Um. So, hi. Again.
I know what you're thinking. Another High School AU from this girl? What the hell is going on here? But, whereas my other High School AU is 'serious', this one will be much more… crack-y as Supernatural meets Mean Girls.
Yeah. I blame it on my friends and my sudden obsession with the film colliding with my Supernatural obsession. They just mated to create this weird hybrid thing.
Hope you like!
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or Mean Girls.
"Here's your lunch," Lucifer said, presenting his younger brother, Castiel, with a brown paper bag.
"Do you remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you, just in case," his eldest brother, Michael, added as he handed Castiel a slip of paper with a series of digits scribbled on it.
"Thanks," Castiel said, the corners of his mouth tilted upwards into a small smile, "I think I'm ready."
The words of his brothers, spoken mere moments ago in the grounds of Kripke High School, rang in Castiel's ears. It was natural for them to get like this. It was their younger sibling's first day of school, after all. Of course, normally such a ceremony would take place when he was around four or five, not when he was sixteen. But, up until now, Castiel had never even set foot into a public high school. Or any school at all, for that matter. As an angel of the Lord, he'd spent the preceding years of his life up in Heaven, being homeschooled. He'd been happy. He'd been at peace. That is, until his Father decided to send him down to earth for some firsthand experience with the world.
Which is why he found himself edging his way along through the tight throng of people that packed the corridors of Kripke High School, shrinking away as he bumped into random people and responding to their angry glares with mumbled apologies. As he searched desperately for his homeroom, his nose remained buried in his timetable and he kept referring to the extensive map he'd received when he'd first been accepted into the school.
"Um, excuse me…?" he tried to get the attention of a passing dark-haired boy.
The boy responded to the beginning of his polite request with such a disgruntled look that the blue-eyed angel was silenced immediately. If that was the expected response, he resolved to continue on without making any other attempts at getting assistance. By the time he found the right classroom, however, only a handful of seats were left. He made for one near the front, but a redheaded girl and a short boy behind her shook their heads in unison. He tried for another, but the duo reacted the same way. He paced the length and breadth of the classroom, growing frustrated, as all the remaining seats started filling up.
"My apologies," Castiel said, looking scandalized as he bumped into a gruff-looking man in a baseball cap, making him spill his coffee all down his front.
"Dammit," the man, whom Castiel assumed was his homeroom teacher, Mr. Singer, cursed, rubbing at the coffee stain marring his shirt; he huffed out a weary sigh and gazed at Castiel from under the peak of his cap, "You must be the new kid. Just get yourself a seat, idjit," he growled, brushing off the angel's attempts to help.
Castiel took himself awkwardly to the seat he'd gone to first, near the redheaded girl and the short boy, even if taking that seat meant sitting behind an overweight cupid with a flatulence problem. He kept his eyes fixed straight ahead of him, at the cupid's bulky mass, although he could still feel the gazes of the redheaded girl and the short boy boring into him, hear whispered snippets of their conversation.
"Your eyes are really blue," the short boy said eventually, with something of a wistful sigh, "See, Anna? That's the kinda eyes I wish I had."
At that, the redhead rolled her own eyes, "I'm Anna. And that's Gabriel," she said, jerking a thumb over her shoulder at the boy, "He's almost too gay to function," she added and the boy - Gabriel - shrugged his shoulders, grinning.
"My name is Castiel," the angel replied, in his low voice. He glanced down at his timetable and cleared his throat once before asking, "I don't suppose either of you know where Room 14G is? I have health class there first period."
Anna raised her eyebrows, "Oh, yeah," she said, drawing the word out, "That's in the back building," she spared her male companion a conspiratorial look.
"Oh, yeah. The back building," Gabriel agreed, with a smirk.
"We'll take you there," Anna assured, smiling.
After being led through the corridors by Anna and Gabriel, with the latter yelling out 'Fresh meat! Fresh meat coming through!' to clear a path for them, Castiel found himself facing an expanse of playing field, but no back building. Anna and Gabriel carried on though, unperturbed by this, as they settled themselves down onto a spot on the grass which was aptly shaded from the sun's glare by a well-placed tree.
"Where's the back building?" Castiel asked, still standing, one hand twisting his schoolbag strap uncertainly.
"Burnt down years ago," Anna said, with a shrug, as she rifled through her bookbag and withdrew a sketchpad and a pencil.
"Won't we get in trouble for this?" Castiel asked, glancing back at the school nervously.
Gabriel gave a snort around a mouthful of candy bar, but again it was Anna who answered him, "Why would we get you into trouble?" she asked, looking genuinely confused, "We're your friends, Cas."
Castiel cast another look back at the school, still indecisive. It was wrong to skip class, he knew that. But Anna said they were friends and Castiel knew that if he were to survive the next few years at this place, friends would benefit him more than first period health class. And so, with that in mind, he removed his schoolbag and sat down on the grass, resigning himself to the fact that he would never know what his peers had learnt that day in first period health class.
Addressing a frightened gym full of students, Mr. Uriel stood in front of a blackboard, the word 'SEX' scrawled across it in stark, white letters.
"Don't have sex," he yelled, pointing a collective finger to his audience of sixteen-year-olds, "Because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary possession. Don't have sex standing up. Just don't do it, promise?"
He held up a plastic box full of condoms, "All right, everybody take some rubbers!"
"Why didn't they just keep on homeschooling you?" Anna asked Castiel, glancing up at him from the sketchpad she had balanced on her lap after he had explained his predicament to them.
"My Father wanted me to get socialized," Castiel replied, with a slight roll of his eyes.
"Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you," Gabriel chipped in, with a waggle of his eyebrows, the corner of his mouth curved up in a smirk.
"What are you talking about?" Castiel said, a confused crinkle appearing in his brow.
Anna gave a small sigh as she met his eyes, "You're a regulation hottie."
"What?" he cried. 'Hottie' was hardly a word he'd ever thought to describe himself with.
"Own it," Gabriel advised, patting Castiel's thigh, before starting into his second candy bar of the morning.
"How'd you spell your name again, Cas?" Anna asked, pencil poised over the sketchpad.
"It's Castiel. C-A-S-T-I-E-L."
"Yeah, I'm just gonna call you Cas."
Gabriel glanced over at the playing field and let out a low whistle, "Oh, in the name of all that is holy, would you look at Jo Harvelle's gym clothes!"
Anna rolled her eyes, "Of course all the Hunters are in the same gym class."
Castiel's eyes flickered between Anna and Gabriel, noting their twin looks of disdain, "Who're the Hunters?"
"They're teen royalty," Gabriel explained and Castiel followed his gaze to the playing field, "If Kripke High was Teen Weekly, they'd always be on the cover."
"That one there is Jo Harvelle," Anna explained, pointing to a girl with long, blonde hair and tight-fitting clothes, who'd just failed miserably at catching a ball, "She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Gabriel sat next to her in English last year."
Gabriel leaned in, eyebrows raised, "She asked me how to spell 'orange'."
The redhead ignored the interjection and continued with her commentary, "And see that big one? That's Sam Winchester," she said, pointing to a tall-framed boy, with long dark hair, who was just after making an expert pass.
"He's, like, totally rich or something because his parents are the biggest and best hunters in town," Gabriel said, with a dismissive wave of his hand.
"Sam Winchester knows everyone's business," Anna said, with a grim nod, "He knows everything about everyone."
Gabriel bobbed his head, knowingly, "That's why his hair's so big. It's full of secrets."
Anna clucked her tongue in irritation as all three gazes fell on the boy being hoisted in the air by his fellow classmates, "And evil takes a human form in his brother, Dean Winchester. Don't be fooled, because he may seem like your typical back-stabbing, selfish dick but he's so much more than that."
"He's, like, the King Hunter. Those other two? They're just his little workers," Gabriel said, shaking his head slightly.
Anna tapped her pencil against her pad, her expression caught between thoughtful and contemptuous, "Dean Winchester. How do I even begin to explain Dean Winchester?"
"Dean Winchester is flawless," said Bela Talbot.
"I hear he has an amulet and a '67 Chevy Impala," said Sarah Blake.
"I hear his hair's insured for $10,000," said Becky Rosen.
"I hear he hunts ghouls. In Minnesota," said Adam Milligan.
"His favourite song is a tie between Led Zepplin's 'Ramble On' and 'Travelling Riverside Blues'," said Chuck Shurley.
"I hear, one time he met the archangel, Michael, on a plane. And he told him he was his one true vessel," said Zachariah.
"One time, he punched me in the face," said Ruby, "It was awesome."
"He's brilliant, but evil," Gabriel summed up aptly and Anna nodded in agreement.
Castiel pursed his lips as he mulled all this over. Apparently this Dean Winchester was someone to be wary of.
And yet, somehow, the angel of the Lord couldn't keep his eyes off of him.
Later that day, Castiel paid for his lunch and, tray in hand, he set out to find Anna and Gabriel, using the map the former had drawn for him earlier as his guide. He spotted the two of them, sitting at the far side of the cafeteria with a group of other angels, waving him over enthusiastically. Just as he was making his way to join them, however, a blond-haired boy with a British accent appeared, armed with a notebook and pencil.
"Hi, we're doing a lunchtime survey of all new students. Could you answer us a few questions?" he asked, pencil poised over the pad of paper, ready to write; Castiel looked mildly perplexed by this, but nodded nonetheless, "Is your muffin buttered?"
The blond-haired boy smirked, "Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?"
"I don't understand that reference," Castiel replied, glancing around at the snickering onlookers, the confused crease in his brow deepening.
"Is this dick bothering you?" A voice asked from Castiel's left; the angel looked down to meet the questioning, green-eyed gaze of Dean Winchester, who was sitting at his lunch table, flanked by his fellow hunters, "Balthazar, why are you such a skeeze?"
"I'm only being friendly!" Balthazar countered, spreading out his arms and adopting a wounded expression at such an insinuation.
From beside Dean, Sam huffed out an annoyed sigh and glared up at Balthazar, "You were supposed to call me last night!"
"Balthazar, you do not come to a party at my house with Sam and then scam on some poor, innocent angel right in front of us three days later. He's not interested. Do you wanna have sex with him?" Dean's green eyes flickered to Castiel for clarification.
"No… thank you," the angel replied, in his low, gravelly voice, clearly aghast. Balthazar's grin faded.
"Good, so it's settled. You can go shave your back now. Bye, Balthazar," Dean said, with a small, mocking wave.
"Dick," Balthazar murmured under his breath, as he walked away.
Castiel took a step forward, more intent than ever to reach Gabriel and Anna. They were both wearing twin expressions of confusion, urging him over more vigorously than before. The sooner he was away from the hunters and in the comforting presence of the other angels, the better.
"Wait, sit down," Dean's voice called him back, "Seriously, dude, sit down. Why don't I know you?" he asked, as the angel reluctantly slid into a chair.
"I'm new. I was just sent down from Heaven," Castiel replied, feeling very awkward under the intense scrutiny of the three hunters sitting opposite him.
"What?" Dean demanded.
"I used to be homeschooled. In Heaven."
"Wait, what?" Dean said again.
Castiel cleared his throat, "My Father and brothers taught me in Heaven."
"No, no, I know what homeschooled is, I'm not retarded," Dean said, gazing at Castiel like he was the eighth wonder of the world, "So you've never actually been to Earth before?"
Castiel shook his head.
Dean's eyebrows rose, "Shut up. Shut up!"
"I didn't say anything."
Dean leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest, "Whoa, a homeschooled angel on Earth for the first time. That's really interesting."
"But you're, like, really pretty."
Castiel smiled slightly, colour flooding his cheeks, "Thank you."
"So you agree? You think you're really pretty?"
Castiel was caught off-guard, "Oh- I- I don't-"
"Oh, my God. That is such an awesome trenchcoat," Dean said, changing the subject as he ran an admiring hand along the sleeve of Castiel's tan trenchcoat, "Where'd you get it?"
"It belonged to this vessel…" Castiel replied, patting his body emphatically.
"It's adorable," Dean grinned.
"So fetch," Sam agreed, nodding.
Dean glanced at his brother, a look of embarrassment passing across his features, "What is fetch?" he demanded, spitting the word out like it was something distasteful.
"Oh, it's like slang. From England."
"So, if you're an angel," Jo finally spoke up, after staring at Castiel in confusion for quite some time now, "why don't you have wings?"
Sam looked scandalized, "Oh, my God, Jo! You can't just ask people why they don't have wings!"
Dean rolled his eyes at his two companions and leaned in slightly towards Castiel, "Can you give us a little privacy for like one second?"
"Um, sure," Castiel replied, as Dean, Sam and Jo whispered between one and other. His blue eyes sought out Anna and Gabriel, who were gesturing to him wildly, their expressions demanding answers. The angel could do little more than shrug his shoulders, just as perplexed by the whole situation as they were.
"OK, you should know that we don't do this a lot, so this is, like, a really huge deal," Dean began seriously, eyeing Castiel intently.
Sam picked up easily from where his brother left off, "We want to invite you to have lunch with us for the rest of the week."
Castiel tried to protest, but was cut off by Dean announcing, "Awesome!" in a tone that suggested there was no room for debate, "We'll see you tomorrow."
Jo grinned, "On Wednesdays, we wear pink!"
Reviews are loved. Especially as this is such a weird concept, lol! :3