Hallo everybody!

I'm a girl on a mission – fixing the worst fuck-ups of TB season 4.

This story begins after the confrontation in Moongoddess, but some of the details are AU, so don't be surprised. The origin of it is my frustration with Sookie who in addition to not choosing Eric over Bill seems to care only for the latter's well-being (was there at least one 'Eric!' there? I'm not sure) when they are both in danger, even if she just declared she loved the both.

No beta – looking for one.

I don't own True Blood. It's actually much closer to owning me than I would ever be to owning it.

I closed my eyes and let everything to fade away for a moment.

Only it didn't.

I sighed. I was so exhausted I could have fall asleep standing, but at the same time my own thoughts didn't seem to share my desire to stop the world from spinning. Those little traitors. Every time I tried to close my eyes, images from the last few days and hours kept to come back to me.

Currently I was taking deep breaths while sitting at the passenger's seat in my brother's empty truck, where I came in a desperate attempt to calm down before anybody confront me. The truck was parked in the back alley near the Moon Goddess, just around the corner. And I was in the middle of the third series of my spontaneous breathing practice.

How did it happen? All of it? How did my life became something akin to a parodist version of a tacky supernatural soap-opera? And, more important, what was I supposed to do now?

I knew I wouldn't be solving any dilemmas that night. I was too upset and distracted to keep my telepathic shields in place and concentrating was next to impossible. The random strays of thoughts kept washing over me: I could recognise Jason's mind – which was actually nearly comforting because of its familiarity, despite of peculiar content – my other friends' somewhere in the background, drowning in the general mental noise emitted by all those people – former Marnie's followers. And then, there were, of course, vampires – the easiest to pinpoint, blissfully silent blank spots circling between all of them, busy glamouring humans. I could tell – listening to the exact moment when that buzzing activity suddenly switched to the static was kinda fascinating.

There were three of them. One was missing. It was probably Pam who took off after disobeying her maker. I've never thought I would say it, but thank God for Pam. It was her who managed to shake them all out of their trance.

I still couldn't believe they were willing to go trough Marnie's instructions without protest, without plan, without even trying to negotiate. At first I thought it was some kind of a sick joke – I mean, really, why were they so eager to sacrifice themselves when Marnie wasn't giving them anything in return? She wasn't planning on letting me go! What guaranty did they have she would not kill me anyway? In fact, I was sure she would, just out of pure malice. She was insane.

Bill, I could understand, it was more like him. You could see such choice knowing his MO – or at least his image. But Eric? Eric was a man with a plan. He was not a one to walk into that kind of situations – the lost-lost situations - without... well, without trying to do something. How would it help anybody if he'd let himself killed? He was the one that had gone as far as letting me believe he'd been willing to give me as a shiny chew-toy to Russel, for goodness sake! He let me hate him in order to save us all. Yes, he was risking his life then, too, but he was still gaining something, he had a purpose! Now, there was nothing.

As soon as I realised he was not kidding, that there was no trick, nothing up his sleeve, I panicked. Here I was, losing the only two men I've ever loved at the same moment. Served me right for not making a choice. I wanted both of them? - well I wasn't going to be able to keep any of them. I was scared for both of them, but it was seeing Eric Northman sinking on his knees, giving up, simply waiting for being slaughtered that made me lost it.

I don't know, maybe it was just because he was first in line to be killed, but I couldn't concentrate on anything else then. I think I yelled all of this, all my reasoning trying to stop them, to make someone stop them! But it wasn't working.

... and for what? For me? For giving me a chance to live few more minutes? After what I said and did to him last night? After how – I realised suddenly – cruel I was to him, when I all but dismissed him opening up to me for the first time in who knows how long and bravely admitting he...

Now this thousand year old warrior was about to be shot by the very man whose name I used to taint Eric's confession.

Not on my watch.

So I screamed. I screamed for someone, anybody, to stop this madness. Realising too late, that no one except me gave a shit. No one but Pam.

It was then, in the last moment before Bill pulled the trigger, I called her name. Our eyes locked for a split of second and I knew - we were thinking the same thing: no way.

She fired at Marnie and all the hell broke loose. I suppose Eric was angry at her for taking that risk, but I was only grateful. After all, it ended well – we made it alive, or undead, I don't really care.

I sighed. Look at me, here I was again, unable to stop myself from reliving it over and over. I just hoped Jason would come here and took me home already.

Suddenly the double sound of slowly approaching footsteps brought me out of my musings. However, it was not my brother coming, nor my friends. I detected two vampire minds in some distance behind me. The night was warm, so I had car windows open and could hear them just fine. Didn't they know I was here? Were they too occupied by themselves to notice me? Did they know I could hear them? Did they forget my senses were much sharper now, after ingesting all that vampire blood? Or maybe they just didn't care?

The sickening sound of the gun being reloaded invaded my thoughts. I froze. But it wasn't what I assumed. Neither was it the worst thing I was about to hear that night.

- So... Tell me, Bill – said the voice I'd recognise everywhere. - Was Pam's gun also loaded with the wooden bullets, or were these only for me?

Should I continue?