Chapter 2 - The Chocolate Room

In many ways the Chocolate room was as Veruca had told him about it in Barrigan's mind. The only new additions were the candy cane fences along the Chocolate River and over its bridges that blocked access to the river at all points accept for the dock for the Wonkatania. Otherwise it was the same room of edibles that Veruca duplicated for Salt's Nuts. Oompa Loompas were busy harvesting the various candies that seemed to grow in the room rather than being manufactured. The chocolate waterfall's gentle roar could be heard in the background. The great glass pipes pumped chocolate from the river to other parts of the factory including the infamous strawberry flavored chocolate coated fudge room where Augustus Gloop spent most of the original Golden Ticket tour as "first boy out".

"All tours begin here, even this field trip as this is the nerve center for the entire factory." Charlie announced. "Everything in this room is eatable and as you can see what is made here is done by a unique artificial growth process is used for a lot of the other candies we sell besides chocolate."

Charlie then continued. "Now the river is hot melted chocolate of the highest quality and the waterfall is very important."

"Why is the waterfall so important?" Mr. Turkentine asked Charlie.

"It mixes and churns the chocolate giving it the light frothy condition that is unique to Wonka bars and boxed chocolates and fudges." Charlie answered. "Now you notice how the other candies in this room appear to grow. This is another unique Wonka manufacturing process. By this pseudo growth process unique to this room candies other than chocolate are made and harvested by the Oompa Loompas on a daily basis for processing, molding and packaging in the in the more conventional rooms of the factory. As you see we have SweeTart mushrooms, the now famous Swudge grass, candy canes, hard candies, conventional gobstoppers, jelly beans, orange slices, lollypops, gummy bears and my favorite in this room. Real apple trees that produce caramel apples."

"Mr. Wonka is really an amazing man to be able to do all of this." Mr. Turkentine said. "But have you contributed anything to the factory's inventory or operation yet Charlie."

"Yes," Charlie answered. "I'm responsible for adding several unique flavors of Junior Woodchuck Taffy to Mr. Wonka's inventory. But that's about it for now. After all I'm new at this. However more contributions have been made by other golden ticket winners when it was decided they should share in the apprenticeship and ownership of the factory in their specialized areas. Mike Teavee is responsible for a lot of the new computer and closed circuit television based observation systems now in the factory as well as our new candy based video game line. Violet Beuregarde has turned the Oompa Loompas into a very formidable self defense force despite their small size with her martial arts expertise. With the squirrels added to them this place is virtually cannot be invaded by spies now. Augustus Gloop is now our first human tester of candies after the Ooompa Loompa tests have been successfully completed. In fact the only Golden Ticket Winner not sharing in the fun here at Mr. Wonka's now is Barrigan's cousin Veruca. She's a "bad nut" that the squirrels will dispose of again on sight if she comes here again."

"I know all about yours and Mr Wonka's squirrels." Barrigan snapped back. "And you won't get me in that nut room with them Charlie inferior peasant Bucket."

"Enough of that." Mr. Turkentine snapped at Barrigan. "I'm just as likely to use the duct tape on a snooty and bigoted mouth as a dirty one."

"The Nut Sorting Room is off limits today because you are an already known "bad nut" and the incinerator is lit today." Charlie returned to Barrigan. "And anyway we can't have the squirrels wasting time trying to throw you down the garbage chute even if it wasn't with the Christmas shopping season coming up. They are needed to sort and open the nuts for our boxed Christmas chocolates lines." Then Charlie said to the five kids in the tour and Mr. Turkentine, "Any questions.".

"Yes." Melenie asked. "What is this Junior Woodchuck thing with the taffy you cook up."

"It is a Scout like organization from one of the places we deliver candy to that I'm a member of." Charlie answered.

"But where is this place." Mr. Turkentine asked.

"Sorry but I'm not at liberty to tell you where this place is at this particular time." Charlie returned. "It is a factory secret between the other three golden ticket winners that visit and help run the factory, Willy Wonka, the Oompa Loompas and myself."

"Then I withdraw the question." Mr. Turkentine said. "I respect yours and Mr. Wonka's confidences."

"Does that uniform you are wearing have anything to do with this Junior Woodchuck business?" Daniel Freidler asked.

"No." Charlie answered. "This is my uniform for the position of First Officer on the Wonkatania, the boat that travels the chocolate river to various parts of the factory connected by it. Since we will be using the boat to get to our next destination and I will be taking the Drummer's position because it is on the opposite end of the boat from any of you and any dirty tricks you might wish to pull on me I felt it more appropriate to wear this rather than my Wonka type outfit for this field trip."

"How come you don't seem to have a parental permission slip for this get together?" Joseph Tedler asked.

"Oh, but I do." Charlie said. "In fact my parents and their parents as well live in the factory with me. You see that little house by the main bridge across the Chocolate River? They are all there now as that's where we live."

"Oh, what a DUMP!" Berrigan shouted. "Definitely an inferior abode for inferior people."

Mr. Turkentine produced the roll of duct tape from his pocket. "One more remark like that, Barrigan P. Salt, just one more." then continued to Charlie, "Will we be able to visit your family on this trip?"

"Not Really." Charlie returned. "Mom and Dad have outside jobs and Grandpa Joe, Grandpa George, Grandma Josephine and Grandma Georgina usually nap at this time. They are very old you know. However you can explore the other parts of the room other than the house and the fenced off areas and try any of the candies you wish. You can even try some of the river chocolate that is not in the river itself. You will mainly find it in the assorted candy balls and pumpkins that can be found throughout the room. Now have a good time and scoot."

Charlie shooed all the other kids off except Melenie.

"You have something rigged here, don't you Charlie?" Melenie asked.

"Yes, but it's not the chocolate river this time. Like I said before, its off limits and fenced off."

Just like the last time most of the kids were munching on the various candies available in the Chocolate room but Daniel Friedler had other plans. He felt that if he could force Charlie into a foot race, trip him and dump him over the candy cane fence and into the chocolate river that Willy Wonka would become angry at his river being touched by human hands. This would lead to Charlie's being removed from all his positions at the factory and Willy Wonka eventually dying without an heir. This he would do for the Salts and the Slugworths and he might even be rewarded with a handsome monetary prize by the Black Triangle itself as a freelancer for the action he was about to take. Daniel then ran toward Charlie at full speed.

"Watch out Charlie!" Melenie shouted.

Charlie turned and saw Daniel running at him probably with some intent to force him into a foot race and trip him in mind. He knew at that point it was time to go into action. Daniel had sprung his trap with this action. Charlie ran with all his own strength toward a sleight depression in the swudge grass near the chocolate river. Due to the fact that he was lightweight and was wearing short pants which freed his legs

Charlie jumped the depression easily while Daniel in his jump attempt over it fell right into its center and began to sink slowly into the depression which turned from swudge grass into a mixture of thick melted chocolate and swudge grass.

"What is this?!" Daniel yelled at Charlie, "You have QUICKSAND in a Chocolate Factory."

"Of course we don't!" Charlie returned. "This is a chocolate factory, not a concrete factory which would be the kind that has sand of any kind in it. What you jumped into is quick CHOCOLATE, not quick SAND! There's quite a difference. Basically Willy Wonka allowed me to divert a part of the river that is thickened to a quicksand like consistency and usually goes into pumpkins and candy balls into this depression to set this little trap for you which serves you right for winning your track and field trophies and good PE grades by CHEATING and tripping other runners."

Daniel sank up to his shoulders and stopped as of course it was not Charlie's intent to drown Daniel in the quick chocolate. At this point music that sounded like old 19th century Western saloon piano playing mixed with other 19th century frontier musical instruments could be heard throughout the Chocolate Room.

"Great!" Charlie shouted "it looks like the Oompa Loompas are going to sing us a little song. And since we are studying 19th Century America in history class this month all the songs are going to be to tunes from that time and place."

The Oompa Loompas began to assemble in semi circles around the field trip participants and the quick chocolate pool. One of the old people came out of the house and gradually made his way to Charlie.

"Grandpa Joe," What are you doing up at this time of day?" Charlie asked.

"You know I always like to come out when the Oompa Loompas are singing." Grandpa Joe returned.

With that Charlie, Grandpa Joe, Melenie and Mr. Turkentine started clapping their hands and swaying their heads to the music and the Oompa Loompas began their song.

(Oompa Loompa main song sung to the Tune of

Aunt Dinah's Quilting Party from 1856 by John Fletcher)

Daniel cheated in his track runs, and felt tripping was not wrong,

Daniel Friedler's sunk in the quick chocolate, So its time to say so long.

Yes it's time to say so long, It is time to say so long.

Daniel Friedler's sunk in the quick chocolate, So it's time to say so long.

So Young Daniel was a cheater, and we knew it all along,

And he took a dive in the quick chocolate, So its time to say so long.

Yes it's time to say so long, It is time to say so long.

Daniel Freidler's sunk in the quick chocolate, So it's time to say so long.

Daniel got a silver ticket, but flunked out before too long,

When he took the dive in the quick chocolate, So it's time to say so long.

Yes it's time to say so long, It is time to say so long.

Daniel Freidler's sunk in the quick chocolate, So it's time to say so long.

Daniel tried to trip our Charlie, but he only got this song,

When he took the dive in the quick chocolate, So it's time to say so long.

Yes it's time to say so long, It is time to say so long.

Daniel Freidler's sunk in the quick chocolate, So it's time to say so long.

The music then changed to the standard music for the moral part of Oompa Loompa songs directed at those who fell into factory traps due to their character flaws and misdeeds.

Oompa Loompa doompity do,

I have a perfect puzzle for you.

Oompa Loompa dooma da de.

If you are wise you will listen to me.

Cheating at sports is never right to do,

It could result in a lawsuit or two.

But more than that it will always be wrong.

Tripping and cheating all along.

Makes you look like you can't win.

Oompa Loompa doompity da,

Don't be a cheater, you will go far.

You will live in happiness too,

Like the Oooma Loompa doompity do!

"Wasn't that great?" Charlie shouted out. "The Oompa Lompas are wonderful singers in any musical genre."

"Come off it." Barrigan said. "We know that song and this whole event was rehearsed and you and those little inferior creeps knew what was going to happen at start."

"Then maybe you should be more careful with your mouth from now on." Mr. Turkentine said flashing the roll of duct tape. "You may just trip a trap of your own from me if you don't from Charlie and this factory. Now this is the last time, no more profanity and no more arrogant hate speech on this tour."

Mr. Turkentine then asked Charlie. "Now about Daniel, how do you intend to get him out of the quick chocolate."

"Simple," Charlie returned, "The same way Willy got Augustus Gloop out of the chocolate river."

Suddenly one of the factory pipes came down from the ceiling of the Chocolate Room and sucked Daniel up into it.

"Now where does that pipe go to." Barrigan asked. "Oh, don't answer that, we already know, it is either the room where Willy Wonka makes his most delicious strawberry flavored chocolate coated fudge or the room where you cook up your Junior Woodchuck taffy."

"Neither," Charlie returned. "That pipe simply leads to the main corridor where Daniel will remain till the end of the tour. And now on to the boat and let the field trip continue.

While they walked to the boat the three remaining bullies were talking to one another.

Well that's (*&%+ censored #^%$&^ cookoobird *&^#$) one of us down and three to go." Collin Ridley said.

"Don't worry Collin." Barrigan returned. "Daniel was too impulsive and felt he could do his PE tripping here in the factory in spite of it obviously being rigged against us. Just follow the rules I gave you based on Veruca's experience here and we will get Charlie for Veruca and Willy for the Black Triangle."

Joseph Tedler then entered the conversation. "If you what to help the Black Triangle just keep your eyes open for something to steal for Mr. Slugworth and your mouth shut. You realize that we have the opportunity here to do what no one has been able to do since Willy Wonka shut off this factory to most human employees other than and the Bucket family and the three golden ticket winners who reformed as a result of the traps and Oompa Loompa songs they encountered here. We can put this factory out of business by stealing one of Willy's inventions and having Slugworth produce it.

"But which (blanketyheck *&$%&) one." Collin asked. " A (* *&% censored %*#! ) gobstopper that can last for a year or more won't make any (%?&%$* censored *!&%\$) money and is completely (&*!^% cookoobird &!^$#&* ) impractical. Same for that hair toffee that turns you into a (blanketyheck &!% ) Cousin It and that gum that turns you into a ($*& $! censored) blueberry.

"There must be something in that Inventing room that is safe and ready to go." Joseph said to Collin.

"If there is I'll be the one to find it." Barrigan broke in.

"What's all this whispering about!" Mr. Turkentine shouted. "I would rather you there just keep quiet and let Charlie conduct his tour in peace so we can get back to school."

Finally the field trip / tour reached the boat and boarded it according to Charlie's instruction. Mr. Turkentine and the three remaining bullies were seated under the tail while Grandpa Joe, and Melenie were seated on the stair to the drummer's section under the seahorse head and Charlie took his special seat at the drummers section itself. Once there he took his Wonka hat off and placed it under the seat. Recovering his First Officer's visor cap from under the seat he put that on his head in the Wonka hat's place.

"Why do you have us up in this section of the boat this time." Grandpa Joe asked Charlie.

"Quite frankly I don't trust those three snakes in the back with either of you, even with Mr. Turkentine supervising them." Charlie said then said to the Oompa Loompas rowing the boat. "To the Inventing Room, Foreward."

Charlie than began beating the drum and the Oompa Loompas rowed and chanted in tome with his drumbeats. All on board were treated to the more unexplored sections of the Chocolate Room away from the Bucket house with the chocolate river's artistically stratified banks and the ever taller candy analogs of trees, flowers and mushrooms. The boat then quietly entered the tunnel pipe leading from the Chocolate Room to the Inventing Room.