Author: Livvyham - Livia Hambur
Disclaimer: I don't own "Glee" or its characters, this is for entertainment purposes only. If I owned it then Sebastian and Blaine would be together.
Summary: Random moments in time when actions speak louder than words. Seblaine
Warning: Season 3 ep 14. Contains mild reference to abuse.
Author's note: I've always felt that sometimes people forget how intimate holding hands can be, and the different meanings surrounding it. I kind of went with how I think Quinn's fate should be, but I didn't focus on it. Also, I love Sebastian, so I like to see him as a really nice person, especially after he was such a douche. Feel free to leave me reviews, in fact I highly suggest them since it means people actually read my work. Any suggestions or challenges, feel free to leave a review or email me at livi_
It seemed deathly quiet in the waiting room as the members of New Directions sat in the hard chairs. The news that had shattered the happy and excited atmosphere at the court house had been almost too difficult to imagine. There they all sat, quiet and nervous, hoping for the best news possible, begging and praying that things would be alright.
"It's all my fault." A voice piped up and broke the trance. Everyone turned to Rachel's stunned face. Still in her wedding dress, crumpled and far from her beaming self a few hours ago, Rachel spoke the words with confidence. The tone of her voice echoed her stunned state. Hand gripped tight in Finn's, she looked at all the faces staring at her. "If I hadn't been getting married, Quinn wouldn't have been in the accident. I did this." With those words she erupted into tears, burying her head into Finn's shoulder and setting everyone off. The moments of shock were long gone.
All the girls had tears flowing down their faces, some of the boys similar. Rachel's fathers ran over to comfort her, whispering that it was an accident and it wasn't her fault, but she sobbed louder. Every face showed the worry and desperate plea for safety for their loved member of the club. Tears flowed freely as everyone waited for any news. A few hours had completely changed the day.
Quinn's mother paced the floor, wringing her hands together as she waited. Her eyes were wild and her body language was on edge. It was her little girl who had been hurt, and she didn't know how bad. Was her child even going to be ok? She couldn't think like that. So she paced, waiting and praying, silently hoping for a ray of light. Quinn had gone through so much, a teen pregnancy, her father kicking her out, and now when things had started looking up it was ripped from her.
"I can't handle the not-knowing! I can't stay here. Too many bad memories." Kurt jumped up and rubbed the back of his neck. His eyes were red and puffy from crying and he was shaking slightly.
"It's alright, I'm right here." Blaine said soothingly, grabbing Kurt's hand. Kurt shook his head and pulled his hand away.
"My mom, my dad, David, I just can't be here. I need some air." He started walking away and Blaine went to jump and follow but Burt and Carol followed.
"Don't worry, Blaine. We'll go talk to him. You wait here with everyone else." They hurried off and Blaine stared off. He knew it was hard for Kurt, but he wished that his boyfriend was with him. Quinn was a part of their group and he was worried sick. The rest of the group was bunched up with their loved ones. Mike and Tina sat huddled in the corner, Tina crying into Mike's jacket, Rory and Artie were calming Sugar who was sobbing about paying for the best attention for Quinn, Brittany sat on Santana's lap, face fallen. Mercedes was sitting close with Puck, but Sam was on the other side of her, their fight forgotten. Even Mr Shue was comforting Sue Sylvester. Blaine felt alone in the waiting room.
As he watched where Kurt had just disappeared, a familiar face appeared, almost tentative as he walked closer. Sebastian eyed the room carefully, uncertain as he walked close. Blaine lifted a hand of greeting and Sebastian walked over.
"I just heard that Quinn was in an accident. I wasn't sure if I should come but I felt it was the right thing to do." Sebastian said, worried that he might be kicked out. Mercedes looked over and gave a small smile.
"It's alright. It's nice of you to join us." She said softly to him before giving a worried look over to Quinn's mom. Everyone had looked over at him, but soon they all forgot he was there, worry on their faces as they impatiently waited to find out about their friend.
Sebastian stood next to where Blaine was standing and gave a half hearted smile. Blaine returned it but sunk in his chair, the smile gone in a second. Sebastian sat down hastily and had a sombre look on his face. Everyone was talking quietly to themselves, no one really paying much attention except to look at every nurse and doctor who walked by them, hoping for news. At the moment there was nothing to tell.
"What exactly happened?" Sebastian said softly, not wanting to gather too much attention. He didn't want to annoy anyone especially since they were so worried and he had been horrible in the past. He was trying to be better.
"She was driving to get to the court house for the wedding, when she got hit by a car. All we know is that she is in surgery. We don't know anything else." Blaine cast his eyes to the floor, scuffing his shoes on the ground as he tried not to cry. Quinn was amazing. She had just got accepted into Yale and had so much ahead of her. Now this had happened.
Blaine was so absorbed in his thoughts, trying not to cry, that it took him a moment to recognise Sebastian's hand on his leg. It wasn't sexual, but more comforting. Blaine didn't move, fearing the tears would start and that he couldn't stop them. He wanted to be strong. There wasn't anything that he could do to help the situation, but he wanted to stand strong and be prepared for whatever news came at him. Sebastian moved his hand to grab Blaine's and he held on tight. Blaine knew he wasn't trying to hit on him and he was grateful for it. Sebastian cared enough, so Blaine squeezed the hand back and waited. With Sebastian as his anchor, he could be strong.
Blaine was sitting on a park bench in the middle of Lima when he saw Kurt walk over. His heart sunk and he smiled slightly at his boyfriend. Things had been touch and go for a while, and he just felt them drifting apart. Kurt was focused on going to NYADA, and Blaine felt that he just couldn't compete. He loved Kurt, but he was hurting inside.
"We've always been honest with each other." Kurt suddenly said, sitting down next to Blaine, but not close enough for them to be touching. Surprised, Blaine nodded, the dread starting to fill his stomach. "I love you Blaine, you know that, right?" Kurt said, looking at Blaine but quickly glancing away.
"I love you too. But you can feel it, can't you." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. The drifting apart, the lack of intimacy. There was love, but it was different. Kurt turned with a grim face, his eyes sad.
"Things changed." He said simply, eyes downcast and looking at the trees. Blaine sighed internally, begging himself to hold it together. He could get through this.
"We can't go on like this." Blaine said, his voice strong despite his emotions in turmoil. Was this really happening? Was this a nightmare?
"I don't feel it anymore. I don't feel like we used to be. I still love you, never think that I don't, but the spark, its gone. It isn't fair to you to pretend like it's still there. We can't drag along in this relationship." Kurt's voice was high and wavering, like he was struggling not to cry. His eyes were teary but he held strong as he looked over at Blaine.
"We can fight for it. We can be ok." Blaine said, trying to convince Kurt and himself. Kurt shook his head and Blaine felt like a knife was plunged into his chest.
"There isn't anything to fight for."
"I'm not worth fighting for?" Blaine said, his emotions coming to the surface. He fought with himself, desperate to stay in control.
"Us. We aren't worth fighting for. This isn't good for either of us, Blaine. We have to let it go." Kurt had tears flowing down his face as he spoke, closing his eyes as he tried to breath slowly. Blaine felt his lower lip tremble but he held firm.
"We let go of everything that we were?" Kurt shook his head at the question.
"We'll always have the memories. But we aren't together anymore, Blaine. It's over. We need to close that chapter of our lives. We'll always be friends, but nothing more." Kurt stood up suddenly, wiping his face on his sleeve. Blaine looked up at him, his face showing the pain he felt. "You were always my teenage dream, Blaine. Never forget that." With that Kurt walked away, and Blaine was helpless to stop him. Even as Kurt disappeared from view, he stared in that direction.
Blaine sat there for ages, struggling to contain himself. He didn't want to go home. He didn't want to move, he just wanted to sit and not think. Kurt and he were over. They were no more. It was too hard to comprehend. His phone buzzed a few times but he ignored it. As he stared he vaguely heard his ring tone go, and thought it best if he answered so people didn't worry. But did he trust his voice? He answered the phone, not bothering to check who it was or offer a greeting.
"Blaine?" Sebastian's voice came across the line and the worry associated with it caused his breathing to hitch. Kurt and he were no more. He grunted slightly, scared his voice would give him away.
"Blaine, I saw on facebook. What happened? Are you alright?" The obvious concern was his undoing. He gave out a chocked sob and closed his eyes, putting his head between his knees.
"He's gone." He managed to say, putting all the sadness and heartbreak he could muster in his voice. It must have worried Sebastian further because he heard the sound of car keys from Sebastian's side of the connection.
"Where are you?" There was determination in Sebastian's voice that penetrated Blaine's misery. He struggled to contain his emotions to talk, but he knew he was going to fail even before he talked.
"I'm at the park." He managed to get out, the tears falling heavily.
"I'm on my way." Then the line went dead. Dead. Like how Blaine felt. Dead like he and Kurt's relationship. What had happened? Why had they drifted apart? He loved Kurt, loved him so much it hurt. He had felt them drifting apart, but they could have saved their relationship, couldn't they? His thoughts were a jumble, and he blamed himself. He should have tried harder to mend the bridge. He should have been better.
It didn't take long before Blaine heard someone call out his name. He didn't look up, keeping his head in his hands and trying to contain himself. He didn't want to be a mess, but he couldn't help it. His heart had been ripped apart. As he sat there, he felt someone sit next to him.
Sebastian was close, legs against each other as they sat in silence. Blaine let the tears flow, but held back the sobs that were destined to hit soon. Sebastian didn't offer any words, instead letting Blaine have control of the situation. Feeling the need to explain, he lifted his head and turned to Sebastian. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
No words needed to be said. Sebastian pulled Blaine into a hug and Blaine fell apart on Sebastian's shoulder. He cried into the comfort of Sebastian, letting everything out. Sebastian let one hand hold him tight to him, while the other grabbed one of Blaine's, letting it rest on his thigh. No words, they weren't needed. This was what Blaine needed.
"Everyone huddle together now!" Mr Shue said, gathering the nervous group of teenagers. New Directions gathered together, faces eager for the encouragement that Mr Shue would give them. "I am so proud of everyone of you. Despite the hard times we've gone through this year, we've gotten to Nationals. I believe that we can win this! No matter what happens today, know that you're all winners in my books. We've practised, we've done everything we could to prepare for today. Let's do the best we can, alright?"
Everyone yelled out in excitement in the circle.
"For Quinn." Rachel said, placing her hand in the centre. Everyone went quiet, thinking about their friend sitting in hospital, recovering from the accident.
"For us too." Tina shoved her hand in the middle and smiled, everyone following suit.
"1,2,3, New Directions!" They all shouted, hands raised in the air.
Blaine stood nervous in the room as the rest of them finished their preparations. He was first to sing for them, and the nerves were getting to him. Kurt stood away with Rachel and Mercedes, but offered a small smile to Blaine. He returned it, thankful that things had been relatively ok between them. Wringing his hands together, he hoped that he could do this. What if he messed up the notes? What if he was slightly flat? Would they lose? Would he let the team down? He couldn't do that. He paced, trying to calm down his breathing when there was a knock at the door.
Jeff, Nick and Sebastian walked in, smiling at the nervous teens. They said a hello to everyone, going around the room and wishing them good luck. It was nice to have the support of friends, even if they had been beaten in earlier attempts. The mood lifted slightly, and there were more smiles than nervous glances. Blaine pretended to be fine, but he was panicking. As if he could sense it, Sebastian got close to the boy. Everyone else was too busy to notice them.
"What's wrong?" Sebastian whispered slightly, turning his head to the side. Unable to stop himself, Blaine dropped the smile.
"What if I screw up?" He looked at Sebastian with fear and worry. He couldn't do this. Everyone was counting on him but he was going to screw up.
"You're going to be the best performer out there. I just know it." Sebastian grabbed onto Blaine's hand and gave it a squeeze. Blaine dropped his gaze to the hands, feeling the belief and assurance that it gave him. He looked back at Sebastian with a wide grin. He could do this. He just knew it.
It was a Friday night and Blaine was sitting at home doing some homework. It was sad to see him at home being boring on a Friday night, but there was nothing else to do. It had been a week since the Nationals win and he was behind from the time off to compete. Sitting at his desk and trying to concentrate on his work was hard, but Blaine needed to get it done.
Suddenly his phone rang, causing him to jump. He contemplated answering it, knowing the distraction might mean his work never got done, but he glanced and saw it was Sebastian.
"What's up?" He said as he accepted the call. There was heavy breathing on the other side and Blaine frowned.
"I didn't have anyone else to call." Sebastian's voice sounded broken and Blaine jumped out of his chair, trying to find his shoes while holding onto the phone.
"What's going on?" His voice was slightly panicked and he knew he needed to calm down. This wasn't about him.
"I-I just... Can you come over?" Sebastian's voice was laboured and Blaine just knew he was hurt. Without a second thought he shoved his shoes on, keeping his ear plastered to the phone and ran downstairs.
"Sebastian, what is going on? Where are you?" Blaine kept his voice calm, hoping to not upset Sebastian any more than he seemed to be.
"I'm at home. He usually isn't this bad, but he was drunk and angry. His work gets him stressed." Sebastian paused after every sentence, as if it was too hard to talk. He sounded funny and Blaine knew he needed to be there now. Running to his car, grabbing the keys from his pocket, he opened the car and jumped in, starting it and getting to the street before realising he needed his seatbelt on and two hands on the wheel. He shoved Sebastian on speaker and quickly got his seatbelt buckled in.
"Who? Who, Sebastian?" Blaine's heart was racing but he drove as fast as he dared, desperate to get to Sebastian. He was worried. He hoped he wouldn't get pulled over, Sebastian needed him.
"Dad. He's gone, though." Sebastian's voice cracked and Blaine heard the sobs start. It felt like he was driving like a grandmother. Itching to get there faster, Blaine tried to remember his own safety at the same time, wishing that he could get there now. It had been a few minutes but it felt like hours as Blaine pulled into Sebastian's driveway. The front door was wide open and the porch light was off.
"I'm here." Blaine hung up the phone and ran out of the car, tripping on the front step before he got inside. It was completely dark, and Blaine was forced to feel around for a light switch so he could at least see where he was.
"Sebastian?" He yelled out, heart racing and hoping he would just find Sebastian already. No noise sounded and Blaine finally found the light. Switching it on he glanced around the hallway, seeing stairs and racing up them. He had never been inside Sebastian's house, so he opened every door once he got up the stairs in search for the teen.
He heard a noise at the far room, the door was closed. Running over, Blaine gently opened the door, his hand at the wall to feel for the light switch. The light revealed a room where the sheets were in disarray, the bookcase had been thrown to the floor, the dresser tossed to the side. It was a mess, and in the corner, curled up, was Sebastian.
Blaine made his way over to the sobbing boy, his heart breaking at the sight. Sebastian looked dishevelled. His hair was sticking up everywhere, and his clothing looked ripped. As he got closer he saw the bruises that had begun to show on Sebastian's arms, snaking up to his sleeve.
"Sebastian." Blaine said quietly, and Sebastian looked up.
Lip cut, bruises on his face, a cut on his cheek, he looked a mess. Blaine didn't know what to say, so instead he came closer, sitting down next to the taller boy. He wrapped his arm around him, closing his eyes as the boy buried his head into Blaine's shoulder. The sobs were louder and had Sebastian's whole body shaking as he let it all out.
Things were bad, Sebastian knew that. His father had been violent ever since he had come out, but this had been a million times worse than ever before. The angry words, the punches and kicks, they had been scary. Sebastian had thought he was going to die. But Blaine had come for him. He didn't know what had caused him to call Blaine, but he was grateful that he had. He felt Blaine shift positions slightly and his hand was grabbed. Blaine gave it a small squeeze and despite everything that had happened, despite how his life was going to be from now on, he had Blaine to help him.
And things were going to be ok.