My friend asked for a sappy shishi fic. But this came out instead...

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+ + +

"Hey, my name's Ash, and I'm gonna be a pokemon master!" He grinned up at the
girl, expectantly.

+ + +

"-That's- your pickup line?!" Brock exclaimed.

"Shut up and let me tell the story," Ash snapped.

+ + +

She blinked a few times. "Uh... yeah," the pretty blonde said, rolling her eyes.
"Like, didn't people stop doing that sort of thing when they were like, twelve?"

Ash scratched his head, slightly dismayed. "Not if they're actually going to -be-
one."

She narrowed her violet eyes. "Right," she said, stretching out the word. "Well,
you go on with being the very best that there ever was, or whatever. Hey..." and
here she pulled a pink envelope out of her purse, "could you get this to that
Spanish hottie I saw you traveling with?"

"Spanish?" Ash said, puzzled.

"Maybe he's from the islands. God, he's so exotic and sexy! You'll give the letter
to him, won't you?"

"Uh... sure." He pocketed the note in his jacket.

"Thanks! You're a sweet little boy," she smiled, then wandered off.

"Sweet... little -boy-?" Ash repeated, looking distastefully back at her.

+ + +

driving on the right
by erin ellis
one: sweet

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Brock tried and failed miserably not to laugh. "Guess there are such poor judges
of character -- to find you sweet," he snickered.

"Thanks a lot for the support," the boy said, frowning. He looked thoughtful for a
bit; then retrieved a small piece of pink paper from his jacket pocket. "This is
for you, Mr. Spanish Hottie."

Brock smirked, snatching the crumpled envelope and ripping it open in one fluid
motion. "I knew it!" he crowed, beginning to laugh disturbingly.

"What?? -You- gonna date her now? That's all that seemed to come out of this," Ash
said sullenly.

"Date her? Hells no. That same girl wouldn't give me the time of day last time we
were in Vermillion. But I knew that once she got a look at the new and improved
Brock the Rock" -- here he flexed, unimpressively, Ash felt -- "then she'd be all
over me like white on rice.

"Or like you to her last time you saw her," Misty interjected, walking to the
pair. What are you two loiterers doing?"

"Well, I was just showing Ash--"

"Nothing," Ash interrupted, elbowing Brock in the belly. Retaliating, the older
teen grabbed him and started whaling on Ash with a combination noogie-tickle
attack, which Ash found himself unwill-- unable to escape from.

"Call mercy... call mercy!"

"Never," Ash grunted, batting behind him, trying to catch Brock off guard.

Misty stared at them, nonplussed. "Don't you guys have better things to do than go
at it all day?"

Now that was an interesting thought. Except without the noogies. But... with
Brock? Ash's face began to redden. "Uh, uh," he pontificated.

"Feeling left out?" Brock said with smoothness he hadn't when he was fourteen.
"There's plenty of noogie-love for you too," he said, dropping Ash.

"Touch me and I'll kill you," the redhead threatened. The brown boy backed off.
"What are you so happy for?"

"Got another one," he taunted, flashing the offensively pink envelope. "I believe
that makes... thirty? Or $150?"

"Damn you."

Brock's grin widened. "Sucks to lose, don't it?"

"Shut up." She scowled. "Bet you won't get the next one."

"You're on. $175 for me."

"Ooh..." She turned to Ash. "Geez, I can't see how you can stand to spend time
with this loser bonehead all the time."

Ash blinked. "Brock is always nice to me if I'm nice to him, Misty," he said
helpfully. "Ow!" he said as she punched him in the arm. "Hey!"

"Don't worry, Ash," Brock nodded sagely. "Girls only hurt the ones they love."

"In that case, I'd better never touch you again," she said, stepping on the teen's
foot and smacking him upside the head.

"Told you the ladies couldn't keep their hands off me," Brock said weakly.

Misty hit him again. "I'm going back to the room. Try to be at the Pokemon Center
in time for the conference registration," she sighed.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Ash murmured, waving as Misty turned to leave.
He'd been looking forward to the PokeCon all year. Still, something seemed wrong.
Chewing at his lower lip, he turned to his older if not wiser companion. "Hey
Brock, what's Misty all sore about?"

He gave a thoughtful look. "Did your mom ever tell you about the birds and the
bees?"

"Professor Oak told me about the pidgeys and the beedrills. I caught some!"

"...Guess not. Well, lets just say that there comes a time in every woman's life
where she goes through-- a change. This change takes place every month, and when
it does, the girl can get very-- irritable."

"Well, gee, then Misty must 'change' everyday!" Ash exclaimed.

She hit him for that, too.

"I am -NOT- irritable!"

"Of course not..."

"Uhh... my head..."

+ + +

Well, -that- had been unproductive. Ash frowned. He wasn't sure that he wanted
Misty angry at him so much anymore. Well, sometimes it didn't seem like it could
be avoided. But if he had a choice, he'd rather she be angry at him for things he
did himself, not that Brock did. But then again, probably Brock had had to take
the brunt of things Ash had done in the past.

No, that wasn't it. The problem was that he hadn't gotten to finish with Brock. He
wanted-- he needed to know-- about women. Because-- well, heck, if someone else
asked him when he was going to get a girlfriend, he would scream.

"I don't -want- a girlfriend," he muttered sourly.

"Why not?" Brock had asked, completely confused. He wouldn't understand, would he.

"Why? What's the point?"

The taller teen had stopped, giving the same expression Mom had given when he'd
asked her why blue was blue and why the sun shone. "It's... well... you don't want
to be alone, do you?"

"No," Ash said doubtfully, considering this. "But I'm not alone now. I'm talking
with you. You aren't my girlfriend."

"That's different," Brock said impatiently, running a hand through his spikes.

"How?"

"It-- it just is!"

Realizing he would get no suitable answer, Ash gave up. "I still don't get what's
so hot about girls."

"What? They really aren't going to give you cooties, you know. But if you're
lucky, you might get something else," he said with an expression that made him
look really foolish.

Come on, he wasn't ten anymore. It wasn't that girls scared him or disgusted him
or anything like that... they just didn't interest him. Girls were boring. They
were interested in clothes, or appearance, or--

"Me," Brock grinned, flipping through his scrapbook-- or Girl File, as he liked to
call it.

"Or -boys-," Ash frowned, still sore over his earlier rejection. "What are we
supposed to talk about? Why aren't girls interested in pokemon? Or at least
movies, music, -something-. ...Are you paying attention to me at all?"

"Yeah, sure. A pokemon girl. Why don't you go out with... eh... Sabrina? Too
creepy. Duplica? Maybe not. Erika? No... she's mine," he grinned. Ash rolled his
eyes. "Oh wait, how could I forget?"

"No," Ash said flatly.

"You don't even know what I was going to say," Brock griped.

"I do. You'll ask me why not Misty when we get along as well as she gets along
with anyone and she acts so much like a boy that she's tolerable."

Brock paused. "Well, maybe not in so many words, but..."

Ash sighed. He'd been over it again and again in his head over the past three
years. Why not Misty? She didn't look -that- bad, she liked him well enough--
they'd been together for so long. And maybe that was part of it. They were so
close that they'd become-- too close. It felt almost incestuous. They were too
close to take such a chance, loved each other too much to be 'in love' with each
other.

But, Ash being Ash, he didn't have any idea how to put these thoughts into words.
So instead he shrugged. "Why don't you do it?"

Brock wrinkled his nose. "It'd be like going out with my dau-- er, little sister.
You guys are like my family."

"Exactly. So why are you pawning her off on me?"

"Well hell, somebody ought to have her."

Approximately at this point was when Misty appeared fuming in the doorway, yelling
something about not wanting to be treated like a piece of meat. Ash laughed later
on. Like anyone would want to eat Misty. At the time, though, he'd just yelled in
pain as she whaled on them both. He guessed they had hurt her feelings, but she
didn't have to be -that- rough... She should be happy they were concerned about
her well-being, right?

Ash told her so, luckily wording it better than in his thoughts for once.

"Really?" she said, softening. "You just wanted me to be happy?"

"Sure," Ash nodded. "I mean, its not like you wanted to go out with either of us,
did you?"

Oops. Her face froze for an instant, and even Ash knew he had hit home.

"Of course not! Talk about bad ideas," she snapped. All right, -now- she was mad
because of him. It was somehow reassuring.

"Misty," he began, trying to smooth things over. Brock looked worriedly between
them.

"What?" she barked.

Ash... backed down. It was too close to the PokeCon to risk death. They'd
straighten things out later, he promised. "Um... Why are yo-- er, I mean, what do
you need?"

"I was just coming to see if you wanted to go to registration together." Her tone
hinted that all of this was a past tense.

"Well, I'd like to go with you," Ash began. Maybe he could salvage... something.

"Me too, if that's all right," Brock piped up, looking sheepish.

She looked down, for an instant looking very sad and un-Misty-like. "Fine," she
said finally. Her face looked tired, and Ash inexplicably felt a pang of guilt.
"Actually, why don't you two go ahead, and I'll catch up with you?"

"You sure?" Brock said.

"Yes," she grunted, a bit of the old fire back in her voice. "Go on... that way we
won't have to wait in line as long. Or I won't, anyway."

"Geez, Misty," Ash said, sticking out his tongue. But he made sure to give her a
smile before he left the room.

Now -this- threw a wrench in things. He could only hope that the one she really
wanted to be with had been Brock. Much as he loathed to say it, Brock was a lot
more the dashing, manly type that she seemed interested in than Ash was. He meant,
Brock was tall, dark and handsome, and the squinty-eye thing could be interpreted
as kinda sexy, if you tried hard. Sure, it was less than he bragged, but he had
been working out, and his arms were kinda... yeah. Comparatively, Ash was kinda
skinny and awkward, and cute, definitely he felt he could compete on a cuteness
factor, not that he was feeling defensive or anything, but otherwise...

Yes, and this was good because it meant it was Brock's problem and not his. She
had to have unrequited Brock-lust, not Ash-lust. Pity, really... seemed that Misty
was having just as poor luck with men as he was.

Oh, wait.

"Ah, so -that-'s the problem," Brock said, an understanding look lighting his
face.

Uh, had he said that aloud?

"Yup," Brock nodded. "Why didn't you just say you didn't like chicks? All my
talents gone to waste."

"I did tell you I wasn't interested in girls," Ash said, still a bit shaken over
his unintentional outing. "Besides, I didn't say I didn't like all girls, just not
any of the ones I've ever seen." He decided to withhold any comment on Brock's
'talents'. Ash looked away, then back to the other teen, making an effort to look
him in the eye. "This isn't.. this isn't going to change anything, is it? I mean,
I know what you... I hope you don't hate me now." Blessedly, Ash allowed himself
to flee the gym leader's scrutiny, dropping his gaze and hugging his arms around
himself, taking a step against the wall of the hallway.

Wow... how had everything blown up around him? He really hadn't thought all that
much about his feelings towards girls and boys, including them in the ever-growing
category of Annoying/Troubling Things That Weren't Pokemon, a convenient place to
put all the thoughts he didn't feel like dealing with for a while, like ever. Now
both Misty and Brock hated him now; Pikachu had already run off with some other
pikachu a couple hours ago. Maybe Team Rocket would come by and make the day
complete.

He wasn't looking; he was in fact, actively not looking up, but he couldn't miss
the shadow thrown by his approach, the presence, the scent of the rock trainer
drawing close -- very close -- to him. Maybe he was going to beat him up. That
would be fun to explain to Professor Oak tomorrow...

"Ash." The name was said solemnly, with finality. Guess it probably was the end,
then. Ash braced himself for contact. He heard a brief sigh, then Brock had a hand
on his chin, pulling Ash's face to his, then his lips (warm!) were upon his.

That was unexpected.

Ash lifted his arms to pull clos-- no, to push the teen away, but instead his arms
were heavy and unresponsive. After the briefest of eternities, Brock finally
pulled away, an odd expression on his face. Actually, it was probably no more
strange than the one Ash himself wore.

"Uh, Brock... just because I like a guy doesn't mean that I like -you-..."

Brock scowled, sticking out his tongue. "Trust me, the feeling is mutual. What the
hell did you eat today? You didn't look like you were going to listen to reason,
so I figured I'd show you."

"Show me what?" The messy-haired boy was completely puzzled.

"That I don't care if you're gay. Brock the Rock must be fair to everyone," he
said, loftily. After a quick debate, Ash decided not to further pursue that train
of thought. "Sorry for pushing you into feeling you had to have a girlfriend. I
know how painful it can be. I just wanted to make sure that you were spared my
teenaged years, all of the sadness and rejection, from girl after girl, almost too
much for a young, virile boy to bear," he cried, manly tears streaming down his
face.

Not the first time, Ash was happy the hallway was deserted. "Thanks for the
concern, but--"

"No! I will redouble my efforts! You won't have to be alone anymore!"

Ash considered telling Brock that no, really, he was not in the immediate market
for a mate, but it was pretty hopeless. Apparently the dark-skinned boy could be
just as single-minded over men as women. "...Whatever. Let's get in line before
Misty kills us for being late."

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tbc.

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[notes]

+ I wrote this part back in February or so... future parts adhere a lot more to
the 'shishi' part of the fic.
+ "driving on the right" is something that Lucy will understand, but she'd hit me
if I explained it. Hell, she'll probably hit me for using it at all...
+ "sweet" is a song by Bonnie Pink. Actually, all chapter titles will be songs by
Bonnie Pink. I like Bonnie Pink.

[next]

Less bouldershipping! More Gary! 'Snif' says the Brock fan (me), 'It's about
damned time' say the people here for a shishi (you). And the PokeCon!