A/N: Okay, readers. Hello there.
Yet again I've taken forever to update and I am disappointed in myself because I'm pretty much fed up with writing this. I just don't really want to anymore and my sincerest, greatest apologies, but I'm not writing something I don't find fun to write.
So yeah, excuse me while I dump the crumpled remains of this story at your feet and trudge off in shame. :D
But I hate to do that because I know you guys really enjoy this story and the lulz it provides; I feel it's kind of my duty to you to keep doing something like this.
Thus I propose a sequel.
This sequel will be heavily modded, still based off gameplay experience and with more of a plot. I know, I know, TWiWWF with a plot? WHAT IS THIS ENCHANTING? I'll need to actually think of said plot, but it'll most likely have to do with whatever mods we end up choosing.
Yes, we. :D I'm writing this for you lot now as much as for myself and you're going to be a part of it. There's a link to my DeviantART page on my profile (which you can get to by clicking on my name at the top of the page, for those of you who don't know) and on that DeviantART page is a 'journal' entry listing a few mods I could use; I have been long decided as of about five minutes ago that I will be using Forge, so scratch any on that list that are for Modloader. :D NOBODY LIKES YOU, MODLOADER. NOBODY LIKES YOU
Of course, if you have any more mods to suggest that's always good and you don't necessarily have to comment on the journal itself; feel free to leave a review here with your opinions and suggestions and perhaps potential plot points (though those might be better to suggest via PM to prevent spoilers for your fellow readers :P) because I have no idea what I'm doing.
Also, I'll be starting the Aether story when the full version of the mod comes out in a couple of months or so. :D I've been stalking their Facebook page, never fear, and the Alpha release of it will probably be out by the time most of you are reading this. For once I might actually be glued to Minecraft for a bit. :D
Yes, this is a long Author's Note and I must apologise again for giving up.
Have what I had written so far, with a little bit added to make it more of a satisfying ending. :D
With a yawn I stretched in my bed and hit my head on the wall behind me. Ow. Muttering under my breath and holding my head, I swung my legs over the side of my bed and-
Looked up at Reverend Gaston.
Oh look, you have a visitor.
"Um," I said aloud, staring back at him. "Uh… hi?" He stared. "Good... morning…" He stared. I scrambled to my feet, tripped over my boots, stumbled around a bit and finally stood up. Turning to face the testificate, I opened my mouth to say something else, closed it again, nodded and pushed past him to head out the door.
Right, this time I was actually going to get logs instead of-
Instead of procrastinating like an idiot again?
Well, this is all about procrastination, so I wouldn't say that. Whistling (or at least attempting to), I strode off to the forest again, axe in hand.
Soon I had a great plethora of logs and saplings bobbed back and forth happily where trees had one stood. As I headed for the next tree, an odd dirt construction caught my eye and, surprised, I halted. It was shaped a bit like a… headless person. Well. What a pleasant image. Upon closer examination, I discovered that it marked a cave; oh yes, hadn't I placed this a while ago? It marked…
Your grave. Like everywhere else in the world.
A cave, you git. It marked a cave of some kind. Intrigued, I readied my sword and peered inside.
"Hey there," rumbled a zombie, leaning nonchalantly on a block of stone and grinning up at me. "You're looking mighty tasty this morning."
Very slowly, I inched away.
I then turned on my heel and scurried off to find another good tree…
A short while later I had fifty-six logs and a total of three apples, one of which was reduced to a core that lay discarded on the ground. Fertiliser. Not litter, fertiliser. There's a difference. It's organic.
It's still litter.
I wandered around a little while longer and soon another cave caught my eye; peering down into it, I saw a great few mounds of gravel and darkness. Lots of darkness. Because it was a cave. And caves… are full… of darkness.
Finished stating the obvious?
Not quite. It was then that I noticed a zombie walk onto a pile of gravel and begin to break-dance.
Ah, Minecraft mobs…
"A bat!" I cried joyously, scanning the cave until I spotted the little winged rodent fluttering around. It was ridiculously adorable.
"ACHIEVEMENT GET! 'Batty'!"
Oh my goodness, Triston, that's horrible.
"I know, right?"
"Really? I thought it was rather amusing."
I yelped and sprang forwards in shock at the sudden deep voice, tumbling head over heels and doing an incredibly graceful faceplant further down in the gravel. Footsteps gently sounded ssht, ssht, ssht on the sharp grains and strong fingers tightened around my neck and lifted me up.
"Hello there," said Herobrine, smiling as he brought me up to his face.
It was a tan, brown-haired face.
Not smoky and white.
"You're solid?" I choked out, eyes wide in surprise.
"Need more proof?" he queried mildly and threw me up in the air, catching me by the ankle and slamming me into the roof. I hung in his grip, dazed.
"Ow. Yeah. You might be solid," I wheezed.
Hey, only I'm allowed to do that, said Mélodieux indignantly, materialising with crossed arms and tail flicking. Herobrine promptly received a roundhouse kick to the head and dropped me with a yell, causing me to faceplant yet again; as I scrambled to my feet, sword in hand, I saw a smoky fuchsia form locked in battle with the huge white-eyed man.
Like a boss she locked her legs around his neck, flipped him over and promptly vanished into pink swirls in the air.
"Mélodieux?" I cried, shocked. Again. I made a good damsel-in-distress.
"I think this warrants a cackle. No-one can save you now, ahahahahahahahaha!" Herobrine cackled before dissolving into coughing. "Urgh," he grunted, bent double, "that wasn't a good idea."
"If you get to cackle," I reasoned, "I get to be a hero. I will avenge yooooou!" I declared, leaping into the air with incredible melodrama, sword upraised.
"Nope." My face met Herobrine's outstretched palm and I was thrown to the ground.
"You think?" he queried, mildly again. He then planted his foot on my head.
"I am your secret weapon!" boomed Triston, appearing out of thin air and tackling Herobrine sideways.
Then there was a glowing diamond blade sticking out of his back and he vanished wide-eyed into blue smoke as Herobrine got to his feet again.
"Right, now that's done," he said as I scrambled upwards also, "it's your turn."
Of course, I replied with the utmost valiance and bravado.
"Meep," I said quietly, holding my sword across my chest in a defensive position.
With a few strikes of his sword, I was standing weaponless and my blade was lying in two pieces across the cave.
"Really an expert swordsman, aren't you?" quipped Herobrine.
He ran me through.
I stared blankly at the Void. Triston floated on my left, fiddling with his shirt, Mélodieux on my right with her arms crossed and face impassive.
That went well.
"I wanted to be a secret weapon." He was pouting.
Maybe if you hadn't yelled it out like an idiot it would have been more of a secret.
"Well, you can't roundhouse kick. So nyeh," added he, poking his tongue out at her.
"Uh… can we… respawn, Triston?"
Seems this is over, then. I envy that lucky little world. It never has to deal with you again.
"Gee, thanks." Wistfully I examined a passing dust particle. It was kind of sad that this had to end.
Well, since you're too lazy to continue it, we might as well start over.
"Yep… starting over. Remember to check the DeviantART page and review with suggestions, readers," I said half-heartedly, waving at the distance. Fourth wall? What fourth wall? I see no fourth wall.
"We'd better end this on some kind of clever note."
Clever? We can be clever? For that matter, Flu can be clever?
Triston laughed. "Didn't think so."
"Thanks guys. Wow. Thanks.
"So… this has been The World in Which We Fail."
"Written by Mellifluousness."