Chapter Seventy One
BIG hop. And a bubble. For theonlykyla. And Edward.
Bella wasn't feeling well this morning.
Like she doesn't on most.
Still, though I thought that was supposed to be over months ago.
And wish it had been.
Or, even better, that she'd never been sick at all.
Never, ever would be.
Because seeing her sick kills me.
Seeing her suffer.
Because of me.
Like this morning. Because when she asked what I wanted for breakfast, I said french toast.
And then, because I did, Caden said the same. And because he hasn't had it in awhile.
Because she hasn't made it. Because the smell of vanilla is all it takes to make her sick right now.
Something I didn't know.
Or that maple syrup does, too.
Another reason she hasn't made it.
Or pancakes. So there would be nothing to pour it on.
But instead of telling me that... or our little...
To make us happy.
And in trying, only made herself sick.
Sicker. Than she was already feeling.
And once I figured it out, I told her she shouldn't have.
That if making us happy makes her anything but, she better never try to again.
And again, because I did, Caden said the same. And because he loves her.
More than she could ever know.
Definitely more than she does.
Our son loves me...
Thinks I'm a hero...
His favorite still...
She's everything to him.
He just doesn't have a word for it.
A name to call it.
She's just Mommy.
Which I think means the same thing.
Which is why he said he didn't like syrup anymore. Even though he does. Loves it...
He loves his mommy more.
And can't like something that would hurt her.
I'm really glad he doesn't know how babies are made...
Because then he probably wouldn't like me, either.
For doing what I did to her.
Yeah, I'm REALLY glad he doesn't.
And that she'll feel better long before he ever finds out.
Something he wants to make her now.
Picking flowers in my mom's garden.
To give to his.
Because they're pretty, like she is. Though not as much. Not nearly.
And because they smell good. Better than maple syrup. And he hopes they'll take that smell away.
From her and for.
Bella was lying down when Caden and I left the house.
But when we come back with her Please get better blooms, she's up. And sitting in our ferris wheel carriage. That, just like before, is in our bedroom.
"What are you doing, Mommy? Are you going for a ride?" Caden asks her.
"Yeah," she tells him, "Because I won't be able to go on the real one with you and Daddy today."
"We don't have to go today," I tell her, though I know Caden is looking forward to it. "We can wait until tomorrow, and hope you'll feel better."
"No... I'll be okay. We have to go today, because it's the first. And we always go on the first day."
Not always... not once. But I'm not supposed to think about that anymore. I'm supposed to let go. Of it.
"I picked you flowers," Caden tells her, and reaches them towards her, and my focus back on. "They smell good and they'll make you better fast. I know they will."
"Thank you, my precious boy," she tells him, taking them from his hopeful hand and burying her nose in them. "They do. And they have already. And you."
He beams with pride, just like I so often do, and gives her a big, but careful hug. Because he hasn't given her a crushing one since her belly started to look like a bubble again.
A beautiful bubble, just like the beautiful one that protected him.
Before he was here to protect her.
And climb into the seat beside her to do just that.
"I'm going to go on your ride with you, Mommy. So you're not scared."
"I was hoping you would," she tells him, and takes his offered hand in hers.
"Hold on tight," he tells her, "and don't let go."
"I won't," she says, and looks up at me with tears in her eyes.
Because I think maybe she knows...
At least at this moment...
How precious she is.
She already knew she was to me.
... WYCYE ...
Making your mommy feel better makes this one cry, Caden. You precious, PRECIOUS boy...