So, here is another Ziva/Malachi one shot. I am very happy with it. Especially since it wasn't meant to be as long as it is or go where it went.

I started writing this a few weeks ago and left it after a few sentances because I couldn't work out how to write it... Then last Sunday night at around one in the morning I was going through all my stories and found it.. and kept writing... Yes it took a week for me to write it but I have been working on my other fics too :)

Shout out to SSAPrentis. Thanks :)

Disclaimer: Not Mine.

Currently; her housemates were out. It wasn't the first time this had happened but the thrill of being caught never left. Rarely would Malachi wonder over to Ziva's shared apartment with the intention of sex. They usually saved it for his small house on the outskirts of town. He lived with no one which made it more relaxing, with no care of anyone walking in on them - since he lived alone; the chances of that were very slim.

But sometimes Ziva would feel mischievous; today was one of those days. She hadn't been expecting him to turn up but when he did, she didn't hide the fact that she was in the mood to be reckless. He wasn't going to decline. The thrill of being caught was exciting to the pair.

Ziva had her eyes closed but he could tell she wasn't sleeping by the way she held the sheet around her body and her breathing patterns. He was simply watching the shadows creep across the floor slowly as the day continued around them.

"Do you ever think about the future?" Malachi suddenly asked.

"Occasionally," Ziva replied with her eyes still closed.

"Where do you see yourself in ten years," He curiously asked. Ziva opened her eyes and turned her head to meet his eyes.

"Dead," She icily replied but there was no hostility behind her words. She was twenty-one, her career had barely begun, and he was amazed by how calm she had admitted it - almost as if she had already came to terms with it.

"Dead?" He questioned. It wasn't the answer he was expecting.

"I'm twenty-one. I have been in Mossad for over a year now and I have already had a few close calls. It is a dangerous job. If I make one wrong move then that would be the end of me,"

"You don't think that your back up would have your back,"

"That has nothing to do with it. We all are told to and do work as a team; and yet it is human nature and what we are trained to do is care for ourselves first. How about you?"

"Still working for Mossad," he paused as he thought, "Or the army,"


"Why do you want to work for Mossad now?" He turned the question back on her.

"I want to protect my country," She said.

Silence settled over them for a moment before Ziva moved. He turned and looked at her as Ziva moved from his side to hover above him, "You know what I really want? My dream? The ideal life?" She asked.

"No," He replied as he placed his hands on her hips.

"I said that I want to protect my country - which is true. But a big part of me wants something peaceful," She said as she bowed her head and kissed his chest before she move a little further down his body and folded her arms over his chest and rested her head on them.

"I want to be away from violence, death, destruction. I want to be somewhere where my life is not about where I am going next or who my next target is, even if for a while. I want to live to see my thirtieth, fortieth, and fiftieth birthday - let alone my twenty-second. I want to be able to wake up every morning and not assess the threats that will be made against me. I want to be able to have the prefect body where my skin will not be marred with scars by the time I am twenty five. To get married and have children," She said.

"Why can you have any of that?" He asked.

"My sister was right, I let him manipulate me. I let him make me his weapon. I have allowed him to expect I will be at his beck and call. I cannot go back and forget the stuff that I have seen or the things I have heard. Now he has told me about a mission that will be given to an operative. But I want to take it. He told me first because of... Personal connections to them. It will be dangerous but I know a women. She will believe me - after all she does owe me," Ziva replied, "I have already made profiles of the people that will be included, and from what I understand they all seem to have their heads on pretty tight. They are not stupid. For me to be able to succeed in part of this mission I have to associate with them. They will not miss a beat," Ziva said.

"We are talking about your father and brother? And the allegations an American agency uh, NC... IS has against him, yes?"

"How do you know?"

"I was told by someone the other day. I thought it was a rumour. What has you worried?"

Ziva debated whether or not to tell him. She decided to, "Apparently he as gone rouge. From what I understand he has held two MEs and a federal agent hostage in the autopsy room of NCIS and then continued to kidnap the agent. But Eli has him as a mule; he is only maintaining his cover,"

"What does the mission entail?"

"The termination of Ari Haswari," She said.

Malachi sat up in her bed so that Ziva was straddling his legs, "You want to take an assignment that entails you to kill your brother?" He asked somewhat shocked.

"No, I want to take the mission to prove his innocence; if anyone else was to take the mission they would kill him without looking at it objectively. Don't you understand; he wouldn't ever do that? He wouldn't betray me like that," She replied begging him to see what she saw from where she was.

"Objectively? You believe that he is innocent when there is a possibility that he isn't," He challenged.

"Yes; I would be more objective then someone who already believes he is guilty. It is easier to prove someone's guilt than prove someone's innocence once you have your decision made," She explained.

"What will you do if he is innocent? You will be going against a direct order,"

"I will move and change my name. If I come back with a 'failed' mission then he will shoot me, or send me on a suicide mission," She said.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I want you to tell me that it's stupid. Ari is not a terrorist and everything I told you before is possible," Ziva asked. She wasn't usually one to seek assurance; but she was in a tough position. She was about to choose between he loyalty to her father and her brother.

"You know I cannot promise that," He stated as he wrapped her arms around her bare back.

She studied his face for a moment longer, "No matter what happens; you will remain here?" She inquired as she buried her face into his neck and kissed it softly.

"Yes," He replied before kissing her. She kissed back, both hands going to his hair as she held him to her.

He understood why she felt she had to go. Being his control officer and his sister she felt the need to protect him.

From his understanding they had met in Paris before they were to leave for DC. But from word of mouth floating around the employees of Mossad; Ari had left a few days earlier - leaving Ziva alone in the motel room and a rush for her in the morning; with a fifteen minute drive to the airport and who knows how many hour long trip to the capital of the US.

She had been gone for around a week. She hasn't made any contact to him personally. But he knew that she was going to be upset when she arrived home. He didn't know details and he wasn't allowed to know but he had suspicions about the worst parts.

She knocked on his door and when he opened it he was surprised to see Ziva with slightly bloodshot eyes as she stared up at him speechless. In that moment his suspicions were confirmed.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It turns out I was wrong about Ari," She stated as she walked past him.

"I heard,"

"He killed an American Agent and took shots at other employees. Then he went to Agent Gibbs' house and was going to kill him too. I was there; he was saying that he was a monster and then comparing Gibbs to our father. He lined the shot and I killed him first. A shot to the head. I am a horrible person," She added.

"You are not a horrible person. You were following orders," Malachi argued.

"No, I wasn't," She replied.

"What do you mean? You killed him - that was the assignment?"

"Yes, but while I was sitting there listening to him confess everything all I could think was that this man was jeopardizing our relationship with America - I could not let that happen. This man was using the whole of Mossad to help the terrorists groups one of which killed my sister. That this man did not deserve to live after murdering one innocent person who dedicated their life to protecting people, and almost killed two other women who had nothing to do with anything aside from he knew it would get under Agent Gibbs' skin. You know how people say that they experience 'out of body' experience; well, I guess you could say it was like that. I did kill him believing that he was someone else. It was not until afterwards that it suddenly hit me and I realised that I shot my own brother," She replied.

"You were following orders," He insisted.

"Then why do I feel so horrible. I have learnt to detach myself but I cannot do that with this," She stopped; she looked as though she wanted to say something else but left it out.

"Because he was your brother; whether you it was you or another agent you who killed him you would feel the same. You were his control officer you would have been read into cases that your agents are part of or included in. You would have known about it anyway. You feel bad because the sister side of you tells you that you should have warned him but your other side - the side that you say allows you to detach yourself told you not to. That side won until after the decision was made,"

"Are you trying to make me feel better or worse?" She asked.

"I'm trying to make you understand," He replied.

"I understand. I killed my brother!" Ziva said.

"What are you leaving out Ziva?" He asked.


"You are lying,"

"I am not,"

"Yes you are. You're a good lair Ziva, but I went to school with you; I know how you lie,"

She sighed a little, "I have asked my father for a liaison position at NCIS,"


"Remember the other day when we were talking and I said I wanted to get away from all this. Being at a federal agency I will still be able to get the adrenaline rush and everything I love about my job; but I will not have to wake up thinking about who is next I have to assassinate," Ziva explained.

"You would give up your whole career to move to another country?"

"I'm no giving up my career; I'm modifying it. Anyway, I will still be part of Mossad - they still pay my wages I will just make NCIS and Mossad work more closely. I am going to do this whether you like it or not. If you do not like it then I think it is best to leave what ever we have, here," She said, "Or leave it open," She added.

"Clean break?"

"I would prefer to," Ziva whispered.

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