Disclaimer: You already know the story :P
Author's Note: This is a revised edition of my very first fic mind you ^_^ so try to be nice still, regardless if I've been in this hellhole for over one year now. Heh…I was just thinking, this was the most sucky fic, yet I still got some good reviews for it, what was I ever thinking, well, this should be tons better, considering that I've added a shit-load of stuff to it.Victory Dance By: ZellyBaby
Suddenly Xu's voice came over the intercom.
"The following SeeDs report to the bridge Squall, Selphie, Zell, and Quistis. Irvine and Rinoa also please join them. This is an emergency!"
Half asleep but quite angry Squall walked in.
"Dammit Xu, I was asleep…hey were is Rinoa?"
At that instant Rinoa walked in hanging onto Irvine with her shirt half-off. Seeing this Squall was further angered.
"Care to explain?! Come on Rinoa? Irvine?…Hey…Rinoa…are you bowlegged??! Ah fuck it all! The life I live is sad…"
Irvine, regardless of whether Squall cared or not attempted to explain.
"Umm…I found her…outside…yeah…outside in the hall! Her shirt was already off…I mean half off!"
And from absolutely nowhere Selphie viciously attacked Irvine with a flowerpot, knocking him unconscious, then screeched.
"That will teach you to cheat on me that that 2 cent whor…I mean Rinoa!"
Staring for a moment slowly blinking Xu ignored all of what she had saw and nervously said:
"…Is everyone here yet? No, wait…we're still missing Quistis, Zell, and Seifer."
And, consequently enough, as if right on cue, Seifer walked in carrying Quistis, who was mumbling something about whip cream and strawberries. Noticing them Rinoa spoke up.
"Looks like you two were doing what me and Irvine…never mind."
Then, just a few seconds later, Zell walked in wearing a leopard skin thong and a Britney Spears t-shirt, instantly attracting the attention of the entire room.
"Hey…guys…what's wrong? I heard the announcement, sorry I'm late…hey…what are you all staring at?"
Looking down Zell realized what he was wearing, and quickly ripped an unconscious Irvine's coat off and wrapped it around himself. Squall was the first to speak up.
"Zell, regardless of what a nice and large package you have, I'm going to pretend I did not see that."
Once again quite uncomfortable Xu spoke up, trying to quickly change the topic.
"Um…Now that everyone is here, let me explain our situation, a new transvestite sorceress named oddly called sorceress benoit has appeared. S/he is a new sorceress, just like all the other ones, she wants to take over the world, then destroy it, and I need you all, to fight her/him in a head to head battle."
Zell, trying to pretend that what had previously happened, never happened quickly spoke.
"Don't worry about it Xu, we can do it, lets go kick some transvestite ass!"
Squall, who was trying to forget the previous occurrences spoke up as well.
"Don't get so excited Zell."
Then once again, from totally nowhere, Selphie cackled loudly screaming as she had drunken a whole pot of coffee while no one was paying attention. Squall, still trying to make everyone forget what he had said earlier took charge.
"Put down the pot Selphie, come on we don't want you to hurt anyone, please put down the coffee pot, you've already almost killed Irvine with that damned flowerpot."
And then, just like always, something had to instantly come down! But this time, it was a flying squirrel monkey and it conveniently knocks Selphie unconscious. Then Zell quickly scuttles over and plucks the coffee pot from her still grasping hand.
"Thank Hyne for that flying squirrel monkey…wait…flying squirrel monkey?! Oh no!!! A flying squirrel monkey is going to kill us all!!"
Then Squall scuttled over to Zell and grabbed the coffee pot, then effortlessly knocked out the flying squirrel monkey, while Zell continued to scream.
"Shut the hell up! The damned thing is unconscious!"
"Thank you so much Squall, you saved us all! Here, let me repay you…"
Zell began to take off Irvine's coat…
"Hyne no! Zell please stop!!"
Stopping, Zell looked at him curiously.
"What? I was going to give you Irvine's coat, geez, you don't have to bite my head off"
"Please Zell, you keep it, you need it more"
"No I don't, I have pants on now."
Once again, something odd came about as everyone looked over and noticed that Zell had Irvine's pants on. Blinking Squall slowly said:
"Zell, I'm not even going to ask, or even think about how you got Irvine's pants off so quickly."
And as this entered everyone's mind an eerie silence bore down upon the room.
Then, speaking for the first time, once again trying to get everyone off of the current subject Seifer said:
"Well…exactly how do we fine this…um…'sorceress'?
Xu jumped in at the chance of a subject change.
"…I'm glad you asked, see, she smells like the inside of Squall's sweaty leather pants, so Squall, will you kindly take off your pants and let everyone have a whiff so that they will know what s/he smells like? Please be quick about this."
"What?! I'm not taking off my pants!"
Laughing to himself Zell spoke up.
"Squall, I told you so, I knew you would need this coat."
"Fine, give me the damn coat and hurry."
Squall took of his pants and quickly wrapped his partially naked self in Irvine's coat. And while everyone was happily sniffing Squall's pants, Irvine just happened to wake up and suddenly felt a draft. Selphie, who was now conscious and off her caffeine high noticed first.
"Hey guys! Look, Irvys up!"
Irvine looked around confused.
"What the hell?? Why is everyone sniffing Squall's pants? And why do I have no pants…hey were did Zell get thos…hey those are mine! Hey…Squall has my coat! What the HELL is going on?"
Selphie smiled and slowly spoke.
"What are you talking about Irvy? You look the same as usual."
"Oh really, okay, there for a second I though that I was going crazy, phew, what a relief! Oh, nice pants Zell, and Squall, looking sharp in that coat."
While all this was going on Seifer was giggling all girly like to himself thinking about how stupid Irvine really was.
"Hey, cowboy, you're so stupid, those are your pants on Zell, and that's your caot that Squall has around him. I swear I thought you were smarter than that."
Irvine looked at him oddly.
"Seifer, you big meanie, I don't know what you're talking about, I look perfectly fine…ooooo…and so do you big boy, come here!"
Hearing that Quistis suddenly awoke and jumped out of Seifers arms drawing her whip from her belt.
"Stay away Irvine, he's mine!"
"Quistis, what are you talking about? Seifer, what about the other night? Huh? I though you said that you loved me, and only me!?"
"Seifer, what the hell is he talking about? I thought you said that you loved me, and I know find out that you're a fudge packer, get the hell away from me!"
Thinking for a moment Seifer looked at the fuming Quistis, then shrugged and joined Irvine in a victory dance.
"Go Seifer! Its your birthday!"
Then as Seifer shook his ass he spoke.
"Yeah, I'm the man!"
"Oh what the hell!"
Quistis then joined in on the dancing, as did everyone except Squall.
"Man…the life I live is sad…"
And as the scene fades out we see Squall knock himself out with the broad side of his Gun-blade.