Thanks to everyone who's been reading, reviewing, and favouriting!
Just a little note, this Pinkie Pie is a Human!Pinkie Pie for obvious reasons. This is just a little something something so I can get my ideas out.
Dan vs. Cake
"Hurry up, Chris, Mr. Mumbles is getting hungry!" Dan shouted at his best friend and lackey as they got out of Dan's car.
Elise leased Chris to Dan on the condition that he would at least not get Chris hurt and Chris could do some grocery shopping. The only thing on Dan's list was cat food. Dan stomped through the streets to the pet store, Chris casually following and doing some window shopping.
"Hey! Hey! Hey! What the HECK is this LINE doing here?" Dan screamed. Chris walked over to see what was the matter and looked up at the store's sign and banner that said "GRAND OPENING."
"Oh, hey! This is the new bakery Elise was talking about! Woah, Dan, look at this cake over here! It looks delicious! Elise would love this."
Dan growled, "Chris, who CARES? They're blocking the entrance to the pet store! Move! Move! Move!"
Dan started waving his arms and people moved out of his way.
"Hey, Dan, I'm going to wait in line, you go ahead and get Mr. Mumbles' food and just put it in the car."
"Oh, and what, so you can just frolic in there and get a cake for ELISE? I am hurt, Chris. I thought you cared about Mr. Mumbles and also me above anything else."
Chris heaved a sigh, "Listen, I'll buy you something from the bakery, you'll be back before I even get to the front."
"Chris, you know I'm lactose intolerant!" Dan argued.
"Just go! I'm sure they'll have something for you."
"Number three-hundred sixteen!" a high-pitched voice called within the shop and the line was sent into frenzy.
"I'll be right here when you get back," Chris said before leaving to get a number and leaving Dan to stalk off to the pet store. ... By the time Dan got back, Chris was in the middle of the line that stretched across the block by the afternoon.
"This is ridiculous," Dan muttered, crossing his arms and taking in the shop's delicious scents. It made him sick, but he was getting a free meal out of it so...
Dan looked around and leaned to his left to try to get a better look at the bakery's counter. There was one in particular that stood out. A girl with bushy pink hair, giving out people's cakes.
"Number four-hundred thirty-four!" she called.
"Hey, Chris, that means we're close!" Chris nodded, giddy for pies and all the gross confectionaries he was obsessed with.
"Good, I wanna get outta here," Dan noted. Dan spent the next few minutes pretending he was somewhere else. Strangling clowns or on a beach with Mr. Mumbles.
"Number four-hundred fifty-six!" the pink girl called. Chris pulled Dan along, "Hey! Dan! We're up!"
"Hi! I'm Pinkie! What would you like to have today? We have strawberry shortcakes, strawberry tallcakes, green tea cakes, green cakes, cake tea, apple pies, berry pies, appleberry pies, candy of all kinds, lemon meringue..." she listed.
Chris's jaw dropped, "They all sound so delicious!"
"They do, don't they?" she giggled.
"Well, do you have a strawberry banana cake?"
"With or without kiwis?"
"And also apple pie?"
"Dan, do you want anything?"
"I told you, Chris, I can't eat even half of this stuff! I'm lactose intolerant!"
"Oh, we have a whole load of lactose-free goodies! Even cakes! So what would you like?" Pinkie asked, her big blue eyes looking into Dan's beady green ones. Dan froze for only a moment; he would have felt his heart skip a beat if it weren't for the fact that the next moment he would be met with a cake to the face. Apparently one of the girls setting out a fresh cake didn't have one of her shoes tied.
Dan started to steam and then dropped to his knees.
"CAAAAAAAAKE!" he screamed to the ceiling. Pinkie, Chris and everyone else stared at Dan, but Pinkie quickly acted. She hopped over the counter and started cleaning Dan's face.
"I'm so sorry about that! I hope you're okay, don't worry though because I think that was a lactose free cake Jill was putting out. Hey, to make it up to you, we'll give you a free cake!"
Dan grumbled as the cake was wiped away from his face to reveal the cheery Pinkie.
"Forget it! I don't want your stupid-"
"He'll take of your lactose-free chocolate cakes," Chris answered quickly, pulling his friend to his feet.
"With or without strawberries?"
Pinkie hopped back over the counter and started grabbing their orders and before you could say 'Pinkie Pie picked pink pies per perfect peppy party,' she was done wrapping their orders. Chris paid for their things and Pinkie bade them a 'fabulous day!' Dan turned and glared at the busy Pinkie who hadn't even noticed and walked away with Chris.
"I am so gonna get that stupid bakery and its cakes!" Dan plotted. Chris sighed, closing the passenger seat door closed and placing his groceries delicately as possible on his lap.
"Dan, it was just an accident, that poor girl and the cake didn't mean to hurt you!"
"Oh that's what you think, Chris, and everyone knows what you think doesn't matter in the scheme of things, especially MY schemes," Dan cackled.
"Oh god, not again- Dan..."
"Oh sorry, Chris, I can't hear you over the noise of HOW FAST MY CAR IS GOING!" he screeched before letting his own vehicle speed off.
Great, Chris thought, another scheme where I'm gonna get hurt.
Dan was lying on his couch with Mr. Mumbles sleeping soundly on his chest. He was formulating ideas of what to do with that STUPID bakery and it's STUPID cake.
He could try filling each cake with mold...
No, no, that's just too much work, too much waiting...
He could steal all their ingredients!
But what the heck would he do with all that flour?
Then it hit him.
Oh, it was perfect.
The revenge that only a brilliant mastermind like himself would come up with: Dan would buy a cake, 'drop' it, and demand a refund or something.
He'd even be quite meticulous and specific about his order.
No wait, even better: He would break into the bakery and then he would throw their own cakes at their store!
"Brilliant, Dan, just brilliant," he congratulated himself, closing his eyes and waiting for that brand new tomorrow.