In Another Life

"If only, I could have told him."

It flashbacks to when we played Cops and Robbers, I was admiring the slim nape of his neck. He smelled of shampoo and some sweat, is this what all boys smell like? I never took much consideration in boys, like my friends did. I found them, rowdy and idiotic. They always seemed to fool around and I wasn't comfortable around them. I didn't seem to have this problem with Tanaka-kun though. He didn't seem, actually he was different to me. He seemed, actually more, different than the rest and he made me feel insecure at sometimes. I often met his glance while walking down the hallway, then breaking our eye contact off, and then our eyes wandering back to look at each other. He made me feel different than the other boys.

"Ah! I think I see someone over there!"A voice could be heard from a boy who was playing a cop.

I didn't know what to do and suddenly Tanaka-kun

"Shhh." He pushed me further back into the hiding spot

He then stood and ran far away, causing the cop to run after him. I watched as he laughed and then sat by himself in the circle drawn in the sand, marked prison.

All of a sudden, I had the urge to rescue him from the circle, making me dash from my hiding spot, running to where he was.

Instead, I got caught myself and I sat there for the rest of the time as the game went on.

"When you ran for me…I felt…pretty…well…happy."He whispered softly while he was looking ahead.


I didn't know what to say as my voice trembled the whole time. I wondered if he could tell.

The moment of time of us being there, it seemed to last forever as my heartbeats often were out of time.



It all comes back to me once I met you once again. Casually bumping into you in the hallways, turning back to get another look and finding that it was a probably a different person due to your name. Your face still looked like it was in the past, once I heard your name wasn't Tanaka, I thought I had the wrong person after all. But after some time, I realized that after that casual bump in the hallways, led me to wonder about you. You walked home the same way I did, the same neighborhood that Kou used to live in. I did wonder if you were Kou, but in a sense, I was denying it due to your name. As you turned into the shrine, all the denying stopped; it felt that you really were him.

He really is. He really is!

The thoughts of that you really were Tanaka-kun rushed back into me as I ran following you into the shrine, then stopping to see that he was sitting behind one of the poles.

"T-Tanaka-kun?"The words left questionably but also regretting if it wasn't him.

"I'm Mabuchi, though."He shifted his glance back to me and stated his reply.

I blushed and felt queasy about my once again false accusation and turned around to leave feeling dejected.

"It's pouring all of a sudden, huh?"

I turned around at his words; those words brought back those feelings of nostalgia. Back then, when we both had taken cover from the rain in the shrine, Tanaka-kun had whispered the same exact words.

"You're Tanaka-kun, aren't you?" I stated my question once again; pretty sure this time that it was him.

"It's Mabuchi Kou, now. My parents divorced, and my name changed…"

I started to walk toward him overwhelmed by the feelings I had back then for him. The person that I liked, the first boy I ever liked. I finally got to see him-

"…But seriously, you never noticed me until now? It took you such a long time and I was starting to wonder if you would ever find out."


"I knew it was you at first sight, but it seems that you've changed. Something more wilder, unlike your tame self before, I see."

"W-WHAT, You've changed too, Tanaka-kun! If you knew that it was me, you should have came and talked!"




Going back to now, I wonder how I do feel toward him. Its love, isn't it? After I met him again, no matter how I deny these feelings, they won't go away. His constant teasing, small acts of kindness and how he puts up his cold front. As I noticed, I've already taken them to heart, wondering if this side of him was only shown to me.



"If only, I talked with you. Where would we be now?"




"In another life, I would be your only."