Just a small one-shot I needed to get out of my head before I can concentrate on updating "These Four Walls"
This one-shot takes place after the episode 3.15 All My Children. I know it turned out veryangsty, but I've had a rough couple of weeks and needed to release some emotion, so this is the result of that. The song used in the story is " Devotion" by Hurts. I realized after the story was finished how much it fitted the text a chose to add it.
Please know that reviews are more important to me now than ever since I have increasingly less time to write and needs your inspirational words to keep going:)
Thank you for your attention and please read, enjoy and review:)
Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Diaries , any of the characters in this story or "Devotion" by Hurts.
"Forgive my thoughts when I'm asleep
Forgive this words I'm yet to speak
I feel so ashamed
But now you seem so far away
So much confusion clouds my way
And I don't know which path to take"
She would always wonder why her tired mind aroused to the sound of the peaceful night. Reason upon reason had spilt through her mind since then; a lonesome owl's howl for attention while soaring the night sky, the whispered sounds of a house settling in the late hours of dark, a pleading call telepathically sent from a tormented soul to its potential saviour. She awoke to silence, her eyes blinded by the night and her slender limbs still entangled with sleep. Her body begged for reunification with the world of dreams, but her mind was reluctant, feeling the presence of something too important to ignore, something too persistent in its silence to let go without thought.
Eyes, still weighed down by the spell of sleep, opened slowly with the force of the nagging feeling of unsettlement in the room. There was no startled movements, no scream of fear, not even a flickering sting of surprise when chocolate brown met stormy blue. She already knew. His presence had a unique weight on its own, thoroughly known to the tendrils of her sixth sense surrounding her own soul.
Their eyes locked, words of deepest truth and meaning vibrating the line momentarily constructed between their open souls. Her disappointment, her heartache, her exhaustion and fear flooded their connection, sipped into his core and brought sadness and concern to his eyes. Her anger was prominent too; the feeling of being overlooked, her grief for her stolen independence. His dark head bent with the force of her silent scolding, understanding her reason for frustration but rejecting the demand for regret and shame for dubious actions performed in the quest of preserving the precious gift of her life and humanity.
His avoidance of her eyes gave her the freedom needed to take in the features of her nightly intruder; midnight hair tousled and clouding his eyes, jaw tight with strain and mouth firmly closed in turbulent thought. Knees were sealed to the ground by her bed, his black-clad torso hovering half a foot from her bedside, so close, but still further away than ever before. The sweet scent of expensive liqueur was caressing the air, filling her sensitive nose with its presence and whispering in her mind of the turbulent state of the man at her side.
Her suspicions were confirmed when the person of her attention slowly raised his head, using their line of communication for his own purposes, showing her his aching and tormented soul, a plead for understanding and forgiveness burning in the dark pith of his expanded pupils.
Slowly and tentatively she extended her hand, placing it flat on his cool chest, waiting the conformation from her tired mind to bring closer or push away. His eyes flared with uncertainty, his already tense form reacting with the same emotion, muscles retracting with the fear of rejection and the possibility for a last stroke to an already shattered heart. Pain he so desperately searches to avoid, but knows with his entire black, soulless being that he deserves.
She knows she has forgiven actions that probably should be considered unforgivable in the past, she knows she has provided comfort and caring to have it repaid with acts of thoughtlessness and despair, she knows she is flirting with fire and dining with death by simply allow his presence in her world. Her hand goes a little limper on his chest , sliding down with the uncertain goal of removing him from her life with the simple retraction of her subtle warmth. Their gazes meet, his eyes dark and pleading with the knowledge of the current moment's importance.
Her hand stops for a moment, her fingertips still barely connected with the soft fabric of his shirt. Without her conscious consent her mind is throwing her pictures of acts of bravery and selflessness, flooding her memory with looks of awe and affection and drowning her wavering resolve with words received in the form of love and devotion.
It is said than when your mind is overpowered to the brink of temporarily loss of conscious thought, the instincts perfected thru decades of humanly survival steps in and guides your senses in its place.
Her hand flattened once again against the firmness of his chest, only to be pulled away in a motion that to them both felt utterly slow and heavy in its execution. His eyes turned wide, pleading, begging for another trial and a chance for a more merciful conviction. Helplessness was bleeding from his shattered heart, trickling down his spine and spreading its poison thru his delicate veins. His eyes closed, wishing shamelessly they would never open again.
The soft sound of crisp fabric caressing smooth skin made his silent wish forgotten, the sight meeting his tired eye removing every evidence of its swift existence. Her slender frame was farther away, but the space left in front of him promised him the opportunity to be closer than ever before, the new room serving as his saviour in a cold night of emotional pain and torment.
His body came to rest beside hers, tentative movements speaking of the lingering fear of potential change of mind. She could sense his need for closeness; confirmation of forgiveness in the form of shared warmth and intimate touch. She could not give much, not tonight, their connection to clouded with confused emotion to survive a complete coupling of their souls tonight.
They lay on their sides, forehead to forehead, third eye to third eye, letting their connection speak what could still not be uttered in spoken words. Breath mingled in the narrow space, coating each others lips with the pure essence of the other, breathing life and hope into their cold existence. Not a single word was spoken that night, every word needed reached their tired minds the moment their lips brushed in silent conversation. Forgiveness was mercifully given, happily accepted and stored away to be cherished for eternity.
"I'm asking you to take me
Thoughtless acts accompanied by despair and words uttered by a poisonous tongue can never cease to exist or remain forgotten. The trader of heartache and emotional anguish can never undo the actions provoking such emotions. Were pain is given, pain will stay.
When that is said….
This world is too cruel to not forgive actions performed in the dangerous tangle of love and desperation; to frightening in its merciless way of ruling over humankind to reject love were it is already tightly woven between two souls of shared fate. Past can never be truly forgotten, but it can be truly forgiven….
…..at least for one silent, peaceful night.
I'm a slave unto the mercy of your love
For so long, I've been so wrong
I could never live without you
Take me to safety"
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