Author's Note: Hello everyone. I know it's been awhile so I thought that it would be prudent to-
Yue: You bet it's been awhile! What have you been doing? I signed a contract to be in this fanfic and here we are over three month delays between updates. OverMaster's Unequally Rational and Emotional has been updated three times since you've updated. I can't work on this schedule.
Flying Frog: Well I'm sorry but real life outside of the internet is kicking my butt. As a student, I'm sure you understand.
Nodoka: What do you mean?
Flying Frog: Well I've got my college classes. I have three ten page papers due this semester, a writing assignment due everyday, in addition to my job cleaning carpets and-
Haruna: No one comes here to hear your pity-party or weak excuses for the long update.
Flying Frog: Didn't Nodoka just ask what I was doing when I wasn't writing?
Yue: We didn't need an autobiography.
Flying Frog: Would you have been satisfied if I simply said I was busy and would try and do better?
Nodoka: Probably not. Most authors say that and then real life catches up to them and stories end up abandoned. Or...or at least I think that's the case.
Flying Frog: So no matter what I did, it wouldn't have sufficed?
Haruna: You got it honey.
Flying Frog: I can't win.
Yue: We're junior high school girls fighting each other for the affection of a ten year old. You won't win no matter what happens.
Flying Frog: You know, that actually sounds pretty disturbing when you put it that way.
Haruna: It's Negi. He's an exception.
Flyring Frog: Right...and has anyone been able to say why he's the exception other than...'he's Negi'?
Haruna: Everyone's shota for Negi. It's a fact of life.
Flying Frog: Right...okay here's the disclaimer. I don't own Negima, Trigun, or any other character from any other anime you may or may not coincidentally recognize. I only own the difference in the plot points, and even then I'm not making any money.
Everyone stared at the strange newcomer with varying degrees of shock as he continued his little dance while waving a large handgun without ever pointing it at anyone. Evangeline was gritting her teeth in frustration as the man in red sashayed around everyone until he was more or less behind Negi and the girls. "What are you doing here you idiot?"
Vash stretched and yawned loudly, forcing the girls in front of him to cover their noses from the overwhelming smell of doughnuts. "It's a long story kitty-"
"Don't call me that!"
"-and it started with me deciding to leave the desert Gunsmoke because I thought a change in scenery would do me some good."
"But what are you doing here in Mahora?"
"Would you believe me if I said I wanted to go camping in the mountains but got lost?"
"Well that's just horrible." Vash slumped forward, anime tears streaming down his face. He turned towards Yuna. "Can you believe children these days. They absolutely refuse to..." Vash blinked. "AHHH!"
Yuna stepped back, bumping into Cocone in the process, the normally aware girl standing in silence, staring at Vash. "WAH! What? Is there something of my face? Am I injured but the adrenaline is keeping me from feeling it? What?" Instead of answering, Vash merely took the gun from her hands, admired it for a few seconds, then handed it back to her with reverence.
"Such a stunning specimen! Truly a wonder before my eyes. It's a shame that I never saw true beauty before this night!" He was down on his hands and knees, kneeling in front of Yuna. "Oh pretty girl! Please let me know your name!"
"SAY WHAT?" Yuna jumped back, trying to push Vash off of her as he started hugging her legs. "Hey, get off of me you pervert!"
"Never! My life cannot be complete save I know the name of the beauty wielding the beautiful gun! Is it a derringer? I know a pretty insurance girl who carries a butt-load of them!"
Yue face-palmed. "This guy's way too cheesy." Nodoka nodded and Cocone rolled her eyes.
Negi stepped forward and tapped the man on the shoulder. Vash turned and glanced at Negi bowing before him. "I'd like to thank you for saving me."
Vash waved him off. "No need to thank me. I was only dancing and my gun went off. Sorry about that." All the girls surrounding their teacher fell over anime-style (and accidentally gave both Negi and Vash a view of their panties.) Only Evangeline and Chachamaru didn't. Chachamaru tilted her head slightly to the right and Evangeline was clenching and unclenching her fist at her side.
"Sure, he just happened to shoot me in the middle of a dance by accident." Vash and Negi both ignored her.
"So what's your name kid?"
"Negi Springfield. I teach English here." At Negi's name, the goofy grin the man had immediately faded. Neither Yue nor Nodoka knew how to explain it, but they had the feeling that suddenly, the man in front of them was not the same as the one who was flirting with Yuna. It was like the entire air around him changed and his eyes hardened considerably. Within a couple of seconds, however, the new mood and the look were gone, replaced by the doofus who danced into the fight.
"Negi? That means 'onion' right? That reminds me. I'm hungry. Where's the best place in this city to buy doughnuts?" At this point, Evangeline had enough.
"Chachamaru, forget the brats. Focus on Vash. He's the biggest threat here."
Chachamaru blinked. "...yes master." Chachamaru immediately charged the man in red. A blade slid out of her arm, replacing a hand to attack him.
Vash stumbled backwards, the blade missing him by inches. "GAH! A ROBOT! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! A ROBOT IS TRYING TO KILL ME!" Vash started running around in circles, tripping over himself constantly, desperately trying to avoid Chachamaru, all the while screaming like an infant child.
Negi was startled when he felt a hand grab him and start pulling him away. Nodoka's arm was attached to the hand as they tried to force their way back to the dorm, Yue holding onto Nodoka's other arm and leading them both. Yuna and Cocone were following them both from behind, using the gun and magic to take pot-shots at Chachamaru and hopefully keep her off of Vash. "Shouldn't we help him? He saved us after all?"
"He can take care of himself," Yuna muttered to herself angrily.
Negi tried to protest by gesturing back towards the vampire and robot fighting the man in red, but stopped short as they all saw what was going on.
Evangeline had joined Chachamaru in attacking Vash, and somehow despite all the collateral damage being done around him, remained completely untouched. His arms were waving around in panic, his voice was rising to the heavens at a very loud volume, but he was also stopping exactly when he needed to, he always leaned one way or another to avoid getting hit. And he somehow managed to get Evangeline and Chachamaru on opposite sides of him and they nearly hit each other while trying to hit him. Negi and the girls stared blankly for a few seconds. "I was right, he can take care of himself. Let's get back to the dorms," Yuna said, sounding less annoyed. The group simply shrugged and walked back, ignoring the shouts behind them.
"HOLD STILL YOU INGRATE!"
"WHOA KITTY, YOU NEED TO TAKE A CHILL PILL...AND STOP TRYING TO FREEZE ME!"
"I SAID DON'T CALL ME THAT!"
"Master, I'm detecting a pattern in his movements. He's less-"
"SHUT IT! IF I WERE AT FULL POWER THIS WOULD BE OVER BY NOW!"
Chamo was waiting for them when the five of them returned. "So...how did it go?"
One short explanation later had Chamo's eyes as large as they would go. "Heh...Negi got his first hicky tonight. I'm so proud of him." Yue frowned, picked up the heaviest encyclopedia they had, and accidentally dropped it on Chamo as she passed him by. "ANIMAL ABUSE!"
Yuna lifted her face from her palm to glare at him. "Negi almost died tonight, had his blood drank by Eva, a bullet could've hit him because some doofus was dancing, and you're celebrating him getting a hicky because Eva sucked on his neck!"
"Hold on there nee-san! Tonight proved a very valuable lesson as well! Please put the foot down and-NOT ON ME!"
"Girls, please," Negi pleaded with them. Yuna reluctantly took her foot off Chamo. Negi immediately ran to his aid. "Are you all right Chamo?"
"Totally...worth it. Saw...heaven." Yuna blushed and had to be physically restrained by the other three girls not to attack Chamo again.
Cocone finished her binding spell to keep Yuna in place, sighed and sat down next to Negi. "What was the valuable lesson?"
Chamo, having miraculously recovered, sat up and entered lecturing mode. "Well, had Negi gone on by himself, he'd be dead tonight. We learned that Evangeline is under a curse so her powers are quite limited," which was proven by her constant use of catalysts...however skilled with them she may be, "and you girls were able to keep her and Chachamaru off Aniki long enough to escape-"
"We didn't really do that much," Yue muttered. Chamo carried on as if he wasn't interrupted.
"-and that makes all you nee-sans perfect partners for Negi!" Cocone rolled her eyes, pointed a finger at the ermine and suddenly the desk was soaked as Chamo dodged an arrow made of water. "ANIMAL ABUSE...again."
Yue rubbed her forhead, groaning in half-annoyance and half-acceptance. "It always comes back to the Pactio's. Why are you so interested in setting Negi up with girl's? It can't be just because you want to see us kissing." A half beat later, Yuna's eyes widened and she leaped backwards.
"KISSING? Who said anything about kissing? I mean, yeah, it sounds kind of interesting and as a teenage girl, I have thought about what it's like and all, but what does that have to do with these magical contract thingies?"
Yue, Cocone, and Nodoka both glanced away, none of them comfortable answering. Chamo, however, was staring gobsmacked at Yuna. "You never kissed anyone? Seriously? You're kind of old."
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Yuna kicked Chamo.
Negi slumped forward. "What Chamo means is that since everyone who enters a provisional contract with me will gain some of my power and a magical artifact completely unique to them, you'd be able to help me. But as your teacher, I can't place any of you in danger." Negi's eyes started watering, visions of Evangeline killing him and his students filling his head. "She only wants me. Once she has what she wants, she'll leave."
"And you'll be dead Negster. Sorry, ain't letting that happening," Chamo jumped atop Negi's head. "So the best way to keep you alive, is to even the odds. Magic is the best tool you have, and through magic, you can give these girls the best tools they can have, and the best way to do that is through a pactio." Plus I'll get 50,000 ermine bucks for every one of them! For services rendered of course. heh heh heh. Chamo shook his head away, looked at Yuna, then continued. "So toots, the thing with the kissing is pretty simple. All you do is pucker and lay one on Aniki inside a magic circle and BOOM, you're his partner! You'll have magic powers, beyond any training you may or may not have had, an artifact, and can help him through thick and thin."
Yuna glanced out the window, seeing Vash and Eva still fighting, or more accurately, Eva and Chachamaru were fighting and Vash was running around in circles. Or more accurately, she was watching the flashes of gunfire and icebergs popping up in the distance. "Through thick and thin...magic. You know what, I'll do it!"
Surprise became a new fixture on the faces of three of the five other occupants of the room. Only Cocone, whose face was blank, and Chamo, whose face was gleeful, were the exceptions. Yue's eyebrow twitched a little. "YUNA-SAN! Don't you think you're rushing into it after just one bad experience? It's obvious he's just interested in watching Negi kiss girls."
Yuna glanced between Negi and Chamo. "But he's also right."
Nodoka was nearing hyperventilation at the thought of kissing Negi. By her side, Cocone rubbed her back, occasionally patting it to help the shy librarian breathe. Yue face-palmed. "Let's look at it this way. We are talking about kissing not only a minor, but also our homeroom teacher. Barring the illegality part of taking advantage of a minor," even if he's willing, I doubt the law would look at it the same way, "-but we are also dealing with the taboo of teacher/student relationships. If we go through with this, this is grounds to get him fired and we can get suspended, maybe even expelled. Not to mention having our memories erased."
Negi nodded, quickly latching onto anything to keep from kissing his students and dragging them into this mess. "I might also be turned into an ermine like Chamo if we're caught as well!"
Chamo shrugged. "Well smart-one. Does anyone with large foreheads and small breasts have any suggestions on what to do the next time Negi's attacked by a bloodthirsty vampire out for revenge?" A small avalanche of magical encyclopedia's (conveniently previously located from Negi's section of the bookshelf) chose that moment to fall on the ermine. "YO NEE-SAN! LESS VIOLENCE DIRECTED AT THE INNOCENT ANIMAL!"
Yue's brow twitched and a vein throbbed as she glared at her teacher's familiar. She liked to think she could keep her composure under most circumstances, but having her teacher as a roommate who sleptwalked into her's and Nodoka's bed, finding out magic was real, nearly being killed by a vampire (or simply held off by a robot of all things while the vampire tried to kill said teaching-roommate,) and having a magic gun that fired perfectly fine for Yuna but did absolutely nothing for her, all the while dealing with a perverted ermine familiar trying to get her to kiss her teacher, she felt she had legitimate reasons to lose it. "We don't need to rush into anything either. Before making a decision, we should look at all the facts."
"How about these for facts. Negi's a mage, magic is awesome, kissing sounds fun, a vampire is trying to kill him, and I want to help him. A pactio can help me help him." Yuna said stepping forward.
The entire discussion stopped when they heard the door open. Everyone got whiplash as their necks twisted swiftly to see. Haruna was rubbing her eyes in the doorway, some bags under her eyes. "Hey, keep it down would-ya? I think Chao-chan spiked my drink tonight with sleeping syrup and I am barely staying awake as it is. If you're going to have a party, could you wake me up first?" Haruna promptly collapsed on the couch, using Negi's lap as a pillow.
Cocone tilted her head. "Sleeping syrup?"
Yue shrugged. "It's the only way to keep her from molesting you in the middle of the night." Nodoka nodded, then yawned.
"Perhaps we should...discuss this tomorrow when we're more awake?"
Misora groaned. Doing laundry sucked! Where was Cocone when she was needed? Oh, right. Misora bit her bottom lip. She left her behind with Negi and the Dark Evangel. Cocone was probably dead now. And she didn't do anything to help. And if Negi survived, the chances of getting a pactio with him were almost moot.. He surely hated her. Misora threw herself face-first into her bed. Why was she such a coward. She was stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.
The door opened and Cocone walked in. Misora jumped up in elation. "You're alive! She didn't kill or dismember you? Did you beat her? Did Sensei...SENSEI! How's Negi?" Cocone stared at Misora a couple of seconds, turned and walked into the kitchen to make herself some dinner.
"Come on Cocone, don't be like that. You guys are safe, right? Negi's not hurt at all?" Cocone continued ignoring her. "Come on! I know you're a quiet person, but this is ridiculous. Please say something."
"You left us." Her voice was very soft. Softer than usual. Misora's head drooped.
"What did you expect me to do against the dark Evangel? She would've killed us all!" Cocone came out of the kitchen with some ramen and started eating it, once again studiously ignored her roommate. "I mean it's cool that you guys all came back. Uh, you did ALL come back, right?" A small nod was her only answer. "Great! So you all came back, so no harm done right?" The silence was deafening. "Right?"
Cocone finished her ramen, cleaned her dishes, and started changing for bed.
"Please talk to me! Something, anything! How did you guys get away? Did you defeat her? Was anyone injured? Talk to me!"
"You left us." Having changed into her nightie, she hopped into bed and turned so her back was towards Misora.
Author's Note: Okay, so like I said at the beginning of this (short) chapter, I was exceptionally busy during the college semester so I literally had no time to write and during Christmas break, my family started remodeling our house so that also kept me busy and-
Chamo: Oh lay off the excuses already!
Flying Frog: I was busy...
Yue: One of your readers sent you a PM asking for when you would update, you gave an answer AFTER the semester was over, and you still couldn't even keep that deadline you made.
Flying Frog: Well-
Nodoka: Um, I was wondering what the pairing was ultimately going to be? I'm guessing Yue will be the primary partner, she's the other main character in this fanfic...but will Negi end up with me...er...anyone?
Haruna: Don't let me miss that action!
Yue: Shouldn't I be there? I'm one of the protagonists here.
Haruna: Nodoka has the answer from the original canon right? (both Nodoka and Yue blush)
Flying Frog: Would you guys wait like everyone else!?
Chamo: Unequally Rational and Emotional updated three times in the time it took you to update once! And your chapter word count is not even a hundredth of Overmaster's chapters, so you have no excuses! We were contracted for this fanfiction, so you better deliver a complete product!
Flying Frog: Did I mention pay-raises?
Everyone else: We'll stop complaining!
*Haruna sits down and turns on the television.* Here we go. One fan-service filled episode of the greatest anime ever!
Negimon! Magical Monsters, Negimon have cool powers!
Negimon! Magical Monsters, Negimon have cool powers!
Kiss their ten year old teacher, to fight the wary of (spoken) LOVE!
Negimon! Magical Monster, Negimon have cool (static)
Haruna: What the heck?
Yue: *puts down remote* What...are you watching?
Haruna: Negimon! An epic anime about a bunch of junior high school girls meeting a powerful magic teacher and how they must ban together, get magical contracts, train to achieve their ultimate level of ability and end up fighting to protect the magical world! All the while each girl one-by-one gets a huge crush on their teacher and compete constantly over getting to spend time with him and build on their relationship so it becomes something beyond teacher/student and friends.
Yue:...that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. What kind of nut-job could ever hope to take that on?