YO this is Gundam Epiyon and this is the next chapter to random blood
The Beta (yes this is a rip-off from Red vs. Blue): Let's get this show on the road!
AN: Now a lot of you may wonder where I am going with this. Well let's just say that Insanity and laughs at this particular story. Because Naruto is slightly insane and it will show in this upcoming chapter now; he's not "I am gonna kill you insane" like the Joker from Batman. No he's more of a prank happy insane and its gonna be one helluva party with Naruto's pranks in the upcoming chapter anyway on with Chapter 2
After two hours of trying to wake both Iruka and the Hokage up, Naruto got a devilish grin on his face and said: "Oh shit, there's some Kunoichi making out in the water fountain outside in the park!"
Immediately both the Hokage and Iruka got up and ran to the window, desperately trying to find the scene which Naruto described; only for Naruto to laugh so hard when they asked what was funny he said: "I knew you were a perv Hokage-jisan, but I never would of thought that Iruka-sensei was a perv as well, and that was just to wake you guys up."
A completely embarrassed Sarutobi chuckled nervously: "Ehem, yes well now that we are up mind, telling us why you didn't trust us enough to tell us how smart you were."
Naruto raised an eyebrow and spoke as if they were extremely slow: "Easy, if I told you then you would not have the natural look of surprise when I revealed how smart I actually was.
Both Iruka and Sarutobi, who were sporting sweatdrops, were thinking along the same lines: "Still the same old Naruto, only much smarter."
"Ok I guess that makes sense. Anyway for your service in defeating a chunin as well as obtaining a bloodline of sorts; you are hereby promoted to gennin. Now you have a month off before team assignments; I suggest you use this time to train in your bloodline is that understood gennin Uzumaki?"
Naruto stood at attention, knowing it was a time to be serious and said: "Yes sir, Hokage-Sama." Which shocked the hell out of both Iruka and Sarutobi, because Naruto did not call the Sandamie Jiji.
After that was all said and done Naruto left to train his new bloodline; he would not be seen except for a few times when seen at Ichiraku ramen bar, or at random times during the day.
A month later, a figure was walking back into Konoha. The figure stood at five foot eleven, where it used to be five foot nine; it was wearing Black Anbu style pants with Silver spiked shingaurds; steel toed boots instead of the standard ninja sandals; the figure also wore no shirt showing off his massive eight pack frame, which was making quite a few women faint in the street as they saw him; he was wearing a cloak which had spiked silver shoulder pads and his hair was blonde in a straight spiky combo (picture super Saiyan four Goku's hair only blonde); as he walked he was doing the peck pop of love, which made quite a few men jealous since they weren't that buff and every woman that looked his way was rocketing backwards via nosebleed and a perverted smile on their faces. His muscles looked as if they would pop if they moved, that's how big and defined they were, the figure took off the half mask he was wearing to show Uzumaki Naruto as he walked right into the Hokage's office.
The blonde just spoke in a completely bored tone as he walked in: "Hey Ji-san, I am back from training!"
The Sandamie's pipe fell out of his mouth as he looked upon his surrogate grandson: "Naruto is that you? Damn one month really did you good; how the hell did you manage to get so buff in one month?"
Naruto chuckled: "Well did you know the shadow clone can do chakra work, but the darkness clone can do body work as well as spirit work?"
Sarutobi blinked a few times before responding: "Well I knew that the shadow clone does retain memory; but I had no idea that any clone jutsu could retain muscle memory."
The blond gennin chuckled: "Well if the Shadow clones retain memories, why not use them to do your paper work? That way you can spend more time having fun and spending time with Konohamaru and Asuma."
Sarutobi looked at Naruto for about ten seconds with a look of stupidity, before a look of realization came upon his face he took out a huge envelope that read: "When you find out the way to defeat paperwork open this." Opening the envelope he took out a big sheet of paper that said "bang head here." He then placed the paper on his desk before repeatedly banging his head onto his desk, all the while spouting numerous curses and ways to kill himself for not figuring it out sooner.
Ten minutes of banging his head Later Sarutobi finally stopped, got up and gave Naruto a SSS rank mission pay voucher for helping him learn the secret to defeating paper work. Needless to say Naruto was freaking rich now, but he still had a sweat drop because of how much pay he got for that; however he did not want to flaunt it like all other clans do when they have lots of money.
After leaving the Hokage's office, and more women and teenage girls fainting at his appearance, Naruto made it to the academy for team placement. When he arrived 'Sasuke's' fangirls switched sides; with Kiba groaning that why can't he get bitches with all the girls glaring at him for using that to describe them and the only loyal 'Sasuke' fangirl left was Sakura Whoruno, I mean Haruno.
Naruto decided to screw with the class, and Iruka, so he walked up the wall, and laid down and started to do sit-ups ON THE CEILING everybody was stunned or 'jealous' in 'Sasuke's' case.
"DOBE, TELL ME HOW TO DO THAT WALK UP THE WALL! I'M AN UCHIHA ONLY I SHOULD KNOW SUCH TECHNIQUES!"
Naruto looked at 'Sasuke' with a look that seemed to scream "Are you stupid" before continuing and said: "This is a chakra control exercise everyone can learn it not just your oh so great Uchihaness; so unless you want to go to the ninja council and say only Uchihas can do this exercise, and then most likely get your ass kicked for being stupid then shut the hell up and wait for Iruka."
With that being said Naruto let his bottom half stop letting chakra flow and only had his hands on the ceiling and started to do pull ups which in itself had the girls and a certain Uchiha (The Beta: You better be doing what I think your doing, or I will stop being your Beta.) blushing at his sweating abs.
After Iruka had announced the teams, and they all were sitting in their seats waiting for their senseis, Naruto had pulled out a pen and thick notebook and was writing; Kiba had come up behind him and snatched it from his hands reading the title of the page.
Kiba's eyebrow raised, in shock: "Final Fantasy 7? Wait, you're the Author of the top-selling book series in the Elemental Nations? Those books even topped Jiraiya-sama's Icha Icha in its first week on the shelves! I have the first six when will this one be ready?"
Everyone was looking at Naruto with wide eyes; they all had copies of the books and loved them! They even knew their parents read them; they had a little something for everyone Romance for the girls, Action and adventure for the boys, suspense for everyone, and tragedy tear jerking moments that the girls enjoyed to read about for some reason.
Naruto, in a calm yet somehow completely pissed off tone, decided to get back to his hobby/money making idea: "I would be done with it as soon as possible, if I got my notebook back Kiba." At that everyone in the classroom was glaring at Kiba telling him to give the notebook back so the best author in the world could finish his latest work.
Ino, who was batting her eyes at him in an attempt to be seductive, spoke in a tone that would get most boys to think with their other head: "Can you tell us what this one is about Naruto?"
Our favorite blond Gennin responded as he continued to write: "No, but I will tell you this story will come in six books. It's basically its own mini series in the story line. The one I am currently writing is called Crisis Core, the second is called Before Crisis, the third will be called Final Fantasy VII, the fourth is called Advent Children Complete, the fifth is Dirge of Cerberus, and the final one is going to be called Dirge of Cerberus: Lost Episode. That is all I am saying, you will have to wait for them to come out to read them."
This got everyone excited; Final Fantasy VII would be the first mini series of the Final Fantasy books. Some were even trying yet failing to see what he was writing mainly because he had a Genjutsu over his notebook not allowing anyone but himself to read what he was writing at the moment.
Finally after what seemed like hours the senseis started coming in, taking their squads, most of which would fail the real gennin test; finally a young woman with red eyes came through the door dragging a silver haired jonin with a half face mask and his headband covering his left eye, with a smoking bearded jonin walked in after them.
The bearded chain Smoker broke the silence: "Team 10, follow me to training ground 14." That was Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji's queue to get up and leave with the now smoking jonin.
The red eyed beauty glared at the smoking jonin, before turning back around and saying: "Team 8 with me." That caused Kiba, Shino, and Hinata to get up and leave with Kurenai; who was again glaring, this time at Kakashi for reading his Icha Icha in front of her.
Kakashi sighed and without looking up from his smut said: "Well I already hate you." Which seemed to get a very hateful stared from his soon to be team.
Kakashi sighed again and finally said: "Meet me on the roof in five minutes or you will be sent back to the academy." With that he disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Naruto then grabbing hold of 'Sasuke' and Sakura, before using a new skill he learned from his random blood; and threw them up in the air before transforming into a huge Majestic Lion. He then jumped out the window with both of his teammates screaming in fear before digging his claws into the wall and using his chakra to run up the side of the building.
Imagine Kakashi's surprise when a huge freaking Lion jumped onto the roof and then let loose a loud deafening roar that scared the living shit out of everyone within a five mile radius. The Lion then morphed back into Naruto; who then fell down laughing the whole time at the freaked out looks on his teams faces, and the look of lust on 'Sasuke's' face before it quickly disappeared back into a scowl and brooding persona.
Kakashi, reburied in his smut, spoke in his usual lazy drawl: "Well after that scary entrance by Naruto, lets introduce ourselves to each other if we are going to be a team."
Sakura, showing her intelligence as befitting the Kunoichi of the year, decided to ask the obvious: "What do you mean sensei?" This caused the others to look at her thinking: "And she was the smartest in the academy?"
Kakashi's lazy drawl once again answered: "What I mean is your name likes, dislikes, dreams and goals for the future I will go first. My name is Kakashi Hakate; I like things; I dislike other things; and my dreams and goals well you are not old enough to know those yet."
Naruto, with twitching eye, spoke in a completely annoyed tone: "In other words: you like porn; you hate anyone who hates porn; your dream is to write your own porn; and your goal is to star in a porno movie." This caused our favorite Cyclops to look at him in utter surprise before sputtering: "How did you know all that".
Naruto replied with a rueful chuckle: "I know lots of things dog-san."
Causing Kakashi to once again go wide eyed before replying: "Well then Mr. Smart ass you're next."
Naruto thought about it for a second, before squashing the impulse to copy Kakashi's intro, and then spoke in a carefree tone: "Well my name is Naruto Uzumaki; I like ramen, a girl whos name means flower, a certain dango addict , and a certain red eyed jonin; my dislikes are those who can't see underneath the underneath, and the time it takes to cook home made ramen; my dreams and goals are to finish my book series, see it stay at the number one selling list, and to have a big family."
Kakashi, only minorly interested, replied lightly: "Oh, and what book series do you write Naruto?" Both 'Sasuke' and Sakura were getting ready to blurt it out; but Naruto beat them to it by taking out a book which Kakashi realized was Final Fantasy 1. Seeing this he immediately went into fan boy mode about the book; causing Naruto to use "Pimp Slap No Jutsu" on him saying "Snap out of it sensei!"
That was enough to get him back on track, just in time for Sakura's intro: "My name is Sakura Haruno," she was interrupted by Naruto saying: "You mean Whoruno." Sakura, while trying and failing to punch Naruto, screamed at the top of her lungs: "Shut up Naruto-Baka!"
After recomposing herself she continued: "Anyway I like reading the Final Fantasy series, but am considering stopping since I know its Naruto who writes them; I like;" here she looked at Sasuke and giggled, then fainted from a nosebleed she apparently had a fantasy about said brooder who just scooted away from the crazy stalker pink haired howler monkey.
Kakashi, sweatdrop present, then turned to his last student: "Ok moving on from that disturbing introduction, Brooding-Duck-Butt-San your next."
Said Duck-butted one scowled before responding: "My name is 'Sasuke' Uchiha; I like the same book series as Sakura, and that scares me, I also love anything with tomatoes; I hate everything else; my dreams and goals are to restore my clan, get a certain someone to notice the real me, and to kill a certain man."
Kakashi, Naruto, and a recently awakened Sakura were wandering who this mystery person 'Sasuke' wanted to show the real 'him' to, only with Sakura thinking it was her and that her 'Sasuke-kun' was just shy.
Kakashi then spoke up with an eye smile: "OK we'll meet at training ground 7, at 7 tomorrow for the real test."
Sakura, smartest Kunoichi in her class that she is, decided she needed clarification: "What real test didn't we take the gennin test in the academy?"
Kakashi, still not taking his nose out of his book, spoke in a nonchalant tone: "No that was just to weed out the hopeless cases. Oh and one more word of advice, skip breakfast tomorrow or you will only throw it up." He then left in a swirl of leaves, signifying the basic Konoha Shushun.
Naruto spoke up as soon as he was sure his sensei was out of range: "Hey guys, I suggest you eat tomorrow; if you don't it will slow you down during the test." Naruto then left in his Majestic Lion form. The other two then went their own ways home; but not without Sakura pestering 'Sasuke' for a date the whole time until 'he' slammed the door to 'his' house in her face, causing a dent to appear in the clan compound's door.
Not knowing that what would happen tomorrow would be a life changing event, the three gennin fell asleep. After a big supper in Naruto and 'Sasuke's' cases; with Sakura eating a small salad and a tiny glass of diet water with a diet pill before going to the bathroom to throw it up so she could stay thin for 'Sasuke-kun' before going to bed herself.
Hey guys sorry for the long wait for this chapter anyway next chpt I will reveal some of Naruto's skills he learned during the one month period, anyway read and review if you don't like this story oh well I tried.
There will be a harem but I will not add Hinata, Sakura, Tsunade, or Tsume so don't ask; and please don't tell me the reason why you love Hinata cause I don't care I just don't like her.
on a sidenote I am letting you all know that most of my new stories and ideas will be going up on yourfanfiction . com because of obvious reasons if they aren't obvious read the updates on the main page of fanfiction anyway my name on your fanfiction is same as here only instead of Epiyon I accidently spelled it wrong its Epiyan there so if you look in a week or 2 I will have my first new idea up on that site I have about 2 more new ideas going up on this site but that is it after those only updates will come here