I'm so sorry updates haven't been as quick as usual. Argh, I edged my lawn with a pair of scissors today (I'm afraid of weedwackers) and got sunburn all over my whole back and its killing me…been over 100 degrees past couple days. And from holding the scissors for so long, my thumb is completely numb…it feels odd to type.
But I've gotten so many amazing reviews so here is a sick archangel chapter. :D…along with some more pranks to come along! YAY!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
. . .
Chapter 65: Prank War 2:
Michael froze as his eyes landed on Gabriel, who was curled into a ball, covered in sweat and fallen feathers. All he had to do was look at his brother to know what was wrong and to know that both him and Castiel were going to have the same fate. He turned his eyes to Castiel, who seemed more concerned than anything.
"What's wrong with him?" Castiel asked worriedly.
Michael sighed when he could start to feel his own grace start to shudder inside of him "Castiel…you shouldn't have brought me here…"
"What? Why not?" Castiel asked, his voice rising in fear.
"He has that angel flu," Michael groaned, running a hand down his face.
"A what?" Dean asked as he walked through the door "What the hell is that?"
"I thought angels couldn't get sick," Sam pointed out.
Castiel's eyes widened as he realized what Michael meant and noticed how his grace was feeling icy cold inside of him as the sickness worked its way rapidly through.
"It's too late now isn't it?" Castiel asked "I already have it?"
"Have what?" Sam asked, sitting beside Gabriel on the bed. The archangel was breathing softly and appeared to be in a deep sleep.
"I guess you can say it is like a flu…though it only affects angels…a virus of sorts that attacks and infects the grace," Michael explained "It all started…a very long time ago. Lucifer and Gabriel were pranking each other and Lucifer created it to get back at Gabriel."
"Lucifer created a flu?" Dean asked, lifting his eyebrows.
Michael nodded "He thought it would be a one-time thing for Gabe but it ended up infecting almost every angel in Heaven and still has an outbreak every once in a while."
"So what does it do?" Sam asked worriedly, inspecting the tattered wings on his angel.
Castiel sucked in a breath when he felt his body start to heat up uncomfortably and his stomach flip in a way he had never experienced. It was piercing into his grace and he felt his mouth starting to salivate. He clutched at his stomach as the muscles pushed and something was moving up his throat.
"Cas?" Dean asked when his angel jerked forward.
"I…I don't understand," Castiel breathed as his stomach muscles pushed again, causing agony to rip from his grace. Before anyone could move, his knees buckled and he bent over.
Sam had to look away as Castiel threw up. Dean felt as though ice shot through his body when he noticed almost pure glowing ice blue liquid fall onto the dark carpeting. It was literally glowing as it seeped into the floor. It vanished as soon as it soaked through and the carpet surprisingly appeared cleaner in that spot than the rest of the floor. Dean leaned down beside Castiel and placed a hand on his wing, which was beginning to burn up.
Castiel gasped when he stared at his grace liquefied onto his hand. He turned wild blue eyes to Michael, who was turning slightly pale.
"Have you eaten any human food?" Michael asked.
Castiel shook his head. He couldn't remember the last time he ate human food.
"You're in a human vessel…the infection will be much, much worse than usual…if you eat human food, you will not throw up as much of your grace," Michael informed.
"You serious? That's his grace he's spewin' out!" Dean exclaimed.
"It's just his true form trying to rid of the infection…just like humans being sick," Michael said, his voice lowering as the sickness started to take over.
"How do you get rid of it?" Sam asked "And will it infect us?"
"Humans don't get it," Michael said "And we can't just get rid of it…we have to let it run its course…"
"How long?" Sam asked, running a hand over Gabriel's cheek affectionately.
"Bout a week," Michael said, his voice starting to drawl. He hadn't been sick for a very long time.
"A week! Can't you just like…go up to Heaven and heal or something?" Dean asked, flinching when Castiel coughed up some more grace, cleaning a new section of carpeting.
Michael shook his head "Can't fly once you have it…" he said, taking a deep breath as his wings burst out beyond his control "It works fast…we'll end up losing almost all of our feathers…but they'll grow back."
Dean frowned at the image of the angels with torn up wings "How did Gabriel get it in the first place?"
"My guess is Lucifer infected something with it and gave it to Gabriel," Michael said "Lucifer was very upset with him earlier…I should have known."
"Gabriel said something about candy," Sam mentioned, lifting the note back up "I think Lucifer tricked him."
"Sounds like him," Michael said, trying to hold back from smiling. It was annoying when those two had a prank war but it was still funny as well. He gulped down as his own grace tried to come up. He took a deep breath and leaned against the wall.
"What do we do?" Dean asked, running a hand through Castiel's hair.
"We just need a place to stay until we can heal…since we can't fly back to Heaven," Michael said. It was becoming a burden to speak.
Dean and Sam glanced at each other, both asking the same question. Bobby's house…it was the only place big enough for all of them to sit around.
"We'll go to Bobby's," Sam said, giving Gabriel a small push on the shoulder. He was afraid to lift him and move him the wrong way.
"Dean, go make sure there is room in the Impala…I'll get our stuff ready," Sam said, standing up as Gabriel mumbled something unintelligible.
Dean stood up and lifted his eyebrows "There is no way I'm going to have three sick archangels throwing up in my baby," he said, crossing his arms.
"Do you have another idea?" Sam asked "It's not a long drive…two hours at the most."
"They're gonna puke all over her!" Dean argued.
"It'll clean your car, Dean…or do you wanna' stay here?" Sam asked, feeling irritated.
Dean ground his teeth "I'll call Bobby…he can come pick them up."
"Wow Dean," Sam said, shaking his head "You're ridiculous."
"No I'm not," Dean said, grabbing for his phone "There is no way those angels are sitting in my baby."
. . .
"If one of you throws up in here, I swear you'll regret it," Dean said as he closed the back door beside the three archangels cramped together in a pile of flesh and feathers.
"I'll make sure she gets a good taste of me," Gabriel said, wiggling his eyebrows. He was to the left side, Michael to the right and Castiel in the middle.
"Get off my wing," Castiel snapped, shoving at Michael, who was trying to get comfortable.
Michael glared at him and shoved back, wincing when that pulled on his feathers.
Sam pressed his lips together to refrain from laughing as he sat in the passenger seat while Dean hopped into the driver's seat.
Dean's expression was one of irritation as he started up the Impala and reversed fairly quickly, causing groans from the backseat.
"Was that necessary Deano?" Gabriel groaned "I'm gonna puke if you keep that up."
"Don't you dare," Dean growled, slamming onto the gas once he reached the main road.
Gabriel chuckled and hissed out when Castiel cracked him in the back of the head.
"Stop trying to make him mad," Castiel said flatly.
"Move your stupid trench coat," Michael shot at Castiel when he felt it rubbing against his wings.
Castiel ignored him and tried to lean back but he felt mushed between his brothers. He slowly pulled his wings out from behind him and let them fall over Michael and Gabriel's laps. He sighed in relief from the release of pressure.
Gabriel arched an eyebrow at the wing on his lap. He then let lifted one of his own wings and let it lay over the top of the seats.
"Ow!" Castiel yelped when Michael plucked a feather out. He sat up and grabbed for Michael's wings, trying to yank his feathers out. Michael laughed a little as he shoved at Castiel's attempts.
"Knock it off," Dean snapped "Or I swear I'll pull this car over and go back there," he grinned stupidly at Sam, who just shook his head but he smiled.
"Ooh Daddy," Gabriel said, his voice sounding raspy "Don't tease me like that."
Castiel shot a glare at Gabriel, who just stuck his tongue out.
"This is going to be a long drive," Dean said, shaking his head. He turned the stereo on, blasting Stairway to Heaven. He smirked when the car became silent as the angels listened.
Sam rolled his eyes and stared out the window as they made their way to Bobby's.
. . .
"Aw, look at them," Dean crooned when he parked at Bobby's. It had become unusually silent twenty minutes before but it was hard to see in the backseat from the darkness outside. Now, with the light at Bobby's, he could see it perfectly.
The three of them were all actually asleep. Castiel was turned slightly to the side with his head resting on Michael's shoulder. Michael had his head over Castiel's while Gabriel was turned fully on his side with his head on Castiel's lap. All of their wings – six each – were sprawled around them in a mess of gold, black and silvery blue.
Dean grinned as he pulled his phone out. Sam had to take a deep breath not to laugh and wake them before the picture. Once Dean snapped the picture, he shouted "We're home!"
All three of the archangel's jerked awake, each crying out in pain. Michael slammed his head onto the window while Gabriel shot up, practically headbutting Castiel in the process. He rubbed his head while Castiel massaged his chin where he was struck.
"Dick," Gabriel said as he tried to open the door to get out of the suffocating vehicle.
Dean chuckled as he walked out as well, followed by Sam.
Castiel gasped when he felt the strange sensation overcome him again. He tried to climb out Gabriel's side but the door was slammed in his face so he quickly tried to climb over Michael's lap.
"What are you doing?" Michael asked, his voice filled with irritation as Castiel leaned over him, wings a mess on top of them. Castiel luckily managed to get his head out of the half opened door before beginning his fit of coughing up his grace.
Michael sighed, realizing he wasn't going to be able to move Castiel so he just waited, patting Castiel's back occasionally.
Gabriel laughed then instantly regretted the movement when he bent over.
"I'm going in…I'm gonna' get sick," Dean said, quickly pushed past Sam to get in Bobby's house.
. . .
"How long will they be sick?" Bobby asked, his mouth pressed in a firm line. He didn't want them there in the first place but Sam and Dean had a way of convincing him. He turned his eyes to the doorway leading to the livingroom where he could hear Gabriel's voice chirping along about something stupid.
"Just like a week," Sam explained.
"They better not make a mess," Bobby said, walking over to the coffee pot "And their gonna' clean my house when it's over."
Dean sighed and nodded, not bothering to mention the puked grace was more like a cleaning supply than anything.
"The first three days are the worst then we will get better as the rest of the week progresses," Michael explained, standing in the doorway "And the 'throwing up' only lasts the first 48 hours."
"Good," Bobby said "Now I'm going out to the store."
"Oh! Can you get me a nutrageous?" Gabriel asked, suddenly at the door "Oh oh! And some pickles!"
Bobby glared at him and shook his head before walking out the door to leave.
"Can't you just manifest some up?" Sam asked, gently pulling Gabriel into his arms.
"Mm yeah," Gabriel said "But it's more fun to annoy other people."
"Where's Cas?" Dean asked, wondering why his angel hadn't made an appearance yet.
"Sleeping," Michael said, standing more in the doorway as Gabriel and Sam walked into the livingroom.
Dean just stared as Michael blocked the doorway, his wings covering the entire floor around him. Feathers floated in the air around him and he started to slump. It was odd but he could tell just by looking at the angels that they were pretty damn sick.
"Can you move?" Dean asked, wanting to get in that room to see Castiel.
When the archangel just stared, Dean rolled his eyes and started to try and step over the wings blocking the path. Of course that didn't work out right. Dean gasped when he heard a yelp sound come from Michael and before he couldn't comprehend a movement, Dean was on his back, staring at the ceiling, his back and head throbbing painfully. Michael stood over him; his eyes darkened "Don't you dare step on my wings."
"Someone's cranky," Gabriel said from the living room. Dean groaned and stood up, blinking away the dizziness. Even sick that angel was fast. He glanced over to the floor where Castiel was curled into a ball, fast asleep.
"I think you guys need to eat some human food," Sam suggested "I'll go get some."
"Aw Sammy you're so good to me. I want pancakes with strawberry syrup please," Gabriel said as he stretched along the couch. He lifted the remote and turned the TV on.
Sam rolled his eyes and went to make soup for them.
. . .Four Days Later. . .
"I'm going to punch you in the face," Castiel growled as he tried to stand up after throwing the pillow back at Gabriel.
"I'm going to punch all three of you if you don't shut up," Dean snapped, trying to rest. It had been a hectic four days. He never would have known sick archangels could be so damn grumpy and annoying.
Michael sighed as he slowly began to stretch his legs over Gabriel's lap. Michael lay on one side of the couch and Gabriel on the other and neither of them had sufficient leg room. Gabriel narrowed his eyes at his brother and pushed his legs straight, moving Michael's back.
Michael scowled at him and pushed his legs back again, causing Gabriel to smirk. Both of them began to kick their feet, each trying to gain the space they wanted. Gabriel eventually gave up and curled his legs up to his chest.
Dean walked into the room carrying a bowl of soup for Castiel. He had come to like tomato soup…Dean wasn't a fan but Cas was.
"Hey Michael…your throat still hurt?" Sam asked, walking into the living room. All in all, that specific archangel had irritated Sam to no end and he knew it was a mean and cruel thing to do but he felt like messing around.
Michael nodded "Whats it to you?" he asked bitterly.
Sam ignored that and held up the ghost chile pepper "This is really good for sore throats. It'll numb it…something my dad showed me."
Michael inspected the pepper then held his hand out "I'll give it a shot."
Gabriel had to look away at the window to avoid laughing. He knew exactly what that pepper was and he was proud of his human for coming up with it.
It took a lot out of Sam to keep a straight face as Michael took the pepper and inspected it for a moment.
"Make sure you eat the whole thing at once for it to work correctly," Sam said as he took a seat on the floor next to Gabriel.
Dean pretended to focus on Castiel, who was staring at the TV screen, unaffected by what was happening in the room. Dean made sure to keep Michael in the corner of his eye. He wanted to see if angels were affected by one of the hottest peppers in the world.
Michael shrugged and popped the pepper into his mouth. He figured that of all of the humans, Sam was least likely to do something to him. He was wrong.
Gabriel then burst out in laughter when he noticed Michael's eyes widen drastically. Michael clutched at his throat as the feeling of swallowing lava traveled through his body. Once it landed in his stomach, he swore he was on fire. He could feel his blood start to rush, reddening his cheeks and ears and his ears even felt hot. He gasped and quickly scuffled his hands over the table to find something to soothe the burning.
Sam felt bad once he saw how badly it was affecting Michael. He knew how hot those peppers were. Dean once got him to eat one by shoving it into his burger when he wasn't look. When it came out later that day, Sam couldn't walk straight for an hour.
"I think I'm dying," Michael said, his stomach coiling from the pepper he ate. He had no idea what it was but maybe it was poisoned. He felt like his stomach was doused his holy fire.
"What did you do to him?" Castiel asked, alarmed by his brother clutching his gut and leaning over.
"Just a little ghost chili," Dean said with a shrug.
Castiel lifted his eyebrows "What is that? Is it made by ghosts?" he asked.
Dean chuckled and shook his head "No Castiel. It's not made by ghosts."
"Then why is it called ghost chili?" Castiel questioned, trying to stand up to make sure Michael was okay.
"Here ya go," Gabriel said, lifting up a glass of milk from the table. Michael yanked it from his hand and chugged it, breathing heavily afterwards. He glared at Sam, who almost flinched. He was sure if Michael was allowed to, Sam would be dead in a heartbeat.
"Ooh Dr. Sexy is on," Gabriel said, leaning back and placing his legs on the coffee table.
"Which one of you idjits has the black feathers?" Bobby's voice called. Her stormed into the living room with a handful of black feathers.
Everyone immediately turned their eyes to Castiel, who bit down on his lower lip and stared at the floor away from Bobby's irritated expression.
"You can see them?" Dean asked curiously.
"Yes, since they are no longer part of us, any human can see them," Castiel said.
"They're all over the bathroom. Go and clean them," Bobby ordered, throwing the feathers onto the floor where Castiel was sitting.
"I will," Castiel said with a nod. He winced as he slowly stood up.
Dean frowned at the pile of feathers on the floor where Castiel was sitting. Several of them were new. Dean glanced at the wings on his angel's back. Half of the feathers had fallen off completely and the rest were all pale colored and bent in different directions.
Silvery blue and golden feathers were scattered around the rest of the living room and couch where Gabriel was chuckling about Castiel getting in trouble. Michael was still trying to soothe the burn from the pepper.
"And clean up this room. I'm not your damn maid," Bobby demanded when he noticed the mess.
"I can dress you up like one," Gabriel suggested "I think you would make a sexy maid."
"Do that and I'm frying me some wings for dinner," Bobby said "What's wrong with him?"
"Sam gave him a ghost chili," Dean said with a laugh.
"Bunch of idjits," Bobby mumbled as he walked out the door to work some more. He was on phone duty for a few other hunters.
"Never got me my pickles!" Gabriel called after him.
"Shut up," Sam said, rolling his eyes.
. . .
So I know I didn't end this entirely right and its somewhat short but I'm not going to be able to write for like a day so I wanted to get this out to ease your minds instead of waiting. But I will have another chapter out in a day or so. :D
Next chapter will contain a little more sick archangels and some more pranks. O.o. Any ideas of things you wanna see them do while sick?