(A/N): Yep. I've created yet another story that I probably will not finish for a long time. But I've been wanting to do this for a long time, so it's okay. :P

I just wanted to put the truth out there, the exact answer for 'why I like killing characters'.


"You know," I said, waiting, "that I can help you. If we can set a deal up, you can win. And win. And win. And win. Over and over and over again. I already have a few for you to collect, if you want them."

The dark shape did not answer. It fidgeted in the corner, urging me to continue.

"Come, humor me," I continued. "If you're going to attempt to kill me, I can just use my vast source of power -" I waved the notebook, "- to kill you right back. A million times over. We can make a deal. I know we can. We have a common enemy we both want rid of. I wouldn't say enemy necessarily, though... there was a time and a place for you to lose and her to win. There were many times and places. But there were more when you won."

The dark shape, sitting in the corner, shot out a metallic appendage, easily dodgeable. I sidestepped it.

"I have my notebook right here," I said, showing it the notebook again. "And the pen. Or a pen, I should say... I could use a different one to kill you, but I like to use the same pen for everything I write."

The metallic appendage receded into the corner again. It waited.

"How do you want to die?" I asked it. "How do you want to be destroyed for what you did? How do you want to be punished?"

"Not at all," the creature said. "Please."

"Sometimes..." I replied, "No isn't a good answer."

I wrote something down in the notebook, and the monster collapsed in pain.

"If you think you'll be able to kill me, you should give up your hopes," I told it. "Now... why don't you show me what I want to see?"

The shadow melted away from the corner it was guarding to reveal a small door.

"Thank you," I said, turning the key. "I owe you."

"How about... your soul?"

"I can't accept that deal."

"Your death?"

"You never were one for good deals, were you? I could say that you were... but it would be a lie."

The shadows shifted, revealing a black button or two.

"My whole world is a lie, and you're complaining about my deals?"

"I happen to have my own motives, thank you."


"Thank you," I told the creature, once again wrapped in shadow. "This is a decent down payment..."

I looked around the room once again. It was an exact replica of what I had only seen in movies. I had longed to be in this room since before time began. And now I was.

I held up my notebook to the shadows. "So... how about we look at these drafts I have?"

The monster stared at me. "Go on," it urged.

"Take it," I said. "But I'm keeping the pen. And even if you tried to kill me, I am the only one that can make those pages reality."

The dark shape flipped through the notebook, completely full of dark black ink. Stopping on a random page, it read for a little while.

"I like death," it said. "But this is better than death. This is a thousand deaths."

"And there will be more than that," I replied. "I have already published a few. Would you like to collect?"

The shadow-being nodded.

I took a small pouch out of my pocket and dumped it on the long table. Around fifteen small, silvery marbles rolled across it and fell on the floor.

There was silence for a while, except for the clinking of the marbles and the glass rolling on the dark wood.

"You've been at this for a while, I see," it whispered, with the sound of barely more than an air current.

"The many 'yous' from alternate universes are excited about this. They gave them willingly, hoping that one who failed can have a happy revenge," I told the shadowy form, slowly growing more solid as it gathered up the marbles. "But they said there was a... condition... that they wanted satisfied."

The monster, fully healed by the collection, glanced up.

"Can you guess?" I asked the being, which looked enchantingly beautiful now - beyond human.

"Oh, yes," the former shadow-creature said, with a voice now as light and soft as a feather."They want me to try to kill you."

"It really is too bad that you can't kill me because of this 'deal'," I said. "I would have greatly enjoyed a foray into a dangerous alternate universe."

"Stop paying and I might try," the siren sang.

I laughed. "Oh, I won't stop paying any time soon."


"I will have them to you by next month," I said. "The payment."

"All five?" the beauty answered.

"All five. And then I expect my payment," I said, absentmindedly clicking the pen. The healthy monster's eyes followed the tip of the ballpoint very carefully.

"Fair is fair, even if I don't like playing by it," she said. "But… I thought about what you said earlier… what would you do if I could give that to you? How much would you pay for that?"

I thought it over for a little while. "Ten, maybe fifteen. It depends. By then you'd have twenty-five or thirty. I might actually be picking up another client soon, so it might be longer before I could get it to you."

The not-quite-human woman tapped her eye with a restored finger. "I can see things. I don't expect Elphaba to want very many souls, considering that she's dead."

"I've arranged things in an alternate universe… she wants the girl dead, she doesn't care about what happens in between. You want souls, she just wants the kid out of the way. Simple - well, not really, I guess... she does want me to retrieve a possession that the girl stole."

"If you pick up too many clients, I may have to kill you," the monster said, looking at her red fingernails with a disgusted look on her face, as if there was a spot where the polish had peeled away, or she had an ugly hangnail.

"And if you do, then the people I work for come and find and kill you. Self-security. Even if you try to be quiet about it, I will tell my schedule to all my clients, so that if I don't show up, they know who to kill. If you were going to kill me, you would kill me right now, before I go and pick up my second," I grinned.

"Fine, you win. I don't like saying that, but I had to. And how long would it be if I gave you the opportunity to relive it?" she asked, smiling slightly.

"Might be fun," I chuckled. "But if I'm gone for too long, it'll seem like I'm dead, and it will be longer before I can collect them."

"So I assume that you've got to go back to reality now?" the witch asked.

"I have to… Even if you can slow down time in this place, I only have eight hours in the real world to do what I desire without seeming suspicious," I told her. "Even if you can stay up for forever and not grow tired, humans do. I'll sleep this off some other time, and then get to work on what I can for you."

"How many are you going to get me?" she grinned.

"Ten. I figure it might be… inspiring if I went through with it," I explained.

"Time to leave," the creature said, shooing me out. Her appearance had already begun to change into something a little simpler and more human-like. "I'm expecting someone tonight. I figured you'd get me healthy, but… you gave me enough souls to retire already."

"Consider it generosity, for the souls," I said. "However, I don't like the fact that you're expecting… just keep me out of it and don't mention it, okay?"

The woman, now with a much more human-like appearance, nodded.

Taking out my notebook and clicking the pen, I wrote:

After a successful deal, I awoke in my bed, not quite believing any of the night's events actually happened.

And so it was.

(A/N): This is by far the most fun story I will ever write.

By the way, some of this is part of a mini-series I was writing on my other blog... look up 'Conversation' and the first third of it (before the first '...') or 'Another Conversation' and the second third (after the first '...' and before the second '...') and you'll find it.

By the way... References, references, references! Yes, there is a notebook, but it's not a Death Note; there was a name in there that points to Wicked (the book/musical) and/or The Wizard of Oz (the book/movie... duh); I think that's it...

Count this as a crossover if you want to, but it didn't really fit well in that category: the nameless protagonist remains nameless the entire time.

Give it a gender and pet name if you so desire.