Disclaimer: how I wished I owned this series. Then I wouldn't be agonizing about these stories playing in my head all the time!
Okay, really should be working on my series but I had to get these great scenes out of my head as fast as possible. Batfluff ahead, and lots of embarrassment. has series cannon couples so slash lovers, get over it. ;p
"Need any help?" Robin offered as he piloted the Bio-ship towards the mountain. He felt he could put it on autopilot by now. They were almost there anyway.
Aqualad struggled to keep his constructs in place. "As much as I would appreciate it, you have your own hands full."
"We could just gas 'em or knock the wind out of them," the boy wonder proposed, probably for the tenth time that night. He eyed the other members of their team, each being held apart from each other by their leader's watery powers. Kid Flash, Superboy, Miss Martian and Artemis were struggling to reach each other with almost animal like intensity.
"We do not know what that haze was," Kaldur reminded him urgently. "It could accidentally make their condition worse."
"Conner," M'gann pleaded, her arms growing out of her bindings as she reached to her boyfriend.
"M'gann." The misty puppy-eyes of the clone begged them to let him come to her.
"Artemis," Wally pleaded, clearly not in control of his mouth.
"Wally…" Artemis whispered, her whole body swooning towards the speedster.
Robin had to suppress a snicker. "Ah, I think knocking them out wouldn't make it worse Kal. Only save them from further humiliation. Besides, we got hit too. We're not acting crazy."
"I believe it is because we ran out of females," Kaldur stated quickly, still trying to keep the four apart. It was difficult enough stopping the couples, however originally reluctant they were, to separate the first time around. Artemis was especially passionate when she was kissing Wally.
"Whatever you say Kal. Red Tornado, we're back. Emergency isolation protocol two zero niner. Set for four. Assistance will be required. Open bay doors for entry."
"Affirmative," the android stated on the other end of the com. "Please designate reason for isolation."
"Bizarre reactions to unknown substance. Possibly magically induced. All of us were exposed but Kaldur and I don't seem to have any reactions. Best to keep us apart from any other girls for a while though. We don't know how we'll react, given everyone else's current states." It was hard for Robin not to laugh again as he glanced at his friends. All the love birds were still reaching and mooning over each other. If Kaldur didn't keep them apart, he was sure they'd have gotten to R rated material by then. Oh if only he could get all this on camera to blackmail his friends later.
"Understood. Green Arrow and Batman will join you shortly."
"Couldn't we get someone with super strength while we're at it?" a touch of desperation in his voice. "Kal's having a hard time keeping them separated."
"Green Lantern is on root. Hold status after docking."
"Understood." Robin worked on the ships systems, concentrating hard to make certain he docked the ship safely. As soon as they were in the hangar, he opened the door and grabbed a still restrained Artemis to ease up Kaldur's load. He spotted Green Arrow just as the man entered the hangar and grinned. "Hey Ollie! One love sick teenage girl with huge-old issues right here for you!"
The archer jerked back a little in shock as he took the girl. "Uh… Thank Robin. Tornado said there was an isolation situation?"
"Yeah," the boy wonder started, his back to the cave entrance to watch the ship. Kaldur was dragging the other three out with his constructs, ignoring best he could every one of their longing protests to their potential love interest. "We all got zapped by some weird haze thing and those four started making out. Not exactly with each other but with… oh you'll see. M'gann's was wrapping her arms around Conner and Wally nearly got Artemis' shirt off."
"What?" GA's eyes widened dangerously, his often neglected fatherly instincts to protect Artemis kicking in full force.
"And let's just say it's a good thing KF's costume is a one piece. With the way she was feeling him up—"
"And just what are you describing young man?"
Both Robin and Green Arrow felt the fury and disapproval in Batman's voice behind them. The man glared at their backs, fully in protective DaddyBats mode at the mere mention of the subjects they were discussing. He worked the better part of five years keeping this boy away from this subject, even giving up on a portion of his relationships at home to keep his boy safe from it. There were rumors in the media that he became a celibate for his son's sake.
"Aaaaahhh….." Robin stayed where he was for a moment before slowly turning to his mentor in dread. "I was just describing what they were doing after they saw—BATMAN!"
Suddenly the boy's face grew into a large loving smile as he leapt up and tackled his mentor into a tight hug. Normally the man could brace himself for impact, but this time there were no warnings or reason for this affectionate assault. Batman fell backwards to the floor as he caught his boy wonder, unable to hide the shock on his face in the slightest.
"I love you!" Robin cheered as he nuzzled his head against the dark knight's chest. "I love you more than the sun and the moon and the stars and the sky and the sea and the circus and the world and the universe and life as we know it! I love you more than ice cream and chocolate syrup and waffles and scones and lemon bars and donuts and mountain dew and cake and cotton candy and skittles and reeces pieces and cocopuffs and cookies! I love you more than movies and tv and video games and comics and books and plays and music and puzzles and word play! I love you more than—"
"WHAT HAPPENED?" Batman shouted to Kaldur over the constant rambling of his charge. Both Green Arrow and Aqualad gaped at the sight, unable to understand how this kid had gone from completely normal to glomping his mentor and rambling like a four year old on how much he loved him.
"We were… um…" Kaldur's constructs were weakening due to his shock and his captives were noticing. Quickly KF started to vibrate himself out of his watery bindings while M'gann was mentally forcing them further apart so she and Superboy could slip out.
"—More than M'gann or Artemis or Kaldur or Ollie or Diana or J'onn or Hal or Barry or Dinah or Roy or Wally or Barbara or Zatanna or Alfred or Superman!"
At that last statement Batman jerked his gaze around to Robin's face and blinked. "Really."
"Uh huh!" His wide eyed grin never left his face as he looked the man straight into the eye.
"Going to get rid of those pajamas now?" There was a hint of satisfaction in his voice, obviously part of some inside joke or private discussion.
There came a playful grin on the kid's face. "Maybe."
GA held back a laugh, knowing full well that if he did there'd be hell to pay later. Being caught in any kind of cute family moment was one thing Batman avoided at all cost. Robin didn't care when he was first starting, but now that he was a teenager, he usually wouldn't be caught dead in front of his friends like this. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and he only wished he had a camera for it.
Couldn't help but to comment though. "Awe… it's a Bat-family reunion. Hey!"
Artemis' timely escape from her bonds and mad dash towards Wally saved her from the Bat's fierce glares. At the same moment she bolted, Kaldur's constructs broke apart and three soaked teenagers scrambled towards each other in blind passion. Their exhausted leader gaped at them in desperation. "NO!"
"Hold it there kiddos!"
In seconds all four teens were covered in a green light, separated from each other once again. Each pounded against the emerald willed constructs, desperately staring at each other in longing. Hal Jordon, Earth's first Green Lantern, floated down to the bay floor, grinning at the sight.
"Wow, did I just step into an episode of the Young and the Restless or what? Need any help there Bats?"
"—Star Wars and Muppets and Robin Hood and Lion King and Aladdin and Sherlock Holmes and Harry Potter and Narnia and RED and—" Robin kept rambling on and on about how much he loved Batman more than anything he could think of. Subject this round was movies.
Batman gave the space cop an annoyed glare, one hand around Robin's back as the other helped push himself off the ground. "What I need is to know what happened to them and how to fix it. Aqualad, report."
"—And rocks and sticks and trees and flowers and dirt and lakes and ponds and rain and sunshine and—"
"Um…" Kaldur couldn't take his fretting gaze off of Robin and his constant chatter. It was quite distracting to say the least. GA and GL were having trouble not laughing at the adorableness of all this.
Batman quickly caught on to their gazes, concerns and amusements, and gave a heavy sigh before looking to his boy wonder still clinging and rambling to him. "Robin, I need to hear this."
"Yep! You need to know how much I—"
"No, you need to be quiet. We can't talk with your incessant chatter." The two greens jolted a little at the jibe but the kid took it in stride.
"Awww… but I wanted to tell you how much I love—"
"I know," a hint of exasperation in the Bat's voice, "but there's something wrong here and I need to know what. You're drowning Kaldur out."
Robin gave a pouting glare, jerking his head around to Kaldur. The Atlantian had never seen such a look on the boy's face before. "I don't care! You're my Batman! I love you more than anyone! And no Kaldur is going to stop me!"
If they couldn't detect the possessive jealously in the kid's voice before then, they definitely heard it now. Batman even gave a startled look at his partner's response. He was always considerate of other people's feelings.
"What's so great about Kaldur anyway? He didn't even want to be leader. He's got way less experience than I do. He can't even hack the motion sensors. His weakness is drying out for pete's sake. His girlfriend dumped him for his best friend. Some best friend. He—" A black gloved hand covered the boy's mouth before he could carve out the young man's heart even more.
"That's enough Robin," Batman commanded, glaring disappointment at his charge. The kid's masked face turned back to him and instantly lost its glare. He could feel a smile coming back to him under his glove. Robin's arms seemed to tighten around Batman's neck as he went back to nuzzling against the man's cape.
Their adult audience was starting to whisper and snicker at the two's exchange. They both met the kid when he was ten, and he wasn't quite this affectionate back then. At least not as Robin and certainly not in public.
"I love you. You're better than anyone! Better than—"
"Robin, you really need to be quiet. Now."
The boy wonder gave his cute pout again. "Not until you say you love me."
Kaldur's jaw dropped in shock while Green Arrow and Lantern's were wide open in anticipating grins. Batman just shut his mouth tightly for a moment. Just as the boy was taking in a breath to start another rant, the dark knight spoke again in a very low tone. "Now is not the time."
"Now's never the time!" Robin whined loudly. A pouting lower lip came with his begging eyes. "You never say it! I wanna hear you say it! Please please please please pleeeeeeeeaaaaase tell me you love me!"
"Robin…" Both the green clad men in the room had to hold their mouth's shut. They'd never seen the man so… conflicted? Embarrassed? Shocked beyond words? Certainly not unable to scowl or snap at people.
"It's just an 'I love you'," Hal started teasing. "How hard can that be?"
"Really B? You've never told him that?" Oliver joined in, shaking his head. "And Canary tells me off about Roy."
"Please please please tell me! Please please please please pleeeeeease!"
"Ohopp!" GA started again, grinning. "Better say it soon. He's getting a lot of 'e's in there."
"Maybe he should add some sugar," GL chirped.
"Or a cherry."
"Pleeeeeeease! Please please please please please!"
"Or whipped cream."
The two greens stopped and grinned at the red faced Batman, glaring and clenching his teeth at them. Kaldur was still in shock at the debate between them all, uncertain of what side he should take or what should be happening. The bat's crimson glare still hadn't silenced the bird in his arms.
"You two. Get those infected with whatever is causing this into isolation. Kaldur, wait for a debriefing inside. NOW!"
"Somebody's embarrassed," Hal dared to comment, smile never leaving his face as a green glow returned to his form.
"Oh yeah." GA kept grinning as he walked with his friend and the four teens in tow back through the mountain entryway from the hangar inside. Kaldur practically sprinted back inside to avoid anymore of this confusing and intimidating scene.
"Wonder how he'll be when a woman actually enters his life and—"
Hal's last comment was cut short as a batarange barely flew past his ear. The two adults stared at the projectile, now embedded into the cave wall before them before slowly looking back to the fearsome creature of the night. His back was still turned from the door, but his free arm was coming back towards the child he was forced to hold onto. The men exchanged glances before silently agreeing to not talk in front of the Bat about this ever again. Everyone else though was going to know.
Finally alone, the dark knight gave a heavy sigh before looking down to his still pleading child. Robin's masked eyes never left his face, continually begging to be told one phrase over and over again. For a moment, Batman contemplated using a gag to silence his partner, but felt that was over kill. It wasn't that bad of a request, and he really hadn't said it very often, not verbally at least. Still, whatever was making Robin act like an excessively needy child was unknown, and who knew if it'd force another round of embarrassment on the two of them.
Praying silently he wouldn't make his any worse, Batman reached into his belt and took out a capsule. He gave another heavy sigh before finally admitting defeat to his bird. "Alright. Just give me a second word wise."
Robin grinned broadly as Batman leaned his head closer to the boy's. In a barely audible, soothing whisper, he spoke. "I do love you Dick. More than anything in this world."
"Really?" the boy asked excitedly.
"Yes." The dark knight raised the capsule to the boy's face, keeping his voice as calming as possible. "But I need you to sleep now. Can you do that for me?"
"Uh huh." Robin didn't struggle or fight as Batman snapped open the capsule under the kid's nose. Out poured a knockout gas, seeping into the boy wonder's breathing and quietly lulling him to sleep. Batman held his breath as the kid nuzzled back into the cape, his death grip keeping the man captive still, and started drifting of. Just as his eyes closed, he whispered, "I love you too Bruce."
A small smile graced the man's face as he looked down on the boy he could still carry in his arms. It was getting harder and harder these days since he was growing a good deal. Yet it seemed he was still given plenty of opportunities to do just this of late. He stood still a second longer before stepping away from the gas and taking a fresh breath. Now that the boy was quiet, he could get to the bottom of this.
Kaldur was pacing nervously when the Bat arrived, still carrying Robin. He jolted at the sight of the youngest teammate still holding onto his mentor as if he were a monkey. Furthermore, he was soundly asleep. "Is Robin—"
"A mild sedative," Batman assured him as he readjusted his grip on the boy. "Now, report."
The Atlantian took a deep breath before explaining what he could. The mission itself seemed to be going well until near the end of it when they ran into some unknown person. Due to the night's long shadows and the howling winds, they neither saw nor heard this person as it threw a strange hazy substance at them. All six team members were covered by it for a moment, gagging and rubbing their heads in confusion. Once they could see each other, trouble broke out. M'gann and Conner were holding each other tightly as they kissed while Artemis all but threw herself at Wally. They were rolling around in the grass and running their hands down each other's clothing before Robin managed to pull the two apart. Kaldur managed to pry the alien couple away from each other, then used his water constructs to keep them and the other two separated. Since Robin already knew how to fly the Bio-ship, he was in control of getting them home while their leader stopped them from doing anything foolish.
"We assumed we were not affected," Kaldur continued, his eyes fixing themselves on the boy wonder. "That is until now. Apparently what ever had done this to the others is not restricted to potentially romantic relationships. Robin only reacted—"
"When he saw me," Batman concluded. He eyed his charge for a moment before looking back to Kaldur. "The two of you were not yet displaying signs of this thing working until another stimuli was placed before you."
"Who knows what could trigger it for me," he admitted. Maybe it was a good thing he and Tula had broken up after all.
The man nodded before bringing up a communication screen. "Zatara, come to the cave immediately. And leave your daughter home. Our situation could be aggravated by her presence."
"Is that a fact?" Zatara raised an eyebrow on the other end, having seen Robin sleeping on Batman's chest.
"I'll explain when you get here." He cut off the magician to prevent any further questions. He did not want this getting out. The dark knight turned back to Kaldur. "I'll be in the common area. Brief Zatara and bring him straight over when he arrives."
"Understood," the Atlantian nodded, then tilted his head in curiosity. "But why are you—"
Batman pointed to Robin. "He's not that light"
Now ignoring the lad's questioning gaze, Batman retreated to the couch, allowing his body to rest a bit and get comfortable. It'd be a few more minutes before the League's magic user could make heads or tails of this problem and he was not going to stand around carrying a thirteen year old with a monkey-hug death grip waiting for him.
Once Zatara arrived, Batman reopened his eyes. A quick bat-nap never hurt when he had no choice but to wait for someone, and Robin's added weight could be interpreted as a heavy comforter if he imagined it. He only turned his head towards the common room's doorway when Kaldur and Zatara arrived. He saw the faint twinge of a smile on the man's face but let it go. Being the only literal father in the League, he was allowed to see moments like this between Robin and himself. It was a courtesy between the two of them. After all, he caught Zatara bringing a sleeping Zatanna to meetings on occasion. It was only fair the two acting dads were able to reminisce about their children's antics.
"Well?" Batman started, not getting up from his seat. "Any idea what's going on?"
"A fair one," Zatara replied, walking in front of the couches with Kaldur in tow. "It was magic."
"Figured as much," the dark knight replied. "What kind?"
"A loving spell." This made the man blink. What? "Its cheep and obviously done by an amateur, but quite effective. It's supposed to make two people who have a strong attraction to each other smother themselves to death. It's meant for lovers, forcing them into action, usually for days on end, until they exhaust themselves and die from lack of the necessities for life."
"And this reaction?" He let go of Robin briefly to emphasize the real source of his distress.
"The spell is meant for lovers," Zatara repeated, "not children. It's triggered by sight. As soon as they see the one they love most, it reacts. When a child, or one who has no romantic attentions for anyone, is affected and sees a parent, they become like this. Children tend to escape the worst of the spell easily enough."
"How?" Batman demanded. He was beginning to lose feeling in certain parts of his body.
Their magician gave a heavy sigh before continuing. "By being children. So long as the spell isn't activated, it's easy to remove. I already took care of that with Kaldur."
He waved a hand to the young man nearby, who nodded appreciatively. "Once active though, there is only one way to remove it. And you're already half way there."
The dark knight blinked in confusion. "Half way?"
"First the person in question must fall asleep," Zatara instructed, raising a finger. He then pointed to Robin. "As he is. So long as they all fall asleep somehow, the spell can be broken.
"Second," a flash of a smile appeared on his face again, "a person who cares very much for them, must kiss them."
At this, the color in Batman's face flew out the window. "What?"
"A light kiss of true affection, not lust, is the final piece to end this. It does not matter where they're kissed," Zatara emphasized, "so long as they can feel it."
"Whoa! Batsy has to kiss his little boy eh?"
The two fathers and young leader jerked their heads around to see Green Arrow and Lantern in the doorway, both grinning. Batman gave them both menacing glares before responding. No one could miss his growling voice.
"Get to work knocking the other four out," he ordered. "Then call Flash, J'onn, and Canary. Green Arrow, get ready to take Artemis to her mother. Kaldur, get started writing the mission report for tonight."
"Awww…" GL whined. "But we wanted to watch!"
The glare on the man's face reminded the two he had thrown a batarange within inches o their heads without looking at them just half an hour ago. Quickly they threw up their hands as Kaldur near sprinted out the door to fulfill his orders. As the two greens left, Batman faced the magician again, a slight plea in his voice.
"Is there another—"
"No," Zatara stated flatly. "There is no other method. Is it truly so hard to give affection old friend?"
"I was raised by a British gentleman," the man explained as he looked back down to his boy. "They aren't known for being affectionate."
The older man gave a knowing smirk before turning away to start heading home. He left his daughter in her bed, alone. Not the wisest tactic in the world. He lingered in the doorway long enough to see the dark knight's head rest on top of his squire's. He noted the boy's gripped loosened but didn't leave the cape. Instead the boy's mentor slipped out of the kid's grasp, then gently laid him out on the couch before wrapping his cape around Robin.
Zatara smirked knowingly to himself as he left the two alone to head home. He was one of the few who knew the nature of their relationship and appreciated it more because he too experienced a like one with his child. It was just amusing how much the dark knight tried to hide it from the world.
It would also be amusing to see the children's reactions the next few days to the night's events. The spell did not affect their memory of events after all.
A/N: Scenes I wanted to see! 1- Robin tackle/glomping Batman. 2- Batman being forced to say 'I love you'. 3- Batman having no choice but to kiss his Robin's head 4- one very embarrassed Bat. Everything else made it entertaining.
I loved how both Hal and Ollie started teasing Batman. it was so much fun seeing them get cut off by the big scary bat's weapons too. I know Ollie's also kinda a dad, but Roy was like 15 when they partnered up so I think he's more like an uncle than a dad in some ways. I could so see these two ganging up on him, seeing as they can be fearless on old Brucie anyway.
And then there's Robin's childish jealousy of Kaldur. Who didn't love the batfam scenes in downtime? they seriously need more screen time. This kinda vocalized Rob's jealously for a moment. =P so much fun! ^^V