Disclaimer: JKR owns the rights to Harry Potter and all canon characters. I, however, own the sweat of my brow and the shirt on my back and little else.
AN: Just a little plot bunny that popped up while I was writing the next installment of HPatHD. Just thought I'd jot it down and after reviewing it, I decided to post. This story takes place during Fifth Year. I haven't decided whether to keep it going or not, but there will be another chapter, with lemon meringue, hence the rating. I will not abandon HPatHD, my main focus, but I wanted to put this one out there for a change of pace.
Hermione Jane Granger was beyond livid, she was downright utterly stark-raving mad with jealousy! That bloody bint better watch herself! How could she? Is barking mad? She honestly thinks that she's going to just swoop in and steal my Harry- well he would be my Harry if I could just give it the stiff upper lip and put on my big girl knickers…but those are honestly semantics. Okay, so he's not mine per say, but- oh bloody hell! Now she's got me sounding like Ronald bloody Weasely! ARGGGGGH!
At the last thought, she kicked a throw pillow across the Gryffindor common room. Harry James Potter, her best friend, aka the Boy-Who-Lived, was unlike anyone she had ever known. Although he never really had talked about it much, Hermione was certain that he came from an abusive home, where his non-magical maternal Aunt Petunia and her husband Vernon Dursley treated him in such an abysmal fashion that she was of half a mind to damn the consequences and just hex them into oblivion. He was kind, loyal, decent and sweet, not to mention utterly drop-dead hurt me sexy! His untamed raven hair and deep emerald eyes held a keen analytical mind. Although he may have been a tad under-sized when they had first met on the Hogwarts Express four years prior, he had filled out rather nicely as of lately.
Harry had mentioned a crush on Cho Chang, the sixth-year Ravenclaw, and aforementioned object of Hermione's ire, before the Yule Ball, Hermione was hurt by this news, but did her best to try and be happy for Harry. Hermione had secretly hoped Harry would ask her to be his date to the Ball, but instead ended up with Viktor Krum, whom although he was sweet and very hot, had the intelligence of a turnip. Then, she thought Harry might decide to make his move when he saw Krum try to kiss her that night, but again Harry simply looked hurt and walked away. That had been a horrible time for Hermione, as Harry had avoided her for almost two whole weeks following the Ball.
Hermione dutifully trudged on playing the part of the concerned best friend all summer, whilst they stayed at Grimmauld Place, yet still Harry did nothing. Hermione attributed it all to his upbringing and inability to express love or even romantic interest. She knew deep inside that Harry had to have feelings for her too! Then they got to school and Cho Chang started telling everyone before the prefect's meeting of how she was going to land herself Harry Potter this year. Of course, Hermione had cried herself to sleep upon finding out Harry had asked Cho to Hogsmeade, but her current state had to do with the warning Cho had given her to stay away from Harry. As if she could ever come between us! Who was the one person that stood by Harry through all of his trials and tribulations in the wizarding world? Who was the one who solved the logic puzzle that helped him stop Quirrelmort? Who figured out that the monster of Slytherin was a basilisk and it was using the pipes to get around the school? Who was it that provided the time turner that helped him save Sirius and Buckbeak? Who helped him prepare for each event during the Tri-Wizard Tournament? Who defended Harry every time the rest of the school and wizarding world turned upon him? Who helped him start the DA? Who helped him stay abreast of every examination and homework assignment? Who helped him recover from the nightmares when Voldemort was inadvertently invading his mind? It certainly wasn't Cho Bloody Chang for Merlin's sake! It was me! She doesn't deserve to receive his affections, hold his hand, and look into his deep emerald eyes as he gazed upon her face. She shouldn't be the one to feel his soft lips pressed tenderly upon hers or be embraced by his strong masculine arms! FUCK! This is shite!
Cho had taken a moment to corner her in the library earlier.
Hermione was diligently going over a list of new spells to work on for the DA meeting, when she was interrupted by someone approaching her work table. She quickly shuffled her papers and grabbed the nearest book off the table, carefully perusing the page as if she was looking for a reference for revising. "Look, it's Mousy Granger," the intruder announced, her voice identifying her as Cho Chang. The Ravenclaw beauty then addressed Hermione, "Granger, we need to clear a few things. You see, Harry asked me to be his date for this coming Hogsmeade weekend, and I, of course, accepted. Most witches would die to be in my place, but they all remain in secret, citing that they could never intrude upon YOU. Well, I, on the other hand, recognize that a mousy little bookworm such as you could never have a wizard like Harry honestly take a fancy to her, so I will say this only once: stay away from Harry Potter if you know what's good for you."
Hermione flushed with anger as she looked her adversary directly in the eye, her hand touching the wand in her robe pocket. She smiled politely and in a serious tone responded, "Well, Chang, I am glad Harry finally got you to agree to a date. Merlin knows he tried last year, but you only had eyes for Cedric, you know the bloke who was slain by Voldemort after Harry was kidnapped via portkey during the final task of the Tournament last year? The one you acted as if he was the love of your life. I'm happy you are moving on. Just remember one thing, I've been there for Harry since the very beginning and I'll be there long after you are just a horrid mistake. Now is there anything else you wished to speak of with me or was warning me away from my best friend, when not even being paralyzed by an eighty meter basilisk could do so, the only thing you wished to do right now?"
Cho narrowed her eyes as she too flushed with anger, "I just wanted you to know that I am well aware of your pathetic pining over my boyfriend and just wanted you to know that by this time next weekend Harry will not only be the Boy-Who-Lived, but he'll be the Man-Who-Shagged-Me-Cross-eyed. Once he's had this, you will never stand a chance, Granger. Who would ever want to fancy a roll about with you, especially, when they can have me? He'll forget all about you. Oh, maybe Weasely would take you, he's used to hand-me-downs and left-overs."
Cho and her friends laughed cruelly as they walked away leaving Hermione near hexing them into oblivion. She quickly gathered her things and rushed back to Gryffindor Tower, afraid she would either attempt to track the slag down or break into tears of fury if she remained in public view.
Just the thought of Cho Chang in Harry's arms made Hermione erupt into a string of violence and cursing all over again. To be honest, the thought of Harry with anyone other than herself was not a very pleasant image for Hermione to consider, but Cho had surpassed the likes of Bellatrix Lestrange as the most undesirable pairing for Harry to date. Cho's little confrontation in the library just solidified Hermione's position: come Hell or high water, Harry James Potter was going to finally realize what everyone else had already figured out long ago. He and Hermione Jane Granger were meant-to-be, and Hermione would not rest until Harry was completely and utterly hers!
It was finally Hogsmeade weekend, and Hermione was nervous. She got up early that morning and headed to the girls' showers. She let the warm water ease the tension in her muscles as she went over her plan. It was simple really, but Hermione was never one to rule out unforeseen complications, so revise she did. She would wait for Lavender to help her do her hair and make-up and then Pavarti would help her with an outfit. Once she was completely ready, she would head to breakfast, and remind Harry of their appointment with Rita Skeeter. Harry would then remember his promise and would cancel his plans with Cho. Once in town, she would encourage Ron to checkout Honeyduke's, whilst she asked Harry to accompany her to the bookstore. Once alone, she would confess her true feelings and Harry would admit that he felt the same. A deep passionate, first kiss would follow and then viola! Cho Chang would be history!
After subjecting herself to the Gryffindor Gossip Twins and their tender mercies for an hour, Hermione finally descended the stairs to the common room, only to find that Harry had left a few minutes ago to meet up with Cho. Hermione rushed out the portal down the hall and made her way toward the Great Hall, where she encountered the boy in question as he stood surveying the room in search of someone. Wow! He looks like such a dish!
"Morning there, Harry. I heard you had a hot date today with Cho Chang. Don't forget that we have to meet with Rita Skeeter this afternoon at three o'clock in The Three Broomsticks," she said as he turned and gazed upon her. His eyes drank in her figure and the outfit she had let Pavarti pick for her. Harry blushed and stammered, "Err-ah wow, 'Mione! You look absolutely smashing today! Any particular bloke you fancy riling up in that? If there is, I'll have to meet him and impress upon him the importance of treating you as a right gentleman should treat a lady. Simply breathtaking!"
Hermione blushed at the compliments Harry had given her, before responding, "Thank you, Harry you look marvelous today as well! I think Cho will be beside herself trying to keep her hands to herself today."
Harry smiled as he spoke again, "Hold on, today is the Rita interview meeting? Shite! Okay, 'Mione. I'm sure I can convince Cho to come along with me. I did promise her the whole day, but surely she won't mind since this is a special circumstance and all."
Hermione cursed inwardly as she tried not to show any of the chagrin she was feeling, "So you think there will be enough time fro a date before the interview? I was hoping we could get there first, you know, scope the place out before the meeting, that way we'd know if Skeeter was planning any of her nasty tricks or not."
Harry frowned for a moment, "Hermione, I can't just very well break a date with Cho at the last minute! That would be terribly awful of me and downright rude! Like I said, I'm sure she'll be fine. Besides, it's not as if she'll expect me to take her to Madam Pudifoot's or some rot like that!"
Hermione again barely concealed her disappointment and frustration as he responded, "Calm down lover boy! I was just reminding you of our appointment. If you want to spend time with Cho, then that's your prerogative. I'll just have to check everything out myself, no big hassle."
Harry was about to reply when he saw Cho enter from the other side of the hall. She saw Harry standing next to Hermione and immediately made a line toward them. She smiled and once she reached them, she slipped between them giving Harry a hug. "Harry! I'm so excited about our date today! I can't wait to get there! We have to visit Gladrag's because I need to checkout the new fabrics. I heard they got some Acromantula silk in last week, and I was thinking we could get some matching robes. I really want to visit Madam Pudifoot's too!" She broke the embrace and gave Hermione a dirty look as she continued, "Come. We can sit at my table for breakfast and then get a move on. Oh, Granger, you don't mind do you?" Not waiting for a response, Cho ushered Harry to her table, shooting a satisfied smirk at Hermione who returned a dirty look of her own, before Harry shot her an apologetic smile as the older witch dragged him away by the hand.
That bitch! I am going to wipe that bloody smirk right off of her face!
Hermione made her way to the Gryffindor table and sat down heavily, her thoughts becoming increasingly homicidal and dark as she contemplated various methods of offing Cho. Poison would be too obvious and easily remedied…pushing her off the Astronomy Tower would be too messy and again traceable…I wonder if I could ask Fred and George about helping me? I am fairly certain a hair removal potion would work wonders…or perhaps she could ask Dobby about charming another bludger…no, that would take too long to enact…a combination of Polyjuice and a few nasty hexes during DADA against Umbitch…
"Hello! Hermione! Are you daft? I asked you to pass the gravy!" Ron interrupted her thoughts as he sat next to her with his plate piled high with various breakfast items. Hermione scooted down a seat and passed the gravy boat. She had no desire to be struck by errant food particles that were certain to fly as Ron "the garbage disposal" Weasely treated everyone to the most disgusting display of human gluttony that many would ever witness. Ron began stuffing his face in his usual revolting manner, as Ginny approached with a grimace clearly on her face. Ginny rolled her eyes at the familiar sight of Ron eating as she sat across from Hermione, "Sooo…Harry is going to Hogsmeade with Chang huh? That bloody bint had the nerve to tell me off yesterday after Michael and I returned from the library. She kept bragging about how she was going to 'make a man out of the Boy-Who-Lived' and then proceeded to warn me off of him! I may have had a crush on him in the past, but I'm with Michael now! I told her that harry would never want a slag like her and she pulled a wand on me! I Bat-Bogeyed the hell out of her though! You should have seen it! It was epic!"
Hermione giggled and was about to respond, when Ron tried to chime in, "Ahyee fnk e nds a gud shg."
Ginny picked up a biscuit and tossed it at him, striking him in the forehead, "Manners, you big oaf! No one wants to get showered with bits of chewed food nor can they understand you when you try to speak with a mouth full!"
Ron swallowed and responded, "Oi! Watch it Gin or I'll…"
Ginny fingered her wand as she answered, "Or what? You know Fred and George have been teaching me extra spells. Try anything and I'll hex your bollocks off and spell them up your nose you git!"
Ron darkened and flushed with anger as he bit off a retort and simply answered, "I said, I think it's great that Harry has found himself a bird! He needs a good shag, Merlin knows it would do him a bit of good after all this Umbitch business."
Hermione responded, "Ronald Billius Weasely! Just because a witch consents to a date does not mean he is either looking for a shag as you so crassly put it nor does a stressful situation warrant it! You have the manners of a rutting troll!"
Ron spat angrily in response, "Why do you care anyways, Hermione? It's not like anyone fancies you anyway! Blokes like me and Harry look for witches that don't spend all their time with their nose in a book! Maybe you should try asking Neville or…"
Ron slid off the bench unconscious from the blow Hermione had struck him with her book. Fred and George, who had just witness the tail end of it all, quickly levitated their idiot brother and floated him from the hall after saying, "Sorry about all that Hermione, you know how stupid Ron can be, and for the record if we weren't with Angelina and Alicia, we'd chat you up. You're really turning into a right lovely young witch, and you look rather fetching in that getup. We'll handle the cleanup, go enjoy yourself."
Ginny shook her head, "What a tosspot! I can hardly believe I'm related! You know the twins are right." Ginny leaned in and whispered, "He'll notice you soon enough. Let him get this Cho business out of his system. I know he has feelings for you, too."
Hermione blushed and just continued to eat whilst Ginny changed the subject to the upcoming Quidditch match. She quietly nodded and ate her breakfast whilst reading her book, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.
Soon enough, Hermione found herself trailing behind Ginny and Michael Corner, with Neville Longbottom by her side. Ginny and Michael were holding hands and flirting whilst Neville and Hermione just walked in comfortable silence, soon to be joined by Luna Lovegood. The odd little blonde Ravenclaw walked along with the group with a dreamy smile on her face, her pale blue eyes clouded as if she were not altogether there. She turned to Hermione and said, "Cho Chang is not going to last very long. The Humperdingles and nargles are clouding Harry's mind. I think maybe the shift in the winds over the town will blow them all away, and he'll see her for what she is."
Hermione normally was annoyed with the odd witch's comments but today she just shook her head and responded, "You know Luna, I think you finally just may be right."
They visited a few stores, lingering in the bookstore longer than any of the others. Hermione purchased some tomes on defensive shielding and combat spells with the gift card that Harry had given her for her birthday. Luna purchased a book on rare magical creatures and arithmancy, and Neville decided to purchase a book on advanced herbology and another on potions ingredients and their interactivity and common plants that one could harvest them from and/or substitute. Hermione asked him if he minded lending it to her when he finished as she planned to help Harry revise for his Potions and Herbology OWLS, and thought the last volume in particular would be extremely helpful.
Ginny and Michael just went into a dark corner and began snogging. Hermione became jealous. Why couldn't Harry have just blown off the date? Then that could have been he and I snogging. Snogging Harry….
The group made their way toward their final destination when they saw-or rather, heard a commotion, "…wrong! I'm not breaking our date for anyone else, Cho! I arranged a meeting with a reporter so I can get the truth about Voldemort out there! She helped me arrange it all, and it would be rude not to show!"
They could hear Cho answer, "Well, you always seem to be blathering about her! Hermione this or Hermione that! I'm your girlfriend for Merlin's sake! Can't I have one bloody date without having to hear you talk about another witch?"
Part of Hermione was elated to hear that Harry thought about her so often and valued his conversations with her enough to remember the content and be able to speak of it. She listened as he answered, "What are you on about? As if I enjoyed hearing you bleat on and on about Quidditch and fashion? It was like dating Ron with a set of tits! We have absolutely nothing in common and quite frankly going into Madam Pudifoot's was worse than getting held under the Crutiatis Curse by Voldemort! I felt as if someone needed to remove my stones just for being there!"
Cho blanched and responded, "Remove your stones? I can arrange that right here and right now! Honestly, what in the bloody hell was I thinking? The choice was plainly clear, stay with me and finish our date or run off with your mousy little mudblood bookworm, who will never be able to offer you what I can?"
Hermione cringed as Mt. Harry erupted, "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? YOU STUCK UP PRISSY BITCH! Hermione Granger is a muggleborn! She is brilliant, kind and any bloke would be right lucky to have her fancy him! If this date has taught me anything it is that she is ten times the witch you could ever be! I'd be proud to be her boyfriend! At least with her I can have an intelligent conversation during which I don't have to worry about whether the color teal clashes with my skin tone! And for the record, I've dueled Voldemort himself on occasion, so believe me when I say if you ever call her that term again I will not hesitate to treat you like a Malfoy and hex you into the next millennium! This date is over, now get out of my sight you pompous uppity bitch, before I make you regret the day you ever met me!"
Cho burst into tears and called out as she ran away, "Too late! I already have! I hate you, Harry Potter! I'm glad You-Know-Who wants you dead! My only regret is that he botched the job that night!" THAT BLOODY BITCH!
Ginny and Hermione both had wands out and sent multiple curses flying at the last comment, each striking Cho simultaneously. Giant bats of mucus began erupting from Cho's nose while her face sprouted boils and her hair began falling out.
Hermione ran up and began grabbed the older witch by the robe and threw her to the ground, striking her about the face repeatedly whilst shouting, "How dare you say that, you horrible piece of filth! Just because he doesn't want you, does not give you the right to say such a terrible thing! Once you get out of the hospital wing, you better not let any of us see your face after this, you bloody stupid bint!"
Harry pulled Hermione off of Cho's chest and spoke quietly in a tone that was more terrifying than any of his previous shouting, "You so much as breath a word of what happened today to anyone, and I promise you, you will disappear. No…scratch that…OBLIVIATE!"
Harry then whispered in her ear and sent her on her way. Harry quickly cast a chain of silent spells into the dirt, obviously clearing his wand in case of the priori incantem. He then collapsed to the dirt, his face in his hands sobbing in tears of shame and humiliation. Even though the fight had begun loud, Ginny had cast a few privacy and silencing charms, so no one heard or saw anything that happened. Hermione pulled Harry into a close embrace whispering, "Shhh. It will be okay, Harry. I am so sorry…"
Harry sniffed before casting a quick cheering charm and a cleaning charm on his face, "It's fine, really. I'm not sure how much of that you witnessed, but I think we need to have a much delayed conversation after the meeting, you and I. She really was beastly! All she could do was talk about herself and fashion and Quidditch. I couldn't get a bloody word in edgewise! I even went into that bleeding poofter haven, Madam Pudifoot's. Honestly? How could a bloke feel like snogging in a place like THAT? She tried to kiss me and I excused myself to the loo. When I came back she looked annoyed and then I noticed the time and tried to break the date, as at that point I wanted to carve my own spleen out with the bloody teaspoon! That led us to the conversation you lot just witnessed. What in the bloody hell was I thinking? She was a bloody nightmare!"
Hermione just shook her head and let him rant before she timidly hugged him close one last time. "I look forward to that conversation, Harry, but first business, then pleasure."
Harry grinned and responded cheekily, "So you tell me there will be pleasure involved, Miss Granger? What kind of bloke do you take me for?"
She lightly slapped him on the shoulder, "HARRY! You prat! It's just an expression…although…we'll just have to wait, watch and see!" With that Hermione winked at him and sauntered toward the Three Broomsticks her hips swaying in an almost provocative manner in what she hoped was an attempt to flirt with him.
Peeking over her shoulder she smirked as he merely stood in place gawking where she had left him, "Well, are you going to stand there and catch flies all day or are we going to meet with Ms. Skeeter sometime today?"
Harry blushed and recovered, "Yeah. I'm coming; don't get your knickers in a twist."
Hermione smirked raising an eyebrow before she responded, "And what makes you think you might have an affect if any on my knickers, Mr. Potter?"
Harry choked, and cleared his throat, "I think we both know the answer to that question, Miss Granger," he added cheekily as he caught up and gave her a quick swat on the arse as he passed beside her.
Hermione squealed, before chasing after him, "You prat! I'll show you!"
The pair ran laughing as Hermione chased him about the street, in an attempt to return the favor, looking every bit the couple that everyone else had thought they were.
AN: So what do you think so far? Please be kind and review.