me..."
Not the response I was hoping for.
"What are you so scared of?" Hermione asks, and her hand is shaking as it reaches out and strokes the lining of my jaw. I probably should've shaved after my shower today, but she seems to like it, and I can't help but compare her reaction to Lavender's who used to complain of its scratchiness.
"I'm not scared," I say unconvincingly. "It's just... you didn't-"
"I love you, too," she says in one fast breath.
"Shit." Not my best moment, but better than most, I reckon.
She laughs and tears are pooling in her eyes as she shakes her head at me. "Ron..."
"I know, sorry. I'm not the best at this sort of thing," I say, and I rub the back of my neck nervously.
Suddenly, I'm pushed back against the sofa; Hermione's face is only a few centimetres away, and it finally feels more than possible that this could be actually be happening. I'd wanted this for so long, and had I known...
My hand, usually too large and clumsy, finds the back of her neck so swiftly that its like it has a mind of its own, and I'm pulling her roughly to me, closing those centimetres into nothing. Our lips crash together and we gasp, our mouths opening and tongues reaching and swirling over the other's. I don't know when, but she had found her way into my lap, straddling me, and she's squirming, and it's all so much at once. My hands, still of its own accord, apparently, are cupping her arse and squeezing her through her tight jeans, pulling her in closer. I can't get enough.
I want to touch every part of her; I want to taste everything I've missed out on for long because we were both too stupid to say or do anything. And if her frenzied hands on my chest and back are anything to go by, she's feeling the exact same way.
"Oh, god... Ron," she mumbles, and then she gasps as she links her fingers together behind my neck and pulls her lower half in closer; my hands are on her back, helping to pin our chests together. "Oh, Ron, you feel so good. I always imagined..."
"Shit, Hermione. For how long? Tell me, please," I murmur, before her long and beckoning neck is engulfed in my kisses and my tongue is leaving a trail of wetness behind, and fuck everything else because this feels so fucking right.
"Since... oh-" She shudders and wraps her arms more securely around my shoulders, her tits smashing into my chest. "I dunno, third year? Fifth? Who cares?" She drops her forehead, pressing her nose against my neck under my ear.
"Damn, that's a long time. I've loved you for just as long, maybe longer. I dunno. Fuck, you smell brilliant."
My hands are on her bare back, under her blouse, fingers grazing her bra as I continue my attack on her neck and collarbone. I'm so hard, and I'm trying not to thrust upwards, but with her gyrating over me, I'm finding it bloody difficult to think of anything else.
"Hermione, wait... Stop for a second."
"What? What is it? Why'd you stop?" She sits up and there's a halo of frizz around her head, and her ponytail is loose (I don't even remember doing that.). Her eyes are bright and wide and her chest is heaving with quick breaths. She's swallowing thickly, panting, and her lips are pink and swollen from mine...
My voice is low and comes out in a way that makes her sigh, and then she bites her lip again. Sod it.
I grab her face, covering her flushed cheeks with my hands, and I pull her in again to a searing kiss. I want to throw everything else from my mind: Lavender, my mum's words of advice, worrying about how soon all of this is happening, protocols and proper waiting periods between an ex and a new... girlfriend? Is that what Hermione is now? My girlfriend? Do we have to put on labels and say it out loud? Isn't saying 'I love you' enough to be getting on with? Does she expect something more? Some sort of declaration before we-
There's a ripping sound that jolts me out of my thoughts. Hermione had leaned away from me and I feel a draft across my chest: She's used her wand to rip my shirt clear off of me.
"What- What did you do?" I ask, bewildered and amused.
"I do believe I've gone mental, haven't I?" Hermione says with a laugh, and throws my ruined shirt over her shoulder.
I slide my hands up her sides and back down again, reveling in the feel of her. The image of Hermione sitting on top of me with her wild hair and eyes, cute up-turned nose, and pink cheeks making the spatter of freckles across them more pronounced, takes my breath away.
"Maybe a bit mental, yeah," I say with a grin. "But that's why I love you, innit?"
She leans forward and kisses me hard on the mouth, holding her lips there and exhaling through her nose. I squeeze her to me and press back, giving her everything I have inside of me through that one kiss. When she pulls away, it's quick, and we're both out of breath as she holds her wand out for me to grab and says, "Here, you do it. I'm too nervous."
I take it and, confused at first, ask, "Do what?" She gives me a look. "Oh! Oh, right... Are you sure? I mean, bloody hell. Seriously?"
"Yes," she says impatiently and blows a strand of hair out of her eyes. "Before I change my mind."
"If you're gonna change your mind, then maybe we shouldn't-"
"I'm not going to change my mind!"
"But you just said-"
"Oh, for heaven's sake, Ron."
She scrambles off my lap and snatches her wand from my hand. I'm too stunned to protest, and instead, I watch in awe as she takes a long steadying breath before she closes her eyes, points her wand at her abdomen and mutters a spell. After tossing her wand to the floor she starts unbuttoning her jeans and I have to gulp in order to get air into my lungs.
"Yes, I know," Hermione says with a nervous laugh. She's still short of breath as she pushes her jeans down her tanned and shapely legs that meet at her center, which is covered in a pair of silky-looking dark blue knickers.
When she walks back to me I tilt my head back so that I can look up at her face. I move to the edge of the sofa and stop her, my hands on her hips, fingers on the edge of her knickers. The feel of her warm skin and cool fabric is doing my head in. I lower my gaze, and her fingers are in my hair as the heat from between her legs radiates off my chin.
"Oh, sweet Merlin," I moan, and close my eyes, leaning in blindly to kiss the sliver of skin between her shirt and knickers. Fingernails are scratching my scalp, and I moan again, taking her shirt in my teeth and pulling it away from her, opening my eyes to watch it snap back against her belly. "I want you so fucking bad, Hermione. Are you sure you want this? Do you really want me? For keeps?"
"For keeps, yes." I look up at her again, and she's smiling widely down at me. I let go of the guilt, the uncertainty and the cowardice that held me back for so long, and I smile back, just as happily. Her hands leave my hair and grab the hem of her blouse, pulling it up and over her head. Her bra is a plain white cotton; they don't match her knickers and for some odd reason that makes my heart soar. I'm reminded of Lavender's underthings (that she insists are called lingerie), and how tight and uncomfortable they looked on her, how they always had to match.
I shake my head to clear it of anything but Hermione, of us. I lean in again and press my lips to her naked stomach, over her belly button. She sucks in a sharp breath, and it concaves, so I lean in more, using my hands on the small of her back to keep her still. Her hands are braced on my shoulders, and I can feel her entire body quivering. I see her legs shaking; she struggles to remain upright as I kiss all over her stomach, running my tongue up the center to the bottom edge of her bra.
"Ron... I can't stand it," she says, her short nails digging into my shoulders, eyes closed and a grin on her face.
I stand up, and she doesn't move to allow me room, so as we stare into each other's eyes, with my hands are at the button of my jeans, my newly healed knuckles bump into the front of her knickers. With her hands holding onto my biceps, I purposely drag the zipper down with the back of my hand pressed firmly into her.
Hermione bends forward with me as I push my trousers down to my ankles and step out of them. And then we're both standing in her living room wearing only our underwear. We start laughing together, which seems to break the tension, and all of a sudden I'm picking her up by her waist, dragging her up off her feet and kissing her. We're laughing into each other's mouths as her legs go around my waist.
I stop, my hands under her arse, holding her up, and ask, "Wait, so you've never... you know?"
She looks taken aback by the question, but I have to make sure. Then she shakes her head and says, "No, I haven't."
"Yes, seriously! Why is that so hard to believe? Do I have 'slag' written across my forehead? I do have standards, thank you very much." She's laughing, but I can see she's nervous, which means she's telling the truth. Blimey.
"And I don't?"
"I- I never said that. I just meant that I wasn't in a serious relationship, so therefore didn't want to-"
"Hermione, I'm taking the piss."
She groans and rolls her eyes before taking my head in her hands. "No more talking, agreed?"
And we're kissing again, more frantically than before, but now my mind is reeling with the idea of taking Hermione's virginity. I admit I hadn't wanted to think about her and another bloke going at it because when I did, I wanted to vomit, but she's just said she's never... fucking hell. How is this possible? She's beautiful, and brilliant, and so fucking kind. And that arse Trent had tried to... Right, don't think about that right now.
I stumble backwards, and my grip on her tightens.
"No, the bedroom," she sighs against my lips, and it's like my blood is boiling and racing through my body. I turn us around and walk towards one of the closed doors, but we don't make it before I slam her against a wall and my hands are everywhere. Hermione is gasping and moaning like no tomorrow, and it's turning me on like nothing else.
"Bedroom, Ron," she manages to say as I leave her mouth to suck on her earlobe.
I pick her up again, her knickers sliding under my palms, and make her squeal as I kick open the nearest door. Luckily there's a bed in this one. It's dark, but in the second before I throw her down on her large bed that takes up most of the room, and with the light from the living room flooding in, I can make out a large window with the white curtains drawn, a bookshelf stuffed with books (no surprise there), and a dresser topped with more books and frames of moving and stationary photos; no make-up or smelly perfumes. It's Hermione, and it's fucking perfect.
Hermione's body bounces against the bed, and for half a second, I feel bad for wrinkling her crisp white sheets. But then, with a wickedly sexy smile, she reaches behind her and throws some pillows on the floor. She drags herself further up the bed, and I raise my brow and climb up the bed to join her. My heart is beating out of my chest, and when I slide my hand up from her stomach to between her tits, I can feel her heart beating just as fast.
"This is gonna be fucking wicked," I say out loud, and cringe before Hermione starts laughing at me.
"I have no doubt," she says through her smile. "Now get down here already."
"Right. No more talking."
I lay my fingertips on her lips and trace the smile that hasn't left since we first kissed. And I use this second to take all of her face in, the way she's staring up at me with trust and love in her eyes. Then my desire takes over, and I kiss her again, taking my time to really taste her and listen to every sound she makes. Every moan and gasp fills the space that I had left for her, hoping she'd return, and then wishing I had a chance to tell her, really show her, how I feel. And now I have her, and I'm full enough to burst.
She's so bloody soft, and I want to be gentle, but the passion between us is so overwhelming that every time she rubs my back or her nails scrape down my arms, I grab at her hips, her thighs, her tits...
Hermione lifts her chest up to mine and I reach around to unclasp her bra, which comes loose with a snap. And when she falls back onto the bed, her tits are exposed, small dark nipples, hard, and entirely too tempting. I don't hesitate to take one into my mouth while kneading the other, and they both fit perfectly in my mouth and my hand. Her fingers are in my hair almost immediately, her hands pressing down on my head. I'm lost in the taste of her until she presses down harder, and I grin when I realize what she wants. And whether or not she's had it done to her before, I don't fucking care because my lips, and my hands, will be the only ones to ever touch her again.
"Mmmm... yessss," Hermione hisses as my mouth descends between her legs, sucking her through her knickers. "Off... now."
"Bossy in bed, too," I mutter. "Good to know."
Hermione starts to take her knickers off, but I brush her hands aside and peel them down her legs, waggling my brows at her. She covers her face with her hands, and she groans and laughs simultaneously. I've never seen her like this before, nervous and giddy all at once, and it's doing my head in.
"Relax," I whisper and she nods, then drops her hands, revealing a very red face, and there's that smile again...
And she tastes so fucking sweet, and wet, and slick with want. I keep her legs steady with both hands on her inner thighs as I bring her up and through an orgasm that makes her entire body tremble, and she cries out so loudly that I fear the neighbour one floor above us or below can hear. But then her body sags into the mattress and I lift my head, rubbing my aching jaw.
"That was... brilliant," she says, breathlessly, and holds her arms out for me. I sit up and, not looking away from her flushed cheeks and sweaty brow, I take my pants off. Then, careful not to crush her, I fall into her open arms, settling my body between her legs, which she wraps around my waist, still shaking.
When I enter her, it isn't swift and fast, but inch by inch, until I'm encased in her warmth. Once again, a perfect fit. Of course...
"Oh my god," she says, her voice catching, and when I look at her, tears are falling over the sides of her cheeks into her hair.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I just..." She starts crying even more and struggles to catch her breath, then sputters out, "Sorry, it's just that- I love you... so much."
I'm staring down at her, stunned, as she starts laughing and covers half her face with one hand, her body now shaking beneath me with sobs and laughter.
I drop my head into the crook of her neck and laugh along with her. Then, not all that surprisingly, I realize my own eyes are wet against her skin. I'm fucking crying.
"Completely mental," I mutter and she's laughing again. "I love you, too, you barmy girl."
I thrust into her once and that seems too calm her down a bit as her nails dig further into my back, and she sucks in a sharp breath. I move again, and again, and with each push and pull, her breathing becomes more and more labored, and her hands slide lower until she's at my hips, urging me to go faster.
I want to make it last for her, make it special, but she's gyrating like mad under me, crying out, and when I kiss her, she bites and drags my bottom lip through her teeth, and I'm fucking gone. I pump harder and faster, and she's going mental with her chin in the air, and she looks so damn close...
"Fuck... I'm gonna cum," I pant.
"Let go, Ron. Oh god!" Hermione's arms fly around my neck, and she pulls me down on top of her, flush against her skin so I feel our sweat sliding between us, and her tits are squashed against my chest. And still moving at a speed that is making the bed bang against the wall, I spill into her. I'm frozen for a moment before I slow to a stop. Then, as gently as possible, I let my body collapse on top of hers.
I rub my face into Hermione's neck, under her chin, as her fingers, which I'd wager were magical in and of themselves, stroke my hair off my sweaty forehead. I swear to Merlin, I could sleep for days if it weren't for her heart pounding so hard I can feel it thumping against mine.
"Thank you," I say, then prop myself on one elbow to look down at her. She looks at me with a dreamy expression, her eyes still wet and her hair sticking to her cheeks, and I've never felt happier, or luckier, in my life.
"For what, exactly?"
"For waiting for me. I wish I had done the same." My smile slips and her hand is on my cheek.
"Forget it," she says sternly, her smile gone. "No more of this 'should have' or 'could have' nonsense. We're both responsible for our parts in this, and I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for leaving, but... we're together now, and I've waited far too long to waste time wallowing in what-ifs... Can we at least try?"
I nod, and tell myself not to fucking cry, you prat.
"Yeah, we can do that."
Her smile returns. "Sorted."
I chuckle to myself, and when she gives me a curious look, I say, "You do realize there will probably be a party of some sort to celebrate this?"
"I'll owl Molly in the morning," she says without hesitation, and I fall in love all over again.
A/N: I saved my notes for the end so I wouldn't interrupt the flow of the story. Also, because it is super duper extra long. You've been warned!
So, this is the end, folks! Ron and Hermione are together, as they should be, proving that no matter what, or who, gets in the way (even themselves) they belong together, and they will always be together in the end. (is that enough commas? I don't think so…,,,)
This is the first chaptered story that I've ever finished so this is kind of a big deal (to me anyways). So, I want to thank everyone who has read this story, liked it or not, because you gave it a chance, and for that I am grateful. I'd like to thank those who put this story on alert and in their favorites. I get an email each time and it makes me smile, so thanks! Also, to those who have reviewed, and will continue to do so with this final chapter, a huge thank you to you guys! Believe it or not, I have taken each one to heart and, good or bad, they have helped grow me as writer, and as a person.
I want to thank my beta, Hedwigshero, who is brilliant, funny, and a truly beautiful person, inside and out! She helped me with the later chapters, when things really went down, and I honestly couldn't have gone through all those emotions, which Ron and Hermione put all of us through, without her. Tara, you are the BEST! And I love you so very much!
And lastly, I'd like to thank TMBlue! She actually beta'ed this chapter for me when Hedwigshero couldn't, and she's also the reason why it is being updated at 2am, lol! TM, it has been an astounding pleasure getting to know you. To call you my friend still makes me fangirl like no one's business! Lol But even more than that, to have you read my work and then go through it with your level of talent… there are no words.
I will be writing for my other chaptered story, Look at Me, in a few days! So if you haven't read it, please know that, first, there is no Lavender (lol), and second, I adore writing it as it follows along with DH. So please, check it out! I will update that story regularly until it is finished.
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Thanks for reading and please, review!