Please excuse me while I get this Girl Genius fanfiction out of my system. We will return to your regularly scheduled other fanfiction soon, I promise. Maybe. There might be some Code Geass or Labyrinth in everyone's future...But yeah. My friend Babette diagnosed me with shipper...I knew already, I mean, but...yeah. It was pretty bad. I was texting her most of last week with things like "I ship Gil/Agatha forever. I don't even care what it turns out to be," and "I ship Higgs/Zeetha, you can't stop me," or "I ship Vole/Bang, they're adorable." And such. So yeah.

To all of my regular readers, I'm not jumping fandoms! I just found a new one and have to get it out of my system a bit!


She had a baby brother somewhere out here, Zeetha knew that much. The nobles had threatened her father at court—threatened to kill both her and her little brother, believing that her father had too much power over her mother. As if, she thought to herself meanly as she looked after Agatha's boy. He would sleep for a few more hours probably—he was a strong one, he reminded her of her mother's brother Zug. She had been two when her mother had given birth to a son, to the horror of much of the court.

Her father, Chump, had stolen away in the night with her brother—her mother had told her that it had been the hardest thing either of them had ever agreed on. But without him around, her mother had been able to protect Zeetha herself as was proper for the queen of Skifander to do for her eldest daughter. It had been Zeetha's secret mission given to her by her mother—Find her father Chump and her lost brother who had been too small to have even had a name.

Zeetha had been losing hope in recent months until Agatha had appeared and at least given her confirmation that Skifander was not merely a fever dream. Agatha knew little else than what a disappeared uncle gave her, but it was the fact that finally someone knew of Zeetha's homeland that gave her hope. And then that man, that Baron Wulfenbach, had recognized her so instantly—had spoken in the tongue of her mother! Right before the Wrong Agatha—Lucrezia had done something to him. He had been asking about her mother the queen—she would whittle her swords to nothing if she was wrong about his unfinished question. Perhaps this Gilgamesh Wulfenbach would also know a touch of Skifandrian?

Glancing at him she saw that he was still quite unconscious. Pity. She would have to ask him later.

Her mouth quirked to one side, studying the Wulfenbach's face. Her mother had said that Chump had fierce brows, wickedly curved like thick swords, and his face was beleaguered by an overwhelming nose over which his eyebrows perched. Her mother had spoken of Chump's eyes, gray-blue like the morning fog after a night of rain. Zeetha's heart felt heavy at the thought of her mother—the strongest warrior in all of Skifander, lonely and bereft without the only man she would call husband. Chump had left her only memories, Zeetha, and a ring fashioned from a piece of the crashed flying machine he had arrived in.

This young Wulfenbach had none of the Baron's nose, but if Zeetha squinted she could see her mother's delicate one instead. Indeed, if she looked closely at each of his features, she saw many of the things her mother had said she could identify her father by—his brow, and his hair the color of honey, the ever-present almost-smile on his resting face. Just because Chump had frowned when awake, her mother had said, did not mean that he never smiled. Indeed, as Zeetha thought more of it, it seemed that perhaps this young man could perhaps be…her lost brother? And was his father—her jaw dropped in horror as she realized that Agatha had dropped a house on him! She had been just inches, less than a foot, from her father Chump!

Well, at least Agatha had put him mostly back together…and he was apparently alive. Zeetha regarded her charge and tried to decide what to do. Her mother had charged her with finding Chump and the lost son of Skifander, while Agatha had charged her with looking after the Wulfenbach boy.

"Zo, does de Miz Agatha's boy sleep still? He vere verra bad off vhen he come heer," Mama Gkika's voice crawled over her skin. Zeetha was her mother's daughter, and Chump's daughter, and as such didn't startle. Barely. She must be losing her edge if a Jager was able to sneak up on her like that.

"He seems to be on the mend, Mama," she said softly, it wouldn't do to wake him earlier than was reasonable.

"Den hyu should mebbe take care of dat fadder of hyou, yez? Ve haff a tunnel dat go all de vay to de Grett Hospit'l vhere dey haff him."

"What? What do you mean?" Zeetha gaped at the implications of Mama Gkika's words. Her musings had been silent, her face had been schooled, there was no way—

"De Jagers, ve know hour leaders. Now dere iz de Miz Agatta, but before hyer vas de Herr Baron—ve can schmell him und his son, and ve can all schmell hyu. None of hyu schmell zo nize as Miz Agatta, but hyu, Miz Zeetta, hyu iz de dotter of Klaus Vulfenbach or Hi vould burn my het und de hets of my family. Hyu has a brodder, und a fadder now, Sveethott. Dose two haff no woman in dere family for too long, it iz a goot tink dat hyou blades iz sharp."

"Can ve give Herr Vulfenbach hyis het now, Mama?" Oggie's voice called from the other side of the door. Mama Gkika patted Zeetha's shoulder and stood up, opening the door a sliver.

"No, Oggie! Hye still sleepin' hyu hear? But if hyu all be qvuiet, I let one of hyu in. Miz Zeetta hyere vill take de odder two und get de Baron from de Grett Hospit'l—family has to schtick together, no?" Her fierce, sharp toothed grin turned back towards Zeetha with the question. Zeetha smiled with hope.

"Yes, yes, they do."

Roughly an hour later, after brutally murdering a few Lucreziaclanks and maybe a few Lucrezias, Zeetha settled Chump into the bed beside her brother Gilgamesh. So what if she had maybe sort of caused a few massive explosions in the hospital and perhaps killed a few patients here or there. These people could put themselves back together again just fine, there was no need to get fussy about a little river or two of blood—besides, if she calculated it right, Ashtara's festival day was soon. It was a good way to celebrate it, Zeetha decided as she settled in to watch over her lost brother and her mother's lost husband.

Now she just needed to figure out just what Lucrezia had done to Chump, and then she would tell Chump just what Lucrezia had done to Agatha and then everything would be fine. And if Chump disagreed, she would hit him as was the right of the eldest daughter of the queen of Skifander—her father might be the ruler here in Europa, but right now Zeetha was the only one in the room capable of standing.

Zeetha grinned fiercely as a thought crossed her mind—Agatha would never be rid of her now. For there would be no one half so suited for her Zumil as her kid brother, and there would be no one half so suited for her kid brother as her Heterodyne Zumil—she would have to talk some sense into her father Chump, of course, but once he saw reason he would support her decision. He also, if the murmurings of the Jagers were true, would see to it that the lying, betraying, poor excuse for a man's—let alone a woman's—son Tarvek the Redheaded Betraying Liar was seen out of the castle by way of a long drop into the moat. She was more cut out for this ruling stuff than she'd thought.

The Baron—Chump—her father groaned a little and opened his eyes slightly. His gaze was bleary, but Zeetha could clearly see the eyes her mother had spoken of so forlornly. Weakly his hand came up to rest on his throat, and his brows knit together as he tried to speak. Zeetha reached across and took his hand between hers.

"I know, I think I saw what she did to you. It was the Other, but it wasn't Agatha. Please believe me, for I am Zeetha, daughter of Chump, and I wouldn't lie to you. I'll make you well, or I will die in the effort." His eyes focused a little better at those words, and a careworn smile stretched across his face in a way that Zeetha could almost convince herself that she remembered. His fingers tightened around hers as he drifted back to sleep.