A/N Hello again. This isn't AU and I'm very proud of it because all those ideas that come to my mind are from another universe... I really like that one, though, even if I have all in all one conversation and I know how much people hate reading something with no speech. Anyway, I know most of you came here because of Lust so without further ado I present you Lust... and the other sins.
7 Steps To Heaven
"Lust is the craving for salt of a man who is dying of thirst"
Most fairy tales didn't start with sex, especially not drunken sex, but then again this wasn't a fairytale. Zabuza wasn't a fucking prince and Haku wasn't and would never be a princess, which was proven in the same night their story begun. They had just come from a mission, Zabuza himself had killed 3 men, Haku not far behind with 2 deaths. With veins filled with adrenalin, they went to celebrate in a little pub in the first town that came across their path.
The next few hours after that were missing from Zabuza's memory but he could vividly recall the way Haku was squirming in his lap on a dark field as he thrust in him forcefully. The little moans that fell from the boy's lips, the way he screamed his master's name echoed in the older man's dreams for a long time. His face, one of true bliss, when he froze on Zabuza's cock and shivered as he came with a shout was sewed on the back of the other's eyelids for weeks! And Zabuza could still feel the way the younger then slumped forward, so exhausted and pliant in the older man's arms, with the proof of his desire cooling rapidly on his firm stomach.
It hadn't been his first time, nor Haku's, the Lord only knew how many times the boy had slept with someone for a mission, but it had been... special and Zabuza remembered every second of it. And maybe years later he would have the courage to admit to himself that he had sobered the moment Haku had kissed him the first time. But for now he could cling to his excuse like a dying man- to a stick.
"The glutton is much more than an animal and much less than a man"
Forgetting about that night and continuing with his life was easier said than done. He had promised himself not to let anything change between them and yet there he was ogling Haku's behind every time he bent down, remembering how he tasted when the younger licked his lips and imagining what that mouth could do to him if it was wrap...
No, he shook himself from those thoughts. Using Haku for things like that was a "no" in his books. It would harm their relationship, the trust, the synchro... screw that, what if the tool actually believed he cared for him and started disobeying? What if they got distracted in missions because of the sexual tension? Zabuza wasn't that big fan of dying, mind you.
Yet, it was so easy to fall into that blissful routine. He just had to do it one more time, fail in fighting temptation just once and that was all he needed. Suddenly, he found himself in a whirlpool of sex and lust and need. They would be having dinner in a little cozy pub and Haku would say something or devour his sausage just that way and the next thing they both knew they would be rubbing against each other in the bathroom. He couldn't stop, he couldn't control himself, he wanted the boy every second, everywhere to the point of obsession and it made him feel so weak... just for a second and then he only had to glance down to the boy moaning softly his name to feel his strength again.
"Pride costs more than hunger, thirst and cold."
He should have known better. He should have paid attention and recognized the signs earlier. Haku had been wandering with that lost look in his puffy red eyes and had been flinching every time Zabuza reached for him for far too long. Not that the older man worried, he cared, true, but only when he knew that something was wrong and as far as he was concerned Haku was just having a rough week. However, when the younger boy almost killed them on a mission a line was written in the sand.
Zabuza promised himself to let his tool sleep at least 8 hours every day, supposing that it was all because of lack of sleep. For a few days he fawned over Haku, something so uncharacteristic to him that he himself was surprised, but gave up as soon as he realized that he was just making it worse.
He was too blind to see that the smile Haku gave him for his attempts was like something you saw through foggy mirror -tilt you head and it disappeared, and too prideful to realize that he was the problem, not the solution.
"Sloth and Silence are a Fool's Virtues"
Just once did he ignore his rule. It had been a very long and tiring day, the mission had been harder than they'd thought and after finishing they had dragged themselves toward the nearest motel with last energy. And just as Zabuza had thought the day couldn't get any worse they'd been told that the only thing not occupied was an apartment, consisted of two rooms joined by a door. Now, Zabuza had never been clingy but he'd never slept good without Haku in his sight either. But it had been a horrible day and without complaining he'd slammed the money on the counter and took the keys.
An hour later, freshly showered, in new clothes and rested enough to think of something else besides the death bodies they'd ditched in the snow, Zabuza's mind wandered to far far more interesting things. He glanced at the clock, it was a little after 11. Surely, Haku wouldn't be asleep so soon, but even if he was, the man smirked, he could always wake him up with those kisses on his neck the younger one so much enjoyed.
In a second he was already standing in front of the door that connected his room with his tool's and he pressed the doorknob gently. He was starting to like the idea of waking Haku up so he was doing his best not to make any noise when he stepped inside. To his dismay, however, the other was already awake- he could see him curled in a ball, his form shaking. Was he cold, Zabuza asked mentally and his question was answered immediately. A broken sob left Haku's mouth and he curled even tighter around himself and all that the older man could do was stare in wonder.
He didn't know what to do. Was that because of him? His name, choked out in a husky voice, confirmed his theory. He felt dizzy and as if his head was about to explode. All those times Haku had whimpered in his sleep next to him came to his mind, every flinch and every shudder was brought back to his memory. He was powerless, tiredness and laziness overcame him. He couldn't, didn't want to deal with that, not now when he couldn't even gather his thoughts. He shook his head and closed the door as silently as he'd opened it.
That night he couldn't sleep a wink and it had nothing to do with the fact that Haku wasn't next to him
"Nothing sharpens sight like envy"
Zabuza growled in the back of his throat. Haku didn't have to be so close to the man, did he? Nor that slide of his hand across that bastard's thing was absolutely necessary. He was just a second away from going over there and snapoing the neck of the man who was ogling Haku like he was a piece of meat he'd have for dinner when he remembered they were on a mission. Haku wasn't touching the man with so much gentleness for pleasure.
But the smile was real... he'd been with the boy for enough time to know he was actually enjoying himself. He was happy with the bastard as he hadn't been with Zabuza for a long time. And the older man had tried. He hadn't said anything after the accident in that motel room but he'd tried to stay away from that sinful and deadly body. With not much luck, he admitted, but he'd managed to survive a whole week without sex... once. But even after those sacrifices he'd made Haku was still reserved, afraid. He gulped, was he really that addicted to that soft pale skin and those little hands and those breathy moans and... Apparently.
The bastard said something, Haku giggled and Zabuza bared his teeth. He wasn't going to put up with that anymore. The fucker was just an informant, they could always find someone else. With a fast step he approached the couple and then proceeded to drag Haku away by the collar of his yukata, not even muttering an apology to the other man who was watching the scene with wide eyes.
"But the child's sob curses deeper in the silence than the strong man in his wrath!"
Halfway to the motel room they were renting, Zabuza realized that he had made a mistake. The faint sobs from behind him, so loud and piercing in the dark silence, made his stomach turn. He was still angry and jealous and still wanted to go back and kill the man who had made his Haku laugh but he also wanted to turn around and gather the boy in his arms. He was a fool and a coward, inexperienced in that strange feeling that was slowly but surely overcoming him. He ran.
He sped up until the badly disguised cries no longer reached his ears and then just stop. Froze. He hated himself, despised himself like he'd never loathed another being. He wanted to hit and curse and break... himself. He swung his fist toward the tree on whose branch he was standing and then again and again until he felt blood dipping down his knuckles and then some more.
"Zabuza-sama?" The voice reached his ears and rung inside his head like a beautiful melody. The branch shook as it took the weight of another person and Zabuza felt cold fingers wrap around his fist. "You shouldn't hurt yourself," Haku whispered, cradling the bloody arm to his chest and dirtying his yukata in the process.
Zabuza stilled and then slowly turned toward the shorter boy. The not-so-well-dried tears were still shining on his cheeks and his lip was bloody red, perhaps from his attempts to muffle his sobs. And then Haku smiled and every imperfection disappeared and nothing except from his sheer beauty mattered. He looked like an angel, broken and begging to be fixed, and Zabuza allowed a tiny smile to slip on his lips.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, holding Haku's gaze as he tried to make him understand that he regretted it. Everything. And that he wouldn't do it again. Never. That he hurt because he had made the other hurt. He wasn't good with words, but Haku wasn't just anyone. He understood and his smile widened. Zabuza's, too, got amazingly bright when the shorter male leaned forward and pressed a small kiss on his cheek.
"Greed in a good cause is still greed."
And after that it just got better and better. True, Zabuza hadn't slept with Haku for over a month, not because the younger didn't want to but because he himself was afraid he would ruin their relationship. The previous time it had been all about sex and now he tried as much as he could to make it about them. Now, they weren't a normal... couple... it still felt weird to say it, in the first step of their... relationship... because they knew everything about each other, but that didn't bother Zabuza one bit. They still needed to go to fancy restaurants, to picnics where they just laid on the grass and stared at the sky or even to theatres. Moreover, they didn't even need the excuse that they were doing it to get to know each other. It was clear, at least in the older man's mind, that his only reason for initiating those kind of things was to see the brilliant smile that lit the other's face and made his eyes twinkle.
He even started considering giving up their job and finding a little, quiet and peaceful village in which they could spend the rest of their lives. He'd changed, he was well-aware of that fact, and it was even more clear to him that he didn't care at all. Sure, at the beginning it'd bothered him how clingy he'd become and how greedy for the younger's attention and time, how possessive of him, needy. As if there was something wrong with him when the other wasn't with him or when he wasn't the centre of his world. Now? Now he was content with knowing that Haku accepted him just the way he was.
Yes, he could be greedy, lusty, jealous, prideful, lazy, angry and gluttonous all he wanted and Haku would still be with him, no matter how much it hurt him. It was entirely different question if he wanted to be like that.