After the Finn ordeal, everybody's minds are on what Quinn was made to confess and how Finn seems to have lost his mind. With all the craziness going on, Rachel suggests moving their talk to the afternoon of the next day since her dads won't be home in the evening. In the morning however, Rachel feels restless and heads over to Quinn's early, hoping to go shopping together. After an adorable encounter with Quinn singing and dancing to The Jets, her hopes become reality and the girls head over to the mall where Quinn happily helps select a wardrobe ready for New York. As Quinn goes to put several bags in the car, Rachel buys one more item that she thinks might be useful at a later time and finds a place for them to eat. During lunch they relax and talk a bit about the past and some of their irrational fears. Rachel then suggests to head home as their talk is still very much needed and better suited at home.
Chapter 14 The Talk
Not too long after they got home, Rachel and Quinn found themselves sitting in the Berry's living room. As predicted, Hiram and Leroy had wanted them to show every item of clothing they had bought. Luckily, they both very much approved and so Quinn had been appointed as Rachel's personal styling coach from then on. While Rachel denied the need for one, she eventually relented by admitting that Quinn's fashion sense was indeed impeccable. At six, both men left for their business party, leaving the girls alone at last.
"So …" Rachel says after the few minutes of silence that passed after having said goodbye to her fathers. Both girls realize that now that they're alone, there's nothing left to keep them from their talk.
"So …" Quinn answers, not knowing what else to say.
"I guess we should talk, huh?" Rachel asks. She hadn't expected to feel this nervous. When she had told Quinn the day before that they could talk, she hadn't realized how big of a talk it would be. Or maybe she did, but she hadn't admitted it to herself yet. But now, there's no more room for denial …
"Yeah, I guess so …" Quinn answers.
Rachel goes to sit on the couch and taps the seat next to her, indicating for Quinn to join her.
"Yesterday was … scary." The brunette starts. "I never expected any of that to happen. I was so scared. I had no idea he was capable of all of that. Sure, he said that he was acting, but the rage in his eyes when he hit you … I doubt he'll ever be that good of an actor."
Before Quinn could react, the future Broadway star continues.
"I am so very sorry for how he treated you, Quinn! I can't believe he actually hit you and said all those things …" The emotions she was feeling at that moment were a lot stronger than she had anticipated. The tears that came with it, surprised her as much as they did Quinn.
"Heyhey, it's okay … It's not your fault, Rach!" She quickly engulfs Rachel in a hug and holds her as close as she can. "It's really sweet of you to get so angry for me, but you're the one that got hurt the most. And he's still making you feel guilty …"
"I don't care that he hurt me," she answers as she pulls back enough to look the blonde in the eye again. "He was just lashing out because I broke up with him … I can understand that on some level. I sort of expected that. But hitting you? Forcing you to admit something like that? I hate that he directed so much of his anger towards you!" Her voice goes softer towards the end of her passionate words as she wipes the few tears that were left.
Quinn felt grateful in that moment. She felt grateful for having found Rachel. She had a lot to be angry for in her life. Everything that happened with her parents, Beth, the car accident … But despite all of that, she knew how lucky she was; because she has someone who feels that strongly about defending her.
"About what I admitted …" She could tell that Rachel wanted to say something first, but she stopped her by putting a single finger on her lips.
"Let me speak first, please?"
Rachel nods and they both face each other on the couch. Quinn takes hold of Rachel's hands and their gazes lock. The entire world around them fades, as they both prepare for what they both knew was coming.
"Rachel, there is no excuse for how I've treated you in the past. I know you've forgiven me and that you want to leave it be, but I feel I need to say this. I'm not going to excuse myself by saying that I treated you so badly because I was in denial of my feelings for you. No reason is good enough for the hurt I've caused you. I want to promise you, right here and now, that I will never hurt you like that again! You are the single most beautiful person I've ever met and I'm sorry for ever making you question that beauty or doubt your strength and courage."
Rachel smiles a soft smile and stays silent, assuming there's more to be said before it's her turn.
"Now, about my confession … I just want you to know that I don't expect anything from you. You know how I feel about you and that's not going to change anytime soon. Right now, I just want to be your friend and I just want to support you in any way I can."
"Okay. Can I speak now?" Rachel asks, the cheerleader can't help but think about how adorable she sounds.
"Yes. You may speak now," she then answers with a smile.
"Thank you for your apology. You know I'm big on forgiving and I meant it when I said before that I had forgiven you. But I would be lying if I said there aren't still moments when I think back on the first few years of high school and how sad and alone I was. I forgave you before because I realized that you were just as sad and alone as I was. And I'm forgiving you now, because now I see the real you and I know how bad you feel. I also know that that's not you anymore."
"Quinn, during these past few months, you've been everything I always dreamed you'd be. You've supported me, you were honest with me and you were you. The real you. And because of all of this, I've started falling in love with you …"
This time when Quinn starts to interrupt, Rachel presses one of her fingers to her lips, silencing her just like she had been before.
"I know it's way too soon and there are a lot of things to consider. I'm also sorry it took me this long to realize. But I wanted you to know how I feel." After a brief pause, she continues. "You know, it's not supposed to be like this. I mean, we're teenagers. We're supposed fall in love every other week and make mistakes and be heartbroken and just … you know, be young and stupid. Part of me wishes I could just let go a little, just not think about everything so much and just, let it happen …"
"Let what happen?" Quinn asks, agreeing with everything that was said.
Rachel's eyes are locked with Quinn's. Their lips are moving closer and closer together. They both feel incredibly nervous, but they both want to just be young and stupid together for a little while.
When their lips first find each other, something inside them ignites. There's a heath, taking over their bodies. Soon enough, there's barely an inch separating their bodies. They cling to each other, like they're holding on for dear life. Tongues are battling for dominance and hands are roaming every touchable area. Just as Rachel is trying to get a good hold on Quinn's shirt, the blonde breaks the kiss and pulls away.
As they both try to catch their breaths, they let their thoughts take over again.
"Euhm …" Quinn starts, trying to find the reason why she stopped but not finding the words.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that …" Rachel states, pulling back a bit more so that there's now half a couch pillow separating them. "I euhm …"
Having found her reasoning, the blonde quickly waves away the apology and reaches out for Rachel's hand, turning their faces towards each other once more.
"That kiss was … amazing! I've been wanting to do that for so long. Really!" She says, trying to reassure the diva. "But it's too soon. I don't want you to kiss me because you want to be young and stupid. I don't want to worry about whether I'm your rebound. I don't want you to worry about me wanting to prove my sexuality. I don't think any of those things are true, but right now we don't know what we are to each other."
"Well, we're already friends, right? Really good friends?" The brunette suggests, saying what they at least know.
"Yeah, right, of course." She stumbles as she tries to understand what she could mean by that." Is that what you want? To be friends that kiss? Like friends with benefits?" Her reluctance to that sort of relationship is clear, though she did try to hide it. She was almost regretting stopping this from going further …
"What? No! Not at all! I don't want us to be friends."
"Oh ... Wow! Euhm … Okay, I guess." The blonde answers dejectedly, assuming that she's ruined things by overthinking it. "I guess that means that I should …" She starts to say, but Rachel is quick to interrupt her.
"I don't want to be just friends, I want to be more than friends."
Seeing the sparkle return to the blonde's eyes, she realizes that she was in time to prevent her from running away. It's one of the things she knows she needs to be careful about.
"You're right, it's too soon for us to be kissing like that. I guess I just didn't want to think. I just wanted to, you know … do." She explains, again disappointed in her lack of elegance in her choice of words.
Quinn laughs, relieved that she's wasn't losing the brunette because she sort of rejected her. Every inch of her wanted to continue that kiss and explore her body and touch … everything. But she respected Rachel too much to let things progress that fast. She wanted to do this right, which meant that they had to keep their teenage hormones in check.
"I get it Rach, believe me! I'd love nothing more than to be young and stupid with you. But at the same time I wanna do this right. We deserve to do this right." Quinn explains, hoping she can understand what she means. She's well aware of their age and the chances of them lasting that come with it. And that's exactly why she doesn't want to rush things.
"Okay, so how about we just put in a movie and just hang out together? I mean, potentially epic romantic interests can do that together. Right?" The diva suggest, only semi joking in what she thinks they could be together.
"Absolutely!" The blonde agrees, choosing not to react and secretly hope that she's not too far off with that statement.
A few hours later, they are both laughing their asses off while watching "We're the Millers".
"Oh my god, that is insane!" Rachel exclaims, wiping the tears from her eyes from laughing so much.
"Seriously, this is hilarious! That is one lucky kid!" Quinn adds, referring to the scene where Kenny is kissing both Rose and Casey.
Rachel glances over at the cheerleader, curious about her comment.
"You're saying you'd want to trade places with him?" She asks. She has a feeling this could easily lead way to some harmless flirting and talking about hot girls. They're not doing anything wrong with that, right?
"Oh definitely!" Quinn responds easily, unaware of Rachel's little plan. "Who wouldn't want to make out with both Jennifer Aniston and Emma Roberts?"
"You're right about that, Jennifer is really sexy!" The brunette states, trying to take advantage of the blonde being so gullible.
That comment was a bit too obvious though, and so Quinn directs her attention away from the screen and towards Rachel.
Two can play that game, she thinks.
"Ooh, absolutely! I've always thought she was beautiful. There's just something about her, no matter which role she plays. It's always the perfect combination of sexy and beautiful." She lets the comment linger for a moment, before adding "That's something you two have in common."
The singer hadn't expected things to turn that easily, and she blushes despite herself. It was not going to be easy to stay mature around each other with declarations like that flying around. It doesn't take long for her to recover though.
"I always liked how she can put so much grace in her characters. Even the once where you don't expect it. No one radiates grace more than you though." She even adds a little wink at the end, just to make sure she got the message.
Both seem to agree at that point, that they're going to love throwing quips like that at each other.
The second movie they choose to watch, is A Walk to Remember. After 20 minutes or so, Rachel receives a text. Quinn watches her closely as she looks it over and sees how she's considering texting back. Eventually she puts her phone to the side and continues watching. The blonde can sense that something is bothering the smaller girl, but she doesn't pry. She knows that Rachel will talk to her when and if she needs to.
A bit further in the movie, things start to become a little sad. They hadn't talked much during the film, but as things progressed, they had snuggled closer together. Quinn was taken by the sadness that she finds in Rachel's eyes. She didn't know whether it was because of the movie, or that whoever send that text had triggered something. She just pulled Rachel closer to her in order to comfort her and make sure she knew she wasn't alone. The brunette happily snuggled closer and entwined their fingers. She obviously needed the connection, which Quinn was more than happy to provide.
As Landon goes above and beyond to fulfill as many items on Jamie's list as he can, Quinn feels inspired. That list was created because she wanted to make the most of the time she had left. It made the blonde realize that their lives were just beginning. They still have time to make so many dreams come true. And at least one of those dreams was very much within their reach.
At the end of the movie, Rachel was having trouble keeping her eyes open. Quinn didn't want to go to bed yet, she'd rather end the night on a happy note. But she could tell that the brunette wouldn't be able to stay awake through another movie.
"I guess we should head upstairs, right?" She suggests, making sure not to sound disappointed so the brunette wouldn't feel too guilty.
"What, why?" Rachel responds, obviously fighting her yawns. "I don't want to go to bed, I wanna stay up all night and talk to you." She barely gets the sentence out, the fatigue was wearing her down.
"I would love to talk all night, but we both need to be awake for that." The blonde jokingly responds. "It's okay, we have plenty of talks and movie nights to come. You're tired, we can just go to sleep."
"Mm, 'kay." Rachel agrees far too easily, which convinces the cheerleader even more that she would not be able to stay up much longer.
They both head upstairs, after Quinn tries her best to clean up a bit so the Berrys wouldn't come home to a messy house. They manage to get up the stairs, the blonde watching Rachel like a hawk to make sure she doesn't fall back. The brunette finds just enough strength for her shortened evening routine and soon they're both ready for the night.
Rachel is completely under the covers, eyes already closed and breathing evening out. Quinn looks over at her from the bathroom, wondering what to do next. Normally she would crawl in next to her, but she's a bit reluctant. She'll want to hold the diva close to her, maybe place a kiss at the top of her head and dream away of times to come that they'll spend together. But after the events of the evening, she's not too sure. Their spare bedroom is just down the hall and she knows they keep it ready for guests. As she's deciding on whether or not to go to the other room, the barely awake brunette whispers: "Quinn? You almost ready?"
Not being able to resist the cuteness, she quickly crawls under the blankets.
"I'm here Rach, you can go to sleep now." She whispers softly.
Rachel pulls her close to her and relaxes into the blondes arms.
"Mmm, kay. Good night Quinnie." She whispers, voice heavy with sleep.
"Good night Rach." She whispers back. She snuggles a little closer, places a kiss against the back of her head and closes her eyes. As she softly drifts of to sleep, she can't help thinking that this is how she'd want to go to sleep every night.
It's morning. She can tell by the way the sun enters the room. Her thoughts drift back to the night before. She was happy to hear how much the other girl cared. She had been very scared in the lead up to their talk, but she was happy they now understood where they stood with one another. That kiss though …
As she looks over to the girl next to her, her eyes find the lips that touched hers, just hours ago. All she had to do now, was move closer and they could have that connection again. They could feel that fire … She doubts the entire girl would mind being woken up like that.
But … she can't! They promised to take it slow and not let the hormones take over. They need to take their time if they wanted to do things right.
Why does it feel like she was a lot better at convincing herself yesterday than she was now? Could it be the morning glow that her future girlfriend is showing?
As she looks over to the figure at her side, said figure begins to stir.
"Why are you awake?" She asks, sounding beautifully hoarse, the night still clearly present in her voice.
"I was just thinking … and sort of contemplating kissing you again," was her honest answer, which surprised even herself.
"Well then, what's stopping you?"
Taken back from the quick reply, her eyes find those lips again. They're inching closer, feeling the pull take over for them. But before the connection is made, there's a loud noise coming from downstairs. A door is slammed, voices are being raised and there are heavy footsteps on the stairs. Suddenly, the bedroom door is thrown open and Finn has caught them seconds before their lips could lock. He marches over and grabs Quinn by the hair while yelling obscenities. Rachel is scared out of her mind again as she tries to loosen the grip he has on her.
Her fathers appear at the door and join the struggle. Sirens sound in the background, but with a sharp blast from an elbow, Rachel goes crashing to the floor and everything goes black.
Rachel wakes up with a start. It takes her a while to find her bearings, but when she does, she comes to the realization that it was all just a dream. Quinn is peacefully asleep next to her. They've shifted during the night, so she's no longer in her embrace. She feels terribly lonely, not being in her arms so she takes a deep breath, presses a kiss to her forehead and snuggles closer to her again. Before she closes her eyes, she places her hand in one of Quinn's. That way, she hopes, the touch of her hand could prevent anymore nightmares invading her mind.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the movies mentioned.
It's been way too long, I know! I hadn't planned on not updating for 6(!) months … I hate it when other writers do that, but I can understand it. A lot happened during those months! I fell in love, I was heavily betrayed, I picked myself back up off the ground and the last 2 weeks I was able to make several of my dreams come true by going to America for 2 weeks :-D. Luckily, I found some time to write there and so I can finally give you a new chapter that I've been working in the past few months. Writing is my passion, it's something I don't want to give up, so I'm trying to find a way for me to ensure I put more time in. For those still reading, thanks for your patience!
Any comments or advice is always appreciated. I hope those commenting they wanted the talk to happen already and that smooching should be happening, are somewhat satisfied with this chapter. I don't tend to plan a whole lot in advance, that's part of the reason that the development is so slow. But I do like the flirting and the smooching so it will probably keep happening from now on.
Who do you think sent that text? And what could it say? How badly do you want their hormones to take over some more? :-P
Thanks for reading! Next chapter will be a lot sooner, I can promise that!
Until next time