So I told myself I wasn't going to update this very quickly JUST for the express purpose of not bringing up the hopes of readers that quick updates would be normal. But I couldn't help myself. I'm oddly intrigued with the ideas going through my head for this one, and creating family dynamics with very little characterization by the creators in the first place is fun too darn fun! So yeah, this isn't going to be a normal updating schedule for me... but just for this week (WHOOO! WINTER FINALS! .;) I'm happy to be writing and posting a bunch. Hope you guys don't mind the super AU-ness of this. I decided to mess around with how their actual relationships are, in case you didn't notice it in the last chapter, so you can't get upset about me creating my own thing here. ;) Now on to reading, my lovelies!

Three Years Later…

"Five… four… three… two… one… ready or not, here comes Uncle Cyst!"

Lizard watched as the four children ran—well, three of them ran around, the fourth being just a little tyke sort of tottered around giggling—trying to find hiding places from 'Uncle Cyst'. Ruby and the girls, now nine and seven years old respectively ran as a trio over to a rusted out hull of a truck and crawled inside. Little Jonathan, suddenly being left alone out in the open with no idea how to hide himself ran to Lizard on the porch of one of the house and crawled into his lap, covering his eyes with his hands. The man tried not to laugh but failed.

Cyst stared at the duo sitting in Big Mama's rocking chair, and Lizard glanced around before grinning at the bigger man. A smile that showed oddly straight and only slightly yellowed teeth was the response as Cyst began saying loudly, "Now… I wonder what happened to those four. Gee, they're sure good at hidin'."

Giggles erupted from the truck shell before they quieted to conspiratorial whispers. Their 'Uncle' walked over near their hiding spot and pretended to be completely stumped, "They's sure good at this hide 'n' seekin'. 'Ey, Lizard! Where'd ya suppose they went runnin' off tah?" The grin on the man's face was contagious for Lizard, and the younger man grinned back.

Little Jonathan uncovered one eye and looked up at Lizard with sadness in his large green eyes, "Don't wanna be it, Lizard."

From the get go, the entire village had insisted that Big Mama and Papa Jupiter be called Ma and Pa by the kids, and everyone else ('cept for little Ruby, who they saw as their sister) Uncles and Aunts. Even the breeders Lizard had caught with the help of Pluto's incredible strength had come to be called Auntie Sue, Auntie Mara, and Uncle Timothy by the kids. Only Lizard was left out, and powers that be help him, he didn't get why the tiniest member of the family refused to call him Uncle. Hell, he'd even go for Aunt Liz if the kid wanted to give him a familial name, but no. The infuriatingly adorable brat seemed to view himself as an equal to Lizard.

He whispered back, "Ya call me yer Uncle, an' I won't give ya away."

The look that came to the munchkin's face angered Lizard more than he wanted to admit. And the response he got was even more annoying, "Not Uncle. You say 'Mama' like me."

Ah, so that was it. The perceptive little shit had noticed that Lizard was rather lax with how he referred to Big Mama and Papa Jupiter, opting for Ma and Pa like the kids. Who could blame him though? They seemed to respond a bit more favorably to the childlike terms, and whenever Lizard was caught trying to sneak into one of the breeder's rooms in the middle of the night (one was supposed to get permission first, but when you need something, you need it), both Jupiter and Big Mama seemed less angry at him over it as of late. Jupiter particularly liked being called Pa by the others… some fraternal shit no doubt.

"Well, if that's how yer gonna be, Jonathan… 'ey, Cyst! I think I found one of 'em!"

Jonathan covered both eyes again, snuggling into Lizards chest like a little ball of heat, his red hair and ratty tee and jeans combo all that was left for the man to see of him as he whispered, "Lizard… Uncle…"

Cyst moved slowly closer, seeing the way Jonathan hated to be the first one found, saying loudly, "I dunno 'bout that, Lizard; I don't see any of 'em anywhere. Ya think they ran off into of them houses?" They exchanged equal grins again over the little boys flaming hair, and Lizard saw three set of eyes peeking from the truck carcass.

"What was that, little'un?"

"Not it… Uncle Lizard…"

"That's my boy," he whispered just loud enough for Jonathan to hear before looking up at Cyst, "Dunno, Cyst. I thought I saw some eyes over in that there truck. Might wanna check 'er out."

As Cyst went limping toward the giggling truck, still exclaiming that he had no idea where any of the children had gone, Lizard received a tug on his vest. He looked down to see those large, brilliantly green eyes looking at him, to which he responded gently, "Whaddya want, kid?"

"Thanks, Lizard," the little tyke said before climbing out of Lizards lap and running off… probably to find a different and less betraying 'hiding spot', which probably meant he was going to run into the communal house in search of Big Mama for a peanut butter sandwich and a story. And once again: Lizard was back to being just plain ol' Lizard, not Uncle Lizard.

"Fuckin' kids," Lizard mumbled before standing up and stretching his arms and legs luxuriantly, "Never shoulda kept the little guys… no matter how cute they look."

'Uncle Timothy', a tall man with platinum blonde hair and a perpetual smile on his damned handsome face (he was the first catch for the purpose of breeders almost two and a half years ago and had adapted to the family much easier than Lizard was comfortable with), emerged from the doorway closest to Lizard, "You don't mean that; you like these kids."

"Shuddup, ya stupid bastard…" he responded half-heartedly, not caring what anyone but Jupiter thought about his going soft for a bunch of parentless brats. Sure, he liked the kids, loved 'em even, but there was no way he'd ever tell a soul. Not even a bleeding breeder, who he felt he could trust in an odd sort of way.

Timothy smirked, leaning against of the support beams that attached the porch floor to the overhanging roof, his arms crossed. Lizard knew the guy was maybe nineteen at the oldest, but he was still imposing, especially when he came and stood so damn close to the mutant. The blond finally looked away from Lizard (who had very resolutely not looked back) and watched Cyst limp happily after the little girls scurrying around out in the open, "Well, maybe if you didn't deny it so much, you'd realize that I'm right." That handsome smile widened at the glee on all four faces out in the sun, kicking up dust.

"And maybe if you di'int deny it so much, you'd realize I'm bein' serious when I tell ya to shuddup, blondie. Go fuck one o' the girls if ya got nothin' better ta do," Lizard snorted.

The point of having breeders wasn't so much for the men of Village to get some pussy, as Jupiter had told them after they caught the norms— they still used the women for their own pleasure from time to time, but they were for the norms to interbreed a bit and create some more norms to bait people into the heart of the Test Village. Nothing had happened yet… no babies, but there would be. Then there'd be less work for the lot of 'em, and possibly would make for everyone to be a bit happier with each other. Lizard's kids from three years ago had already worked some magic on the family and had made even Big Brain a bit less of a bitch. Only a bit, though. That freak was still one bitter pain in the ass to most everybody but the kids… took after Jupiter with that trait.

"Mm," was Timothy's hummed response, half ignoring Lizards jibes until he turned his smile toward to the grumpy man, "Why don't you fuck one of the girls if you've got nothing better to do? You don't seem to like the kids, so why watch them play with your 'brother' over there?"

Lizard snorted. That stupid pretty boy thought he could talk to his better like that? He had something else coming to his prissy little ass. The shorter, mutated man gripped Timothy by the neck and threw him against the outer wall of the house before pinning him with his face towards the wall and his back against Lizard's chest. Lizard leaned upwards and breathed in the norms ear, one hand on the back of the blonde's neck and the other trailing slowly down to the man's ass, hoping to shock the shit out of him, "How's about I pound yer ass instead, ya little fucker?"

However, it was Lizard who just about shit his pants at the man's murmured statement, probably meant to be quiet enough for Lizard not to hear. But Lizard's time out in the desert with nothing but a gurgling giant baby and near silence, his hearing had improved to something almost super human in quality.


"What'd you say!" Lizard recoiled, nearly stepping off the porch as he backed up quickly, wiping his hands on his pants and vest, feeling suddenly dirty.

Timothy stayed where he was, his forehead resting against the peeling wood, looking at ease with the situation, and Lizard could almost hear the smile on his face, "Nothing."

The girls and Cyst were still having fun out in the dirt and the sun, laughing as if there was never a care in the world that could intrude on their happiness. At least that was a safe zone for the man. As long as they didn't know what the hell was happening on the porch of the little yellow house, then everything was good. He just hoped they wouldn't notice the tense situation.

"Are you… one o' them homosexuals, Timothy?" Lizard surprised himself at the near gentleness of his tone. Little did the breeder blonde know, but Lizard was far from judging him; he couldn't judge someone when he was willing to fuck just about anything he could get if there weren't readily available women in the Village or nearby. Lizard was far from picky as long as he didn't get hurt by the toy he chose. But why the flying fuck had Timothy seemed so into being overpowered? Bleedin' creeper blonde, that's what this norm was.

Timothy turned to him with a cheeky grin on his face, "And if I was?"

Lizard pulled off his hat and scratched his head as he stared at the man. He glanced at the happy group, forcing his mind wander to what his small ward was doing and what mischief he was getting his tiny little ass into. Surely the little boy was having more fun than Lizard, making the man wish he could trade places just once to see what it felt like to be so careless. Damned lucky kid didn't know what he had. "Ain't gonna judge ya for it, but what the fuck'd you say that for?"

Timothy rolled his blue eyes and clapped Lizard on the shoulder as he walked past him towards the girls and Cyst, "Wouldn't you be happy at the prospect to get a good fuck when you hadn't had any in over two years?" The look on Lizards face caused the blonde to laugh, "I'm not gay for you, Lizard… don't you worry your ass over it. I'm just willing to take what I can out here."

And with that, he was gone to visit the girls and join their game (which had seemed to morph into a game of tag) in place of little Jonathan.

"Fuckin' gay… 'magine that," Lizard mumbled to himself, wandering away to go find a certain little ginger boy and whoever he had favored to give his company to. And possibly to find Jupiter to tell him that there was no way they'd get any babies outta Timothy as long as he was some haughty little fudge packer. "Never woulda thought him to be the gay one outta that group we found 'im in!"

Naw, he'd let Jupiter find out about the guy himself… that'd save Timothy from being beaten, that's for sure. Probably'd play it off as infertility or some shit when Jupiter was bound to get in his pretty face, too. No problems for Lizard in the long run and that was how he liked it.

Pluto stood in the shadows of one of the houses, completely still and watching the little girls he cared so much for play with Cyst. He noticed how good the man was with kids and took the time to wonder why he hadn't had kids of his own. There wasn't anything wrong with him after all, just some 'deformities' that made him look a little different from all the norms, and he was really good with animals and children…

When Timothy entered the game, Pluto suddenly became very uncomfortable standing where he was. Something about the pretty norm made Pluto's stomach feel all fluttery, and he wished that he could talk to the norm naturally like all the others did. They would probably have really cool conversations like Lizard had with Goggle from time to time, and they'd be really good friends and take care of the children together like a real family. After all, that Timothy norm was a much prettier girl than the other two.

But the cool conversations were what he wanted the most if he ignored the urge to hug the innards out of the pretty blonde. Conversations like:

"'Ey, shit breath, ya wanna hear a funny joke?"

"Guess so… don'tchya call me shit breath, Lizzy. Ya know I don't eat shit on purpose all the time… an' that one time was by pure acc… accee… mistake."

"Whatever. Okay, so howdya know the CIA wasn't involved in that JFK guys murderin'?"

"What's the CIA?"

"How'm I supposed to know that?"

"Yer the one with the joke."

"Ah, yeah, go on and ruin the joke, shit breath."

"Naw, I'mma still listenin'. Why weren't they involved?"

"He's dead, ain't 'e?"

"Heh, I guess that ain't bad since it had tah to with dead norms!"

"See what I was meanin'? Funny shit!"

Yeah, conversations like those with the pretty blonde girl would be real nice. Who cared if she didn't have breasts like Lizard seemed so obsessed with? This norm was pretty and Pluto really liked Timothy and her deep voice. It was soothing and not so annoying; and she never cried and screamed like the other girls still did sometimes in their sleep. What were they screamin' about anyway? Nobody was trying to eat them, though they were probably better off as food with how ill-tempered they were toward Pluto. He didn't like the mean girls.

He liked that Timothy girl a lot, though, 'cause she was nice to Pluto.

And she was mighty pretty.

Big Brain sat in the communal house with Big Mama and the little red-headed runt that Lizard had saved a few years before. Though he hadn't let anyone know through words that he liked the little squirt, he wasn't too good with goods and hated hearing himself talk in those horrible sounding gasps, he made sure everyone knew that he liked the kid and the girls. He and his older sisters were three things in the entire Test Village that he hadn't gotten upset at yet, and they always kept him happy with their nonjudgmental norm faces.

The little girls were his favorites if he was to be forced to choose, especially that Kimberly with her nonstop questions and curiosity. She seemed to like Big Brain the most, and liked to sit on his lap whenever they wanted him to tell them a story even though she was starting to be a bit big for it. Those big hazel eyes always smiled up at him as if he was the most interesting person in the Test Village.

"Big Mama… you said that… you… had some… good news that… you wanted… to… share with me… before you told the… others," Big Brain said with a half-smile on his face as watched Jonathan sit on the dusty, stained wooden boards of the living floor, eating a slice of bread with peanut butter spread on top of it. He was managing to get a lot of the peanut butter on the sides of his face, which was rather comical.

"Mmm, that I do. An' I wanna tell everyone else 'bout it, too once dinner time comes 'round. But I thought you might wanna hear it first seein' as you're closest to me, second to Jupe," the large woman responded with a huge, almost dreamy smile on her face as she brushed the hair of her wig with the utmost tenderness and care.

Big Brain laughed breathily, enjoying the pure joy that had come into her countenance at whatever it was she wanted to tell him. And it made him even happier that she wanted to tell him first instead of one of those good for nothings she called her sons, or even that tender-hearted man, Cyst, they had adopted into the family as another son to Big Mama about ten years ago. Big Brain felt special and loved… and that was a very good feeling indeed.

"What… is it…?"

"Yer not gonna believe it, Brainy, really, ya won't!"

"Try… me…"

"Well, Jupe an' me 'ave been tryin' for ages to have one more baby, ya know? Since them girls ain't getting' any buns in their oven an' we've been tryin' to get our numbers up 'n' all that."

The wheelchair bound man nodded as best he could when the woman paused, staring at pretty much nothing with that same dreamy smile on her face. Her hand continued to absently guide the old hairbrush through the faux locks in her hand. Big Brain waited and turned his attention briefly to little Jonathan, now done with his bread and peanut butter and staring at Big Mama as if she was telling some grand story. He looked over at Big Brain after a moment and smile brilliantly at him with a wide grin that showed almost all his teeth and his eyes scrunching so far as to seem almost closed. Cute kid. They both looked back to Big Mama.

"Brainy, we've done it! We's gonna be havin' a baby 'round here again!"

For the first time in what felt like ages, Big Brain wished that he could get out of his chair. He wanted to hug Big Mama and dance around the room with all the happiness that swelled inside his heart and body. But the best he could do was slap the armrests of his chair and laugh happily, "Well… congratu… lations, Big Mama…! I'm so happy… for you… and Jupiter. Do you… have any names… picked out yet?"

"Well, we were thinkin' that maybe you could name 'em, Brainy," she said with a loving stare that meant she was dead serious, and that Big Brain better not protest the honor of it, "But ya don't have t' until the baby's born, ya know, so ya got some time to think it over."

"I'd be… glad to… Big Mama… and again, congratuala… tions! This is… wondrous… news for the whole family!"

The two names that immediately came to Big Brains mind were what he hoped would be perfect additions, either one of them, to the family's eclectic titles. Venus and Mercury.

A list of author's notes! :D

#1: I'd love to thank Berry's Ambitions and The Hills Are Watching You for their lovely reviews. You guys really did make my Monday grand! :)

#2: Are you guys cool with me introducing 3 more OC's into this? I'm just curious... 'cause I feel it could be a bit risky, but then again, who else could adorable ol' Pluto have a child-like crush on than that 'girl' *gigglesnort* Timothy?


#4: Review please...? I want to know what you guys are thinking when you read this stuff, and I can't if you just read and walk away. :3 Thank you, kindly!