Character Mentions (In order of appearance in Sam's thoughts) : Santana, Quinn, Sam's parents, Finn, Blaine, Kurt, Rachel, and lastly, Mercedes.
Light Spoilers for: 2x12, 2x13, 2x14, 2x19, 3x8 and 3x13.
Note: Takes place directly after Mercedes sings "I Will Always Love You" and Sam walks out. Ultimately Mercedes/Sam, but there are hints of Sam/Quinn, Sam/Santana, Blaine/Kurt and Finn/Rachel.
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Sam Evans acknowledges that he's probably too nice to people. Santana could never fathom it and to a certain extent neither could Quinn. But it always made perfect sense to Sam, if someone being mean to you made you feel so terrible and hurt, why would you go and inflict that upon someone else?
Not to say he doesn't get angry or do things out of spite, because he does. But he always regrets it. Always feels guilty. The way he broke up with Quinn still haunts him, although she's since acknowledged that she deserved it. Still, it wasn't his finest moment and it definitely wasn't his most mature one.
He recognizes that he shouldn't feel bad about that, that he should feel some sort of resentment or hate towards some of the people in his life but he just isn't that type of person. And, he doesn't think that that makes him weak either, he thinks it makes him stronger, a better person.
Like not being bitter towards his parents but instead, realizing that they made him all that he is, they made him a man, showed him the world.
And Quinn, yes he should hate her for cheating and Finn for cheating along with her and heck, even Santana for bringing it about but he doesn't hate any of them. He loves Quinn's smile, her raw strength and energy, how much of a good person she is when she just lets herself relax and feel it.
Finn, well, alright, maybe Sam's always been a tad competitive with Finn and yeah, maybe Finn isn't the brightest but he does try his hardest to do what's right, to stay true to himself and others. Sam has to admire him for that at the very least.
As for Santana, well, he should probably hate her. She says awful, cruel things for her own sense of worth. But, that's why he loves her too. She's just so lost, hurt and misguided. Angry because she doesn't know what to do. She acts the way she acts because that's all she knows. He can't blame her for that. And she isn't always such a bitch. Or, maybe she is, but Sam can't hate her either way. He loves her for who she is, even if that isn't the best person.
Then there was this Blaine kid. Kurt had been dating him last year if memory served. And, Sam did vaguely remember Rachel's party in which he vaguely remembered Blaine being in attendance. And, he's also fairly certain that Blaine used to be a Warbler. However, the Blaine Sam gets reacquainted with is a rather angry one. Sam can tell straight off the bat that Finn doesn't like him, which is strange as Kurt was Finn's brother and Kurt's judgement was usually solid when it came to these type of things. But when Blaine makes that comment - and who told him anyway? Oh, wait. Rachel to….. Kurt, Kurt to Blaine, easy enough - Sam forgets everything. It's one of the rare times where he completely loses his cool. But somewhere in his angry state of mind, he could tell that Blaine lost his cool too. So, afterwords, when Blaine sheepishly apologizes, Sam has no reason not to forgive him. After all, everyone can lose control of their temper.
But then Mercedes. God, Mercedes, with her spirit, her warmth. Sam loved everything about her. He couldn't bring himself to stop loving her. Not even when she was obviously into someone else. And Sam didn't want to be a cheater. And he sincerely, honest to god, hadn't meant to be one. Or to be so insensitive towards Mercedes but god, he loved her. And, yeah, maybe he regretted walking out of that room after her performance, but it was either that or kiss till the seasons changed which she obviously didn't want. And it hurt, loving her so much, knowing that she felt the same and for what? Both of them to waste their lives away, being miserable apart instead of happy together?
Sam shook his head, wiping away the tears. If he was anybody else he would resent her for making him feel this way. But if he just wasn't capable of it. And, after all, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Mercedes of all people would understand that.