Butterfly

Takes place after 5x17… just mindless Dair fluff!

"Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you" Nathaniel Hawthorne

The light is soft, creeping in through the spaces between the curtains, a slim sunny streak running across the bed at the height of their thighs, the rest of the room still dark enough to feel intimate; her favorite time of day. She looks at him, his hair out of control on the pillow (he is a week or so away from Sideshow Bob status), his face content in REM, his closed eyes moving occasionally in dreams. For a split second she hopes that those dreams include her, that they star her as the main character, then quickly rejects that idea for being too girly and downright idiotic. She smiles a little at him, he is handsome asleep, not that she would tell him, he is pretty conceited as it is, and her hand itches to touch his stubbly cheek, to trace his nose and lips with her fingers, but she stops herself. He is not her first boyfriend and not the first boyfriend she watched sleeping, there is something in sleeping men, a certain vulnerability she enjoys. He is different from Chuck in that sense, he is more likely to let himself be vulnerable when awake, less dramatic and less "epic", so that she doesn't need these moments to erase the epicness and see the man underneath it all. Dan is still Dan, awake as well as asleep, but she enjoys it nonetheless. He makes these enamoured eyes at her, when he thinks she isn't looking, and sometimes even when she is, and she just does not feel comfortable with him seeing her look at him that way. It is like relinquishing power and if there is one thing she learnt in her years on and off with Chuck it is that power is of the utmost essence in a relationship. Whoever has the power, is the one least hurt when everything falls apart. So she doesn't allow herself to look at him this way, to let her eyes give her away… but when he is asleep, he doesn't know how she looks at him, can't see her face give away how much he really means to her. And so she doesn't mind waking up at the crack of dawn and letting herself bask in this new love.

It is the third night she has slept over, not in a row of course, and they have not yet slept with each other (in the biblical sense). Not for a lack of wanting though, it just didn't happen. The first night he wanted to take it slow ("Humphrey, you are such a girl!" she'd said, but enjoyed just exploring each other slowly, carefully, to be honest, not that she would ever admit it to him), the second night a few days later she needed to talk more than she needed sex and they spent the night doing just that, talking until dawn, and yesterday, when she came over as a surprise visit after spending the evening with her family they were both hyperaware of the fact that Rufus and Lily were just a thin wall (or rather a thin garage door) away. So they just cuddled. She is starting to hate that word. Cuddle. Ugh. By now it is pretty much a synonym of "sexually frustrated", she thinks and moves a little to cuddle up closer.

His arm adjusts and holds her tightly against him, a slow smile spreading on his face as awareness reaches him. She bites her lower lip to stop herself from grinning too widely at his sleepy smile and finally allows her hand to reach up and softly touch his lips. He purses them and kisses her fingertips then turns his face down to face hers, opens one eye just a little and whispers, his raspy voice breaking the silence. "Mornin'. You are still here." "Where would I be?" she whispers back, letting one hand reach into his hair and twirling a curl around one of her fingers. He shakes his head a little. "Still surprises me… you… here, in Brooklyn." She rolls her eyes and with a smile playing around her lips answers "Well, it is not by choice, Humphrey. These sheets alone make me feel like running! But the upper east side has Serena in it, and she might say she is ok with this but I am sure she doesn't want to witness it first hand. So…" "So if you want to be with me, you have to stay here overnight?" he says smirking and she grumbles "Don't feel so special", then props herself up on her elbows and puts her lips softly to his.

He kisses back for a few moments but then sits up abruptly, making her fall sideways off him, pouting in disappointment. "Sorry Blair, without coffee and a waffle I am utterly useless in the morning. Plus, morning breath! My toothbrush is calling." She sighs, but is a little hungry herself (she has after all been awake for quite some time by now), and a waffle and coffee do sound appealing, so she watches him put on jeans and a t shirt and try to flatten the "fro", before leaving the room with a last look and half-smile thrown her way, then sits up and scans the room for her clothes. The ball gown she was wearing yesterday when she came over after going to the opera with her mother does not feel quite appropriate for a Brooklyn breakfast, so she grabs one of his shirts (plaid, why is everything he owns plaid?) and listens intently at the door. No noise coming from the living-kitchen area, Lily and Rufus must be out, in which case her black underwear and a sexy (haha, not) half undone flannel shirt down to her thighs, will be more than enough clothing. It may even lead to that long awaited sex, if she plays her cards right, she thinks, and undoes one the top button, exposing some décolletage. She combs through her hair with her fingers to get it more into "carefully disarranged" and less "grubby and unruly", then leaves the room, and rushes to the bathroom. She washes her face and then after a few moments of back and forth decides to use his toothbrush, which is still dripping. They share kisses all the time, this is not all that different, she tries to convince herself, while trying not to gag at the idea of that filthy thing touching her teeth. Once she looks a little less disheveled (though painfully plain, with no make-up and no hairbrush anywhere in this damn bathroom), she goes into the kitchen where he is brewing coffee, and his eyes pop a little when he sees her, half naked standing in his kitchen. She still feels a little funny (and very special) when he gets this look, like she is the most incredible sight ever, and so to cover that she gives him a little twirl and tells him "latest fashion, flannel chic!"

He grins, leaves the coffee alone and comes over, kisses her, carefully first, then more and more passionately and lifts her onto the work surface, which is cold on her bottom and makes her shudder slightly. On second thought, the taste of him makes her shudder even harder. "Ugh, orange juice and toothpaste… terrible, Humphrey" she exclaims moving her face sideways, so that his next kiss turns into a smudge across her cheek and ends by her ear. He whispers his apology into it and softly bites into her earlobe, and almost as if they were moving on their own accord her legs cross behind his back and pull him closer, her hands bury themselves in that terrible hair of his and he gives a small moan, which quickly turns into a groan when the door opens and Rufus and Lily walk in and stay by the door, looking surprised.

"Good morning, Dan. Blair." Rufus chirps, cheerful as ever and she pushes Dan back, hops off the surface and pulls the shirt down, in the hope of covering more than just the top 2 inches of her thighs with it. "Morning," she says in a small voice and Dan adds "We were not expecting you back this early." Lily clears her throat and says "well, that was very obvious, Dan." Feeling the heat rise in her face, Blair rushes past them and into Dan's room, where she lets herself fall face forward onto the bed, shaking softly; he follows her and sits down right next to her, pats her back and says in a soft voice "Don't be upset. We weren't really doing anything." She turns around, till she lies on her back and keeps convulsing in laughter. When he realizes she wasn't crying, but laughing he joins her, lets himself fall back and lies next to her and both laugh so hard tears are rolling down their faces.

"Most embarrassing moment ever. In my entire life! And I had a church full of royals and paparazzi listen to me proclaim my love for someone else while at the altar!" she manages to say between bouts of hysterical laughter. He turns over to his side, wipes the tears from her cheeks and says quietly "to think we didn't… do anything yesterday because we thought they might hear" he grins widely "and now they have seen us trying to do it on your kitchen counter, next to the waffle iron" she ends his sentence and they both laugh hard again, hard enough to make her feel a little lightheaded and to make her abs hurt. Harder than she can ever remember laughing.